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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/10/2007 5:10:03 AM | Well I have been in Washington now for nearly five months. There are some trashy areas, there are some nice areas, and there are some splendid views :).
It seems like some of the military community (especially on the single enlisted side) have made such a bad impression on the citizen side of the house (which is a shame).
So heres a question for some of the women out there...Is it an instant "no-go" when you see a military guy? Is it a "go"? What are some of the things some of us can do to improve the situation? What are some things we could do to make a good first impression? We are pretty much walking into a losing battle as it is. 
Women here seem overly cautious of Mil-guys out here, which I could totally agree with hands down. So i am just curious on a womens response to the situation.
By no means is this a pity thread. By far, a self development survey to push some of us in the right direction. 
Well, toss up a response. I'm just curious. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/10/2007 11:34:20 AM | | I think it's the man in the uniform that truly matters! Some women may shy away because they're not sure if you're gonna around. You may be deployed or transferred to another location. So some may see military guys as a risk when the heart is on the line. But on the other hand ... there are those of us who love a guy in a uniform! So don't give up so soon! You never know what a day will bring! | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:50:37 PM | X Navy wife here
Ummmm, EveryOne who ~KNOWS~ me was Astonished that i Married a 'WarMonger'
(so Many yrs Ago)
POINT: some Will be Attracted TO a 'man in uniform'-For...his Uniform
Some will be Repelled By...BeCause of what the uniform 'represents'
Moi? i Look at/~SEE~ People
for who/what/etc THEY ARE
there ARE certain 'lifestyle' aspects that Some are Not Strong enough/dont care to Endure
(military life)
Some relish the notion of 'space'
just depends-like so much in life
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:29:20 AM | My personal feelings are.. MEN IN UNIFORM ARE HOT!!
I was married to a navy man for 17 years. He really pissed me off when he got out.
Don't be afraid to send me a message. I love Army or Navy or any hot uniform that there is.. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/18/2007 4:09:36 PM | Just like any military area, there's a TON of tag chasers looking for a free ride outta town via your BAH and good 'ol Tri Care. Then, there's the women out there who know realistically the concept of what a military spouse/girlfriend is and do NOT want to sign up for that duty. And even fewer are that are the ones who know what they'd sign up for, ARE NOT out there for your tags and oh so wonderful *roll eyes here* paychecks, and can handle being loyal and faithful (as long as you don't take any of those tennis balls in Austrailia) and supportive during your times of deployment and your times in port. The good ones are just hard to find no matter where you go. Good luck!!  | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:48:43 PM | | I personally would never date or be involved with anyone in the military. Nothing about it attracts me physically with the look or mentally. But then I'm an odd cookie. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/24/2007 1:39:36 PM | military guys a already married to and owned by the government. As a woman in his life you will always be 2nd until there are children then you be 3rd.
My experience has been that they don't show up, expect instant sex, lie, think women are stupid & will believe whatever bull s- - - they make up for excuses. Needless to say I do NOT ever date military men no matter how charming they come off as. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 11/25/2007 5:35:37 PM | | I personally think military guys are pretty sexy! I love their sense of sacrifice and need to protect. I don't see how any women would not find that attractive!! I think a lot of times they come across as untouchable though. A lot of people assume they are married or have a girlfriend, or they travel in packs! :P | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/1/2007 11:47:19 AM | I used to think military men was a go till a military man contacted me...through another dating site. He said he was stationed in Iraq at the time but will be home in 4 months. He called often, we instant messaged each other daily and I was looking forward to meeting him. Then a week out I wrote him and his account was closed. I was a bit baffled and a little worried. Come to find out...that he was outed on Dontdatehimgirl hompage. I guess he was talking to several women and promising them all relationships when he got home....he was talking to us all just to bide his time and a couple of them, he got to send him care packages...we are talking almost a thousand dollars worth!
Im am sure there are decent military men out there...just be cautious and look for signs that hes a jerk. I have also read that their are lots of men who are cheating a lot though. I mean they are gone for over a year and a half...so I guess they might have a hard time keeping it their pants. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/11/2007 8:15:42 PM | Humm.....
Well, first off I think that Military men are just that...men. They come in various types of packages and it really comes down to how an individual acts and treats others that should be judged.
I myself have many friend's and family in the military and am acutely aware of the draw backs and the benefits. I think the best advice I could give you is be honest and give as much information to the woman you date so that she comes into the relationship eyes wide open. In any relationship, women want security and stability. (Unless it's a night spent between the sheets with no look towards tomorrow.) The military life is much different than civilian life. It has the stablity of always having a paycheck and a roof over your head, life without layoffs or rent increases but, with that comes the possibility of having to ship out to lands unknown whether it's across the US, across the globe or to a conflict zone like Iraq or Afganistan. My best friend, has done two tours already and is probably going to ship out for another soon, it's a heartwrenching rollercoaster until they finally come home. Any partner should be aware and ready for that commitment. I would say look for the woman that are genuinely interested in you and not in your uniform, one that accepts the benefits and the draw backs because in any relationship we have to determine what we will accept and overlook the drawbacks when the benefits out weigh them.
Also, be honest with her about how long you plan on staying in too, 4 years is very different than retireing in twenty! | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:20:14 AM | | personally.. any guy whos not in the milatary, or haven't been, have to be extremely extrodinary to get me to even look. I LOVE the uniforms, everything they do and stand for. basically i look at any guy in the milatary.. and i think "why is he single?" but then again im a huge all-american type of girl. so military guys, definately a go. as for a good first impression, i dont think its any different than anything else. dress well (no stains.. yes i know they get stained a lot lol), be sweet, and yourself, and dont hold back. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/12/2007 1:14:18 PM | Hello
there are a lot of women who are scared of the Military lifestyle.....I believe it's because of the fear of the unkown... many women do not grow up miltary and don't understand the aspects of being with someone who will be gone for up to 15 months depending on mos. (type of job They also wonder if they end up liking a soldier what if he has to move out of state... (which is inevitable) and they get serious and marry...theyd be away from their famalies ect to some strange state? Kids? I could go on, as many of my friends have voiced their worries....
Then theres these woman who get involved with military and go around telling horror stories and blame it on the military when it could be just a normal relationship issue and him being Army has nothing to do with it.......so women hear "military" they go AHHHHHHH when in fact it could be ANY guy.
Anywho I believe it takes a certain type of woman to deal with military life. See, I don't care what the man's job is...because I grew up Navy and most of my guy friends are Army including my best friend and I have to deal with them being deployed for 15 months...It was 6 months and they changed iton them ...but my best friend and others are home... however; more left this summer....
Don't get me started on those tag chasers.............I am continually making sure my military friends are not dating any of those ^#^#$.
Keep your chin up, there is the right one out there for you.
Also, thank you........... : : | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/21/2007 4:06:52 PM | passionandfire,
I think that no one can judge a book by it's cover that goes for men and women both. I have met people who are wolves in sheep's clothing and I have met others who are sheep in wolves' clothing. The most important thing I believe is for people to be themselves, when someone puts on an act or a front sooner or later that person resorts back to their true self.
I have met and even dated a handful of men the last few years after my divorce both military and non-military. I've made some good friends, met some neat people and also met some that I no longer talk with for one reason or another, good, bad or indifferent.
I grew up through the 1980's so I'm not into the latest trends. I like to be treated with respect, truth and honesty, the same way I treat someone I date.
For me, what I find attractive is someone who is real, who likes to go out and have fun but also knows how to be serious when need be. A man who is not afraid to go out and dance with his lady, show her affection in public and also who's confident telling people that he cares for the women he is with. I also think that it's important for a woman to treat men with the same respect.
I hope you've had luck so far. Have a safe and happy holiday season. Stay safe out there.
Last but not leastly thank you for your service to our country and for the sacrifices you have made to protect the freedoms we Americans enjoy. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/21/2007 8:45:12 PM | | I have been a military girlfriend and a military wife. It is no picnic for a variety of reasons, i. e., wars, deployment, and separations for various reasons. For years I stayed away from military men for those reasons. It is a tough life. I do not consider myself overly cautious but I would not go out of my way to develop a relationship with a military man. By the way, I work at a military installation and know many good men but I am not inclined to be involved in anything more than a friendship. I have a lot of respect for them, what they do for this country and respect for the women who chose to be their spouses but I have been there and done that. They are the bread and butter of this community. They work and train under tough circumstances. I have never gotten a bad impression from them. For the most part, they are courteous, respectful and when they are here, thankful to be home enjoying what this country has to offer. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:46:23 PM | | I've lived the majority of my life near Fort Lewis. Unfortunately, you're right. Many people in the surrounding communities have a negative opinion of soldiers. Even soldiers have negative opinions about other soldiers. I currently work in the law enforcement field alongside a fair amount of retired Air Force, Army, Navy & Marines. They tell me not to date military guys! A couple of years ago, I met a MSG that I dated for almost a year. He also didn't like other soldiers all that much and we rarely went places that were frequented by lot of military guys. While we were dating, people at work kept telling me to be careful and teasing me about him becoming violent/lying/cheating and stuff like that. I ignored all of that and thought I had a pretty good thing. He had a good career, 20 years in, nice rank, home owner, responsible, confident, masculine, etc. A very attractive man by all accounts. However, the lying/cheating thing did become a factor. I hate that he proved some of the no-goers right however, I'm not the type to judge an entire group of people because of one man's actions. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:55:08 PM | | Dear Miss Thing, I am afraid most men out there are fearful any kind of intesity, loyalty, frankness or strength. The truly beautiful thing would be to find someone who loved us just the way we are. Truthful, strong, loyal, dependable, feminine, kind, loving women. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:15:36 AM | | I spent 24 years of my life in the Army and retired a Sergeant Major. I found that just about everywhere the military is...there is friction between the military and the civilians. There are towns that hate the military, but if they moved away...the town would probably fold. It is very true that a few servicemen do give the service a bad name with their actions. Please remember that not ALL service personnel are like the drunk ones you see on the street. Also remember that those folks in uniform are the ones that are keeping your freedoms intact. They are the ones that put their lives on the line for the freedoms that you now have. They fight for your freedoms. Honor them. Give them the respect that they so rightly deserve. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:24:04 PM | I definitely agree that there is a stigma about military guys in the civilian community, but it goes both ways.
Young, single, military guys, from what I have experienced and witnessed, have a tendency to cheat or be dishonest in relationships. I dont know if that comes from being in a testosterone driven environment all the time or the fact that their home isnt always stable (re-stationed, deployed, new to the area etc) - so they dont want the attachment...or they're just young men who do what a lot of young men do before they get ready to settle down. I think a lot of the negativity comes from the feeling of entitlement some of them give off for the behavior they express. As in, because they fight for the country, they're entitled to do just about whatever it is they want...and that can be applied to relationships or just bad behavior in general through out the community. Or their feeling of superiority - because they chose a potentially more dangerous job, they are of higher importance than civilians. To the people who teach their children and put out the fires the destroy their homes and catch the criminals that walk their streets - thats a slap in the face. I can see why there is resentment there.
While I dont think that behavior can be applied to ALL military guys, obviously, I think that the rule, "one person can ruin it for everyone" can definitely be applied here. Once you've been burned and/or seen someone else get burned by a specific group of people...you tend to shy away from them for your own safety.
On the other side of the fence there are good hearted military guys out there who get over looked by people because of their association with the military and thats unfortunate. I also know there is a large group of women followers who seek out military guys for dating/relationship purposes solely because military guys have a stable job and have the potential to have a stable career. I've known a woman or two like that, especially with the past few years of deployments, who have taken advantage of good people because they can. I can A) see where military guys have it just as hard to find a good companion and B) see where that would make someone weary of commitment.
I personally would consider dating a military guy because everyone is different and being in the military, to me, is a career path like any other. I dont think it should be used to dictate who someone is as a person. I would however be just as cautious getting into that relationship as I would any other. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:53:02 PM | Excellent point Lillyvon! You nailed that one!
Let me go on with this. Being the wife, or girlfriend of a military man is a very rough job. Duty station changes, deployment and all the other stuff that goes with the military can get a little hectic to say the least. In my career I saw a number of relationships and marriages fall apart because of this. Being attached to a military man ain't easy! Not by a long shot! During deployment there will be a lot of empty hours for both of the couple. This can and sometimes does lead to unfaithfullness. I've seen that happen a number of times. We are all Humans and we have our wants, needs and desires. It takes very special people to over rule those and stay away from cheating. I have counseled soldiers when they were straying away from a loved one.
Ask any military wife what it's like to be attached to the military. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:09:01 PM | I have not one single problem with military guys, because a job does not define a person. I refuse to engage in the hero-worship that seems to follow the military, but that doesn't mean I won't date a guy who is in the military. For some reason, I tend to prefer Coast Guard, Navy or Marines, but I think that may be my own preference for water coming into play there. If I'm going to start dating someone and it has the potential for long-term and moving, it'd BEST be to water. I don't think I'd not date a guy in the Army or Air Force, but I never have. As far as the belief that most military men cheat and deployments are when that happens most, I have no clue. I've had some great friendships with some of the guys at a base where I worked when I was in high school. One of the most memorable was a Marine who was married and missed his daughter's first birthday while he was on temporary duty assignment at our base. We got along great, and the last night he was there, I was going to a larger town about an hour away and invited him to come to dinner and a movie with me. He called his wife and checked in with her. She was fine with everything and told him he'd best be paying for either dinner or the movie and preferably both. I had to laugh. We were friends, and nothing more on either side.
I don't know how the guys stationed in WA do it, though. We have a massive military population around Puget Sound, with a ridiculous number of bases. Unfortunately they're all around Seattle, where the scene is good when you're happy single, but bad when you're unhappy single, from my understanding. Being just north of Portland has it's advantages.
From a long-term relationship perspective, I think many comfortable single women look at their jobs and how portable that job is when they consider whether or not to develop relationships with military men. The frequent relocation is a very much a barrier to some, and that's nothing to do with the member and everything to do with the military I have an incredibly portable job. Arguably, I have a job that is one of the easiest to leave one organization and pick up with another doing the exact same thing with no loss of benefits or pay. The last thing I'd want is involvement with a person who would cause me to lose hard-won professional ground as the relationship progressed. For us single gals, that matters!
Now I realize the military is not for life. I know that the members do get out and the transience will end, but while they're still in, that's always a possibility. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/1/2008 1:11:16 PM | I think I know what this all boils down to. A lot of people see the military guys and gals and they are rowdy and sometimes drunk. They associate ALL the military with them in other words...lumping all into one. I know, from personal experience, that after you spend a week in the field...sleeping on the ground and eating those ghastly MRE's and you get back to the base...you want to shower up, get loose and get some real food in your belly...and wash it down with a couple of beers. The problem is...a lot of guys don't know when to stop with the beer. They overdrink and get rowdy and create a scene. This is seen by civilians and the immediate thought is: "Oh shit! They are ALL like that!" This is pure ignorance! They always told us...."When you are among civilians...be proud of what you are and act in a respectable manner!"
Most military guys are cool with that, but there are a few that step over the line and create a scene. When a military person is among civilians and acts like they are at a Church Social....no one sees it. When they get drunk and rowdy....the whole world sees it! | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:46:11 PM | | As an active duty navy guy, my I never flaunt the unifrom, I refuse to wear it in public, I think its a rude thing to do unless its for some type of event or fundraiser or something. I am also a pretty attractive guy, the issue is, women see that I'm military, they see that I'm attractive and well spoken, instantly I must be a player. This is a seriously poor attitude on the civilian side, and because of this, I will openly say, I have not been with a woman, even dated, in around 2 years. I've gotten a few emails asking why I'm on this site, my reply, would you date me, if not then don't ask. Of course, I don't go out alot either, I've tried meeting people online a little bit but to no avail. When I do go out, I stand 6'7" and weigh around 300 lbs, as a multiple sport athlete, women and men both seeing a man of this stature, that they've only seen on television, can be highly intimidating, I tend to stay seated in bars rather than walk around so I'm more approachable and people don't see how tall I am. But I contribute the majority of my lack of success with the ladies due to my occupation. I totally agree that it comes down to the person, and anyone who points at the uniform because of someone's actions has alot of growing up to do. If a man or woman does something, it is not because they are in the military, its because their good or bad actions are who they are as a person. You are looking at an industry that employs hundreds of thousands of men and women, and by no means can you stereotype something that large. This is just my opinion. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:58:15 PM | | Sexybear101 - I disagree with you on not wanting to flaunt the uniform or wear it in public, and no it it is not a rude thing to wear the uniform in public. It shows you are proud to be part of the military. I spent 20 years in the Navy. Not once did I ever give it a second thought about wearing the uniform or not. By wearing the uniform every chance you get shows that you are proud of who you are, what you do, and what your country means to you. The way I look at it, if people don't like seeing a military member in uniform, that is their right to disagree; one of their rights that we as members of the armed forces guarantee when we wear the uniform, wear it with pride, and be willing to lay down our lives for the freedoms we all enjoy. | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:10:36 AM | | I am in full agreement with Hoppmeister! When one is a member of the service, one should wear the uniform proudly and present a respectable image for all to see. I know, from experience, that there are times when you don't want to wear the uniform, but as a service member you should. You are the guardians of the freedoms that this country has. Your heirtage comes from those who stood against the Brits at Bunker Hill and at New Orleans. Those who stood against the Army at Gettysburg. Those who stood against the Spaniards at San Juan Hill. Those who stood against the Germans in World War One and Two and those who stood against the Japanese in World War Two. And those who stood against the North Koreans in that war. You are from a long line of proud servicemen. Be proud of what you are and what you stand for. WEAR THAT UNIFORM PROUDLY! | |
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| Military guys a go or no-go in washington?
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:00:26 AM | I think there are two mindsets that would promote wearing a military uniform when not actually at work...
One is a pride in one's station in life and choices and a desire to show that outwardly with a larger show such as an entire uniform worn in public. The other is a belief that "I serve my country therefore I have the right to show this off to you and expect your instant gratitude and admiration for what I do as my job."
The first one can co-exist with the second one, but I've met people who wear it only for the second one. I'll admit I'm a Navy girl at heart, with a love of the ocean that won't end. I appreciate our military but refuse to engage in hero worship or give respect where none is returned, simply because they are military. I'm a Girl Scout in the Mariner tradition, but that doesn't mean I want to wear my Girl Scout pin everywhere. There are tactful ways to indicate that you're a service member without dressing out in full uniform, though. I realize that when you're in the military, they own you body and soul until you're done. That's a given, but thinking for one moment that just because someone is in the military they should WANT to wear their uniform everywhere is like assuming a doctor wants to wear scrubs everywhere because that's the career they've chosen. I think that wearing civvies and maybe not letting yourself turn into an embodiment of your job all the time is probably a nice healthy outlook, and promotes a solid work-life balance. That's something we can all get behind. :)
I'd say wear it or don't, but if you do, wear it for the right reasons. There's nothing quite like a soldier running around in fatigues just because he expects some stranger with extreme gratitude to buy him dinner. Now... Formal event and dress blues... Well that's a different story entirely and... whoa. Just whoa. | |
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