| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 4:58:31 PM | | Is he a player playing me all along? I met this guy through a dating sight.He is 45 and I am 43. He flew me 4 State over to see him. The first time we had lots of fun between us and going out with friends at night club, partying till morning. We kept in touch daily through text or phone call. He flew me over again the second time a month later and this time I met his whole family, dad, mom, uncle, aunt, cousin, ect. We had a wonderful time. He was very attentive and loving. He told me how happy he was having me there. Yes, of course we slept together. There were alot of chemistry between us . He commpliment me a lot of the quality I have through meeting me and talking to me. His family and friends like me and are looking forward for my next trip back since I told them I will make them some Vietnames food. He said when he took me to the airport he will come and see me in 3 weeks. I didn't hear from him until 2 weeks later by an e-mail. He wrote that I was a wonderful women with golden personality but he felt that there were no spark between us. He wish me luck and said bye Sunshine. What is up with that? Never got an answer from him. Did get a couple of e-mail from him since just saying stuff like "Hey good looking." thats it. So is he playing me? Guys help me out on this one. Thanks | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:08:12 PM | | OP, he actually introduced you to his family; I'd say he was for real. He flew you out to see him, not once but twice; I'd say he was for real. Something obviously changed, now that he tells you he is not interested. Take him for his word; it is over. Perhaps he met someone else or came to the conclusion that he no longer wants a long distance relationship. Whatever the reason, it is clearly over. Let him go and move on with your life. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:13:32 PM | Huh?
Why do you think he played you? He said it as plain as day, it did not work out. Why is rejection so hard to accept? It happens to us all.
If you want a why, well that hardly ever happens. Even if you do get a why it rarely is the real reason unless that relationship had a lot of honesty since most people can not handle the truth. It could have been what he said, it could have been a lot of things. Why ask why? Move on, next opportunity.
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:18:21 PM | I'm not a man but here is my point of view........maybe he figured if you would lie about your age you would lie about anything.
Your profile says you are 38 but here you say you are 43. When did he find out that you were 5 years older than what your profile says? | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:19:12 PM | What changes. Everything was great between us on the second trip. My friend said that since he is a grown man he doesn't care what his family think of him dating different women. He contacted me and really push the issue for me to come. He love the fact that I was Asian . He just say that he like the looks. He did ask me stuff like would I be willing to move? Do I like the city that he lived? I guest a little confuse.
Thank you for your input. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:22:59 PM | | I told him my age the first time we talk. Way before I even came to see him. I told him why, because I look so much younger for my age, I was getting way too many e-mail from much, much older guys. Wasn't interested in guys much older sorry.. I prefer guys that are close to my age. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:23:42 PM | | well at least he had the guts enough to tell you that there was nothing and that he was moving on instead of leading you on. You should thank him for being so honest and caring enough to tell you. And he writes to you as a friend now only, if you don't care for that kind of friendship out of him, tell him and move on. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:28:33 PM | | I am wondering if perhaps a previous relationship fired back up. Or he may have found someone closer. Either way it is over you are a beautiful lady and will find the right one. Don't beat yourself up just keep on dating. Good Luck! | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:29:58 PM | I'm not a man , but I don't believe he was playing you. For him wanting you to meet
his family he must have had real feelings for you and been proud to show you off. Maybe it was something to do with his parents or the fact he didn't want the long distant thing, It would be nice if he could say so.
You are a very beautiful lady and have a great profile, I don't think you will have to fish long before you can reel in another one. Good luck. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:43:50 PM | Oh Mrs. January, what happened is that you had a whirlwind romance, and whirlwind romances die as fast as they begin.
Why? Because the guy that goes overboard quickly like that loves the romance and adventure, not the person, and that thrill quickly fades as it can't be maintained in reality, and so, they move on to the next new person who brings with them a new adventure and thrill. He's not playing you, you already got the best he has to offer, there's nothing more. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:45:12 PM | I'm betting he found somebody he liked just as well as you, somebody that's LOCAL. He wants to keep in contact with you just in case she doesn't work out. This is just 1 of the pitfalls of a Long Distance Relationship, and why I wouldn't consider one.
Regards and hope this thread doesn't get deleted!
- Michael  | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:48:33 PM | | to lilangel33, thank you, His daddy actually complimented me on alot of things. His mom and I were in the kitchen cooking a few time. I have gone out some but I guest I just wanted to know. Peole say since he is on the dating sight he will still be dating around. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:50:23 PM | | He sounds quite genuine, but it is hard if not imopossible to maintain a romantic relationship long distance. if he introduced you to his family then maybe he does want more. However, if it was just passion that was between you then one of you needs to either move to the other or, it will die. See if he is willing to fly over to meet your family. if he isnt or tries to waffel out of it, then He is getting cold feet. It is easy to do when you live 4 states apart. I doubt he is a player, but even with lots of chemestry, it is hard to maintain a longdistance relationship.the time and money and lack of intamcy makes it rough on both him and you. maybe you just need to have "the talk". | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:53:15 PM | | to creativeguy, thank you about your explanation on the whirlwind romance. He did come on really strong and was so into me. I guest when he found out that I was getting to like him more he back of. It was nice while it lasted. thanks, | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:55:27 PM | Thanks mrsjanuary.. you made a good impression.
Maybe the next one will be a keeper.
Some of these that come in so fast , so willing to give it there all, they go out just as fast. There is always another one waiting in the next window.... | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:56:16 PM | | My friend said that he throw me a little e-mail is to see if I was still interested. Anyway, his profile said that he was looking for a women 1000 miles from him. I thought that was strange. maybe he doesn't want a girl where he live so went he is through with them they won't be knocking on his door. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:01:54 PM | Or maybe when he thought about it more, he decided he didn't want a girl, who before she has ever met him, starts out with a lie - about her age on her profile. If you're comfortable lying about that, then I will assume you'll be comfortable lying about other things too, whenever it suits your purposes. Oh yeah, I know, you "look so much younger than your age" but then if you listen to the people on here, EVERYONE looks younger than their age. And frankly, it doesn't matter if you look younger or not, its still a LIE and it still proves you're quite comfortable lying.
Lies are lies, plain and simple. How sad to START a potential relationship with a lie.  That's a man's point of view - and you DID ask for one. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:12:18 PM | | I will not fly 4 states over for anyone. And i am a pilot. Now, if someone wants to come to me over 4 states away, that is ok. But you will be doing it on your own dime, not mine. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:13:09 PM | | Doesn't sound like you were played. He told you it wasn't going to work. Maybe the distance between you was too great. It happens. Find someone closer, or someone with more $$ so they can fly you out more often. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:21:08 PM | | He kept wanting me to come and see him so he was willing to fly me out. Don't get me wrong, i know that was thoughtful.I don't date man just for their money. It is how he treats me. I trusted him enough to fly to meet a man I didn't knew so I felt he should have trusted me to tell me more than "there were no spark" what is spark to most of your guys anyway? In my book it is chemistry. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:33:59 PM | That's just it. No spark. I bet he thought/thinks you're a nice person, attractive, etc... but while he was attracted to you, maybe he just didn't feel that extra little 'oomph' that we all like to look for.
He was honest with you. He could have left you hanging without hearing from him again. He obviously likes you, or he wouldn't want to keep in touch with a 'hello' here and there.
For the beginning of a loving, romantic relationship though, it generally takes a whole lot more face time. You have to be together more than once a month - the phone and internet can't measure up. That's ok for later once you've got the relationship rolling, but it's too hard to do while trying to get one off the ground. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:42:11 PM | | WTF? No spark? From what you've said there was a lot of electricity flowing between the both of you. But he might be the type of guy that wants to test the waters before settling on you or someone else. To hell with that! If you can't be his only choice then you can help him narrow it down by him having one less lady to chose from. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:42:17 PM | | thank you that was very thoughtful. He was real quite unless he has something to drink. When we go out and he drink, I find him more fun and aggressive if you know what I mean. He would never let me see him without his shirt unless it is in the dark when we are making out. He drink till he doesn't know when to stop and than the next day he feel bad and exausted. I just thought that he had a great heart because of the way he was toward me and his friends and family. Thank you for your kind words | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:44:43 PM | | I felt the same way. There were alot of chemistry between us. Yeah why do guys always think that the grass is greener on the other side? Anyway he lost a good thing. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:47:32 PM |
He drink till he doesn't know when to stop and than the next day he feel bad and exausted.
Count your blessings that he dumped you.......obviously you didn't see this as a BIG red flag. | |
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