| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 2:21:07 PM | After watching people interact in social settings and in my own life, I’m slowing coming to an interesting conclusion. Men look for a reasons to get involved with a woman. But, women look for reasons NOT to get involved with a man.
Ii seems to me, when a woman meets a man for the first time she starts testing him to see if she can find something wrong with him. If he fails to pass one or more of these tests he out the door, nexted. But, if she can’t come up with a reason not to get involved with him, she will. In fact, if he passes all of her tests quickly and with a high enough score she may even seduce him.
Am I wrong? | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 2:49:07 PM | mmmm. I can only speak for myself, but I mainly just pay attention to whether or not I feel like I am "clicking" with a guy. If I am, I hope he is too.
Not so complicated. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 2:52:17 PM | | I have also watched men and women alike in social settings and I have found that maybe men are trying to hard to impress the attractive women thus making them suspicious. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 3:00:16 PM | Good post OP. Every man I've ever met has been "on trial" in my eyes so to speak..and they've been found "guilty" on every count. ah, well.
Thank god for Judge Judy. 
Sans. Men are great as pro-creators but suck at knowing what a healthy relationship regarding a "lifetime" entails. at least I have my cats to teach me to not give a damn anymore about anyone..god.. I love my ultra intelligent felines!! | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 3:08:22 PM | | Interesting. I don't, but then again, I fall on the "guy" side of most MOs that are divided along gender lines. Maybe I should take the time to ask myself why I shouldn't get involved with the next guy I get interested in. Thanks for the suggestion. :) | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 3:16:44 PM | hmmmm to an extent I believe you may have a case.
In almost every social situation I have been in the random approaching men involved would have been incompatible for me either personality-wise, physically, intellectually, or drunk.
The only card that a guy could pull that would increase his chances if physical attributes were less than desired is the financial one, and that is not easy in those circumstances without coming off like a braggart, hence lower his intellectual and personality value. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:03:43 PM | Good Question.. But in my experience it is the opposite for me.. I find more men that want to find reasons for not dating someone.. Than women do. I mean sometimes it was like going thru an interragation.[sp]..
Truthfully I have 3 tests a man has to pass.. They are really silly ones also..
He has to get alone with my dog.. Since we are a package deal.
He has to enjoy playing. Water fights are the best way to find out.
He has to pass me being Captian on my boat.
As far as seducing him.. Well that is totally a mutual thing so I am not sure who is seducing who. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 4:10:31 PM | | People with options look for reasons NOT to get involved with someone. The phenomenon isn't necessarily gender specific. Start dating a lot to increase your options and you'll quickly find you're the one weeding out women. Above all things, women want what other women want. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 9:11:25 PM |
Sans. Men are great as pro-creators but suck at knowing what a healthy relationship regarding a "lifetime" entails. at least I have my cats to teach me to not give a damn anymore about anyone..god.. I love my ultra intelligent felines!!
Aaaaahhhhh! Yes spoken like a true pessimist 
Ii seems to me, when a woman meets a man for the first time she starts testing him to see if she can find something wrong with him
some Women seem to suffer from the illusion that they are good at fixing things(men) it's a challenge for them. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 9:21:46 PM | | I don't think it's true. I think it all boils down to chemistry. If you are with someone that you just aren't attracted to, it's not going to go anywhere. If you are attracted to someone, and find out he is a complete loser, for whatever reason, then you figure out that you don't want to be involved with him. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 9:23:50 PM |
women look for reasons NOT to get involved with a man.
In a weak attempt of defending us women, I submit the following:
Our ancestors ingrained it in our biology that men are to bring us the kill. We are to prepare it, salt it, store it cook it. But first we evaluate it for worthiness. If it is unworthy we tell them, so they hunt better next time. Better hunting = better living. Better cave finding = better living. Better genetics = better offspring.
So maybe it's ingrained and we can't help it? Or maybe women are just as confused as men and it seems like we show it by looking for their flaws. If that's the case, then how do MEN show THEIR confusion? | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 10:51:25 PM | There have been a lot of thoughtful posts in this! Thanks for the input.
As KfromKali suggested, I to think it’s genetic. I feel that people are born knowing how to attract and choose a partner, but all this social programming BS gets in the way. At least in the good ol USA where gender rolls are a little confused. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/13/2007 11:09:06 PM | I freely admit to asking searching questions when I meet someone new. I think there's a fine balance between giving someone a fair chance and wasting their time, for men and women. Being honest and open about who you are and what you're looking for can keep someone from getting their hopes up when you aren't compatible. I appreciate it when I get tough questions back, too. And yes, I have seduced someone who passed this test. I once dated someone with a terrible stutter, and he patiently worked through a thought provoking conversation, which impressed me into a mattress.  | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 12:09:35 AM | | OP thats an interesting thought,and although I can't stereotype everyone,theres alot of truth there.I find many times the girl has many hoops for me to jump through and many levels of criteria to pass to make the grade.With me, if I am attracted, I try to accept almost everything to make sure she passes,pretty simple,I help her through all the way,bend a few rules here and there to make it happen and when its the opposite sometimes it seems I'm all alone on this path,my thought is "come on,just throw me a bone" like I'm teetering on a tightrope wondering if she could care less whether I succeed or not....................years ago,I was at a club and at the table next to me were three very fine ladies and for 20 minutes kept making comments of how fine this one guy was that was like 3 tables away,those girls had a lot to say about this guy,and alot was rated R and at times XXX.I kept thinking if somehow this guy got wise to this table he could have his pick of any of the three,no rings on their fingers girls,a magic situation,finally the guy gets up because the girls keep looking ,he strolls over,says hello and asks if one would enjoy a dance,they changed the looks on there face from the 20 prior minutes of the "seduction look" to the" talk to the hand" look by the time he hit the table.He asked very polite,no prowling going on,seemed nice,and one girl rather than answer him,started laughing and then turned around ,her back to him,and they all started talking to each other like he hadn't asked them anything,he then tucked his tail between his legs and went back to his table deflated....blew me away,wonder what criteria ruled him out,it showed me how ladies could be absolutely turned on by you and in complete awe with you,and it still be an unachieveable situation | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 1:15:46 AM | Perfectly logical argument "K" 
<div class="quote"> In a weak attempt of defending us women
<div class="quote">
A good man needs a good woman to keep him on his toes,
even if Clinton had different ways of achieving that:-)
Personally I'm only interested in one thing when I meet someone
for the first time and that is "how I feel" in their company and that
answers all my questions ... the reasons for the feelings soon
manifest themselves. Mind you the other day at the supermarket
a lady offered me her trolley ... I declined, saying: "It's okay I'm
only after one thing" ... and as I walked away I heard her mutter:
"Just like a man" | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 2:02:46 AM | maybe it's because women are more capable of looking beyond just the physical...those that are looking for more than just sex anyhow...whereas men tend to get blinded & think that pretty face..big boobs= perfect woman.... | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 2:12:55 AM | Women look for reasons NOT to get involved with a man ?
Obviously, they are NOT very good at it.
Judging by the stories on POF, I suggest they keep practicing till they get it right . | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 3:08:45 AM | | From what I have noticed alot of women are the opposite give a guy opportunities then watch him screw up. depends on how much attraction they hold toward you depends on how forgiving of said screw up. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 4:10:26 PM | Monemperer,
The way you put it is pretty accurate from my POV.
Not sure if you mean it in a negative sense. I see it positive that women are forgiving. Not then aren't also of course. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 4:24:59 PM | | Me too OP,I saw it as an accurate observation,not negative or positive,just that it is !....good eye.I also liked KfromKali point of view how man and woman are somewhat hardwired as to how a man or a woman is,no offense if I'm explaining your point not that well,but I do think we as beings instintively do certain things just as the other creatures out there do. | |
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| A question about the way women think about men.
Posted: 10/14/2007 4:35:15 PM | I call it approach...Men and women do it differently as do different people.
If I comment purely from the male/female standpoint on ur observation OP.
Men approach and seduce and then figure out reasons to not be involved.
I look for reasons before I approach or consider seducing.
Im not interested in seducing a man just for the sake of it, personally I dont think its the "right" thing to do, however alot of men will seduce a woman without thinking obviously for the sex.
Causes alot of problems when the man has seduced then changed his mind to No, while the woman has made up her mind beforehand with a Yes.
When weighing up that seduction is a man including himself in a womans personal space, emotions & physical body without any forethought, its generally considered taking advantage of someone....Thats how alot of men get labelled users & players.
Neither men nor women want to be used or feel used. | |
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