| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:11:03 PM | | Why is it that woman say they are looking for an "honest man" , but if the man is honest enough to say he does not want a committed relationship then why is he now a "player" instead of an honest man? | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:17:01 PM | Easy Peasy Japanesy...the label comes as thus....
....if ur not looking for a committed relationship, then you dont get involved with women who are looking for a LTR
Most people are looking for a LTR...they dont wanna waste time or emotional energy getting to know you only for you to pull the rug out from under them.
Easy way to deal with it would be....as you introduce urself...shake hands and say "Hi, Im not looking for a committed relationship"
Wont work tho cos then guys wont get the pu$$y, which is why players dont say anything upfront and only mention it after they've slept with a woman. | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:21:21 PM | | I would agree, guess I should elaborate a little more...Not trying to get the pu$$y either and also am upfront about that but still get accused of being player. Can't win for being honest and just tryin to meet new people. | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:26:29 PM | OP...no-ones gonna label u a player unless ur playing the game or they're an idiot.
So if more than one person has called u this...chances are thats the impression ur sending out.
If ur leading people on in any way shape or form without intention to come thru on the image ur projecting, its playing regardless if ur aware of it.
A genuine conversation wont be considered playing, but then again, sex wouldnt be a topic of it either. Maybe thats whats throwing them the bone? | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:36:46 PM | | Thanks kynie...not trying to give that impression at all so will try better I guess. My only guess is because I am "seperated" and get messages from nowhere that tell me I need to quite being a player. Would think from my profile it would be pretty blunt but guess I need to make some modifications to be clearer. Thanks for the help! | |
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LWK
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Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 6 | |
| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/30/2007 11:55:59 PM | | Now I'm kinda confused here, first this thread ... then 10 minutes later you post another one saying that your SO would like you to engage in a 3 some? huh????? If the reason in the first place that you aren't looking for a committed relationship why not just state that you already have a SO ? Confusing .... really ! | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 12:24:30 AM | So True, I've seen guys with personal Ads with the heading.." Seeking the One"
but after a few conversations..they want to be in a nudist camp, and swingers club, and do not believe monogamy is a real thing.!
You cant tell me "Seeking the One ", somehow should be taken as.. seeking a dozen.
false advertising all the way.
What If I posted.." Seeking a Lot of sex" but then after 10 conversations.. threw in that I am a practicing NUN and dont believe in sex really?
A lot of women are seeking casual flings, as much as the men, but these guys want someone cleaner, so they do this stuff.
It cant be that hard to find another not looking for commitment, they have sites just for married women looking for some on the side, this should be a commitment phobics dream, a win/win situation!
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 3:12:11 AM | | It is not that they are not looking for honesty..just not the type of relationship you are looking for. You have to choose women who are not looking for LTR as well. They are out there...just might take a little longer to find. | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 4:20:13 AM | Honesty?
Oh the irony! lol Your other thread mentions your SO that wants a hot 3-some and you're worried it will ruin the relationship.
In this thread you're whining about being so honest about not wanting a relationship.
Just another reason that I shudder in horror when I read self descriptions like "nice guy" and "honest." | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 4:26:15 AM | | Well ok you are being honest in saying you don't want a committed relationship ,but have you stopped to consider that these women want committed relationship. It's all well and good for you to not want to date anyone else exclusively ,but not everyone is going to think like you. Yes we want someone who is honest but most of us also want someone to be committed to us. | |
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jjay73
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Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:24:27 AM | Well, I am guessing that everyone that is accusing me of lying has not looked at my profile. I think it is quite clear that I have moved to a new city and only looking to make friends. Everyone assumes you are lying. Here is the comment I made on other thread also if anyone really cares.
Wow, never imagined people could take one thread totally wrong way so I will explain my self some more. Current situation above applies with my significant other. Other thread is about my profile being quite clear I believe, about not looking for dating, sex, relationship...only friendships because have moved to new city. But yet I get emails from woman that I have never contacted telling me..."you are seperated, get off dating site and quite being a player". Guess if being very open not looking for anything other than friends then not misleading anyone and just being social. I will keep in mind not to use the threads and ask questions any more being everyone automatically assumes you must be lying. Check out the profile and if anyone has any suggestions on how to be any more clear only want "friendships" then please let me know. Thanks | |
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LWK
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Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:59:27 AM | Yup yup yup I always look at the profile before commenting especially if I'm gonna call BS... The first time I looked it said "seperated" and didn't mention anywhere in profile that you had a SO, now it says "not single/not looking" . Makes alot more sense now ty for clearing that up . Amazing how one little change in your status wording can make all the difference in the world of how your percieved when you write in the forums. If women are initiating contact with you with that message you described above then just block them , there really are quite a few that would enjoy a new friend just to chat with as long as that chat doesn't go in a sexual direction .  | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:09:59 AM | | I don't see where an 'honest man' and 'committing to a relationship' have anything to do with each other. I'm sure if you don't want to commit, it isn't an honesty issue. | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:37:48 PM | Why is honesty not enough for [some] or [a few]womEn?
You haven't been contacted by anything like the entire female population of this website which runs into the millions. . . . There are ALWAYS some loose cannons, and dat's da troot. I was seeing a guy who was regularly getting missives from women telling him he must be gay: because he wrote poetry. Whatever else he may have been, lol, GAY was not one of them. . . .
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:40:35 PM | | Well if you are seeing someone and you tell them you don't want a committed relationship it kinda makes them feel like they are nothing more than a bootycall. If the relationship isnt going anywhere... whats the point? | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:47:10 PM | And, two other suggestions:
1) Some people think they can change your mind. So, even though you may be up front they believe you will eventually want a LTR. And, the reason they may think that is;
2) Your words and your actions are not aligned. What I mean is what comes out of your mouth is that you don't want a LTR, but what you are actually doing may send signals that you do. (i.e., I don't want a girlfriend = let's move in together or I don't want to get serious = see each other exclusively every Saturday night) | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 5:07:55 PM | You can be honest but if all your looking for is a FRIEND W BENEFITS....you should be just as truthful...most HONEST guys say don't want to be committed to ANYONE but will accept ALL invitations from this person but will not reciprocate OR play a game and act like they are reciprocating.. ...but then....when things SHOULD develop into a closer bond..they tend to retreat into a safety zone.
The relationship goes two steps forward (intimacy) and three steps back(fear of commitment)....two steps forward(intimacy)..and three steps back..(fear of commitment). ..
Honest guys who really are looking for FWB's.. like the comforts of what all husbands and boyfriends experience without giving any indication that the relationship will progress in time.
So why don't they just say they are looking for FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS instead of dancing around the subject? | |
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| Why is honesty not enough for woman?
Posted: 10/31/2007 5:54:22 PM | | I don't really understand what the problem is here. I am just addressing the original post & not the other comments talking about other threads etc. If you are upfront about your dating style preferance and they call you a player obviously they are not interested in your style so move on & find people that are fine with it. Most people are not comfortable dating people who are going to date others at the same time. Just know that for some reason people see this as playing. My view- This is called DATING! What other people seem to want is commitment up front. Strange to me but sway goes. | |
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