| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 1:49:35 AM | | OK, so lets see if I can make this short and sweet! I met this guy, we had drinks. I found out he's seeing someone, but wants me. I am very attracted to this man. I am torn as to weather or not to be with him in any capacity. I know in my mind it is wrong to be with someone in a relationship, but there's something there. Any suggestions on how to find out if we could work without putting anything in jeporady or causing him to cheat? Or on the other side, is it better to wash my hands of the whole thing? ANy suggestions? | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 1:57:04 AM | How did you meet him, did he claim to be single on here?
If that's not the case and he did not lie/misrepresent himself, tell he to call you when he is single. Don't date him unless he is not seeing her... no excuses. In the meantime, date other men... don't put all your eggs in one basket. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 2:01:49 AM | Yes, it is wrong to see someone that is in a relationship... what if that someone was you and you were on the receiving end? I doubt you would like it.
If he wants you that much... He will end the other relationship. Period. If he doesn't. it does not speak highly for him, it screams "I have my cake and I will eat it too."
Why was he having drinks with another woman, when he was in a relationship with someone else. Could it be that he is a selfish pig?
I would run as far and as fast as I could in the opposite direction. If he would do that to the woman he is supposedly in a relationship with, he will do it to you in a heartbeat some time in the future. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 2:08:27 AM | | I'm confused as to how one can explore a relationship while in another relationship without "cheating", so to speak. Additionally, I'm confused as to why you would want to date someone who is in the very process of casting his character into such a questionable light. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 3:33:49 AM | | IMO.... If you pursue anything with this man YOU are destined to be the OTHER women in no time!!!!!! loose his number!! | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 3:44:42 AM | | Don't put yourself in competition with someone else. He's exploring a relationship. It needs to play itself out one way or another. Tell him to call you when he's available. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:01:02 AM | I suppose it's too late to tell him you're involved in a committed relationship and ask how he feels about asking you to step outside of that committment?
 | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:06:30 AM | I am the one in the relationship and he is the one asking the girl at work out......how am I supposed to feel about this? Is it ok for him to come home and tell me that he has met someone else? Is it ok for you to be that someone else? NO IT'S NOT OK and you already know this. You should find out who his girlfriend is and tell her so she can lose his ass......oh, yeah....then, by all means, you can have him!!!!!!
  | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:15:21 AM |
I met this guy, we had drinks. I found out he's seeing someone, but wants me. .....He wants you for one reason and one reason only, and I'm pretty sure you know what that reason is.....there again, maybe you don't if you posted this thread.
Of course it's wrong to BE with someone who's already in a relationship. If you think there is 'something there' then wait until he decides to leave his current partner.
Cut your losses and don't tempt fate. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:33:59 AM | Know the old saying?
"When you cheat with a married (or otherwise taken) man, you get a married man who cheats."
It's true. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:37:57 AM | 1) I found out he's seeing someone
2) but wants me
Ok..take the hard/easy road:
TELL HIM that you want to pursue a full realtionship with him, but that his relationship with another is preventing everything; so that he must choose right here.
If he really wants you, he will make the correct decision..otherwise just move on!
But If I where to be you...Ill move on right away. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 9:39:56 AM | | It's WRONG....how would you feel if you were the woman he was in a relationship with and got blind-sided by something like this. This man belongs to someone else. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 9:42:54 AM | I would tell him to give you a call when he is single,why should you be any
man's second choice? | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 9:46:40 AM | Moniquesc~....
This man belongs to someone else. Sooooooo not true. Amazing how the predominant feminine perspective is to treat this like ownership.
| |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 10:07:37 AM | Msg 1,
It's fun to flirt with someone who is married, or engaged to be married, but I would not want to be the one to cause a marriage to fail. Anyone outside of marriage is fair game. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 10:57:58 AM | eazk, it's not that it isn't true, it's that it's vague.
OP, we need more information. "Seeing someone" does not necessarily constitute being in a relationship wherein there is a commitment to exclusivity. He's seeing you. You obviously don't feel its at a place where you expect exclusivity. What is the other relationship? If he just told you he is also dating someone else he recently met then there's no problem. There's nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as you are open about who you are. If he's telling you that he'd like you on the side and keep his long term partner then I would agree with the majoriy here. But from what you posted no one could possibly give you appropriate advice.
| |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 11:44:38 AM | | one your list of what you want as a partner, is cheating on that list? If so then be his mistress or maybe you can get him to leave his girlfriend then you can be his girlfriend he cheats on. Your question is really dumb, you know what you should do the question is will you. Remember payback sucks!! | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 1:00:22 PM | | OP, if he met you while he's in another relationship that's exclusive, and she doesn't know he's meeting other women for drinks, that's cheating in my book. So what makes you think he wouldn't do the same thing to you if you two were in an exclusive relationship? As you already wondering if you should wash your hands of this, it may mean you already have some doubts; but if you think you should see him again I'll give you my opinion - don't. You deserve someone who's free to see you you and who wants to be with you, not someone who's not free and who is shopping around while he's still with someone else. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 4:57:42 PM | | Put yourself in the other gal’s shoes, if this were your guy meeting another for a drinks how would you feel? If you would feel angry, hurt or betrayed, there is your answer. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:12:09 PM | | If he is willing to quit seeing this other girl , then go for it. If not, then he isn't too into you, is he? He will leave you when he has what he wants from you. And then, like it has been said, you will be the woman he is cheating on... I would walk away. Lust is not love. Initial attraction is nice, but you need more...like trust! | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:19:45 PM | There's always something there.....
Right.
Well shit happens - and if they're involved then they aren't available - that's the way it goes sometimes. You want someone available - don't you?
My only suggestion would be to buck up and tell him to call you when he's NOT involved with someone else. If he's willing to cheat on her, do you really think he wouldn't be willing to cheat on you eventually? Take a deep breath and think. Do you really want to start a relationship with a situation like that hanging over it like a cloud?
We need an emoticon that's just shaking his head or doing a V-8 forehead slap or something. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/30/2007 10:04:36 AM |
Any suggestions on how to find out if we could work without putting anything in jeporady or causing him to cheat?
Honey, He is cheating.. Black and white. He is in a relationship and having drinks with you.. You are not a business partner.. You are a single woman.. that is cheating in my book.
Or on the other side, is it better to wash my hands of the whole thing? ANy suggestions?
what is there to suggest.. I have one put yourself in the other woman's shoes.. Good grief.. Have some class.I don't care how great the spark is..If he is committed he is committed.. | |
|
| |
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:28:31 AM | | Tell him to finish with the relationship and come back to you when he is single. If it's really you he wants, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, and the other girl is better off out of it anyway. | |
|
| in a relationship.......kinda
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:32:55 AM | Be careful......if he is cheating on his girlfriend with you then he will cheat on you with the next. | |
|
Home
login 
