| | Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | Hello everybody
I had a look at many of the threads but since there are 300+ I stopped at 25. My question to everyone but especially the women on POF is weather or not to tell a woman right away about a desire to be a cuckold (if you don't know what that is look it up on Wikepedia, they have a decent explanation), or wait till the relationship is well established before confessing this desire. Of course I realise that by posing the question I may hurt my chances with my match pool but I really would like your advice and also to know if some women on the site are openly into cuckoldry and would like that in their relationship. For me its not just fantasy it's something I would like maybe not right away but the possibility somewhere down the line in the relationship. Thank you in advance for your input, cheers. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:38:13 PM | ok
#1 i hate it when i have to look something up
ofcourse i did and im going to post the def here so no one else has to do that
A cuckold is a married man whose wife has sex with other men. In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well, although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous.
Ok heres my opinion if you are looking for something fairly serious or whatever and you want this to be a strong possiblity as part of the relasionship the i say YES
you need to mention this right away
for me if i got envolved with someone and started developing feeelings for them then all the sudden they told me this i would be all wooo why didnt u say somthing about this to begin with
now i am one who is open minded and is willing to make decisions and do things that i normally dont do for my man but yes you need to say this right away
so atleast the women know what there getting into | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:44:38 PM | Good Evening OP,
Congratulations on your honesty and the courage to be upfront about your relationship needs and desires. Not withstanding the comments that you should seek this somewhere else, it is my experience that there will be a number of "closet cuckoldresses" who may be contacting you directly. In addition, this particular lifestyle preference along with it's cousins -- "Hotwives and slutwives" has become a more overt and growing paraphilia across the U.S.
You would likely have more luck at an adult site, but not necessarily. The fact that you are a "single-male" on those sites is likely more limiting than this one.
Perhaps the decision to make this known to a potential partner will be determined by the type of partner you are seeing. If she is a strong, dominant female who enjoys being in control, telling her earlier may be just the thing that will take the relationship to a different level. Since there are differences in how cuckoldry is practiced and you haven't made clear what category your preference falls, it may be difficult to locate the type of woman you are seeking. If you are into humiliation, particularly around penis size, then you are looking for a traditional cuckoldress. If humiliation is a small part or not a part, then you are looking more toward a "hotwife lifestyle" where the male is a participant either directly or indirectly without the humiliation aspect.
Your personal preferences will help in determining how quickly you will need to make this disclosure. Don't feel too alone in this preference. It is one of the largest and most popular paraphilias and is becoming more and more open in it's acceptance.
Good luck on finding cuckoldress.
ACP | |
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| Ah Yeah
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:46:24 PM | | Yes this should be something clear I would think before even meeting. Have some respect for others and there time why would a woman waste her time on you if she is tradional - this is truly a fedish an should be something known. I would be very pissed if I had wasted my time and efforts to find this out, how degrading | |
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| Ah Yeah
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:54:13 PM |
Yes this should be something clear I would think before even meeting. Have some respect for others and there time why would a woman waste her time on you if she is tradional
I've worked with several couples where the wife was "traditional" . Then their husbands would bring up this desire over several years and these "traditional" wives never took them seriously. They then discovered their husbands were serious and when they acted on it, there was no turning back. The "Genie" was out of the bottle as they say and the absolutely loved having their cake and eating it too.
That lifestyle is not for everyone and only relationships based on complete honesty and negotiated rules will survive. It is not, however, a solution or a good idea for a relationship that is already in trouble.
The earlier that this is negotiated with clarity and rules of engagement, the better.
ACP | |
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miss13
| | Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| Ah Yeah
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:18:20 PM | Yes ---- in fact you should post it right on your profile.... | |
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| Ah Yeah
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:36:43 PM | When I said traditional I was trying to be polite. To myself it is sickening that a man can't get off without degrading the woman he supposedly loves - sex is NOT the same for women as it is for men. So for those of us that want to puke at the thought of running into a guy like you - POST IT! | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:53:46 PM | ok, this is going to sound pretty raw, but if your into the lifestyle, just simply say "Cuckold in search of a Slut Wife/Partner".
Anybody who is into it, will understand that it isn't a demeaning thing to say, they will understand the role titles and will be open to it with you.
I am absolutely fascinated by the subject at hand, I've followed the erotica for quite some time, but to actually know there is such a thing, mind blowing.
I want to reiterate for anyone reading this post, I am not into cuckoldry, I do however study sex and all it's different fetishes. Cuckoldry is one that fascinates me the most because I can't fathom how anyone who loves their wife could possibly take the humiliation involved in it. I am not however judging the OP for this, I have some kinks that most people would find abnormal as well, so who am i to judge, or anyone else for that matter. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:02:44 PM | Hey everybody…thanks for all your contributions so far even from you Toby. To Tina…I apologize for making you look something up.
I would like to say that I have the most respect for woman and that this sort of arrangement is in no way an attempt to demean the woman that I hopefully will build a life with. I could answer every diverging opinion here but I won’t. Posting in a public forum is a double edged sword. But I will say this, there are different strokes for different folks and that regardless of our cyber persona were still human being and I am a very respectful of others so I would hope you’ll temper your judgement in response to my question. Also this sort of arrangement is more common than you think…actually I think it would surprise you as it did me when I first started to learn about it a decade ago.
To everyone else, keep posting your two cents, I do appreciate it. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:06:08 PM | Degradation is carried out by force and without a willing participant. A cuckoldress, by definition is not forced and therefore cannot be degraded when she participates by choice and not under compulsion.
The reaction of "puking" as was expressed is an individual preference and not generalized to all women or all men.
In the 21st century, there is no longer traditional and there is different, if "traditional" ever was.
There is no such thing as "normal" or "abnormal" sexual behavior outside of criminal behavior and violence against unwilling participants. There is no such thing as a perversion. What does exist is personal preference to meet personal needs. The wonderful thing about human sexuality in its myriad of possibilities is that there is something for everyone.
Many, many, many marriages and relationships have been happily preserved and continued as a result of this particular lifestyle and relationships have become healthier than had ever existed in the past.
It is not for everyone, just as other paraphilias and lifestyles are not for everyone. Everyone has their own unique idea of what they like and what turns them on. That others may not share in this taste does not invalidate the lifestyle choice or make it unacceptable or perverse. It is only different.
ACP | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:29:05 PM | Im sure you dont want you profile to read cuckold.. Is that your only fetish..IE MFM or just watching? Sorry cant see alot of women into that,,but Im sure there is some..Mind you there is some kinky ones on here so They may not be into this, but may allow it along with their kink .. If it was MfM Im sure you would find more ..
I would definately put something about "Open minded female" In your profile..wipe out alot of the time wasters.. And definately want to let the girl know specifically what your tastes are early.. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 9:24:13 PM | To the original question OP, if you do not mention it very very quickly with any new woman, let me offer two alternatives:
1) at your next divorce proceedings
2) on your deathbed
I am not being judgmental. If that is what you AND your partner enjoy, go for it.
If everyone is aware of the ground rules going into the relationship, no one is
“Degraded” and no animals are killed.
BUT .... i think POF may not be your best bet.
There are sites set up for this and other more avant garde sexual habits.
Adult Friend Finder ( are we aloud to mention other sites?) comes to mind.
Check them out and good luck with this thread which i am sure will become a flame war. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:07:32 PM | | I wouldn't suggest mentioning it on a first date. But, not all women are comfortable with it. I've only read about it and talked to one man about it online. You really need to be on the same page with someone in the sex department. Particularly if it is outside of the "norm". If it is really important to you, would you really want to get involved with someone, all in love and then have that part of your desires go unfulfilled? Be fair to yourself. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:07:42 PM | | I wouldn't suggest mentioning it on a first date. But, not all women are comfortable with it. I've only read about it and talked to one man about it online. You really need to be on the same page with someone in the sex department. Particularly if it is outside of the "norm". If it is really important to you, would you really want to get involved with someone, all in love and then have that part of your desires go unfulfilled? Be fair to yourself. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:39:38 AM | | OP, I would mention it early on. Waiting until a relationship is firmly established is unfair, and could be thought of as blindsiding... If you build something and have a woman that loves you, then spring something like this on her, you're asking for trouble. If you build a relationship with someone that knows this is ultimately what you want, it's more likely to be successful. Honesty is always the best policy, especially with such a controversial desire as this one... | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:01:05 AM | Yeah OP......I agree with most people around here. You need to meet someone who shares the same desires as you do....maybe POF is not the place to advertise, as I believe what your asking might freak most people out. But, stick by what makes you happy, advertise your feelings on other sites like other posters have suggested to you....Iam sure you will meet someone that will make you happy. There is someone in this world for everybody...it's just finding the right someone to make it work for you...
By your post, you seem like a decent bloke......I admire for you coming out into online dating site and admitting your preferences....
Best of Luck | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:17:15 AM | I am with those who say to bring it up early...if not earlier lol. You probably should put it in your profile or at least something that hints that you are into something different. Also checking out more specialty sites is probably a good idea to broaden your chances of finding someone, but don't expect much luck on a site that concentrates on cuckolding because there aren't many single women who visit those to be honest. Instead the BDSM sites or "adult swinging sites" are usually a better choice for this type of relationship. When you go there, you need to be clear if you are looking for a cuckoldress or a hot wife though as the 2 terms are normally considered to be very different and with very different realities. On an added note, advertising for a "slut wife" probably isn't the way to go if you are looking for a cuckoldress.
In my experience, people often misunderstand the cuckolding lifestyle. It isn't about a woman being forced to sleep with many men at all...and it isn't about her being objectified or watched (although it can be)...and it isn't about many sexual partners (although it can be). My point? Well, directed at anyone who might be interested in an "alternative lifestyle choice" or "non-traditional lifestyle," please don't let the negative comments by those who don't fully understand what it is get you down or discourage you. There are too many individuals living in hiding and miserable with their chosen spouse because they were afraid to voice their desires. There is someone for everyone, it is just a matter of being honest and finding the right match!  | |
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csod64
| | Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:42:07 AM | | OP, one thing I noticed about your profile is that you desire "Long Term". Perhaps changing it to "Other Relationship", then going into a little something that you desire a "special type" of Long Term relationship. Not necessarily go into detail, but mention that you have a slightly different view of marriage other than a traditional one--but that you will love and respect that special woman regardless. (I'm always up for learning about different things--thank goodness for Wikipedia! I wasn't quite sure about the history of your desire, but I find the concept quite interesting.) | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:33:25 AM | maybe too much to disclose..but are we talking MFM for you or simply sit and watch?
Might not be something you want to detail, Your call
Just for interest..Im guessing the hidden motivation here was hoping to get responses from women who like it...Any luck
Im sure very few if any would post a positive response in the thread..but wondering if the browsers picked up on it and emailed.
Also in your profile, maybe put it as an interest..who knows?? | |
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