~KC~
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/17/2005 5:37:31 PM | I keep hearing from some of my friends that they would NEVER date a single parent and I am risking it by doing just so.
Now my attitude is that you cannot control where another person comes from or the past they have lived and experienced. Children are part of that. Despite the fact that I am uncertain about bearing children of my own - I do not object to dating single fathers. My experience with single fathers have been rather positive and I don't see the issue here.
What is the general consensus here? Do you date single parents? | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/17/2005 5:46:43 PM | | I have no issues with dating a single parent. To me, it shows a bit of stability, particularly if they dig the parenting. There's sometime time issues, but beyond that, giddyup! | |
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dudio
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Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 3 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/17/2005 5:48:30 PM | The first thing I did, even before I finished your first sentence,
was check your age.
I think that's a big part of whether you accept other kids
into your life or not.
I'm 41, and it's pretty safe to assume that most
of the girls I will meet have kids of their own too.
I think broken famalies is a very unfortunate thing,
and if anything, I'd be proud to step up. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/17/2005 6:32:09 PM | This seems to be a forbidden issue for some people. I think there is a level of maturity that comes with dating a single parent...and a single parent who is trying to date!
I am a single parent. I never thought I'd be in my early thirties with a child and a pending social life...who does? Well, here I am. My opinion is this, I don't have the time to mess around with games, my schedule is full enough! I dated a single parent in my last relationship and I would happily do it again, even if I didn't have a bundle of joy of my own.
HOORRAY FOR SINGLE PARENTS IN THE DATING WORLD! | |
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thacks
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Joined: 10/15/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/17/2005 8:55:15 PM | | personally i couldnt do it right now as im not at the point in my life where i want to have a child in my life...i give all the credit to the single parents out there who make it work and put their children first as they should...you can tell alot about a person from there children and if the time came that i met a girl who had a child already i wouldnt have much issue with it at all so long as she would still want to have our own child | |
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~KC~
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/18/2005 3:50:46 AM | thacks - you are still young enough to find ladies in your age group that don't have that sort of history - but if you are looking for a certain age group... you will come across many that have children and therefore... you can choose to narrow your opportunities to childless ladies or open your horizons and meet someone with kids.
As far as raising THEIR kids.. I think that comes after a serious discussion about the sort of role you would play in those kids life. I am not looking to replace anyone's mother. Not at all for having been raised by a step-mother... I know the deal. But one can be a great friend and influence in the kids life... but again.. that is dependant on where that relationship goes.
Comes with age my friend... but don't close out any opportunities - for one great one could slip thru your fingers if ya do! | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/18/2005 4:24:36 AM | Interesting.....I am a single parent with two grown children. And I tend to look for someone who has not had children. Perhaps it is because I am a teacher and a mom. Love kiddies, but guess I need a little break from it.
Realistically, dating a guy in his 30s, 40s or even 50s they will most likely have kids. I dont mind it, but would prefer not. However, if he is truly a special guy, why not go for it!
This site bothers me at times. I have not had much luck at this site. Met a very nice guy in January, we dated, but I think that he is truly a confirmed bachelor. At least we are still friends. | |
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thacks
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Joined: 10/15/2004
Msg: 8 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/18/2005 6:41:32 AM | i most definately wouldnt try and replace a kids father...i was raised by my mother for 16 years before i moved out and started college...ive had to deal with someone trying to be my father and that just didnt fly to well with me
not that my father was anything to brag about...hes pretty much a waste too but what can ya do...i learned from his mistakes i guess | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/18/2005 6:55:08 AM | | I went out with a single parent before and didn't see anything wrong with it. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/21/2005 6:21:03 PM | | I have no problem dating single parents. All my relationships I've been in since my divorce had children. I get alone with children and like to include them in the relationship and let them know that they are just important to me as there mom is and I am there for them also. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/21/2005 7:32:53 PM | i'm not ready to be a father or father figure yet, so no single mommies for me! nexxxxt! :0
--matt | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 6:14:20 AM | | Being a father of 2 children and having dated single women with children I find it more positive. I find that they are a lot more mature and tend to have a lot more in common with them than single women without children. Thats my take on it. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 7:20:10 AM | | Well since I'm the only gramma here I gotta tell you. Kids are treasures. They give us so much insight into the reality of life. We gain a lot from just having the privelege of raising them. I personally do not care for guys who have not been married, nor been parents. Nothing wrong with them, but they lack a certain lustre of mature learning about such things. With me experience counts. We cannot give away that which we do not ourselfs possess. We must learn to love ourselfs, love others in a positive way, before we can return it. In My Own Humble Opinion here. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 9:48:37 AM | hey all
I read all these messages ... my opinion ... I am a single mom of two.. my ex husband used to tell me that if i ever left him that no one would want me because i'm "broken" and have "baggage" well... that didn't stop me from leaving him now did it lol and I feel that anyone that thinks you're not dating material because you have kids well.. they need to wake up and smell the coffee real quick and grow up on their way to waking up.
I've had guys stop talking to me on here or msn because I tell straight out my priorities: Kids, work then a relationship if the person can accept my way of life. I even had one tell me I was high maintenance lol lol I just about died laughing. Another got annoyed because I only go out, if I go out, on weekends my kids are at their dads or the one evening a week they go to their dads. No i'm not high maintenance I can take care of myself and my kids quite nice thanks you and i'm sorry but I need a job to support my kids because heck can't depend on my ex husband to pay what he's suppose to so that is why work falls #2 lol That's the reality of the life of the single parents. I suck at juggling balls but ask me to juggle my kids, and their school activities and their homework and meals and everything else that comes with kids and i can put on quite the show lol
Anyhow people that think single parents are not dating material .. well you don't know what you're missing because we are amazing people! My hat goes off to all parents that are single and making it on their own, i'm right there with yah!
before i go .... There's nothing like tucking your kids to bed at night and them looking at you and saying "I love you to infinity and back mom" or them saying "wait mom one more kiss... a butterfly kiss" now how many single people out there know what a butterfly kiss is??? | |
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~KC~
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 10:12:10 AM | chantilly4.. good for you for establishing your priorities as such.. anyone who cannot understand that.. is not worth that sort of attention. Yes.. single parents are amazing people for there is more determination at getting it right than most.
I may not have kids of my own (jury still out on that) but I do know what a butterfly kiss is.. they are awesome!
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 10:40:22 AM | Chantilly.
What a sweetie pie you are. Yes I know butterfly kisses from many children. Latest from 3 year old Ruby my grand daughter.
I also know about that juggling act. A Mother is more than a person~She's a fulltime, miracle-working Angel. We have to be. I did it and now I watch my daughter. How incredible to be able to live to see it all.
Love your post! Carol. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 11:21:32 AM | | Aren't they cool ?? my daughter (she's 8) before bed she gives me a "super duper hug" (she basically sqeezes the poop out of you) then it's a regular kiss, then an eskimo kiss then a butterfly kiss. Makes whatever poop rolled your way that day all worth it because you get to end it on such a beautiful amazing moment. And I tell ya no offence guys but no man in the world could make you feel so special. And if by chance I ever meet someone that makes me feel like that i'm locking him in my house! lol just kidding i'll just handcuff him to the couch lol | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 11:24:09 AM | Thanks Ruby
I have to go play referee now my angels are fighting over something lol | |
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guyrob
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Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 19 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 2:36:19 PM | | I teach kids everyday and I think they are funny, smart, honest, and a blessing. Mostly these are the little ones. Once they get to Grade 7 or 8, things change a bit. But if you get along with the person's kids great, then don't let having kids stop you. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/22/2005 5:13:42 PM | here is my take on this curls....
as I see it...when you get involved with someone and feelings begin to form and they get deeper and deeper for that person, to me..if they have children..that, is a a bonus. children of his mean that they are small pieces of him...and if you have feelings for him, then how could you not for his children?? a man who feels you are capable of being with his children is one who trusts you implicitly and is stating that you do mean a great deal to him.
i say it is to your benefit to do so! | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 5/29/2005 9:46:51 AM | Being a single parent I actually look for the same in a woman, this shows that they are understanding and have alot to offer. Being with kids and sharing that with a woman is total satisfaction for me.
There are women out there that would rather have a single guy with no kids so she can have her own family .... there is nothing wrong with that, but they are missing out on all the good ones. | |
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DNT38
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Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 7/2/2005 8:20:33 AM | This is a bit of an old thread but I just wanted to say something (took awhile to find it too).
Being the father of a teenage daughter, dating someone with children was never really an issue with me. Looking for someone in my age group almost gaurantees that they have had some kind of extended relationship in their past and most likely have children. I 'would' have preferred someone with children about the same age as mine and that way we are both in pretty much the same position in the way of freedom, school activities, possible family outings.... etc.
Having said that...it was only a preference. Last night I had the pleasure of attending our local fireworks celebrations in the company of not only my new found friend but also with her 3yr old daughter. And I can honestly say that I had a great time. Although I couldn't see myself having anymore children of my own, I truly enjoyed an evening out in the company of such a sweet little girl and it really brought back some memories of when my daughter was that age..... we had fun.
My friend was a little bit nervous about bringing her daughter because for some reason she thought that although I am definitely interested in her, I may not enjoy the company of her child. I made it quite clear that I'm interested in the whole package deal...which consists of her, her daughter and whatever history there may be. I'm not saying that I'm quite ready to jump into a father figure position again, cause I'm obviously not the childs father, but being with someone who has a child doesn't bother me one little bit.
Just wanted to bring this single parent issue back into the conversations as most of us are single parents....and it may be an issue with some of the newer members in our local chatting community. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 7/2/2005 9:47:43 AM | Nothing wrong with single mom's, the love and attention a mother gives to her children as an indication of what she has to offer for the right man.
The problem seems to come with the relationship she was in, if she left an over-bearing, controlling man this can be a major problem to over come. I have dated a few and it seems they are not able to handle a man who doesn't expect to be waited on hand and foot.
I'm not a "get me this type of person", I'm more of a "would you like" type. Don't get me wrong I like to be pampered at times, but I also like to pamper.
They can't seem to handle a person who is interested in them and how thier day went.
I'm like to think of myself as kind and caring, this seems to be a hard thing for them to accept. I have heard the phrase too many times "tihs is hard for me, I have never had anyone who wanted to do anything for me, it was always me doing for them"
Well all you single mom's out there, there are lots of nice, caring single men around out there, who don't want to be waited on, who are willing and looking for a lady to share lifes up and downs....
As for raising kids, well i have 2 grown kids and I think they turned out just great, I am very proud of them......I like to think we raised them by example and guidance, not by telling and demanding......and this can be accomplished with any child whether your the biological parent of not..... | |
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DNT38
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Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 7/2/2005 10:21:57 AM | SpudRunner
I agree totally that there seems to be an awful lot of women out there who seem to be in that mindset that was somewhat forced on to them from a previous relationship. They had to be the doer/providor of most enjoyable situations or had to get or do for another, and they find it difficult when they are now confronted with someone who wants to do for them. They think that the relationship may be moving to fast if they notice the guy is willing to make compromises or goes out of his way to make her feel good...and some of them then get scared off.
To all the women out there....there are plenty of us guys out here who are more then willing to be the one you lean on when needed, more then happy to help out with little/big chores around the house, enjoy doing things with kids and quite willing to provide pleasure to YOU before seeing to our own satisfaction. Its up to you to realize that you need to be pampered every once in awhile and that there are some truly nice guys out here who are more then ready to do that pampering, Stop running to the ones that treat you like crap...and start looking around for the ones that will treat you the way you deserve. | |
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| Dating Single Parents
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:12:41 AM | | I not only dated a single mother of 3 children for 5 years but we also lived together. | |
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