| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 5:45:14 PM | I will use the most recent example... I am seeing this guy for the past month. He is good looking, really sweet, caring, talented in a lot of things, and crazy about me. I used to like him a lot at first. But now, I am just tired of him. Certain mannerisms about him start to annoy me and I just want to break it off with him. This happens to me everytime (I mean about me getting tired of people). What is wrong with me? Am I just picking the wrong guys to fall for or is it just me? I suspect it is the latter :( What should I do about it?
I know my question may come across as retarded, but I have been dealing with this problem for many years, and I don't want to be a jackass forever! But I can't change my feelings if I am suddenly tired of a person! What should I do? | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:03:00 PM | Marianne9999:
It seems to me that 23 is too soon to determine that this trend is some sort of pathology. There are so many ways to look at this. There is the bright side, which is that you are recognizing your feelings and responding to them, as opposed to ignoring or trying to deny them. That is always a good thing.
I encourage you to date men who challenge you more, emotionally and intellectually. Your relationships may last longer. Too, you may be a someone who has a low tolerance for things that annoy you. Time, and more relationships will no doubt help you put this into perspective.
I say, keep being honest with yourself about how you feel. Your feelings, despite how you may feel about them, usually won't lead you astray. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:34:57 PM | | OP when you figure it out lemme know too!! I am 43 and still get bored , or fed up too easily. Perhaps it isn't so much as that you don't know what you want but you know what you DON'T want. I think ones patience for the little idiosyncrasies on life fades as we get older too. Those things you thought were odd but ok and only mildly annoying become HUGE in no time. You are young there is no need to settle!!! | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:43:26 PM | Keep being YOU and when the One your intersted in makes You feel like the jackass,and still wants to get to know you,well... even 2 jackasses make a couple ;)
E Or tired | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 6:44:41 PM | | Holy crow! I thought it was only me!! I tire of people so quickly...they bore me and I'm not one who needs much excitement. The only reason I tire of people so fast is that when I'm not LEARNING anything new, I get bored. So, when people aren't teaching me anything new, I walk away. I think it's awful of me but I don't know how to ignore my feelings on this. I realize that it's not anyone else's responsibility to "entertain" me etc. It's nothing personal with the other party...it's just me. Wow! I thought it was only me...at least I'm not alone! | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:30:12 PM | You're not alone. Think it depends on what you want and what you need in a partner. Don't settle or you will only make yourself miserable.
I am a perfectionist so this probably does not help matters any. I do not expect the other person to be perfect but there are certain things that jsut turn me off either intially or after awhile.
Maybe you just need to concentrate on yourself for a little while and determine what you will accept and will not....what are the real deal breakers? Don't just start seeing someone to find out later...do some due diligence first. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:33:00 PM | Hello well first you have to ask your self a few things and be honest about your feelings. one if you really love some one you can look past there flaws and trust me here we all have them I can be a hill billy at times but I'm still a bussness man too. I do some crazy things that drive others crazzy at time but thats who I am. just like the guy your with what ever his flaws are are also what made you fall for him just like he likes or love you for who you are we hope un less there anther problem but that a diffrent forum  so remember if you do not love him then you should move on but if you do try talking to him and see the parts you love about him and let him know nice about what bothers you and if he really love you he will chage as long as your both a working team and not in to the head games | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:45:56 PM | But now, I am just tired of him. Certain mannerisms about him start to annoy me and I just want to break it off with him. This happens to me everytime (I mean about me getting tired of people). What is wrong with me? Am I just picking the wrong guys to fall for or is it just me? I suspect it is the latter :( What should I do about it?
Possibly,
You're sabotaging your relationships... you pick at percieved flaws as a means to hide the real reason you walk from relationships.
When you enter a new relationship and you see that it is going to last more than a few dates, what thoughts do you have when you begin to ponder the "long term" affect?
Some people forecast a gloomy ending. Others forecast a long term and hopefully loving relationship.
You may have an incognisant fear regarding "trust". | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 9:51:42 PM | Maybe you spent too much time with him too quickly?
Have you tried things like finding new things to do ... 'lets go on a picnic today'.
If you think you honestly got to know him well enough and you're still bored then it wasn't meant to be. In my experience, even the most 'boring' people can be pretty when you ask lots of questions and listen to what they have to say, or what they've experienced in life already.
Do you also get bored of your friends too? - the answer to that, may help you know if its you, or just those relationships in particular | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:02:29 PM |
Am I just picking the wrong guys to fall for or is it just me? It's probably a good measure of both of these.
What to do? Stop dating (for the moment), look at both of those things you see (wrong guys and it being you) and figure out which end is up and fix what you find broken. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:07:17 PM | i might ask if you spend more than 5 days a week with him? if yes... then i would just say that you over did the time together.
Too much time too soon=getting tired quick.
Im of the mind of "let me start to miss you" meaning i need a few days or so between 'hang outs'.
Basically space. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:18:54 PM | | What do you mean by fall for them? Maybe what your feeling is just the LUST. We all feel that in the beginning. Sometimes the lust goes and you look at what's left and you just don't want it. It's happened to me a few times in the past. Once the lust has been satisfied there wasn't really anything else. Sounds pretty cold but it happens. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:19:49 AM | Perhaps you're so insecure about the relationship that you'll look for an exit strategy at the first sign of trouble. Maybe you need "exictement" in a relationship because the quiet moments are when the demons in your head are the loudest. It doesn't seem like a good thing that people can just drop off your emotional radar like a plane in the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe there wasn't a connection there at all, just the rewarding feeling of having your fears fed.
I think its good that you are questioning your dating methodology. That means you are getting real with yourself. Then you can be real with other people who are real with themselves and before you know it, you'll be in a healthy relationship where entertainment value isn't so much of a concern. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:57:37 AM | I get tired of people, too. I have always been this way. What I found for myself is that I get tired of people once I've "figured them out". This is true for males and females. There's nothing wrong with you.  | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 11:22:01 AM | | Normally, I would say there's nothing wrong with you, but since it's starting to hurt YOU now, which is even worse than hurting someone else (which you are also doing, by the way) it sounds like your own behavior seems to be the only hindrance to finding a relationship. I would suggest talking to a professional because you may have some very valid intimacy issues that need resolving. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 1:54:41 PM | | I am the same way. I realized it is me and I have to tell myself that nobody is perfect. You will always find flaws in everyone and its up to you to know what you can and cant handle for the rest of your life. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:13:38 PM | Don't sweat it. There is nothing wrong with you. After the initial rush (lust and endorphins) of meeting someone new wears off you start looking at people how they really are.
My track record was the same. My average relationship prior to meeting my ex was 2-3 months. After that, it was "Hmmm.... nope can't see this lasting over the long haul- Thank you... come again!". I didn't run into my ex till I was 28. Hang in there, there is nothing wrong with you and hold out for the "Perfect fit" after the rush fades. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:17:47 PM | | maybe you should do more with yourself,...your inner self...like something creative..maybe he is feeling the same way too....and this internet dating smorgasbord which is available whenever you want it creates these false perceptions of love,...the idea here is,so,if the toy loses interest....then get a new one...Why don't you take up yoga?...it's really a wonderful experience if you get the right person and starts you on your inward journey...you need something other than a lover to fill that void which you will always have....you are looking for reasons not to want him anymore...before you go looking for another one...look into yourself...it's not fair to either one of you... | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:32:19 PM | | Do you find that you are competitive and enjoy being challenged? Does this "I'm bored now" attitude carry over to other parts of your life -- would you say that you enjoy something whilst you are learning how to do it and it is new and challenging, but when you've mastered it you get bored and want to move on? If you do then the answer may be to reassess how you regard the people you relate to -- you may be seeing them as a challenge, and once they are besotted with you, you become bored with them as they offer you no challenge. If this is the case then you need to realise that it is not the responsibility of the person you are relating to to provide you with entertainment or challenge and that your tendency to look for that in them is a recipe for disaster as you will leave a trail of broken hearts until you find someone who breaks yours by being a constant challenge you can never win over. Learn to satisfy your core need for challenge outside of your romantic relationships. We all have core needs of various kinds depending on our personalities -- it is not always (ever?) healthy to look to relationships to satisfy them -- your need is your responsibility, not theirs. | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:54:35 PM | Hello marianne9999,
I read your post because one of my favourite posters replied here. So i read some of your previous posts to get a sense of your situation and perhaps your outlook on dating. I was interested by the combination of this thread and one of your replies that was geared at helping a fellow POFer to increase his odds.
The help you gave him centred on the ability to draw someone in based on behaviours that would elicit interest from them. It made me wonder how you were attracting the men you date. Such behaviour while successful, doesn't appeal to the higher thinking that your other posts suggest. If you treat men like they are reptiles that's what you will attract.
I would assume with the lack of information provided that you are clever enough that people will simply read in their own issues on the matter giving you a wider picture of paths to choose. I would discourage you from taking this approach to solving you confusion and look to your own behaviour that attracts these men in the first place, what your beliefs about men are, and what you are trying to prove about yourself and or men and the ability to connect and relate to them in a meaningful way.
Your post already is showing that you are punishing yourself for the situation, However i don't think that this is something that is punishable. Unlike education and business relationships are emotionally based and thus have no logical steps to take for get the results you want. In fact if you are following some steps then i'd say this is part of the problem.
crazylilting | |
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| what's wrong with me? (I get tired of people)
Posted: 11/3/2007 3:18:09 PM | Thats life...Seems to me that is normal dating, Everyone seems great while on their best behaviour and while they are new..get to know them. not who you want to spend your life with...next....
I think you are beating yourself up over what is completely normal. You dont actually think its easy to find a mate..In the mean time have fun and get on with your life till the right one...the one you cant find anything wrong with comes along...
It also seems that you are dwelling on getting a boyfriend..Get on with your life..Mr right will show up when you least expect it
Of course you realize you are asking for dating advise from a dating forum..IE no one here has got there own relationships working...Sort of like asking sexual advise from a virgin | |
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