| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:10:20 PM | I'm new to the Forums......just recently *realized* there were here. I hope this type of thread hasn't been done before, but here's a recent experience of mine about 2 months ago......
So....I met a woman on Match. (not this site!!) (btw, I'm letting my Match subscription run out! 
We trade e-mails for about 2 weeks. She has daughters (so do I), so scheduling an initial meetup was a little tricky. But, ON PAPER, everythings seems good......GREAT, in fact!
We plan a date for a particular Saturday eve.......in a quaint, rustic town of Middleburg, VA.
In the remaining days that pass before the date, we start IMing each other and *seem* to get to know each other. Likes/Dislikes/Desires/Dreams/Goals are all shared. Again, she seemed (on paper!) like a true beauty. I was really looking forward to the date!
Saturday morn arrives, and I go to work. My Blackberry is out in my car, and unbeknownest to me, she sent a few e-mails during the day........when I got to my car about 5pm, I read her e-mails:
1) she said she rented a room the B&B we were dining at. She said due to the rain (and it *was* raining cats and dogs) she didn't feel comfortable driving home that night after dinner. I thought this a little weird, but ok, I can understand someone not wanting to traverse the back "country" roads in heavy downpour......
2) she also said that I should look for someone with MUCH longer hair than her picture. Her picture had neck length hair......she NOW said her hair was 1/2 way down her back! Uh Oh! To my new info and thinking, that's AT LEAST a 5 year old photo!! What do I do?
A room? A 5 year old photo? What gives?
I drive up there in heavy downpour......allthewhile, I'm thinking maybe getting a room is NOT such a bad idea after all. The roads were seriously trecherous!
I went to the front desk at the restaurant (the front desk is for the B&B and the restaurant). A note says I'm supposed to meet my date back at the cottage. A little weird, I thought, but with umbrella in hand, I make my way back. I knock on the cottage door........
Who is it?
It's Kevin (that's me!)......hello? Are you ready?
The door swung open........
There, before me.......
Stood.......
A
Totally......
NUDE Woman!
My jaw dropped! I was in utter shock! I swear! I could not believe my eyes! Not only this, but in an instant, I concluded that the photo she sent me was AT LEAST **TEN** years OLD! And about 120 pounds different!!
So........before me stood a NUDE woman that *may* have been larger than ME!
And......I quickly realized, was TOTALLY drunk!!
My e-mail to her the next day (YES, I left that night!): "Not interested anymore."
Her reply back (probably after MUCH embarressment): "Well......me neither!)
Mookie | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/16/2007 6:24:42 PM | I think if that would have happened to me I would be shocked and angry for having to drive through all that and then being deceived..and size of women is not the issue even if she were slima nd hot it's not right!  | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:02:05 PM | Mookie
Toooooooo funny! Bless you for giving me the best laugh of the day ..... and trust me I have lots ....... I enjoy the humour of just inter-reacting with people and your experience was a topper!!! | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:06:39 PM | Further to my last response to you!
Have to tell you ....... after I have met a few gentlemen on this site ..... and it is agreed that we are not going to be the MATCH FROM HEAVEN ..... we relax and just enjoy a nice friendly chat ... and share some wonderful stories about our experiences ..... finding the person that will make our hearts swell! The one thing I have learned .......... KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR! | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:37:08 PM | I'm one of those guy's that was 15 pounds to heavy to be a jockey and 200 pounds too light to be a sumo wrestler. I always dated small women so I can be the bigger person in a relationship. When I started on this site I learned quick that explaining I like women tiny, wasn't enough. I started just askting what size they wore. If they were 5' 3" and wore a size 12, it was pretty sure there was no point in making a trip to meet them. I also learned to eliminate the prospects that are back at the gym so they can get into their size 6 pants this summer!
i always wonder if the women with the "men are a**holes, they only like tiny women" posts are women that talked too men like me. Not everybody's honest when describing themself ladies. We don't mean to be rude, but why drag it on and build up hope, to realize the person you're meeting is nothing like we are attracted to! | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:23:07 AM |
Yeah, but did you do her?
NO WAY!!
But when I got in my car, I immediately started calling everyone I knew to tell them this story!
Anybody else have horror stories!?!? Let's keep this thread alive!
Mookie | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:25:08 AM |
Ha ha thanks for the laugh.. So funny.... Do you usually have that kind of effect on women??
I'm still tryin' to figger out if I had a good effect or BAD effect! | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 1:44:02 PM | okay.. I'll add a story...
Met a man at a coffee shop... I could tell he was nervous.. foot tapping, the works.
He started to talk, and did not stop.
After about 10 minutes, I started to see the humour in it and decided to not even try to contribute to the conversation, I just listened.
One hour and fifteen minutes later, without needing to contribute a single word, I finally interrupted and declared that I had to leave.
He said and I quote, "You're not going to see me again, are you?"
I had assumed he was just nervous, and he seemed a genuine kinda kinda guy, so I asked him in good humour and with a wink.. "Think you could relax if we did this again?"
He seemed genuinely surprised at my question.. and when I explained "why" I'd said it, he told me in all seriousness that he was always like that.
He contacted me a few more times, but I knew it would not work and told him so.
A few days later he sent me a picture of himself, totally naked.
Wow!! Impressive!
I guess he figured it might help me change my mind!
Silly man.
B. | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 2:02:29 PM | holy gaucamole!!! how come that shit never happens to me?? i would have figured ...well im here now and though she lied....iv got nothing better to do for the rest of the evening!
so your expectations were dashed unique , i suggest next time your planning on meeting a woman from the net ,that in order to not have any mix up's with the true likeness of her picture when you areon IM if possible if she has a webcam , ask to see her....or get many pictures from her , don't just rely on one. | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:30:56 PM | OHHHH MYYYY... dunno if I should offer this up or not! Was soo embarassing ~ but what the heck, none of you know me (yet).
A couple weeks ago, I met up with someone I had seen a few times before. I was in my usual coffee shop 'haunt' and he was coming in as I was going out. I invited him over to my place for some coffee (yes, simply the warm, dark liquid served in a mug, nothing more, nothing less). I told him I have my son's dog there, a doberman, but she was very friendly. He accepted.
About 1/2 an hour later, we had drank more coffee than either of us really needed, and he started playing around with Jen, the dog. She has a tendancy to get all worked up and plays rough at times. She was getting a little too rambunctious, so I grabbed her by the collar to pull her off of him... as she turned to come away......
yep......
she blew gas in his face.
Now I don't know what my son had been feeding her prior to bringing her to my place, but that dog REEKED (well, her explosion from her hiney did)!
Poor Geoff gagged, I gagged, and Jen just non-chalantly sniffed her hind end.
I usually hear from Geoff once a week... but it's been a couple weeks now..... | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:28:19 PM | I went out with a guy for 3 weeks who needed a breathing machine of some sort to sleep. I did not judge him for his disability because initially, I thought he was a good person. I stayed at his house one night and he informed me that if he turned it off (the machine)--during the night he could die. But to be POLITE, he would turn it off if the noise of it bothered me; and kept me from sleeping.
Of course I said NO! I would not interfere with his medical treatment. After our relationship ended so horribly I wondered why I did not take him up on his original offer.  | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:30:13 PM | OMG, there was another one my daughter reminded me of a bit ago. I met a guy from CraigsList, age 51, who seemed like a nice enough person. We met for coffee, and he seemed really sweet, had a responsible job, and talked like he was sane. He called one day and asked if I wanted to get together, watch some movies, have a couple drinks, some snacks. I told him I had promised my daughter and her boyfriend I would watch movies with them, but he was welcome to join us. He said he would bring the 'treats' and even a movie. Cool.... seemed great to me.
He got to my place, all smiles, smelled nice, and brought in this 'cooler' filled with ice, and soft drinks, some beer and chip dip. He brought chips, popcorn and not one, but SIX movies (said he wanted us to have a choice). OK, that's fine too. We put chips in bowls, opened the dip, popped open some soft drinks for my daughter & her beau, a Rolling Rock for me, and he made a mixed drink from a bottle of whiskey he'd brought. We were about 1/2 way through the first movie and he was on his 3rd drink. At this point I decide he will have to sleep on my couch, can't be responsible for him driving under the influence. He excused himself to go to the bathroom. He comes out, and sits next to me, and proceeds to dump the french onion chip dip on my new pink silk blouse! He said he was sorry, he meant to get it on my nose (huh?). I went in my bedroom and changed my top. By this time the guy can't seem to stop talking... and began to toss insults at my daughter. She knew he was getting drunk, and being 18, she gave back as good as she got from him (or as bad as she got, lol). I went into the bathroom, and discovered he had peed all over my floor in there.... grrrrrrrr!!!
I came out and he held up his glass and said "Get me another drink ****".... I calmly turned off the movie, my daughters b/f dragged out the foam matt I have, my daughter threw down some pillows, and I got a blanket. I then said, if you are sober enough to make another drink for yourself, go for it. I'm going to bed, and you can sleep there" ... pointing to the matt. We left him alone at that point. I went to my bedroom and closed the door, then pushed my dresser in front of the door. No less than 3 times did I hear my door knob tried. Glad I have a pretty heavy dresser. I got up at 6 am, and he was gone. He emailed me several times afterward, wanting to know why I wouldn't email back, or accept his phone calls. Finally I told him why: "You pissed all over my bathroom, insulted my daughter, ruined my silk blouse, called me a **** when you wanted a drink, and tried to come uninvited to my bedroom. Why SHOULD I stay in touch?"
A couple of weeks later, he emailed me again, and apologized, said he was now in a AA program and wanted to know if I could forgive him and be friends. I gave it a couple days thought, and replied that we could be friends, just not close friends, and to get in touch again when he has 6 months sober.
Dunno if that's a FUNNY date story, or a date from hell story, lol!!! | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/18/2007 6:10:35 AM |
My e-mail to her the next day (YES, I left that night!): "Not interested anymore."
Her reply back (probably after MUCH embarressment): "Well......me neither!)
haha man, you're so lucky I only had the coffee cup up to my lips when I read teh end of that and didn't have a mouthful of the sweet hot brew yet, otherwise that would have been a spit take to remember. | |
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| Funny Dating Stories....... :laugh:
Posted: 10/18/2007 6:51:50 AM |
......to get in touch again when he has 6 months sober.
Dunno if that's a FUNNY date story, or a date from hell story, lol!!!
No, that qualifies as a date from hell story! Did he as least leave some whiskey for you to enjoy later? | |
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