| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:38:29 AM | ... there is instant and mutual chemistry that, despite all reason and regularly/easily enforced safeguards, begins *with the opening emails*, only deepens on msn, and is enforced and reinforced with every face-to-face meeting...
... when she tells you that you are the best guy in the world (or pretty darn close), that she cares for you way too much "if that is even possible", that everything has been going great, but that she is calling it off because she thinks she is some terrible person and will only end up hurting you?
... when all of your instincts and better judgement, not to mention her personal testimony, tell you that there isn't any other guy, no desire to play the field, when the age difference is no more an issue for us than it for is any random person who sees us together, when it wasn't just for the "icing on the cake" shall we say...
... when the only problem is her insistence that she has some sorta problem?
I mean, how can that really be it?
And how can it be less hurtful when someone who claims to deeply care for you just up quits on you; as opposed to doing so down the road after actually making the effort and knowing that you both tried your best but it didn't work out?
How does that hurt a person less? How does it do anything other than cheapen the world... and tell you that its peopled by a buncha quitters who give up on the things they love?
Rhetorically of course. I have this friend actually, and he met this girl, so Im wondering on his behalf. | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:47:57 AM | “It is not you - it is me”
That line of thinking has been around longer than I have ... oh and I am older than dirt. | |
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Nyre
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Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 3 | |
| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:48:58 AM | All I can say is that not everyone is ready for a relationship Maybe she got scared or just didn't like some imperfection and isn't honest enough to herself or him to tell the truth.
Im sure there is someone out there for him he just has to look in the right pond and use the right bait.
Scott aka Nyre | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:01:25 AM | Thanks guys.
I guess the big question is... how does a guy who has been bred to fully realize how rare and important good things in life are, that those good things are the difference between being alive and simply having a pulse, just walk away from that?
It would be different if there was a real problem... if she acted like half the "female dog" she seems to think she is and chose any one of the umpteen number of imperfections you have and used that as her reason.
Then it would be as easy to just "give up" as it was on any of the other "female dogs" that you've crossed paths with in life, ie. no problem at all.
And then of course, she is still willing to talk about it.
So, if she just wants to get rid of you, why make it.... so difficult? | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:05:53 AM | It's also known by another name....
"Letting you down easy"
words like :
- great guy
- sweetheart
- too good for me
- not ready
- there's nobody else
....will often be in the conversation somewhere. | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:09:55 AM | It means your worrying too much.. get out. dress up.. sheets will dooooo its halloweeeen stick ya make up on... off ya trot...  | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:23:35 AM | | Sounds as if she is a very shallow person. As much as I hate to say it, women can be players just as much as men. I've found much better luck with men that live close by. Long distance emails are so non-committal. | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:28:07 AM |
So, if she just wants to get rid of you, why make it.... so difficult?
Because she's trying to finish it in a way that she believes will cause the least hurt to you, because she hasn't got the courage to tell you the truth about it. Because she doesn't realise that sometimes being kind can be more cruel to the other person . It should be the old 'cruel to be kind' thing, but most people just don't have the heart to do it. It's not always easy being honest. | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:09:56 PM | | Well this is my own person take. She may actually have issues that she needs to deal with that haven't manifested themselves yet. I will give you a real life example my own. I was in a relationship for 18 months. We had our problems but we have recently broken up. Part of the reason why we broke up was because I myself have issues that need to be dealt with. Because I entered this past relationship not realizing how severe the issues were it ripped us apart. Not saying my ex isn't to blame he is partly. Yet before you can love someone else you have to love yourself. | |
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| what does it mean when...
Posted: 10/31/2007 1:51:05 PM | I hate to admit this but i myself told someone sometime ago that continuing the relationship would hurt hi.My reasoning behind this was:
This guy was nice-way too nice,he drove from Calgary to edmonton every weekend to see me,would do anything i asked him to do,was willing to wait for to be ready to get into a realtionship again,he was way too nice,the more nicer he was the more i realised i really didnt like him for him but for the things he was doing for me.I didnt want to hurt his feelings,i felt breaking it off soon was the best idea and i was honest.If someone tells u like that just thank God and move on.My 2 cents. | |
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