Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Jeffiner1
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 1
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok-so u send-emails-then u im and chat. U graduate to the phone. U set a day and time to meet. Sounds good--but it does not happen! I would like a mans point of view as to why this is happening!! Y bother with everything leading up to the date if you are going to call and cancel?
 rejectingall
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:05:31 PM
If I say its time to meet... I'll show up.

If you don't come close to what you portray in your profile...
I'll say "Hi... you lied... bye."
But I will be sure that you know I showed up.

 Mominatrix
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:05:39 PM
Because they are probably married.
 jewelescent
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 4
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:05:42 PM
At least they called to cancel. How about those that stand people up? lol
 *NauticalStar*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 5
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:06:48 PM
Because they like to hurt people and play games and make you feel like crap
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 6
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:30:20 PM
It's not just men, women do it as well. I think people chicken out. They can feel safe and secure online but the thought of actually TALKING to someone face to face scares the hell out of them.
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 7
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:31:47 PM
I don't think it's gender specific.
Sometimes peeps can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.

Definitely a waste of time and lame behavior.
I've never put anyone in that position, or visa versa. Pffft. It's just plain rude.
 bigdogchris
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 8
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:39:43 PM
Maybe he wasn't the guy he was telling you he was?
 jeeprennie
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 9
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:40:02 PM
They enjoy the chase, but they can't show up because then you'll find out they're a foot shorter, 50 pounds heavier, and 75% balder than they were in the 15 year old picture of them you saw.
 Rapidfire
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 10
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:47:00 PM
Because something happens...that's why dates get canceled. If you're meeting men who just waste all their time trying to get a date with you, just so they can cancel and make you suffer, then I have no advice for you, since I actually follow through on my dates.

Do you wait until the last minute to show them recent photos or something? Do you do anything different as the time for the date approaches? Maybe they think you have an ugly voice...we need more details to give you a good answer.
 WooZoo
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 11
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:31:57 PM
OP: Please... please stop saying this is a guy problem. Been stood up too ya know!
 ninjasword701
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 12
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:48:35 PM
I would never cancel unless it was for a very good reason like hospital, death, a severe illness or so forth. Canceling rather than postponing means that they never cared enough to meet you in the first place. Too bad more people would rather have a contact friend than an actual meet. Meet in a public place if needed. Don't be shy to say that it won't work out before a planed meet.
 §wannee
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:18:42 PM

Y bother with everything leading up to the date if you are going to call and cancel?


It's because we are such timid, and shy little creators.......
 UniqueManinSoCal
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 14
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 2:58:30 AM
There are many reasons for this happening.

It could be they are really busy and things just come up. It could be they find someone better to spend their time with. It could be they get cold feet. It could be they are just flakes. People in general do thing for their own reasons and it is sometimes better not to try and figure out why but rather than just deal with the consequences.

Now if they just don't show up, there is no excuse for that. That is grounds for instant dismissal. It is rude and disrespectful and I will not stand for it.

But if they cancel ahead of time due to a damn good reason (e.g. work / family emergency, etc) then I can understand... ONCE. But if it happens more than once or becomes a pattern then once again they are gone. I take that as disrespectful to me and my time which is precious and short.

 tps_877
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 15
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 5:33:24 AM
this guy was on me from the get go to meet him, even mapquested directions to his area where we were to meet and when i finally said yes after 5 weeks of messaging and getting along fine. I set a date i would be available and 2 days later he sends me a message and say I have no excuses, I don't want to meet you right now . well sounds like he turned it around and made it sound like i was dying to meet him. wierd HUH.he was the one on my back all this time, so I sent him a message and said well guess I called your bluff so who' the fake now. I am confused..
 nomadd77
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 16
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 5:52:13 AM
Because they like to hurt people and play games and make you feel like crap


Ok you caught us, this is the main aim of all mens lives. When we arent doing it we are talking with other guys about good techniques to do this.

sarcasm .... Jesus christ why are women so bitter on here, what could anyone do to you to make so bitter. how do you let someone have that kinda control over you.

Understand even if your remain single the rest of your life you can still have a complete , fulfilling life

I just dont get it
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 5:59:44 AM
I don't think it's gender specific.
Sometimes peeps can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.

Definitely a waste of time and lame behavior.
I've never put anyone in that position, or visa versa. Pffft. It's just plain rude.


It's not just men, women do it as well. I think people chicken out. They can feel safe and secure online but the thought of actually TALKING to someone face to face scares the hell out of them.

Yeah , I can testify to the fact that women cancel last minute all the time. I think they just plain chicken out.
This internet dating thing can be one big waste of time. First , you get bored with endless emails and chatting that probably go no where ....and then , when you are actually supposed to meet someone in person , they cancel last minute.
I wouldn't waste my time on much effort , and expect there to be a good chance they will cancel .
Don't take it too seriously .
 dioclem
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 18
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:09:55 AM
Lots of people are used to the way they live and don't like change. They are scared that they may change their life for the better. They are stuck where they are and don't want to change that.
 Earl425
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 19
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:23:13 AM
Myself, i am there if i said i would be. But here is something that is humourous now but made me have to cancel a date some months ago. A Lady i met through friends, i ask her if she would like to have chinese dinner. She said yes very much, so we planned a Saturday date. Well, she calls me an hour before we meet and says, can i bring my mother because my mother Earl never gets a chance to go out because my Dad keeps her pinned down at home.

WOW!! So i am what???? Oh she doesn't stop there, next she says this junk...hey Earl, a man like you needs to know you should pay my moms way when we eat out, because that creates acceptance into my family Earl. I didn't stand her up folks, i said hey Sue, i need time to handle my emotions and i'll call you in 10 years. She hung up (Thank you Sue).

Being that i met her through a friend, that friend informed me that her and her mother played hustle games of this sort. Also, i have seen times where women would keep adding things such as well let's add this this and that, one l;ady i noticed before i cancelled had it to where i figured it cost 200 dollars after she adds all these things on. So it sepends on what a woman considers a date, is it a entertainment hustle or to meet for dinner???.........Earl
 justsimplykristie
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 20
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:32:01 AM
What about the ones that do show up , things go well and you start *dating* . You have a date and then the next date he doesn't call until late that night with an excuse and you are gullible enough to go out again and have a good time, good conversation, only to have the next date cancelled for whatever reason. I do not fit into the low self esteem category. I am a positive person. I am who I am. I believe in giving a person another chance, but at the same time , there has to be a level of respect to at least pick up the phone and say " I know we had plans tonight but for whatever reason I can't make it." What if your gut instinct tells you he/she is a player, but you don't know for sure? Why is it that people ( men and women) say things they think the other person wants to hear? Do we truly think the other person is that stupid, or are we really just that stupid.....to want to believe what it told to us? If he/she doesn't want to date exclusively, why not just say so? Maybe I even already know the answers to my own questions. One thing is for sure, no matter what the outcome of my dating experiences, whether I end up with the one, or end up living a life of singleness..... I will be content. Nobody can be all that you want them to be and nobody will ever be enough.....except Jesus, but that surely doesn't mean we have to lower our standards and accept anything less than we deserve.

just simply
~Kristie~
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:50:35 AM
Because their skateboard is busted and their parents will not lend them the car on a school night. Or perhaps they take one final look at your restricitons and take some xanex.

Because they aren't ready for the real world.
 hughbaugher
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 22
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:15:28 AM
He may have showed up and just kept on driving.
I have heard of someone locking the doors and driving off when their date walked up to the get in the car. I guess that they misrepresented them self as something they are not.
 pepsi40
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 23
Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:15:47 AM
Hmmm, he did call and cancel, so thats a good and consider thing. Life is like that here things can happen to interfer in a date. Something in the que gets placed higher: work , family, another date that is going well, car problems, pet issues, colds, etc..

Your complaining cause he was considerate to cancel. He could just not shown up
 Jeffiner1
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 24
do not do anything different
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:26:21 AM
I do not do anything different. My picture on-line is a little fuzzy-but current. Everything we talk about the night before the date is the same as we have been talking about. Everything is going well on the phone-then comes the cancelling! Plus, after that, the phone calls stop!
 pepsi40
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 25
do not do anything different
Posted: 10/4/2007 12:27:52 PM
So he hit a deal breaker or you missed a hint he likes "xyz" and did not get response or he said he likes "abc" and you said "no way".

Another thing is, its dating... The dates are not in series (one date, then date then next , then date the next) but in parrell so that you can talk to a few people at once to determine the best person to date.

So lets assume the above is true, he went for the winner of that and you got second place, not bad but then again who remmbers who placed seccond in the 100 m
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Y do men cancel when it's time to meet?