| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:08:59 PM | I get asked this alot by my family and friends since everyone is married and has kids. I'm 43 and never married...engaged once and been in long term relationships (the longest 7 yrs, the shortest 2).
I date, but am not in a serious relationship at the moment. I enjoy it sometimes! I like my space and am comfortable being alone sometimes.
Do I miss having that special someone around all the time...albeit with us having our separate interests...of course! But I do like having my alone time.
How do you feel about being alone - and not having a significant other in your life - around all the time? | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be alone by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:12:42 PM | | If you had asked me a year ago... I was very lonely and uncomfortable. I hated it. But until that point I had never known anything but a relationship... I'd always had someone in my life. Ask me today, 1 year after I bought a home and lived alone for the first time ever and I say yes, I am. I've been exploring this relationship concept and for the first time in my life I've found myself saying "maybe I don't want one... maybe I just want some sex and nothing more from a man at this point in my life." I'm sick of their drama and them not being able to handle who I am when I get quiet or want to be alone. :) | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be alone by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:13:18 PM | When I was younger...hated it!
Now love it! I so take advantage of this time to do things I have on my to do list, enjoy music, reading, catch up on some tv shows I taped, make some comfort foods and chit chat with friends uninterrupted.
I definitely would much rather have a significant other in my life...and when I do will still have me time and he him time...it will happen again! I know it! | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:28:48 PM | Short term...its not so bad. But now that it has over 2 years since I have been in any kind of relationship, it is getting old.
If I never have another long term relationship, I know I will be alright. but, I admit, I hope that doesnt turn out to be my fate.;) | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:10:52 PM | | I am more than comfortable in myself. I enjoy and need time to myself for I am around people all day at work, and a child still living at home....in fact, I am a little concerned about learning to share my life and space with another adult full time again! I think the correct balance for me at this time would be in a relationship, but still maintaining independence and autonomy....(which is great because that is my reality). | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:17:06 PM | i wonder how many men and women are just like you..SCARED TO SHARE their lives
i wonder how men people our age will ever be married 20 years, or even 15 now because they are afraid to sharew
and i wonder... if u fun to go out with/..... lol and teasing you here
 to all of you | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:17:38 PM | | Yes, and I think it all comes down to knowing yourself and where you fit in with your circle of friends and acquaintances. I wouldn't think of it so much in terms of comfort because that's like just what's familiar, and to me if things are always the same then it becomes stagnant - and that kind of status quo becomes a lot like loneliness. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:22:41 PM | Yes I am comfortable in my own little world. No, I want to be in love. :)
I have been alone on & off for many years. Mostly off. I am comfortable in the world I have now but it can't compare to the feelings of loving someone. I wish I had that again.
I thought I had this last year and I felt like I was 20 years old. Strangers even commented on how happy, youthful & sexy I was. Because I felt that way. It didn't turn out to be something real though.
I get very cynical sometimes but still feel like maybe the love of my life is out there. I don't want to get comfortable being alone, I want someone I can love. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:27:52 PM | How do you feel about being alone - and not having a significant other in your life - around all the time?
~OP~ For the bulk of my adult life I've been alone. I was married for 7 years, but otherwise, mainly just me. Of course, my son was with me until he was out of school, but as for romantic interests, it's been pretty much me. I think today I would have a really tough time being full-time with anyone. I require a LOT of alone time and a LOT of personal space. I have meshed well with one person, who respected that and embraced it, but more often than not, I don't offer enough for most men. My family and friends have stopped asking questions ~ which is a good thing, because the answer is always the same ~ when a man enters my life that can understand me and my need for solice ~ maybe, otherwise, I'm just fine all alone. I do find it perplexing that people worry so much about this. If I were crying or feeling lonely ~ I have close friends who take those feelings away. I guess some are just built different than others. JMO  | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:30:31 PM | I've been on my own for awhile now and I am almost never lonely!! I love my little house, it's cozy for one person. My friends and my pets keep me as busy as I want to be. I really liked being married too, WAY back when, but now I don't 'fear' being alone, it's good too. God will send me my guy when He's good and ready, or maybe when I'M good and ready.... ...till then, loving life as it is!!! | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:30:31 PM | by the way, i don't feel alone or lonely....there's music to play, both cd's and instruments, there's always music to put on and dance to, films to watch, books to read, teenager to hassle (i mean lovingly guide :), there are classes and rehearsals and healing and drum circles and other wonderful things to do.....and, besides, there's all of you here to talk to!
so it's not my life i'm concerned about sharing at all...it's my psychic space......how to be with me and with another...that is the question....truly 'to be, or not to be'. i choose to be with someone who also knows how to just be...in stillness...in presence...to be love...and thankfully i found the one who does. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:37:21 PM | | I go through cycles. I start off needing a relationship and don't get one, then when I decide to be satisfied with what life throws my way, it throws a relationship my way, then when the relationship ends I have the need to be with someone again for a couple months, then it goes away and I get a new relationship and the cycle continues. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:44:06 PM | Agree with all!
I enjoy my alone time and I think some of my friends (and others) might be envious of the fact that I do have the opportunity to come home to an empty home without having to answer to 'what's for dinner, where's the dog, did you wash my soccer uniform, mom, you have to bake 2 doz. cookies for tomorrow's girl scout meeting, honey, I'm horny - let's have sex'.
KIDDING, I would love that all but lets be honest, don't you wish sometimes you can just come home and BREATHE......
I do miss having a man to come home to and men, I'm sure you miss that special woman too! | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:00:44 PM | Maybe I enjoy being alone too much these days... it's a possibility. 
I love the freedom of making decisions without consulting anyone, only cleaning my own bathroom messes, and eating whatever I feel like for dinner without compromising!
I like seeing something I like and deciding whether or not to buy it without a big debate.
I like going to a movie and not having to answer questions, or leave early because he's bored.
I even like taking out my own trash and getting my own car fixed and getting stuff down from the attic because just doing it is a heck of a lot easier than waiting and waiting and reminding... or doing it myself and seething about having to do everything plus his stuff. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:03:06 PM | As the cliche goes, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.
Being lonely has little bearing to how many people are in my life, it's a state of mind concerning things I miss or don't have.
Some people want to be in a relationship because they enjoy the side benefits of being in a relationship. Who they are in a relationship with is not as important. I believe it should be the other way around, who you are in a relationhip with is more important, the side benefits less important.
For me, I equate feeling lonely with being needy, and that's the worst time to get involved with someone, even though it's a likely time. As I think back, my positive relationships started when I wasn't feeling like I needed a relationship, but rather, I met someone I wanted to be in a relationship with. And for me, my most negative relationships started when I was feeling lonely at the time they started.
Bob | |
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