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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 2:38:55 PM | | I think sometimes is a self protection thing. Deep down we know that long distance relationships dont tend to work and so therefore we know that it wont be anything more than chatting 99% of the time, saving getting hurt in the future. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 2:58:03 PM |
Yes . have you ever heard the phrase "Dont shite on your own doorstep" ?
Absolutely!
Women dont want you to be able to see another guys car outside her house, and when she dumps you the last thing she wants is you snivelling on her doorstep when she's trying to get her groove on.
Calling all men players is just a cover. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 3:08:02 PM | Sods law this is........
It seems i get on better majority of the time with blokes miles away! lol
I prefer someone close to me, but you can't help who you're drawn to can you? it just happens.
But, distance can be a killer....unfortunately.....no matter if anyone says 'for the right person it wouldn't be a problem' well that's just it isn't it! lol
Not as if can pop into their house, or they can get to you quick if something serious happened either.
However, had a relationship with someone who didn't live all too far away really, and we had the best time together. If circumstances were different, and it was the right time, it would've worked  | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 3:24:04 PM | Hi ,
reasonable distance isn't an issue for me personally. I'd consider up to 50 miles (one way) but if it was weekend visits, then a greater distance shouldn't be a problem. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 4:29:13 PM | | The guys local to me I know and they're not for me. The best relationship I've had was with a guy near on 80 miles away. It wasn't because he was that far away...hell no! I wished we were closer. It's just he was the first guy I've connected with in a very long time. | |
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fem38
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Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 10 | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/11/2007 4:42:43 PM | Population of bedford:
AGE Total Male Female
20 - 24 9221 4467 4754
25 - 29 10439 5056 5383
30 - 34 11440 5750 5690
35 - 39 11459 5939 5520
40 - 44 10402 5295 5107
45 - 49 9455 4771 4684
50 - 54 10321 5158 5163
55 - 59 8197 4124 4073
Roughly 50.000 men... and you think none of them fit your bill?
Hope you do the lottery. | |
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Wafta
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Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 14 | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:03:39 AM |
is it becouse of fear of who your going to get in contact with so close to home?
Well it's a possibility yes, if i was on here to date it still wouldn't be too much of an issue except for that fact the realisation is you wouldn't be able to see them as often as you would if the person was more local to you. Maybe this is something some women prefer?
is it becouse they know that they are just after a laugh and stimulation?
I don't any women that wouldn't be attracted to someone who has a sense of humour regardless of distance.
or is it becouse they lack confidence about themselves?
I'm not sure where confidence about themselves comes into this.. because regardless of where someone lives if you are on here to date the chances are at some point you are going to want to meet up... I guess some men and women are self conscious about the way they look but not who they are as a person.
or have i missed something else?
The distance thing can be a positive thing for some as usually both parties take more time to get to know each other before plunging into a meet or getting together... Distance can create this.... which gives you time to get to know each others little quirks and gives you more of a reality check if it's gonna work as friends or otherwise... | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:16:22 AM | id have to fully agree with the op,locally no one seems interested in mailing,its like theres a freakin postal strike on,and the ones i chat to,well im happy i do,ive done long distance ,ive dated closer,as queens of the stone age would say...........go with the flow.......... | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 12:21:05 AM | The people I chat to are all over the country.
The dates I've had, one local, one 150 miles away.
Neither was conscious choices based on their distance from my home.
I've had two long distance relationships, both failed but for different reasons. Distance was a contributory factor, not the main reason for the failure.
I'll continue to chat to whoever catches my eye. If anything more comes of it, that's fab, if not I have a cyber-friend that I'll meet sooner or later. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:22:47 AM | for the first 3 years of being single, all my dting and relationships were with people who lived at least an hour's driving distance away...
at first, i thought it was because it gave me the space i liked...lomg distance usually only entails weekend visits (because of work) so that meant i had all week to myself, it was also, in a weird way, and ego boost that a guy was prepared to travel that far to see me every weekend, and there was the added bonus that if it all went tit's up they weren't likely to turn up on my doorstep, or i wasn't likely to bump into them with someone new.
i have recent;y come to the conclusion though that for me, it was a mental barrier. i wasn't ready for a full on, day to day relationship, so distance was the perfect compromise..i knew the chances of it working out long term were pretty slim, so i could always kid myself that i was ready, but without the risk - does that make sense?
the thought of dating anyone who lived within 'dropping in for a cuppa' distance frightened the shit out of me! maybe it's a control thing? i knew the ones from miles away couldn't do that so everything had to be planned, whereas the ones who lived close by could just drop in if they were passing which meant that i had no control over it? i don't know...
i know though, that it was about my readiness for a full time, full on relationship. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 3:48:04 AM | Interesting thread, but I have only really been interested in men who live relatively close to me, though I do chat to people around the country.
Current squeeze lives 50-60 miles away, which I dont think is a huge problem. We can make time for each other at weekends, and during the week- it is not really a problem to drive over, just means an earlier start in the morning. Fortunately I have flexi-time at work. It means we both have the time and space to continue with our lives, he does his things, I do mine...we meet when we want to.
I think that is fairly healthy in the early stages, later- who knows. | |
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Wafta
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Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 21 | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:04:57 PM | Well I suppose if you have a date and its a total disaster you can use the distance as an excuse and they're not likely to turn up unexpectedly on your doorstep. Actually that's not quite true. I met a guy in Greece when I was younger, holiday fling, nothing more. He lived in Manchester, I lived in Swindon at the time. 2 months later he turned up on my doorstep. Aaarrgh! Obviously a drunken exchange of addresses I had no recollection of! | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:33:33 PM | That's the problem with a national site though, isn't it? If the hotties are all miles away, then you're stuffed.
I haven't been particularly inspired by any of my matches recently.... | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:35:52 PM | Personally, if I look for interesting fellas, tend to look 25-30 miles away from home. I have had a long distance relationship (hour there), and it can work, but its hard work. I would do it for the right person.
However, I would much rather meet someone that I can pop in for coffee with, or vice versa. I don't have anything to hide, and I wouldn't feel out of control.
I have had messages from guys further afield, and whilst I will message to be polite, I also tell them that I am looking for someone nearer to home, and that I don't think it would work out. I try to be as honest and open about it as I can be. | |
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