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Posted: 11/11/2007 7:35:44 PM | | Do agree with this statement?: "We come to love not by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." It seems like there's so many people out there looking for the perfect partner that doesn't exist- nobody's perfect. I think that is one of the main reason why so many people here are still single. It's OK to have some standards but by having too many you may miss out on a potentially good mate. We also need to accept people for their faults. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 7:42:56 PM | | I get sick of hearing about how everyone is looking for perfection. It's not true. Everyone is looking for what appeals to them, and you're not going to appeal to everyone. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 7:47:28 PM | | I agree that we will never find the "perfect person" out of the box, But we will find close to it in our eyes, and what is imperfect we live with, or accept as part of that person | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 7:54:19 PM | | I have yet to hear anyone in datingland say that they are looking for perfection. I think most people are far too practical to expect or even look for perfection. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 7:56:07 PM | | I think it was Ann Landers who once said, find the one thing that drives you crazy about your mate......... And learn to love it.... for you will live with it for a long long time..... | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:02:13 PM | | So people aren't looking for perfection? Well, why is that so many people here can't seem to find what they want.? | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:11:33 PM | The dating pool is so much bigger for us now than it was say a few hundred years ago that I think we do expect to something more. If you lived in a small village with little access to the outside world you're potential mates would of course be very few. That being said- even if your partner wasn't the greatest partner you would never know you could have anything better. You'd be happy with what you have because being able to have more always makes you want more.
And Zombie: can you tell me why it is that if an average looking man asks about 10 different women out on a date maybe about only 2 of them would say yes? Why doesn't the average guy get more of a chance if woman are only looking for average guys that appeals to them? | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:18:24 PM | if there's two willing loving spirits, then you have perfection.
You have to give anyone a chance, as long as you got the  for them, perfect or not.
Unequal Attraction, that is the problem, most of the time. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:18:41 PM | | I say the ones who see themselves as the farthest away from perfection are the ones who constantly write threads like this. Would you have written this if you received the number of emails and IMs to which you think you are entitled? | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:20:14 PM | | I agree with you OP. As mother has said many times "find somebody that will love you warts and all". I have learned to ask, when a lady says she loves me, for her to tell me 3 things she doesn't like about me. If she can tell me some things I believe her, if not she probably doesn't know me very well. It takes time to get to that point. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:25:54 PM | | I agree with that statement. I don't need someone who's perfect; just someone who is perfect for me (and this has far more to do with personality and hobbies than appearance). | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:28:08 PM | | There are no perfect matches--just how you see the one you fall in love with-would you really want someone perfect--it would be a lot to live up to...life and ALL relationships are constantly being worked on-to become a medium that works to keep you both happy and in love--like ecurbrucres' mom said, warts and all | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:28:15 PM |
And Zombie: can you tell me why it is that if an average looking man asks about 10 different women out on a date maybe about only 2 of them would say yes? Why doesn't the average guy get more of a chance if woman are only looking for average guys that appeals to them?
There's so much more to being appealing than just being average looking. The majority of people are average looking. There is personality, interests, lifestyle to consider.
And our hypothetical man has two dates lined up. Sounds good to me. Why isn't he focused on them instead of the eight that said no? | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:29:54 PM | | etourdi: That's a low blow man. I have a right to ask this question in this forum. This is not a pity thread: I asked straight out for people's opinions. I respect opinions of those who don't agree with me but I think that a lot of people- both men and women demand too much of a partner these days. Although men are not to picky when it comes to sleeping with a woman. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:37:26 PM | | I was not trying to be mean, sorry... I just mean that people who get a lot of attention don't usually write threads like this thats all....like you said we have opinions I was just offering mine...you didnt answer my question though? and like Hula Zombie said what about the 2 out of the ten, why doesn't the person concentrate on them and not the 8 that got away? | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:39:53 PM |
"We come to love not by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." It seems like there's so many people out there looking for the perfect partner that doesn't exist- nobody's perfect. I think that is one of the main reason why so many people here are still single.
The main reason I'm still single is because a sacred trust has been broken. I can't trust anyone now. And I can't find anyone who would even want to get to know me for anything other that quick sex. Ain't gonna do it. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:44:39 PM | | I am seeking someone who is "perfect" for me and vice versa; not perfect/perfection. Some do limit themselves with petty elements i.e. ethnicity, eye color, hair color...that to me is nonsense. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:49:30 PM | | What is perfection there is a thousand answers for that one. A differant one for everyone. The best bet it to look for chemistry if you find that the rest can be worked out. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:49:39 PM | [We come to love not by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly]
I have already accepted that I will likely come to love by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. Despite the fact that i do believe in fairy tales i think it is quite another to expect it to materialise on demand.
Even so we still need to find someone with this potential and in an unforgiving less than tolerant world i think this is getting harder, hence a lot of people on sites like this. I also think the world does not cater for people 30+ to date very easily.
Dave | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:52:25 PM | it would be great to find someone who might have an idea how to have a relationship with someone who isnt an alcoholic or crack head.... | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:54:35 PM | | etourdi: With women outnumbering men 4 to 1 on this site and women only initiating contact only 20% of the time not too many men do get a lot of attention here. I don't know, maybe you're one who does. I still would have written this thread if I got a lot of attention. I'm not thinking only of dating but also of the high divorce rate in our society. I'm also contemplating whether I'm being too picky myself and not giving women much of a chance. And sure the guy can focus on the 2 girls that said yes, but to find 2 girls to say yes he'll need to ask 10 of them- not always an easy task for a guy who's shy or lacks confidence. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 8:57:43 PM | "We come to love not by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." I think it's coming to be in tune with nature, ourselves and our society. A bit like the guy fixing a motorbike in "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", by Robert M. Pirsig, it's improving some bits in ourselves, not worrying about others, raising our standards in some ways, lowering them in others, and each time, we get more and more "in tune" with things.
I get sick of hearing about how everyone is looking for perfection. It's not true. Everyone is looking for what appeals to them, and you're not going to appeal to everyone. HulaZombie, you know you're perfect just the way you are. 
So people aren't looking for perfection? Well, why is that so many people here can't seem to find what they want.?
The dating pool is so much bigger for us now than it was say a few hundred years ago that I think we do expect to something more. More options brings more confusion and more indecisiveness, and more bad choices. When I was a kid, we didn't have the masses of different brands of the same food that we have today. Back then, you could do your shopping quickly. There were only a few things you could buy, so it was easy to pick, and if they didn't have what you needed, you did without. Now, there are so many different things, that you can spend ages shopping, and so many are almost what you need, that you end up buying loads of things, and then find out when you get home, that you didn't need a lot of them, got so distracted that you didn't buy what you needed, and overspent a lot. I think people do the same with dating. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2007 9:49:18 PM | | OP - I don't mind your original quote, but I am still going to keep my standards high. Yes, I recognize that I probably will be on this site for a long time and that no one is perfect. | |
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