| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:57:48 PM | confused , i not knw any one who ever done this
what intales dating 2 people at once , sex ,dates , kissing , hugs,cuddles, dinner date???
what do you as crossing the line ?? sex??
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:05:07 PM | | It's possible to date more than one person at a time without having sex. While society deems promiscous behavior to be unacceptable, the rules of dating behavior really depends on the couple. Since everyone is different the rules between each couple should be different, as well. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:09:33 PM | | I personally don't see anything wrong with dating more than one person at the same time, as long as all parties involved know the situation and are okay with it. Some people are okay with having sex with more than one person, others aren't. Just communicate and make your expectations clearly known and you should be good. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:22:49 PM | | Dating more than one person gives YOU a choice. Who says sex has to be envoled? And if the other person doesn't like it, then they are probably not the right one to be with. I don't want to end up with the wrong person again! I'm looking for my last relationship, so I don't intend to stop dating until I find the right man to settle down with. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:45:09 PM | Dating several people at one time is for people who are never satisfied. First of all if your into someone why date someone else? Sounds to me like yeah your ok but ehhhhh im trying to find someone better.
Second of all how do you really get to know someone when you have 2 or more people on your mind. Your dating "y" and you have "x" and "z" on your mind. You gonna call your other dates name out when you have sex?lol
I date one person at a time if it doesnt work out i move on to someone else. I don't date girls that date many guys at once sorry i don't compete. And sorry i don't need to think about other guys kissing the girl im dating bugs me out even worse if they are having sex.
If going on a few dates to see if someone is for you is to much and to long to wait before dating someone else you are VERY impatient. I know life is short but not that short.
I put these people in the same category as people who have sex with many people. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:55:27 PM |
Dating more than one person gives YOU a choice. Who says sex has to be envoled?
IMO, you can't be emotionally intimate, in a "man/woman" way, with more than one person, and you can't be fully emotionally intimate, until its also sexually intimate. Most people can look at past relationships and remember that there is a whole different level of things that exists between lovers, that doesn't exist, prior to being sexually intimate. Most men don't feel "safe" in letting themselves be known, while the paradigm seems to be one of "auditioning" for the role.
And if the other person doesn't like it, then they are probably not the right one to be with.
I absolutely agree. You have every right to do things in ways that best suit you. I know that I have always walked away from dating someone with your way of doing things, though; but the fora abound with "nice guys", who are always willing to do things the way that any woman says they should. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:25:25 PM | "IMO, you can't be emotionally intimate, in a "man/woman" way, with more than one person, and you can't be fully emotionally intimate, until its also sexually intimate. "
That's the whole point!
I have learned from experience that eclusively dating one person has got me nowhere but heartbroken. Men will lie and tell a woman anything they think she wants to hear to get her in the sack. Men have a way of seperating intimacy and just sex. I will no longer be a victim to that mentality.
Having more than one person on my mind keeps me from getting hurt! The dating game has gotten much harder since the internet. Men are like kids in a candy shop!
When I decide that I have met a "nice guy" who shows me that he is serious. That I want to become sexually envolved with, then I'll consider myself exclusive with only him, until I find that man I will date as many men as I want. And the ones who walk away are my way of weeding out the "nice guys" from the players.
To the other op, I never said that I intend to kiss all that I date either.
You guys trip me out. Men do this all the time. You are always on the hunt. So why is it so touchy for a woman to do the same?
Atleast I'm being honest of my intentions. I'm not settling for whatever comes my way. Been there done that. I'm not going to put all my eggs in one basket anymore. And yes, it is looking for something better. It's called "shopping around". We women have to compete all the time. And yes, I will walk away from any man that thinks I'm not good enough, but I want what I deserve. And that's more than crumbs, I deserve the whole damn cake with sprinkles on top! "Life is Short" so, I don't feel like I should settle for anything less!
I will now get off my soap box, because I don't feel I need to continue to justify my opinion on this subject. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:50:21 PM | You can call me old fashion,though it does'nt seem to be in any more. I like to get the door for people,and let a woman enter the door first.But all I seem to get is hassle for my trouble, it's just the way I was raised. To get respect you have to give respect.
And I only date one person at a time,my friends all tell me that's why I'm single.But you play the field enough, you are a player,that's not what I am.If I,m seeing you then rest assured you're the only person I'm going to see.That's probably why I'm so easy to decieve.  | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:02:21 AM | First of all I was responding to the first op's ?. I didn't ask for anyones opinion about my thoughts. Which has put me on the defensive end and feeling that I have to justify myself.
So go ahead and call me a player then. IMO Player's aren't this honest about there intentions. Players are liars trying to get what they can get with having to give back.
I would love to live in the old fashion world, but that's not how things are done anymore. As far as respect. I hope that you are not implying that I don't deserve respect because I want to give myself the best choice. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:48:55 AM |
I would love to live in the old fashion world, but that's not how things are done anymore
oh I disagree... I am very old fashioned and if when I was dating they weren't then it didn't work... I only know who to date old school way to be honest... couldn't imagine dating different guys,I would get confused with their names lol....
but we are all different and I don't think there is a right or wrong way to date... each to there own | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:02:10 AM | My comments were not aimed at you at all bettyboop0929,I was just making my own statement as to how I date,or I should say is probably the reasons for the lack of dating on my part.Everyone who posts in the forums deserves respect, that's why I'm clearing up any misunderstanding,personally I just can't date more than 1 person at a time,I was just stating my own opinion,sorry if you thought I was directing it at you,because I absolutetly was not. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:45:22 AM | | This is really simple. If you date only one person then your never really going to know what's right for you. That's why i believe we should keep sex for the one we know in our hearts is the right one for us. I have already made this mistake. I only dated one at a time thinking i was doing the right thing. I will never make that mistake again...... Here is the way i see it. Get out there and date. Men' keep your peckers in your pocket. Women' Don't be so willing to give it up. Date many' Date more than one. Find what fit's. When you find what fit's then turn loose of all that pent up emotion and sexual frustration and give it to the right one. You will find that it is sweeter that way. Just my thoughts. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:07:34 AM | I'm in the old fashioned style of thinking myself... I don't believe you can make a purchase until you're done "shopping around"... if that means taking a chance on a product that may not be what you need, or want in the end, those are the risks you have to take in order to be truly happy with the person you eventually find... but ironically by "shopping around" you might find that the very best products (when you come back to the initial product that you thought you could do better on after shopping around) might be off the shelf... you limited the risk in getting hurt by keeping your options open but lost the best things to someone who didn't mind risking hurt for love.
Besides... what kind of man/woman do you hope to find who finds dating multiple people at once acceptable? Answer: One's who themselves have commitment issues and/or are dating multiple people themselves (maybe even sleeping with)... this is not an environment that breeds trust, honesty, or respect... cornerstones of any truly intimate relationship even if sex isn't involved just yet.
But there are truths in bettyboop0929's thread... I am a man in a candy store... specific features don't much matter to me as I don't have a specific type I find attractive... but if a woman doesn't have a passion in life, doesn't value honesty, and/or uses drugs (as more significant important examples versus the trivial breast size or hair color one's I might be accused of)... I will keep shopping as someday the right one for me will come along for me online or off... if someone is ok with dating multiple people and doesn't see enough in me to take an exclusive shot then I know I'm not for them and hence they're not for me... when you find the right one you don't want to shop around... so until a woman comes who is ok dating me and only me I'll wait... and if I go out with someone and I don't want to see them exclusively then I don't lead them on because they're not for me and it would be a double standard to do so. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:47:09 AM | TY for some back-up Eddie1962150. And TY drmmergy for clearing up your opnion about the matter. The other two men did directly aim their comments at me., therefore, I thought that you were jumping on their bandwagon.
Maybe the term "dating" should be more specified. IMO, if dating is just that "dating", then I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person as long as sex is not involved. On the other hand, if one is dating more than one person on a serious level (sex involved) then, no I don't think it's acceptable.
As far as the old fashion way of doing things. I feel that takes a much longer process in finding the right one. Leads to heartbreak too easily. After enough of those, why the hell would I put myself in that position again? (We are suppose to learn from our mistakes) That's why we have a "Broken Heart" forum here, too many people focus on just one person and are not giving themselves a choice in the first place. It would be different if they did, then took a chance on one of those people after some time of getting to know them. We should all give ourselves a chance to find a better fit and not settle for the first one to come along.
No, I don't have commitment issues. The only issue I have with commitment, is commiting to the wrong person. I've got to know that a man is going to treat me the way I want to be treated and feel secure that he's not got another woman on his mind.
Like Eddie1962150 implied, if you don't get out there and date more than one person, then you won't know if you have a good fit.
I would love nothing more than to find the right person the first time around, but I've learned not to take stock in just one man and believe everything he says right away. Actions speak louder than words. A man has to really show me that he's seriously interested in me. I don't intend to jump in the sack with the first man to wrap his arms around me and tell me he'll be mine forever. I am proud to say that I have practiced celebacy for the past 16mos and during that time only kissed one man. I refuse to be a man's trash can or doormat.
Besides, what is really all that wrong with a woman dating more than one man? I don't want to turn into an old maid waiting around for a man to call me back for another date. I would just be making myself misserable. I would never consider myself exclusive after just one date with a man. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:01:46 AM |
I refuse to be a man's trash can or doormat.
Good for you...... So many times guys think they can push the limit and then say "What's wrong are you frigid?" Not having a clue that it's all about choice, not passion. You can be a very passionate person and still be choosy! | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:33:57 AM | | I agree with you 100% as long as your honest then there is no problem and how are you suppose to find the right one unless you date multiple people im sorry im lucky but i've been on 4 dates and met some beautiful people but there alwaye seems to be a road block the main one is availability and distance! sex doesn't have to come into the picture until its right . i guess thats why they call it fishing sometimes you have to catch and relese but that doesn't mean you have to harm the fish! Best of luck to everyone . Michael | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:40:27 AM | Betty: I think dating is that...seeing several people perhaps at the same time. There is no commitment other than friendship and enjoying doing things together. If you are honest about it and the other person accepts that, then there should be no problem with "just" dating. It can be fun to have many friends, with different interests and enjoy all of them for what they bring. I think many times we enter into exclusive relationships too soon only to find that we are not compatable in our expectations, desires or purpose. I for one have done that a few times and refer to them as my dating mistakes.
That being said, though, I do think that if you are dating several people it is important that everyone understands the boundaries of what that you associate with casual dating. For some, that may or may not include intimacy; however, you both have to be on the same page and agree to to the limits. To not have this understanding can lead to someone getting hurt....and I think one of the most important responsibilities we have in dating is respect for the other person and not intentionally hurting others. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:41:27 AM | Made same misjudgements initially as bettyboop - being "old-fashioned" and dating one person at a time. All it did is left me empty handed and disappointed. Apparently ( I guess I did not get the memo  that times have changed) we should not assume anything is exclusive unless openly and specifically stated so and agreed upon by both parties. If I was in my 20s, maybe I would have had a luxury of time to date one person, see if it works... if not, meet next.. repeat until the right one is found. Apparently, however, most people my age do not do that, and it makes sense - not to put all the eggs into one basket. Do not mean to get physically involved, just to get know people better BEFORE I decide that one of them is the right one to get involved with(on all levels, incl. physical). I have encountered some guys who are upset about this approach (in fact, couple were expecting me to take the profile down after 1-2 dates), and some who are totally fine with this.
I would LOVE to meet the right person and not to deal with all these dilemmas anymore. But this is not, apparently, how things work. All I am doing is improving my odds. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:53:10 AM | Never done it personally, unless it counts dates with friends.. in which case there is no sex is there? The thing is you boundaries are your own to set. But they should also be shared with those that you date.. So they know where the line is drawn..If your boundaries are so loose that you feel its fine to date 2 people at once, then when you tell others that this is the case, expect to be dumped or accepted. If accepted do not become hypocritical about others loose boundaries. Whats good for the goose an all that...
simple.
Catherine aka star.x | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:57:03 AM | Girl I agree with you all the way . After being hurt by a former spouce and a person i dated . I am gunshy. I now date three most weeks and they know about each other . EACH ONE ARE GREAT FRIENDS BUT NO SEX BECAUSE they are not the right one s . I will find her some day or not! so until then I have acqired some wonderful friends. i HOPE YOU FIND THIS GREAT FOR YOU..   | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:51:30 AM |
That's the whole point!
I have learned from experience that eclusively dating one person has got me nowhere but heartbroken. Men will lie and tell a woman anything they think she wants to hear to get her in the sack. Men have a way of seperating intimacy and just sex. I will no longer be a victim to that mentality.
If people choose to date multiple people for positive purposes, I have no problem with that. When someone dates multiple people, because he/she has "issues", and is doing so out of "fear" or a need to feel "control", I think it would be problematical to be involved with such a person on any level.
You guys trip me out. Men do this all the time. You are always on the hunt. So why is it so touchy for a woman to do the same?
Atleast I'm being honest of my intentions. I'm not settling for whatever comes my way. Been there done that. I'm not going to put all my eggs in one basket anymore. And yes, it is looking for something better. It's called "shopping around". We women have to compete all the time. And yes, I will walk away from any man that thinks I'm not good enough, but I want what I deserve. And that's more than crumbs, I deserve the whole damn cake with sprinkles on top!
What a charming post. I can certainly see why men would be lining up for a chance to date someone with this mindset.
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:53:54 AM |
My comments were not aimed at you at all bettyboop0929,I was just making my own statement as to how I date,or I should say is probably the reasons for the lack of dating on my part.
There are those who, when watching a football game, are just sure that the reason the guys on the offensive team huddle up, is to talk about them. | |
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| dating 2 or more people
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:58:14 AM | | Someone has too much time on his hands, maybe he should get busy dating.... | |
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