| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/24/2007 12:17:59 PM | | I am needing some ideas how to put the passion and romance back into our relationship. He works alot and is gone quite a bit. The sex is amazing, but I am missing the spark that we had when we first met. I love him to pieces, but I miss the fun flirty seduction that happened between us when we first met. How do I get that back? | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 2 | |
| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/24/2007 12:28:19 PM | " but i am missing the spark that we had when we first met"
Op if you're looking for that fresh and new spark you might be looking for a very long time. Nothing you do will recapture that spark of when you first met.
Create new memories, find ways to create new sparks. We can't tell you how to go about it, we don't know you or your SO likes or dislikes. Maybe you can surprise him with a very romantic candlelight dinner, when he has come home from one of his trips. Meet him at the door dressed in saran wrap, Only you know what turns your guy on, so you know what to do to put that "spark" back in your relationship. Just use your imagination OP.
By the way, i get the impression that this relationship is fairly new, How long have you been in a relationship with this guy? | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/24/2007 12:52:37 PM | | thanks for you input.. I am glad that we have grown together.. and we are looking at this as a long term commitment. We have been together for 2 years.. but the moment we met each other we knew that we were soul mates. We have both been married before so we have been cautious, but our relationship is stable, loving, strong and the communication is amazing. Perhaps it is just me wanting the romance.. the seduction.. I have done the saran thing.. and I recommend it to anyone to try.. just don't stay in it too long.. sweaty! I do want new sparks.. I want sparks all the time.. perhaps I am asking way too much.. lol | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:39:59 AM | | I think what was said above is true. You know your man. But I think if you do something he wouldn't expect at all is the trick. We can all be creative just use your imagination it will come to you. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:23:58 AM | | I don't think there's much to add to what the above posters have said. Maybe if you haven't gotten away for a while, a weekend trip or short vacation away from your every day life may help to rekindle those sparks. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:26:36 AM | I think it will be kind of hard to get back the "fun, flirty seduction" as you call it. Those are things that happen at the beginning of a relationship.
Sounds kind of silly, but you could try a role-play. You could pretend you don't know each other and secretly meet somewhere and have him "pick you up" or vice versa, so to speak. You can make this scenario as elaborate as you want.... Use your imagination.
Passion and romance however.... I find spending time apart can make things very passionate once the reunion happens. Has to be at least several days however. Taking a trip perhaps, sometimes a change of scenery can really liven things up.
Other than that, it sounds like you have a pretty nice relationship with this guy. Be sure to focus on each other's qualities and what you really like about the other person. Be grateful everyday that you have this great relationship. It is really something to treasure.
Good luck and take care,
Jack | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:42:14 PM | I must be the only one that read her profile !!!
Yeah... adding another woman in you bed is a greeeeat idea !! 
drewwlf | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:49:18 PM | | Just wanted to make some fantasies come true, but it is so so so hard to find someone who is willing to make the effort to explore and experience. Oh well.. my mind has been working overtime with ideas now. Sparks should be flying soon.. I hope!! | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:35:07 PM | | i am only 23 so i do nt really know but i givea guess if it helps . go to ann summers for nice sexy linger and plan out a free nite wen he nt wrking a lot and is round tell himu want him home at a time u have made a romantic dinner and take it from there . hope this is good advice if nt its ok i am only 23 yr old after all. best of luck | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:11:35 PM | First thing I would do is quit trying to cheat on him!!!!!!!!!!
I am involved with the love of my life and not looking to change that. If he is the love of your life then why are you cheating on him????? There is no way of getting back to what you had in the begining. You were in the honeymoon phase, getting to know oneanother and learning what eachother were about, however, there are ways to add a little spice to the relationship. As others have said, plan an outing for just the two of you. It doesn't have to be alot of time it just has to be something special. Maybe you could go back to the place you met and have a first date replay. Find something the two of you could do that would just melt his heart, there are many things you can do that dont have to take alot of time but can mean so much. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:46:30 PM | Re the OPost:
I am merely expressing my view, maybe a tad "crude", but it is merely a view, my view, nothing more.
"I am needing some ideas how to put the passion and romance back into our relationship. "
So the actual topic is "how to RE-spark Romance" not how to spark it in the firstplace.
"He works alot and is gone quite a bit."
Well, for starters, that is a major hurdle, IMO. Why does he work so much? Does he feel pressure to provide more material goods to the relastionship/partnership? Is he wrking much because he finds challenge that is not there in his personal life? Does the OPost work too? Is he as carefree as they first met? If not, why? If the OPost does not already have replies to these questions (no need to post them, tho), how good is the rel actually? In a good rel, the "partners" know this stuff about each other, if communication channels are still open or were ever open between them.
"The sex is amazing, but I am missing the spark that we had when we first met."
That does not add up, IMO.
If it is indeed "amazing", how is it if the "spark" is missing? Either the spark is there or the sex is not amazing, IMO (it may be good, but "amazing" w/o a spark?)
"I love him to pieces, but I miss the fun flirty seduction that happened between us when we first met."
Oh well, was he the Seducer when they met? Is that Real Romance (sounds it was a bit, one sided, a hunter/pursuer and a hunted/pursued)? Does not sound like a balanced Romance, IMO of course, if he was doing all the Romancing!
" How do I get that back?"
Get back the pursued feeling (the OP) or have her BF regain his "hunter" feeling?
Maybe, indeed that is kind impossible to regain, unless he feels he is losing the OP AND he wants to keep her (both). Or role playing, as another poster, suggested, but I am not that sure of the effect. IMO, Eros is bound to fly out of the window one day and when Eros does that, time to move on. But that is my opinion.
Re post 3:
"I am glad that we have grown together.. and we are looking at this as a long term commitment. We have been together for 2 years.. but the moment we met each other we knew that we were soul mates."
Now that does not sound like Romance was what got the two together in the firstplace. Soul Mates is another way, valid, but it is "Romance"? Not so sure.
And that "growth" thing. Does not sound that "romantic" or "erotic" to me, rather planning in nature. And planning, IMO, kills Eros and Romance, IMO of course.
"We have both been married before so we have been cautious, but our relationship is stable, loving, strong and the communication is amazing."
Then one can expect the OP to know the replies to the questions asked in part A of my post.
"Perhaps it is just me wanting the romance.. the seduction.. I have done the saran thing.. and I recommend it to anyone to try.. just don't stay in it too long.. sweaty! I do want new sparks.. I want sparks all the time.. perhaps I am asking way too much.. lol"
Exactly, what does the OP actually miss? Maybe her man is trying/working too hard to provide, to have amazing sex with her in bed, but she (and maybe both) feel that this has turned into a kind of chore? Happens, IMO, when too many factors, plans and worries enter in a rel that as the OP said include so much planning/thinking and even worrying about the future.
Maybe it is time for "back to basics"?
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:15:00 PM | | If you love him to pieces why are you looking for an intimate encounter on POF......so what he works alot and is gone quite a bit does that give you permission to seek out sex somewhere else? I'm not judging you, but definitely throwing out some food for thought. You have some decisions to make before worrying about some sparks flying. Romance is authentic and passion is inspired within.............you cannot possibly begin to regain anything with this man when you're looking elsewhere. It's that simple and until you can honestly give him some fun and flirty seduction I'd say it's your loss, not his. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:28:18 PM | Darn, I had missed that part! ^^^^^
So that is what this post is all about? Geez!
Poor guy. He give her amazing sex and growth together but she wants more!
Soul mating is not enough?
The fantasies need release?
This thread makes me glad I am not in a soul mate, LT oriented, amazing sex but something missing, rel.
Please forget my previous analysis.
The honest solution is not to cheat on the soul mate! Sure, pursue those fantasies, we only live once, but after terminating the soul mate rel.
OMG! | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 6:47:04 PM |
First thing I would do is quit trying to cheat on him!!!!!!!!!!
I could be wrong but I don't think the O.P. is saying that she wants to cheat on her man. If I read her profile right, her man has the fantasy of being with 2 women and she is trying to find a female that is willing to help her make that fantasy come true for him.
The reason why she has "intimate encounter" on her profile is because she is advertising to find a female to have such an encounter with her and her significant other.
O.P. is this correct?
Now with that being said, a word of warning about bringing a 3rd party into the bedroom. It can open doors that are very difficult to get closed. Enough said.
Jack | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:18:23 PM | Ok ok ... we see the profile....
Now any advice?
I'm sure I am spelling this wrong but get a coma sutra book.. Plan how you want it while he is gone...
Plaster a-paris each others body parts... Then make wax replicas...
Each day send each other pic's of body parts....
~BELLY~
p.s. If you ever find the third party, take pic's and send me some...lol | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:13:27 AM | | a hot bath, some candles , romantic music and a bottle of wine always does the trick!!!!!!! | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:57:43 AM | WOW.. didn't think that I would get such a response but I have taken everything everyone has said under advisement. But to defend myself, I AM NOT CHEATING on him.. I never would, never will. We were looking for a FEMALE playmate, but that is falling through as there are more talkers than doers in this world. Also a word of advise for those who were rude and harsh.. don't judge people you don't know, and watch what you say too, as it can be taken as hurtful. I might not have explained myself clearly enough, and for that I am sorry. I appreciate the interest this has generated. I was originally hoping people could give me romantic suggestions.. plain and simple.
For those of you have have answered with long winded anlysis of my situation.. thanks.. you have way too much time on your hands!! | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:42:46 PM | | OP you deserve my apology. On here looking for an intimate encounter for both of you is a different story. Sorry! | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/26/2007 8:04:09 PM | For those of you have have answered with long winded anlysis of my situation.. thanks.. you have way too much time on your hands!!
I know, some people on here are just plain rude! They seem to have no problem tearing someone down...Just for asking a question... Thread bullies!
~BELLY~ | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:09:26 AM | | call him at work and invite him out to dinner, meet him at the restuarant, bring him a single rose, and wear something sexy, flirt with him all through dinner, and treat it as you would a first date. when you get home, open a bottle of wine, keep the conversation away from jobs, kids and everyday life. center all your attention on him, and remind him with body language just how much you still desire him....it should work. good luck. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:42:46 AM | Plan a striptease.Be a french maid,the naughty school teacher,or the local hooker.
Men are very visual creatures.
Great songs to strip to are Closer by Nine Inch Nails and Erotica by Madonna.
Do this for your man,and he won't be able to keep his hands off of you! | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:47:30 AM | | well if you are looking for spark with the love of your life...coming in here looking for an intimate encounter is certainly not a good start. | |
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| How to Spark Romance??
Posted: 10/27/2007 12:42:21 PM | Ok, I'm going to ignor the intimate encounters/cheating issues and go right to the original question and answer it to the best of my ability.
Hot to spark romance? Well, aside from all of the advice already given, I would consider some of the following:
1. Write him a saucy, spicy, erotic letter and send it to him at work.
2. Buy costumes for the two of you and leave his on the bed with detailed instructions to dress, and meet you at a particular hotel bar. Once there, he'll see you, dressed in YOUR costume, looking quite sexy and seductive at the bar. ACT like you don't know one another and he should follow whatever instruction you've laid out for him to 'pick you up'.
3. Wait until he's on the phone with a long time friend or relative and 'play' with him. Get him all hot and bothered, knowing that he CAN'T hang up the phone.
4. Put a blindfold on him, tie him with scarves to the bedpost and explore his body using a myriad of different textures, temperatures, scents, and foods. The key to this is to touch every part of his body EXCEPT his genitals.
Have fun! | |
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I don't think this couple needs any 
at all....
If you need any further counseling we'll be right here....