| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/2/2007 11:49:35 PM | In her profile it says """I'm at Blankey Fitness in BlankCity""" blanks inserted over real names...
So I sent a short email:
Nunamy biz but, do you really want to be announcing that for the whole world?
and she emails back:
"""I'm always looking for people who love fitness to chat with, quite honestly I'm a bit offened by your e-mail
Hope you have a good weekend"""
I think I'll go back to asking for fone sex.....
pS: I only get 10 posts a day, so thanks to all of you below. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/2/2007 11:55:37 PM | | I had a gym stalker once, had to change my phone number and my gym schedule. It sounds to me that your intent was good. It's one thing to reveal that kind of information to someone you are talking with, but to include in your profile, not a good idea. Perhaps it was the way you worded the message or she may not have liked someone questioning her judgement. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:01:05 AM | | Being offended by your concern seems a bit odd. Possibly she works for Blankey Fitness and her profile is only here to get people to stop by the gym in the hopes of seeing her. Did she have much other info in it? | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:13:23 AM | Wow....That sounds to me like simply proof of that adage that "No good need goes unpunished!" I think that I might agree with Miss "ignis" that perhaps this woman did NOT understand that you weren't criticizing the fact that she goes to a gym, For Goodness' Sake!!! And I totally see your side on this one...that's a little bit um....short-sighted on her part. My guess is that she thought you were givin' her crap cuz she works out...lol..."Hello? Anybody home in there, sweetheart??? " (Sorry...it's SO not nice of me to poke fun....oops!)
In the future just remember that for some people you must be quite specific, even to the very edge of that cliff called "Freaky/Scary/Stalker/OMG, just so that some people will get the point. I have a friend who is a probation/parole officer and one day she was telling me how she'd had a little difficulty with one of her probationers. The woman had come in with her son (about 4 yrs old) and her daughter (about 5-6? yrs old) and it was summertime but she'd not been able to find a sitter. My friend took her back to office and immediately just lit into her about the fact that, "You do NOT bring your children to your appointments with me! Never, NEVER again....do you understand?" The woman started to get all shitty about it....but my friend shut her down right away with....."Have you ever sat out there while you're waiting and looked at some of the guys ? Has it ever crossed your mind how many of them are on parole from prison, where they may very well have been there for really horrific sex crimes??" As the woman's jaw dropped....she continued (she's a little hard core about stuff like this but she wanted the point to really hit home!) "Now, when you leave...think about how many of them are looking at your kids and MIGHT have overheard you mention where you live, or what you drive etc...Leave your babies at home next time, hm?" And THAT was what it took....
Obviously, this gal hasn't quite grasped the scope of the WORLDWIDE web....which is code for any crazy sick jerk can find you without too much work, but if you're not cautious about protecting yourself then by all means....publish all of your personal info for everyone to see at a glance! Yay...for you that you did the right thing. (And trust me...phone sex is WAY easier to ask for...just don't ask how I know...lol....JK!)  | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 2:53:06 AM | Nope..it's nunayobiz..........She is advertising the place..drum up some biz..possible spamming...
I have seen on occasion ...people putting up websites where they are IT for...spam is..as spam does. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 3:33:44 AM | "....."Have you ever sat out there while you're waiting and looked at some of the guys ? Has it ever crossed your mind how many of them are on parole from prison, where they may very well have been there for really horrific sex crimes??" As the woman's jaw dropped....she continued (she's a little hard core about stuff like this but she wanted the point to really hit home!) "Now, when you leave...think about how many of them are looking at your kids and MIGHT have overheard you mention where you live, or what you drive etc...Leave your babies at home next time, hm?" And THAT was what it took...."
I am not sure the analogy ... analogous!
The above example of course speaks volumes about the parole system itself. Paroled but not reformed? Why does the parole office not organise the meetings at its office so that the mix of waiting parolees is a tad less "diverse"? Or put people into prison blocks in such a way that they do not exit more "educated" in crimes than before they entered? Details, details!
BTW: What the POFer did that the OP decided to send her a mote for is actually a violation of POF rules, I am almost sure.
Life is indeed compliaced and thinking things through not everybody "sport"! | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 7:00:21 AM | | I leave to go to the gym every morning by 6:15am to get there by 6:30, so if someone wants to be a "gym stalker" in an effort to see me up close without it being a real "first meeting", all the power to him. It's a popular, public place that I'm sure there are "plenty of fish" that go there, but I doubt at 6:30am. Who cares? If they follow me to work or home, that's quite another story. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 11:13:05 AM | | I understand completely why you warned her, and I also think it was kind of a cool thing to do...but unforuntately, for people like her it's "too little too late". She may have gotten indignant with you because you made her realize how ignorant her actions were and it was too late for her to take it back. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 11:43:32 AM | """She may have gotten indignant with you because you made her realize how ignorant her actions were and it was too late for her to take it back""
Thanks everyone, its really unique when you a read thread YOU started (no ego here eahh?). Other peoples threads I skip over 2/3 replies (I only read the posts by "babes"). anyways, my bad taste aside....What really struck me about the reply to me email (I dont know if she was advertizing or not, certainly her email wasn't very "salesladyish")..was it was one of the answers to the age old question of online dating such as "why are some people so bitter", or "why can't you get a date".
Could you imagine....if everytime some man or woman said something to you somehow 9/10 times or 98/100 (including creeps and good guys) your reply was "buzz off" or "whats your problem". I am just imaganing a guy emailing a hypothetical single lady on POF and he says "HI, my name is Jim, I live in your city and I noticed you like to remodel old houses and I just got a new old house and would love to have a lady take a look at it, I'll roast some coffee beans with your name on the bag"...
and she replies....."I am really insulted by your email that you just want someone to cook and clean and make your coffee. Good luck"! | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 11:44:40 AM | I think she thought that you were one of these paranoid by proxy guys.
I am not sure if you were really concerned for her safety or was it your way of getting your foot in the door ?
I don't think it is a big deal. I work out at my local YMCA. Many women have named where they workout in this forum, which is tied to their profiles. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:50:47 PM | | I think that the OP had honorable intentions. He was trying to warn the woman of potential repurcussions of posting personal info. like that. I did the same thing on another website when I saw that a teenaged girl had posted her schedule...where she would be and at what time. It would make it extremely easy for a potential "stalker" to find her. I happened to know her Mom and I told her about it. Why this woman on POF reacted the way she did is beyond me. Perhaps she realized her error in judgment and just didn't like the fact that you "called her on it." Then again, she may be trying to get some "free advertising" for a specific gym and I would imagine that's a TOS violation. I once posted what shift I work on a forum...of course, not WHERE I work and I had forgotten about it. Some time later, I got a message from a website member that stated, "You should be getting off work soon...want to get together...blah...blah." At first, I thought that this person was a friend of someone who knew me and they were "playing a joke on me." My second instinct was that it was someone trying to "scare" me by letting me know that he KNEW my work schedule. It really upset me. Then I started thinking that perhaps he knew WHERE I was working as well. So, after a few emails...some in which I offended him, he explained that he had gotten the information from my forum post. I was very apologetic, but it did cause me to think that perhaps I shouldn't have posted that information on a public site so it was available so readily to so many people. I don't, however, have a problem telling people what shift I work once I start corresponding with them. However, I rarely tell them exactly WHERE I am working. | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 1:01:59 PM | I ... go to the gym every morning ... if someone wants to be a "gym stalker" in an effort to see me up close without it being a real "first meeting", all the power to him... Who cares? If they follow me to work or home, that's quite another story.
That's the point. You don't know who will follow you home.
I don't think it is a big deal. I work out at my local YMCA. Many women have named where they workout in this forum, which is tied to their profiles.
In my area, there are a couple Y's. I think you can work out at any of them with a membership. So, the odds of someone deliberately finding you in one are slimmer than a gym that is a stand-alone.
Yes, most people you run into at the gym, or anywhere for that manner, will not bring harm to you.
I think the OP's point was that naming the gym in the world wide web makes it easier to bring yourself to the notice of someone with not kind intentions. Imagine a Ted Bundy. He was intelligent and chose his victims pretty carefully before the internet. The odds of running into a Ted Bundy are high. But if you are one of the 'lucky' ones, the result is pretty bad.
OP: she didn't appreciate you telling her what she should have known.
Interesting what you said about approaching 9/10's of your encounters with humanity in a snide and rude manner. I wonder what kind of payoff is in it for her or others like her? | |
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| tried to 'warn' a gal about announcing name of her gym
Posted: 11/3/2007 4:47:50 PM | If she is so fortunate that she has never been followed home or learned the hard way that opportunists abound... Yay for her. She was dense to be rude and offended that someone bothered to take the time to advise her, wisely, that she might be inviting trouble by putting that information out there.
I remember a guy from Lavalife that I had to block... He was just WEIRD... He started a new profile and messaged me to ask me if I worked at _______ to which I said... No.
He stated that I must have a twin then because he'd seen me and if he hadn't been with his buddies was going to go over and see if I had nice feet.
Fortunately I'd given notice and was moving to a new position. My feet and I were safe.
All that anyone knows about me is that I'm somewhere in the West End of Vancouver.
That's all they need till I run them through my freak detector. Telling anything more is just plain stupid. I don't even use my work email so they can't find my domain and then my office.
Mah mama diddn' raise no fool. | |
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