| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:45:48 PM | So I want to know from the men. Sorry if this is already posted I did a search and didn't come up with anything.
My question is: Can a sexual relationship ever become more than just that?
I mean say you meet this girl and she is great, you get along, you like some of the same stuff, she challenges you in various areas and the sex is HOT as heck. When does it become more or does it ever become more?
Can a sex fling ever turn into a meaningful relationship or will it be booty call for ever until someone else comes along? | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 4:15:47 PM | | It could turn in to something more, just as any type of relationship could. The down side is that it's been my experience that it seldom does. If two people are meeting solely for sex, the "booty call for ever" is more likely as far as it will go. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:00:52 PM | I agree with Clouser in that any type of relationship can evolve. I think its alot harder to evolve when its a sexual relationship from the start. You complicate things when you start having feelings for her when she might see "challenging you" as just sex and nothing more.
For it to evolve it has to be mutual, if she's feeling as passionate as you it might go somewhere. But like I said its alot work because it wasn't developed in a traditional sense that most romances have. The work would have to be finding a common bond that both you share that doesn't revolve around sex. I'm not talking about similar interest or hobbies, although it would help. What I mean is talk about each other's life goals and non-sexual dreams in life. See if there's a connection there. Sounds easier than said, but in reality its not easy when the relationship is all about sex.
My advice is before you get emotionally caught up in her, talk to her about the current status of the relationship and find out if she sees a future beyond hot sex. I warn you though if you had agreed from the onset that the relationship would be just sex, then asking her to backpedal would be hypocritical on your part. If that's the case then you're shit out luck. Just enjoy the hot sex, and look elsewhere for romance. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:22:34 PM | | No it will never become more. Usually the girl wants more and the guy just wants sex. The reasons he doesn't want more are usually looks. The woman may be attractive but he feels he can do better so he talks her into an FWB relationship because he knows she is attracted t him and likely will accept his offer, but all along he is looking for someone up to his physical standard. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:38:09 PM | a sex fling become the real thing?
IMHO...
Yes , it can be the real thing.
If a guy is single , let's face it... he's going to want sex .
If that guy meets someone that he fnds very attractive and she treats him well and he clicks with her on a deeper level ....then it will last whether they have sex sooner or later.
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:38:38 PM | Wow some really great answers.
Thanks a lot everyone.
I have always found this topic interesting and wanted to know the male perspective. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:03:40 PM | NO NO NO....You started backwards instead of forwards.....I don't think there is any going back....unless you give him a lot of space and then see what happens. You've made yourself too available to him, make yourself scarce, and if he just gives you booty calls....and nothing else......well then it is nothing...
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:05:07 PM | | It has been only very recently in human history that we have had here in our western culture some of these current ideas and expectation regarding relationships. The designation of sex being a separate thing from love and romance being a special kind of love are fairly arbitrary. The terms "sex fling" and "real thing" would probably have not meant anything for most of human history, yet people were pairing up, having sex and getting married in some fashion. To me it means we can pretty much decide how we want it to be and then have at it. If someone wanted to start with sex and become romantic and wind up married, they could. Or if they wanted to court a while, get married and then have sex, that would work just as well. There is nothing about being human that says it has to be one way or the other. It's a matter of what the people know, what they want, how they choose to go about it. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:18:26 PM | | Isn't it funny that the men say yes and the women say no. Well OP since you asked a guy I think that you can guess which answers might be more useful. Of course it can, as long as you have an open mind. It doesn't matter what reason you got together all that matters is what you feel once you do. Time and emotions can do strange and wonderful things and as long as both of you are open to the possibilities then anything can happen. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:36:04 PM | Any relationship starts off as a seed. Most of the time it won't be a seed of true love but if it is, having sex straight away won't stop that seed from eventually blossoming.
On the other hand, if it's a seed of pure lust there is really nothing you can say or do to turn it into something lasting.
The trick is learning to recognise what type of seed you have and then deciding whether you wish to plant it or not. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 9:28:09 PM | Can a sex fling ever turn into a meaningful relationship
Speaking from my own experiences - absolutely yes, if I'm very attracted to her.
Jennie72, msg 5:
No it will never become more.
Untrue.
The reasons he doesn't want more are usually looks.
You got it.
The woman may be attractive but he feels he can do better so he talks her into an FWB relationship because he knows she is attracted t him and likely will accept his offer, but all along he is looking for someone up to his physical standard.
Bingo.
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 10:57:35 PM |
Can a sexual relationship ever become more than just that?
How did it get to that point?
Are you referring to a one night stand or, are you referring to twio people with a somewhat established rapport?
One night stand: I would think not. Eventually, trust issues would arise given the circumstances from which you met. I would imagine jealousy and trust would eventually surface when one of you are seen talking/flirting with others.
With a rapport: I wouldn't discount anything... there is already an established attraction. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:11:09 PM | I know people who've supposedly fell in love strictly going out to eat and to the movies. Where one place, you have food in your mouth, and the other you are shooshed for talking. They hardly knew one another, other than their tastes for food and movies. So, yeh, it makes sense that a person you want to doink, is someone you also wouldn't mind having a relationship with....
When does it occur? Only on Friday the 13th. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:13:12 AM | Yes it can.
It's just much, much less likely that the guy will want to turn it into something than the girl. If a guy isn't looking for a relationship, you won't get one from him, period. If a girl isn't looking for a relationship, she's often still open to one developing if things go well enough between you. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:26:40 AM | | It's possible, but I don't think it happens that often. IMO I think one person ( usually the less attractive person ) develops feelings for the more attractive person. The more attractive person wants to keep it as an fling or move on to find someone that he/she thinks is better looking. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:45:35 AM | | I was in a FWB relationship with someone many many years ago and it evolved into LTR relationship which lasted 6 years. Is it possible, yes. Does it happen often ? I personally doubt it. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:52:34 AM | | Frankly, flings are expected to not last, naturally. Could a fling develop into a relationship? Yes, it can. Why not? I just wouldn't count on it... | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:12:19 AM | Simply put , Yes, does it happen often no...
I have seen some that have turned into beautiful relationships. Others that turn into a train wreck..
I personally need to the relationship first then the sex. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 9:10:01 AM | So I seem to be hearing that it could possibly turn into something but the jist of it is.....do not expect it because although it can happen....most likely it wont.
But I have to say though I am surprised about the people who mention that flings usually involve one lesser attractive person or a person who is not up to physical par. What is up with that?
It sounds like one person using the other to achieve sexual gratification and soley that while they play the field looking for that person that can compliment them.
So it is easier for a man to end a fling than a woman?
I know it's the reality of some situations but find it kind of sad that a person can be good enough to have sex with, yet not good enough to be in a realtionship with? | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 9:25:10 AM | | well i must from experience say yes but also from bitter experience it can lead to trust problems later in the relationship when the sex has how shall i put this dimmed a little as it allways does. then one partner can feel that and think the other wants that great sex and thinks they had a sex relationship before so they will do it again. now either things get so bad that one does or one is driven awa y as every time they mention someone of the opposite sex they are accused of infidelity. Working through this can be very difficult. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 9:31:29 AM | | Maybe the people who are saying they have flings with people less attractive than they would have a relationship with are in the habit of scoring easy with double baggers when they get hard up. Or maybe they are noticing the only time they have sex it is with someone who wouldn't normally stoop to their level but are desperate or drunk. Either way, reporting that you have sex with people of an otherwise unacceptable level of attraction makes you sound opportunistic, which isn't bad or anything, but probably relates to your view of relationships overall. | |
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