| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 6:55:16 AM | I made the big mistake that im sure some of you have made. I had sex with someone without protection. I dont know if I contracted anything but Im worried now that if I did no one would ever want me. Can you please help by answering this question.
If you really liked someone could you see yourself dating or even marrying them? | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:06:15 AM | | In a word?.....NO! If you have a disease that could seriously affect me, then why would you even consider a relationship? Go get checked out and wait till you get the resullts. Use pretection from now on. Don't put someone elses life in danger. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:08:34 AM | Would I date someone with HIV? No... it's a deadly disease. I would like to live a long, happy, healthy life and try to make choices that will allow me to fulfill those wishes.
I have heard individuals pleading for their loved ones to ignore their HIV-positive status. Maybe the best way I can explain my feelings is to put things hypothetically. Let's imagine I have HIV. Let's also imagine I was in love with a woman. The fact is... the last thing I would ever wish upon a loved one is that they be infected with a deadly disease. To kill your significant-other kind of contradicts the whole concept of love.
There are many singles sites that cater to individuals with sexually transmitted diseases. Check them out. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:27:12 AM | ^^So...essentially you are saying that those with STD's and HIV should only date one another?? LMAO
OP, there are people who have fallen in love with someone who are HIV+...I know someone personally, and they are now married and living a happy, healthy life. They met with her Doctors and learned how to keep him HIV free....
One of the largest Herpes treatment meds has a commercial that emphasizes how one partner is living with herpes and the other is not.
Would I intentionally get involved with someone with such? Probably not because it would be a barrier to the initial interest level of even getting to know them in a romantic nature. However, if someone found this out after I knew them, and I liked them, I would educate myself on it and probably overlook it.
But...you are freaking out...go get tested and ease your fears or at least know if you do have anything...and yes....never ever not use a condom with a new partner or someone you are not certain you are monogamous with!! | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:05:48 AM | Would I date someone I knew had HIV? HELL NO!!!!
Look, the bottom line here is that if you're sexually active simply go get tested. Once a month, once a quarter, twice a year etc.
Obtain testing not only for HIV but for all STD's that offer a test. And women, don't assume that during you're yearly your gynecologist is automatically going to test....they don't. Simply request testing.
In the event you are unable to afford testing, your local County or City Health Dept. often times offer HIV as well as STD testing free of charge. Take better care of your privates then what you do your home or vehicles. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:22:21 AM | I knew someone who dated someone who might be HIV positive but didn't know yet. They didn't have sex and she was very educated about HIV, contracting it etc. His ex had found she had it and informed all her previous sex partners.
They broke up for other reasons before he got his final test results because you need to be tested twice.
After they broke up and BEFORE he got his 2nd test, he had unprotected sex with someone else I knew. This was disastrous. I ended up telling her because she had to know. Thank god she didn't catch anything but it didn't stop the months of agony and waiting before she got her results. Not just worried about her life or dating but how this would impact her kids as well.
The hospital told her there were legal avenues she could take against someone who knew they could be HIV positive and having sex with people without informing them of the risk. Turned out she was not infected...phew. So it was just a hard lesson about the need for protection when having sex.
If you think having an STD is bad, try having one then pulling a stunt like that and see how people feel about you.
In the end, I don't think he ever had HIV but using it as an excuse to milk my first friend for her generosity without having sex with her.
Either way you look at it, dude was a jerk. A dose of honesty can make this all less dramatic. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:45:30 AM | | Would i date someone with HIV if i knew-no no no and did i say NO,yes i might fall inmlove with them but there is no way i am risking my life,my future and my joy for someone like that.If i was still 18 and thought relationships were everlasting maybe but now after all the games and stints pple pull in relationships there is no way i am risking my life for so called Love. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:48:35 AM | I have a close friend that is hiv positive, we date as friends but no sex. there is still no cure for HIV/AIDS. People still die as a result of it. They live longer then they did in the 80's but people still die.
If you are worried you should go get a blood test and then go again 6 months later. Protect yourself at all times. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:45:30 AM | | I'd date such a person. I'd kiss them if we both didn't have a cut. But I don't think I'd have sex with them. People don't even like breathing second-hand smoke. Why should sex be different? | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:11:48 AM | Nope. And if I found out someone I was dating had HIV, I'd be furious. If we were intimate, I'd do everything in my power to see that he was punished to the fullest extent of the law.
I'm serious about protecting myself and STILL get tested once a year for STDs to include HIV, Chlamydia, Hepatitis C, etc.
It's not as common for a man to get HIV from a woman. The vagina is much tougher and much less likely to tear than the rectum/anus. By and large, men contract HIV through anal sex or needle use.
If you had unprotected sex, you should contact your doctor immediately. From what someone posted above about "2" tests, I know it's done differently here. You're tested monthly for the 1st 3 months, then every 2 months until 12 months. This is for HIV. Generally, you're immediately treated for Chlamydia without waiting for a test result. The reason they're so aggressive about frequent testing during the year's time frame is because of the improvement in the drugs over the last few years. The sooner they can "catch" it, the longer you live. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 1:33:36 PM | Im sure there will be someone to love you
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 1:44:27 PM | Absolutely not.
And you're pretty ignorant to be having unprotected sex in the first place. You just asked for it if you got something. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 2:19:56 PM |
You just asked for it if you got something.
That's rude and uncalled for.
I see that you have "prefer not to say" for your body type. Are you overweight? When you develop diabetes or heart disease, will you be expecting someone to say "You asked for it"?
No, the Op didn't ask for it. People make stupid mistakes their entire lives. I don't care how old you are...you're never immune to moments of stupidity. I can't imagine having HIV and what it must be like trying to find a partner. But I am certain that telling someone they "asked for it" just makes it that much worse. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 3:02:54 PM | ^^So...essentially you are saying that those with STD's and HIV should only date one another?? LMAO
I couldn't care less who HIV positive people date.. They aren't going to be dating me.
I don't believe the OP was asking if HIV positive people should be allowed to date, but if you would date them.
As many others have stated, I would never knowingly date someone who had an STD. I also wouldn't knowingly date someone who had a drug problem, or an alcohol problem. I wouldn't knowingly date someone who had a severe psychological problem..
I think it's still my right to discriminate when it comes to who I am involved with. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 3:34:33 PM | No. My health is too important to me to take that level of risk. I have young children I wish to see grow up.
Although I have no issues befriending someone with HIV there would be no intimacy. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:38:35 PM | I wouldn't say no actually, I would truly have to totally adore and see all the beautiful things within her out shining her HIV issue. If this happen, hell yes I would date her.
I could die tomorrow from many other reasons, but at least, I knew I was loved and adore. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:11:13 PM | I know a man who is married to an HIV pos woman and they have sex with condoms and he's remained neg for 5 years now. There are also couples who one is pos and one is neg and they have children together.
Life is short, we could all die at any moment, any time. HIV is a disease someone has, not something that a person IS. I have seen HIV pos children in orphanages who no one wants to adopt, and been told by people "don't touch them" they might give it to you. It's this type of ignorance that makes the world a sad place and keeps us all from being united as humans.
The fact is any one of us can become HIV pos at any time. Maybe we think we're with a trustworthy partner and we use a condom but then it breaks. Or how many of you are having unprotected oral sex? HIV is transmitted via oral too. Or maybe you sit down on a seat in the airplane right on a heroin user's needle? This has happened to people. Or you step on one in the park or in the ocean.
I'm not saying someone should intentionally expose themselves but I think the world needs to review their values and the way they look at people. Odds are many of you have had sex with an HIV pos person and you didn't know, and they didn't know. Closemindedness does not help though. Put yourself in someone else's shoes.
No one should have unprotected sex but you made a mistake, as most people do. I am the only person I know on earth who has never had unprotected sex in my life - anyone and everyone I've ever asked has done it. So you are not alone. The risk is pretty minimal. First of all that person had to actually have HIV to give it to you - and then even if they did have it, you might not neccessarily contract it. Have the tests, try to relax, contact the person and ask them if they've been tested, etc.
Count this as a lesson learned and be safe next time and I hope that you will open your mind to HIV pos people, even when you find out you are neg.
Would I date someone HIV pos even though I am neg? If they met all my very strict criteria and we evaluated the situation carefully and had true and deep feelings? Yes. But I don't jump into bed with guys at random and most men don't fit my other criteria. Would I adopt an HIV pos child? If I could provide for that child all that was necessary to make his or her life the best it could be - yes.
Remember a disease is something you have - not something you are. HIV and AIDS is not something people get because they are bad people or because they are not worthy of love and affection. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:15:34 PM | | just get a cabin in the woods with a few good dogs to keep you company, theres not much left for you in the dating scene. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:45:37 PM | so much empathy and compassion it's overwhelming. geezus people, HIV and herpes may be incurable STIs, but the treatment for both has come a long way & with education it's possible to have a non-infected partner remain negative.
while i wouldn't actively pursue a relationship with a partner diagnosed with HIV or herpes, if they discovered their status once we'd already become emotionally attached, i would seriously consider the possibility. as for other types of STI...most are curable via antibiotics, or so common that they're barely a consideration (i'd bet most people don't realize that 75% of sexually active adults have been exposed to HPV - aka warts - during their lifetime)...those would barely even raise an eyebrow from me if a partner were to drop that bit of news on me.
the point is, be personally responsibe, educate yourself...but don't live in a bubble or delude yourself into thinking STIs would never affect you, nor should you judge those who have been affected. the only 100% safe sex is no sex at all...so show a bit of sympathy, because someday the person with an STI (or STI scare) might be you. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:18:21 AM | The first thing you should do is abstain from further sexual contact with anyone.
Then make an appointment at your local sexual health clinic.
Get all the necessary blood work,and tests done.If you are not mature enough to
have safe sex,then you shouldn't be doing it. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/3/2007 6:02:49 AM | ^^So...essentially you are saying that those with STD's and HIV should only date one another?? LMAO
Yes, essentially I am. Let's be real here... if people who have HIV stop having sex with people who don't have HIV, the disease will cease to exist.
I'm sorry for anyone infected with an STD. It's an awful thing. However, I feel that people need to be responsible for their own actions. In 2007 people are not getting infected with HIV because of contaminated blood transfusions. People are getting infected with AIDS because they have unprotected sex with other people who have HIV, or they share drug needles with people who have HIV. Either way, a poor decision was made on the part of the infected individual.
Potentially infecting someone you love with HIV just because you want to get laid is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. I consider infecting another individual with a deadly disease to be manslaughter/murder. Many courts do as well. Search google, and you will find many cases in which people have been imprisoned for infecting others with HIV.
As for the OP: you made a poor decision to have unprotected sex in this situation. You clearly understand that. Now it's important for you to take the responsibility of getting yourself tested and abstaining from having unprotected sex until you are sure that you're not a carrier. | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/3/2007 6:07:22 AM | NO CHANCE.......
If I want to kill myself,wont be slow and painful.
And to the girl who said ignorant ......what your reply to her sounded like to me.
Mean people suck........ | |
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| dating and HIV
Posted: 11/3/2007 6:14:10 AM | | First off go get an Aids test to give yourself some piece of mind. No, I would not date or marry someone HIV positive. I enjoy sex too much to give it up, | |
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