| building confidence with expressing emotion
Posted: 11/4/2007 4:34:48 PM | my 5 year old hasnt a problem with expressing the way he feels with me.... but he does with his dad.
he tends to bottle it up with his dad as he (son) has told me that he is too scared to say how he truly feels to his dad incase his dad disappears again.... with him being angry / upset with and disappointed by his dad he takes it out on me... which i dont have a problem with as i have been dealing with this from day dot....
i have told my ex all this last week as he cancelled twice in 3 days after promising and hyping our son he is going to be there on 2 different occasions... it just seems to go in one ear and out the other with him... and he tells me why are you telling me this you trying to make me feel even worse then i do already....and tries to put a guilt trip back on me ( doesnt work) i have also told him that seeing as our son is too scared to say what his true emotions with him are in fear of dad disappearing again ( has a habit of bailing when it gets too hard or has to face what he has done when questioned) that i will fight to have our sons voice heard by his dad... i dont think he took anything in as he normally doesnt if it doesnt benefit him.
i have told my son that is its ok to be angry upset and feel let down by either one of us at one time or another... but he has to tell us how he is feeling so we wont do it again or can talk about it to come to a understanding as to why.... with telling him this he says he is just too scared to tell his father... but is ok with taking out all his emotions on me ( as i have said i am ok with it)...i want his dad to start being a parent and experience what most of us go thru by experiencing the ups and the downs....i know i cant make him do it or change as he is who he is but he needs to stop making promises he knows he cant keep. but the dad and his way isnt the issue here as thats another story in itself.
so how do you encourage your child to express how he/she feels with the other parent without living in fear of them disappearing again or feeling like the child has upset or let down the parent coz the child isnt happy all the time?
i just want my little boy to have the confidence to express himself with his dad... as he has a real problem there and other issues that scream confused child in relation to his dad... he doesnt have a problem expressing himself to anyone else... hes rather open and honest... its just his dad. | |
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