| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 2:44:50 PM | Last night just as I was about to go to bed, my tenant and her sometimes boyfriend started getting frisky. She is very vocal and I can hear her very well. No inhibitions with her!!! tee hee Anyway, it's after midnight. My son has to be at work at 7:00 am. while I, luckily, had the day off. Then they proceed to take a 45 minute shower emptying my hot water tank. (I pay the utilities.) It is hard to sleep when the water is running upstairs because the noise of the water and plumbing reverberates all over my apartment. We never got to sleep until about 2 am. Then today, another 45 minute shower (no kidding).
What would you do????
Any suggestions, except of course, the funny ones, will be appreciated. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 3:17:24 PM | I suppose to cut back on the long showers, after 15 minutes (which is ample time to clean yourself) you could just go turn off the shut-off valve on the hot water tank ... (should be at the top of the tank but the handy men in here will be able to tell you where it might be found) ... then only cold water would be flowing through the pipe to their shower.
If she asks about it later ... just tell her the hot water tank no doubt ran out of hot water because she takes such "l_o_n_g" showers.  | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 3:47:41 PM | | You can't post a funny thread then exclude funny replies to it. That is wrong and unfair. many a truth is spoken in jest. I leave you to your sombre business and wish you only what you deserve. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:10:56 PM | Have her start dating your son so that she gets on somewhat the same schedual?
Tell her to get into S+M so she can wear a gag?
Boot her out and get a very quiet tenant...like a monk who's taken a vow of silence? | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:16:49 PM |
(I pay the utilities.) These situations are almost always sticky because the tenant has no financial reason to conserve utility cost. Setting up separate meters is possible, it can also be very costly $$$$$$$$$
I don't know your past situation but here's my first thought. Talk to your tenant and explain all this. Show a history of past bills, if you have them, from before your tenant moved in. Depending on the season, your electric and/or gas should reflect a norm. Water usage on the other hand should remain pretty stable, unless you water your lawn during the summer?
Getting your tenant to voluntarily conserve would be the best option. Failing that, it would be difficult to reword the lease to include compensation to you for excess usage. There would be no way to prove that you or your son weren't the ones using more of this or that.
Cotter's suggestion is, well, entertaining at least, lol, but what if your tenant wanted her body washed many times in one evening? You may also want to contact your local government to find out exactly what your rights and limitations are as a landlord. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:34:21 PM | Oops, I realize that I worded the last sentence wrong. I actually wanted to welcome the funny stuff. That's the part I love best: the funny stuff.
No, it's the boyfriend taking the long showers. She actually usually takes ones that last from 10-15 minutes. I could see if they were in there together, but nope, it was just him. I know this because she was talking on the phone during his shower.
Yep, I do have all the old bills. So I can show her evidence. No, the water bill probably won't go up, but the gas will.
The other problem is the lateness of the noise. Rude to be awake until after 2 am. because of them. She is a cook at a local hospital so she has lots of different schedules including weekend work, but so do I and I really don't party but that's because I live with my son. tee hee
I would like to thank you for the helpful suggestions. I also appreciate your support. I was beginning to think that I was complaining for no good reason. I suppose that is because of my lack of sleep. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:36:47 PM | | yna6, too funny. I especially enjoyed the gag joke. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:47:22 PM | If they are that vocal, maybe you should get out your toys and join them, although your not in the same room with them...
Or maybe record them and when you have a chance, let her listen to what you have to listen to... | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:57:12 PM | Your tenant means it's your place. Give her a month's notice and find someone a little quieter.
Or, tell her your concerns and work with her to find an amiable solution. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:22:01 PM | Just tell her in an apologetic way (as if you are embarassed for her) that the noise from her, ahem, business, is keeping you up.
Also, change your hot water's temperature. It will save on gas bills to heat it.
If she does not become more considerate, you can probably evict her for her disruption. Check your local laws governing landlord and tenant issues first as you must abide strictly by the laws regarding notices, reasons for eviction, etc. You normally cannot simply evict someone and get someone else in without a reason. And you have to be careful because until her move date, she can make things very expensive for you in terms of the utilities you cover. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:54:46 PM | | 45 minute shower is ridiculous - tell her if her wants to do that they can pay the bill | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 2:42:59 AM | I had this situation except it was in a commercial apartment and we were both tenants on opposite sides of a wall. After a few nights of being kept awake with the noise, I simply waited until the "climax" and then applauded loudly and cheered.
I never heard the sounds again.  | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 8:48:23 AM | I would think the simple and obvious solution would be to discuss it with her? And maybe point out that her rent will have to increase if there are 2 of them?
Did you have any ground rules when she moved in about 'visitors'?
I think I would say I dont mind him staying, but either she or he will have to contribute to the extra costs of housing an extra person if he wants to use the facilites there.
Offer to work out a generous rate for him seems how he's not there the whole time.
That puts the onus back on her to have a quiet chat with this boyfriend, or others she might have over. It establishes ground rules.
Re noise? Over breakfast pretend to read an article (out loud) on how 40% of women fake orgasms and great sex to cover up if they feel their SO has a little weener and cant satisfy them. How about that? Gosh I never realised...... (followed by a long silence and you looking guilty like you just put your foot in it) Then grin and say sorry. Look guilty.
Next time they make noise....LAUGH and make it seem like you are trying not to?
That oughta do it :) | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 3:38:18 PM | We can raise rent in this county if someone moves in and the utilities are paid by the landlord. That's definitely an option. I just hate having this problem. Utilities go up and the rent doesn't. I feel so fortunate to be in the position to have a tenant in the first place. It's great actually. It's almost like having a roommate that you don't have to see. Sometimes I ask myself, "whatever made me think that I could be a landlord?". But I do have this small problem, and I must face it. I just don't want to be too impetuous and say something that would ruin my good fortune.
Thanks for all the funny stuff about the noise. I love it. I really did laugh out loud. It's so much fun to make jokes about something that annoys us. Laughter is truly a leveler. I knew when I wrote this that my fellow POFers would come up with some good ones and you haven't let me down. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 3:58:13 PM | I would also agree to have a talk with her. Explain the extra expense of the times the boyfriend is there. I was once in the position of your tenant, while renting years ago.
My landlady came to talk to me, when my then boyfriend was spending many nights at my place. She calmly explained to me the extra expenses of an additonal person, and we agreed upon an amount to add to the rent. In time he moved in with me, and she was fine with that as well, because we had already been contributing to her increased utilities. But ofcourse I went to ask her about it first.
As far as the noisy sex in the middle of the night. Maybe she doesnt realize you can hear her. If she knew you could, she would probably be embarrassed and it would stop. (or atleast ease up)
Maybe if you turned your music up loud when they turned their lovemaking up loud, she would realize your are trying to drown something out. Nothing would need to be said, she would get the hint and hopefully quiet down the marathons or atleast stuff a pillow in her mouth. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 4:13:57 PM | I used to be a night motel (hell) auiditor I used to carry a radio shack 10 channel scanner when I had dopers in the motel dealing and I wanted to get rid of them I'd sneak around their rooms hide under a car(not there's) and blast the scanner most of them left their phone deposit $$$$$$ for me..The loud sex partners I would tape with my trusty little tape player and when they wouldn't admit to being loud I'd play it back for them..The trick was to keep a straight face..While playing it back to them..Most of them called me a sick sob and I'd say "Yea soooo this isn't you?" Acouple of them actually wanted the tape...Can you imagine sick people wanting a recording of someone else doing the deed..My 2 favorites was this older woman and young built stud...She sounded like a cow this loud echoing growning moan it was friggen loud I could have taped it from my office..The other was these 2 young gay gals spanking each other they were very embarrassed I charged them 50.00 bucks for the tape when they were pulling away I said real loud "I made copies.." They were pissed..Hey when you see an oppturnity you gotta go for it..Just don't get caught. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/5/2007 4:50:21 PM | | I have to say my eyes nearly popped out of my head at the last reply! | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:55:23 PM | | ~~~Byrd~~~too funny that you actually did all those things!!!! Usually, I just talk about doing stuff like that to level my emotions. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:55:48 PM | I hate to side against you here....
But if the only troubling behavior that your tenant is exhibiting is having sex, and taking long showers.... you probably shouldn't complain haha. Imagine if your tennat had a real passion for playing death metal on his/her guitar at 4am. Imagine if he/she used drugs in the house. Imagine if he/she accidentally forgot to put out a cigarette and burned down your house.
I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with the gal, but the golden rule with any landlord/tenant relationship is not to get personal. If her wild sex is keeping you awake, give her a ring some night at about 2:00 am during her sex session. When she answers say "Sorry to bother you, but I am hearing a lot of strange noises and screaming... I nearly called the police. Are you okay?" Thus letting her know that you can hear her without having to put yourself in an awkward position.
P.S. If you kick her out, can I move in? I never get laid, so you don't have to worry about the noise.... and I certainly don't shower. (do you think the two might be related?) On the downside, you may hear me chuckling to myself as I read your POF posts at 2am. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/6/2007 9:21:55 PM | | Well I had a good friend that was a cop and he taught me alot..I have had neighbors though that made me think twice about playing tricks on them of course temptation and anger usually takes over after awhile... | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/7/2007 7:19:49 AM | ~~~~coolestname~~~~Glad to hear the other side of the argument. That's why I like the forums. I don't always have to be right.
I did have a drug dealer up there. I had to evict him. No, he didn't play death metal, he played rap, the angry kind. He started partying at midnight and would usually go until 7 or 8 am. I had to quit my job because of lack of sleep. Plus, he hated me and would ring my doorbell at 4 am just to make sure I was awake. They partying did a lot of damage to my house, but the worst part was that I lived here alone and was threatened with all sorts of stuff. Of course, I won out in the end, but not with a lot of worry and fear.
She is a great tenant except for her f***fests as I so lovingly call them. I know it sounds ridiculous but the sound of the shower is what bothers me most. If you have ever lived in an older home, you would understand how loud it is downstairs when the water is running upstairs. No, I don't neighbor with her. Sometimes it is months before I see her.
I am sorry that you aren't getting laid. tee hee Don't be afraid of water, it only makes you wet. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/7/2007 9:41:19 AM | | I had this neighbor a few years ago had dogs that chased my cats and he never apologized it used to really piss me off, his dogs would crap all over the yard and he would never clean it up so one day.......I gathered all the dog crap I could find it was a nice little pile, I put it all around this bush on his sidewalk in frount of his house..He was wearing his softball uniform where he walked around the corner and stepped right in the middle of it sliding across the sidewalk into the pile of crapola...I was watching between the blinds of my window and I was stoned I laughed so hard I cried...Not too long after this someone told me that the guy was suspected in a couple homicides he was very dangerous and to never turn my back on him..Boy! that was scarey but not long after that he was arrested and hauled off to the pokey I haven't seen him since. | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/7/2007 10:51:57 AM | .
'somethin bout Sally' wrote in Msg 6: No, it's the boyfriend taking the long showers. She actually usually takes ones that last from 10-15 minutes. I could see if they were in there together, but nope, it was just him.
'somethin bout Sally' wrote in Msg 21: If you have ever lived in an older home, you would understand how loud it is downstairs when the water is running upstairs. No, I don't neighbor with her. Sometimes it is months before I see her.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting this.
When I was going to U of T, I used to have a snoopy landlady too. But she only did her snooping when I wasn't in my apartment. I resented the invasion of privacy, so I thought up a few ways to discourage her. Had to be legal, but shocking enough to keep her from returning. Not quite horrific enough to give her a fatal heart attack, but, well, you get the idea! I don't want to narrate the whole thing, but "the final solution" could be called "The case of the disappearing (& reappearing) pet tarantula".
Switching Sides: If I were in your situation, I'd start with the type of friendly (but firm) polite discussion that others have mentioned. I'd really prefer to leave it up to her to think of a way to still have a sex life without interfering with the sleeping habits of you or your son. Maybe a "no showers or noise after 11 PM" rule could be mutually agreed on (rather than imposed).
If it ever happened again, I'd resort to causing embarrassment, as others have suggested. Banging on wall/ceiling, phone call, knocking on door, loud recorded laughter/applause, whatever... timed to coincide with the 'climax'. Be imaginative.
If that didn't stop it, I'd get serious. Starting with brushing up on legally valid reasons for eviction, local bylaws against noise at night, overnight guests on the one tenant lease...
I'd save making things very "uncomfortable" for your tenant (without breaking the law yourself) as a last resort.
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:23:41 PM | regarding the sex issue... I think you have to accept that as it is. It's rather difficult to persuade someone they have to regulate their sexual behaviour because she screams. Hell... have your own fvckfest... or, at the least... crank up the volume on some great porn movies.... let her believe it's you and wait for her to complain
As far s the water heater is concerned, I would recommend you place the temperature settings rather low... he'll get out soon enough.... men hate shrinkage  | |
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| Rude Tenant
Posted: 10/7/2007 6:12:12 PM | | I think u just need to take it as it happens, because she is entitled to shower, and screw simply put, and your complaining about it will probably just make the situation worse and be an embarresement, if it were me i would probably just ignore it unless it became an ongoing thing, then if it wasnt prevented give a fair reasonable three month notice. | |
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