| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 7:49:18 PM | I thought I might as well ask. I have an idea what I'm going to get, and this could result with a bunch of "Duh!" answers.
Do you value being nice to people, and a good person?
So many threads about looks, weight, is this slutty, are you intimidated by my AWESOMENESS?, "He's obviously cheating on me, I need an outside opinion before I can make up my mind. What do I do?", and even questions about "What do you think?"
But I have to ask, where's the love?
Does your beauty or wasitline take a higher priority than trying to be nice and friendly to people, especially the guy you're with? I'm honestly curious if this is something that's valued in yourself. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 7:52:49 PM | My religious beliefs require that I strive to be nice to people. That I treat everyone as my kin. Does this mean I am nice all the time, even to those that hurt me? Of course not. I am human and I make mistakes. I react in pain and anger when I am hurt.
However, I do value being nice to people. If I expect others to be nice to me, then I must be nice to them. Even strangers that I happen to see on the street/in the store. Personally I think if more people took this value to heart and tried being nice to those around them, this world would be a better place.
My personal looks, the looks of whoever I might end up with, my waistline.. they are not as important as how I treat those around me.  | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 7:59:26 PM |
are you intimidated by my AWESOMENESS?
Is that a bash on me????
Anywho, I feel that my one downfall and weakness is I'm TOO nice. For the longest time I let people step all over. I still do somewhat today. I've let many people, men and women alike use me and such. I'm a good person because thats the way I was raised and I should be. If everyone hated each other and wasn't nice, we'd all basically be dead from murders.
And no, my beauty doesn't take priority because well...I lack beauty | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:00:20 PM |
Do you value being nice to people, and a good person?
I value being a good person over being nice to people. I'll be nice initially, but I'm no doormat and have no qualms about being not so nice when that's what's been earned by a recipient through actions or words.
It's like respect. I will show respect at first, but that has a shelf life. Eventually my respect has to be earned for it to continue and grow. Likewise being nice.
Now... if someone is blatantly rude or stupid, all bets are off.  | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:02:52 PM | I value being nice to people.
VERY MUCH.
I never liked a jerk, not sure why guys think girls like jerks...maybe some do, but I can tell you myself and some of my gfs don't. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:13:10 PM | Not in men, in yourself. We can leave that niceguy/jerk thing alone for a while.
I realized, I'm most attracted to those who are good friendly people. Yet, it's VERY rare that I run into someone who actually makes the effort to do so, and is proud if it. There's "Look at me, I'm hot and sexy!" There's never "Look at me, I'm nice, friendly and don't start fights. I look at you lovingly and smile, and try to make compromises. I put my greed behind me because there's more to the world than my feelings!" Ok, I admit, it doesn't have the same punch.
HOLY SHIT! I'm a genius. If women want to blame the media for shoving fashion, makeup and diets down their throats, I'll come out with a competitor to Cosmo.
Instead, I'll market media to instill competition to be good people. I'll set it up in ways so that it's saintly and unobtainable! There's a new complex for you! In clubs around the world, women will not compete for fashion and looking good, but they'll be tripping over themselves with being polite good people. I think I could live with that. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:20:30 PM | Being nice is being wise, a wise person is nice and firm.
I believe there are more nice people than those aren't.
Good luck on finding a nice /wise woman. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 9:07:45 PM | Depends on whether or not others value being nice.
Honestly... I think those who do value such a thing are in short supply. I treat people how they treat me. I'd prefer to be nice, but too many deserve little beyond apathy from me.
I'd rather just be a good person. I think I'm a generally good person, but I'm certain there's shades of not-so-nice, too. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 9:41:01 PM | I'm nice in public. Not online, because it's my outlet, and not always to my boyfriend, because I was raised to be mean (literally) and I can't keep up the "nice" thing 24/7 with someone who's constantly getting in my way. If the guy is constantly in my feet or talking to me or needing feeding or grooming or walking or petting or whatever and I can't get the things done that I want to, I get very very impatient. Same with the dog, but my dog learned that a long time ago; if I'm busy, she plays with a bone. So this is part of why I don't want men in the house anymore. I can be nice to a guy for a whole date and probably a whole camping trip if he's a good camper. I can't always be nice to a guy who lives in my house.
As to being a good person, my experience is that this scores no points whatsoever in two areas: work, and relationships. I have friends because they think I'm a good person; I've never had a man or a job because someone thought I'm a good person. In fact, one guy as he was leaving me said "you're such a good person, I wish I'd done some crack so you would have kicked me out, instead of me having to leave you." O... K... Whatever you say.  | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:01:05 PM | | It is valued greatly. I sometimes get guys that are nice to me but not others and they don't understand why I'm turned off. They think I should be happy because they treat me well. I want a nice person, not just someone who treats me well. Is this a difficult concept? | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:06:51 PM | I read furthar on. You mean we girls. Yes you're gonna yet, "Duh!" We are allotted a few days of grumpiness per month though. God said so. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/6/2007 11:54:22 PM |
I realized, I'm most attracted to those who are good friendly people. Yet, it's VERY rare that I run into someone who actually makes the effort to do so, and is proud if it. There's "Look at me, I'm hot and sexy!" There's never "Look at me, I'm nice, friendly and don't start fights. I look at you lovingly and smile, and try to make compromises. I put my greed behind me because there's more to the world than my feelings!" Ok, I admit, it doesn't have the same punch. Do you do this yourself, OP and do you truly respect it in others or just see them as "soft" "weak" or "doormats"? Because if you aren't a gentle soul yourself, if you have a smidge of the selfish manipulator about you, having learned that "nice is good" you'll probably continue meeting people who are nice because they want to be liked and feel that behaving nicely entitles them to be thought well of, rather than those who are nice because it reflects their core values. There's a huge difference between the person who puts you first because to her, you are first and the one who acts like she puts you first because she wants t be seen to be good and expects a reward for it. There's also a huge difference between the man who appreciates someone who has a compassionate and loving heart and the man who appreciates someone being compassionate and loving to him. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:29:43 AM |
Do you do this yourself, OP and do you truly respect it in others or just see them as "soft" "weak" or "doormats"?
I don't think that way at all. Yes, there is a point where core values are sacrificed, and that line shouldn't be crossed.
Because if you aren't a gentle soul yourself,
I typically am. Perhaps a gloomy gentle soul, but more gentle than most.
if you have a smidge of the selfish manipulator about you
Crap! But just a smidge. Honest.
I'm still wearing my smiting armor, aren't I?
having learned that "nice is good" you'll probably continue meeting people who are nice because they want to be liked and feel that behaving nicely entitles them to be thought well of, rather than those who are nice because it reflects their core values.
Actually, I meet tough people. Tough guys, tough women. I'm a fan of neither. I'm anti-macho, and that goes for both genders.
There's also a huge difference between the man who appreciates someone who has a compassionate and loving heart and the man who appreciates someone being compassionate and loving to him.
Wait, I'm not seeing this difference.
I guess what I should have asked is, where on the list of priorities does it fall? Yes, most can say they value it, but what I was trying to get at is, is it something that you actively work at and think about? | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:42:48 AM | Another good variant on this question would be:
When you meet someone new, do you spend more time trying to be really nice to them to show what a great person you are, or thinking about whether they are being nice to you to see if they meet your standards? | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 2:43:19 AM | | Not since i said to a woman at work she has a nice dress and she made a sexual harassment complaint, now i dont compliment women and am deciding its best not to be a gentleman anymore, anywhere :S | |
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Oriole
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Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 2:57:43 AM |
Yes, most can say they value it, but what I was trying to get at is, is it something that you actively work at and think about?
If you put it that way: yes. Yes it is. | |
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 3:10:40 AM | | well, i'm nice enough to a point, but it doesn't have a very long shelf life, I react the same way the other person is reacting to me. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 4:11:08 AM | I'm super nice in real life. In fact, people are often afraid to swear around me, which surprises me because I'm not a prude at all. They just think "oh, well, she's so good we have to be uptight." At least that's true at work. But even amongst my friends they'll tell a good story then say, "Oh, sorry you had to hear that," which is hilarious considering I was married to a cross dressing crack addict. I mean, I've seen it all...
I use the forums as an outlet for my inner hellion.
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:08:54 AM | | Everyday I am nice to everyone, no matter what. I go out of my way to make everyone I talk to or run into daily to try and put a smile on their face and see if they need anything in the way of support or help to make their day a little easier. I think it's a scare thing this days as ppl are way to worried about me me me syndrome, which is very sad. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:30:20 AM | What type of person would value their appearance and waist size over being respectful and mannerly toward others? Yes, being polite, kind, compassionate and friendly are extremely important attributes that I value in myself. They are hallmark traits of good character. I don’t have to actively work and think about being nice to others, because it is second nature to me; like breathing and blinking.
Duh. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:39:59 AM | yes i do. im easy to be around, im friendly. its in my nature. until you cross that line and piss me off. =)
no but really, i find it even easier to be nice when i take a step back from some ppl who don't seem so nice.
like if someone is in one of their moods, i try not to take it personally and remember that there are most likely several factors that got them to this point of being in a grumpy mood. i don't judge.
i was in fortinos last week with my son, going thru the cash....the chashier was told to take one more customer (after me) and then put her "closed" sign up.
well, a mother came around into the lane with about 4 kids hanging off her cart - JUST as the cashier was about to tell her "you are my last customer" - the lady grunted and pulled her cart away and started yelling...the cashier was so offended, i could see it in her eyes. another co-worker who had seen what happened came up and started b!tching. i piped up and defended the mother. who knows what kind of day she had? i told her i would probably have done the same thing if i had 4 kids hanging (literally, all over the cart)...they both kind of looked at me, heads tilted. i told them not to let it get to them, their shifts were almost over anyways...
DON'T JUDGE!!! be nice. KARMA!! | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:53:42 AM | Yet, it's VERY rare that I run into someone who actually makes the effort to do so, and is proud if it.
I think that you are probably meeting more of these people than you think because if it is who they are they dont "see" it the same way. I think if you are a nice person it is just as much a part of you as your hair or your feet and how much time do you spend pondering on your feet? They are just there and you accept them as your feet and not as something special and certainly dont look for validation of how beautiful your feet are.... Does that make sense?
Also I think that many nice people have learned to adjust their behaviour in certain situations as being nice can become a heavy burden sometimes as there are many takers out there looking for someone to use to their advantage. But when you get to spend time with these people you will see who they really are. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:59:26 AM | I very much value being nice to people and a good person, with two caveats;
1) When it comes to women, sometimes they are just looking for support for something they know is a bad choice. You're left with no option that feels "nice". Being a "good" person doesn't mean always agreeing with them; in fact, sometimes it means telling them something you know they don't want to hear. And that's very hard to do because a person with a genuinely good heart hurts just as much as the person hearing it! If it feels good to say something negative, even if it needs saying, there's something wrong.
2) With regards to men, sometimes, I'd rather forget that many find me attractive and wish they would just find me a kind, caring, and interesting person. Being nice is often taken as interest that isn't there and you almost have to be mean to discourage it. I hate that!
So, yes. I genuinely care about others, and strive to be nice, but sometimes it's actually very hard in cases where it could be misconstrued. | |
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| Do you value being nice to people?
Posted: 11/7/2007 8:12:54 AM | I value that I am a kind curteous, compassionate empathetic person....its actually a big part of my job.....I would hate to see a person with no empathy try to do what we do in our jobs in any health care field....I've seen it infact and it isn't pretty.
I also value sticking up for myself and not being a push over...so I know when I'm being taken advantage of and say NO. Sometimes people who are good people are easily manipulated...and taken advantage of...I'm trying not to be on of those people.
My Beauty and my waist line certianly are not more important to me than being considered a good friend, hard worker and someone that can lend a helping hand if needed. | |
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