| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:58:15 AM | ok this isnt about me.. its about a friend but she wants advice n im not sure what to tell her... she was wit this guy rite. they dun they thang n decided to be friends.. ( i think he used her n now feels bad) but yeah.. now like a munt on she turns out pregnant.. she told him but he wants her to get rid of it but she doesnt want to.. shes totali against abortions and do not have the heart to do it..
personally i think she shud just tell the guy he can b there or not shes having it regardless.. but she thinks shes bein selfish.. n he even told her that..
i mean one of them will get there own way and the other not.. since its her body i think she should do what she wants.. wut do yall think? | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:10:43 AM | she is the one that has to live with the decision she makes... and if she can't have an abortion emotionally... then she shouldn't have one...
BUT.... she also should not go after dude for child support or visitation... since she is choosing to have a baby he has said he doesn't want.... | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:23:19 AM | Tough situation. Abortion is a very hot-button topic, and personal opinion is just that - personal.
I have to agree with iiceiice. He's said he doesn't want it, so I'm not sure it would be entirely fair to go after him for support. On the other hand, he does have to assume some responsibility for his actions. Perhaps she could make some kind of amicable arrangement with him.
As for the having of an abortion, that's her decision. I don't know how old she is, but she has to realize that bringing a child into the world is a very taxing business, especially if you're doing it alone. She had best be prepared to give up much of the freedom she currently enjoys, and take responsibility for the child. If she's not up to that, then she had best start cnosidering alternatives, such as abortion or adoption or what have you.
Best of luck to her. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:43:43 AM | | well if it was me personaly i have an abortion anyway cause i believe every woman has one chance to get rid of a mistake. But if she really isn't ready emotionly or totally against abortion then she should have the baby but don't force it on the guy since he made it clear she was used for a booty call by telling her "get rid of it" because she could probably find a better guy who willingly be there for her and the child to support it too. The other guy will probable cause lots of problems for her and getting child support will be hard to since he will probable tell her he won't have anything to do with the child if its from a hook up. she should at least try to find a guy willing to accept the child not the guy who will ignore her and the child. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:48:42 AM | | She should have it or she will hate him for the rest of her life! I have been in a similar position but i don't want to write about it here. You can msg me if you like, i don't have restrictions. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:50:11 AM | To have a child for no reason other than you do not believe in abortion is wrong.
Is she ready to be a parent? Is she educated enough to be able to support herself and the baby? Or is she planning on being a welfare mom? Does she realize that this will be a life altering event for her, most of her friends will not have kids and be able to do things and go places while she sits home and listens to a screaming kid? Lot's of resentment towards an innocent baby can build up. It can lead to a dangerous situation. If she is not responcible enough to keep her knees together or use birth control then she needs to consider adoption, an unprepared young Mom and a deadbeat Dad is no enviornment to raise a child. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:50:40 AM |
She should have it or she will hate him for the rest of her life! I have been in a similar position but i don't want to write about it here. You can msg me if you like, i don't have restrictions.
hey it sed i cnt msg u cuz ov my age n gender :( | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:59:14 AM | | At the end of the day its the girls choice. If he's man enough to get you in the situation he should be man enough to face up to is responsibility and deal with what he's made rather than take the easy way out and kill an innocent child because hes too tight to buy a packet of condoms! Tell him to live up to his mistakes and it's your choice and that whether he like it or not your gonna have the baby and he need to dust the cobwebs off his wallet and start payin for summat if he cant pay for condoms! | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:07:28 AM | | what about adoption...why does it have to be life or death...if she has the baby and gives it up to a family that has a mom and dad and they cant have kids...those parents would love that baby and it would never go without. I have a neice that is adopted and she was the miracle my brother and sis needed because my sis in law cant have kids...I just cant believe only one other person has said adoption | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:09:51 AM | It's her body she can do what she wants.
Although, having a child is a huge responsibility so if she's not old enough in the mature sense of things or even financially stable then probably not the best idea to keep it.
Secondly, the fact I had to concentrate on what the hell you were actually typing made me laugh. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:11:17 AM | | Can you write proper English so it's more readable ? | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:14:58 AM |
if she's not old enough in the mature sense of things or even financially stable then probably not the best idea to keep it.
Sure, why not. Dispose it off. Flush it down the toilet. Abortion is after all fail-safe contraception. | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:17:09 AM |
Sure, why not. Dispose it off. Flush it down the toilet. Abortion is after all fail-safe contraception.
We should really avoid the debate about the morality of abortion. That's not the point here.
(btw, there were two of us that suggested adoption...)
:) | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:18:37 AM |
To have a child for no reason other than you do not believe in abortion is wrong.
Are you serious? I am pro-choice, but I would never tell someone that if they decide not to have an abortion just "because they do not believe in it" is wrong! That's just like a pro-life person saying that because you believe in abortion, you are a murderer. It really is the same thing.
There is such a thing as having the baby and placing in a loving home environment with two parents. Abortion is not the only solution. | |
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| she got pregnant
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:20:24 AM | I do not get it.
If she is totally against abortions, why did she agree to have unprotected sex with the guy (even if she was not against, she still should have insisted on use of condom)! | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:20:36 AM | At end of day it is her decision ultimetely.
However i am pro abortion and i cant see why a young woman on her own would want to become a parent on her own after a mistake.
Thats my view.
To me a baby isnt a baby till it arrives. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:21:05 AM | lol flush it down the toilet?? 
the kinda comments i didnt want | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:32:26 AM | "BUT.... she also should not go after dude for child support or visitation... since she is choosing to have a baby he has said he doesn't want.... "
what a load of crap!
if he really didnt want to be a father then he shouldnt have done what it takes to get a child! DUH! please spare me the platitudes about "protection". there is only one failsafe method of not getting pregnant, and neither one of them exercised that option.
RESTRAINT!
so now you are suggesting that this child pay the price for these two idiots just because she didnt think thru her decision to spread her legs beforehand and he didnt think thru his decision to screw her?
regardless of what these two morons wanted, this child deserves to be supported financially by both of them. they owe the chid that much, and more!
from what you say of your friend, and this guy, the best thing for that child would be to give it to someone who doesnt see her/him as a result of a mistake. let someone who actually wants kids, have the baby. if you are any indication of the level of intelligence of this girls friends, or her, best thing would be to give that baby up for adoption. omg your grammar is atrocious! | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:35:29 AM | hunni you know what i think coz we had a good old chat about it & we both know the right choice is being made ...... this is for the non-eductated peeps up in here....
:modhammer:
whats up with ya'll?? most of these posts for example Mojo's, are good replies as this is just a forum thread asking personal opinions on one topic..... however some of ya'll like Rex-King should not be allowed to talk to people, let alone in public like this i mean dayum there is a thing called TACT and over-steppin y0.....
as mojo said, this is personal opinions and as people we are all entitled to them....
but if ya gonna use the thread to be a twat about this then just go somewhere else....
Someone is asking for genuine help on a personal level and talking about failsafe's and toilets is just showing that you do not have the emotional maturity to make comments about it, least of all make a decision like this!! And no, i am not being a preacher from something i know nothing about....
This girl is a good girl and is just asking for help, and she deserves the same respect as anyone else in need...... | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:37:51 AM | ^^^"a Baby isn't a Baby till it arrives"?!? mygod.... aside from pro-'choice' or pro-LIFE ANYthing, have you never taken and Human Biology classes? i'm glad your parents didn't think that about YOU....   OP: your friend needs Nuetral Professional counsel.... she needs to NOT make an Impulsive decision,... she does not have to keep/raise the Child herself, as there are Thousands of couples/Single People who would love to Adopt/Raise her Child!    | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:49:06 AM | It's her body, her baby but his child support or the state's.
So, given Roe vs. Wade, .......
Of course he waived his rights when he did not use a condom! | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:49:50 AM | CAROLANN0308
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID NOT SAY
""To have a child for no reason other than you do not believe in abortion is wrong. """
YOU LOOK AT LIFE AS ""nothing""??? THE BABY INSIDE HERE DID NOT ASK TO COME INTO THIS WORLD AND AGREED ATHEY WERE BOTH VERY SELFISH IN DOING WHAT THEY DID
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
THE BABY IS ALIVE AND YOU CAN NOT KILL HE OR SHE BECAUSE OF YOUR MISTAKEN JUDGEMENT | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:53:49 AM | ^^^"of course He waived his rights when he did not use a condom"...BULLSHIT!!!
the Op's friend and her sex partner BOTH had sex and they BOTH created Life... *sigh* Hugs to all anyway   | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:56:30 AM | i am pro abortion and i cant see why a young woman on her own would want to become a parent on her own after a mistake.
i hear ya on that because if you know you won't be happy with the child or even giving it up for adoption..why keep it and cause yourself more problems in the future rather than flushing it so you can actually continue your life and work on your goals and dreams without the baggage
To me a baby isnt a baby till it arrives.
and yes its very true its not a baby till it arrives....as long as its inside the stomack it doesn't count unless you want it to. | |
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| she got pregnant!
Posted: 11/4/2007 11:56:47 AM | ^^^"of course He waived his rights when he did not use a condom"...BULLSHIT!!!
the Op's friend and her sex partner BOTH had sex and they BOTH created Life... *sigh* Hugs to all anyway
The "life" is living not upon conception but after a few weeks! Roe vs Wade.
SB!
Or is a sperm life so it should not be "wasted" via JOs or BJs?
And how about all those lives being wasted due to the nature of the health care - insurance system? Or the elderly's? Selective sensitivities? | |
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