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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:14:19 PM | I read an article today, that stated you should date 4 people at the same time. Let all 4 know you are dating the others. This will cause a bit of competition and the ones who are sincere, will put their best efforts forward. But you should only choose to have sex with one of them.
Ok, my thoughts on this article.
I think it is hard enough to find one person that has the qualities that you want to date, let alone finding 4 datable persons.
I don't think you should have sex with any of them, until you narrow it down to just one person to date. If you are having sex with that one person and they know you are dating the others, wouldn't you think they would assume you are having sex with all of them?
So what are your thoughts on this?
Has anyone ever done this and it worked?
Has anyone ever found 4 people to date at once? | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:16:43 PM | Sounds stoopid to me and a waste of time.
If you choose to have sex with just one of them, doesn't that basiically mean you have picked the one you want to be with? | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:19:29 PM | Well me personally I have never dated 4 people at once....Dating one is hard enough....Never mind as a single parent of 2 small kids....
But I had a roommate back when I was 17 who was in her early 20's who was dating i think 5 guys at the same time and keeping them all balanced...However none of them knew about each other.....But like anything I watched it all fall apart when she got caught by 1 of the 5 with roses and hickies from one of the others lol I took that as a learning lesson and from there decided 1 at a time is sufficient.... | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:20:37 PM | | dating 4 at once?? im all for keeping your options open but not exactly fair to string your dates along and play mind games. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:23:31 PM | Just before I met my husband I was dating 2 guys on a regular basis and a couple more ocassionaly. Yup weaned them down to my hubby as soon as I met him! I just knew he was the one I wanted with all my heart - the one who was the most repectful and sincere. I had a couple of dates the night I met my hubby!! I loved dating it was fun! Dating more than one guy allowed me to make a clear decision about what direction to take! The sex part of it - well it's for me to know and no one to find out!! 
edit (below) Of course they knew - I'm an open book - I think ya can tell that by what I say in the forums. No secrets here! | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:32:49 PM | Leeanne..... Did they all know you were dating the others? I think that is the main aspect of this article is letting them know.
As far as the sex goes..... I am sure the other 3 wouldn't know the person was having sex with the one, but how would the one know you weren't having sex with the others?
I know I wouldn't believe a person if they told me they weren't but still dating 3 other woman. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:34:07 PM | | That's ridiculous! Even if I had an opportunity to date 2 women at the same time, I wouldn't, let alone 4 women. I just can't play that way. I'm sure it would cause too much drama. And even though they all would know of each other, it would still feel like I was cheating on each of them. I've always been a one woman kind of guy and always will be. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:50:02 PM | If the four you are dating read the article too, how will that work when all five are each dating four different people to create competitive environment?
Just curious.
ACP | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 6:50:39 PM | | ^^^ msg 7 - Why would you be cheating?!?! You are NOT in a relationship with them - you are 'dating' - to me dating does not mean you are in a committed relationship. The relationship only comes when you have a discusion on the commitment. Once you decide you are going to be exclusive - then no more 'dating'! Simple! There never needs to be drama if you are open and honest and maintain your communication! | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:08:08 PM | | I think if NO sex is involved, then it isn't cheating at all. If you are openly dating all but hiding the fact you are having sex with one or all, then that could be considered cheating. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:09:27 PM | Let me guess..cosmo ..Geez they are pathetic..Its as bad as that bimbo who wrote the book ..the rules..which tells women all the rules of dating and how to land a man
..Unfortunately the bimbo..is single...
Go ahead date four men..and all four will dump you as apparently you
A: Dont really like me..Or B: your a sleezy whore...because if you are having sex with one..you actually are having sex with all four and hence..sleezy whore..
I think your plan needs work and can guarentee it was written by a divorced bimbo who hasnt had a second date in here life, Most of that crap is | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:12:46 PM | I don't think i could date 4 girls at the same time without forgetting their names or mixing them up.
I have this quick process of elimination i do so i focus on one person.
I'd make a horrible pimp. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:13:31 PM | It wasn't cosmo... but it was a chick magazine.
Which led me to ask how many agree with this etc.
The only way I could see someone dating 4 people at once, would be a person with a lot of free time on their hands. I truly don't think anyone has that much time unless they only see each one about once or twice a month. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:47:06 PM | Why do people equate 'dating' with sex?!?! How immature! Isn't dating - going out for dinner and doing fun activites with someone you enjoy being with?!?! Isn't dating a way to make friends and to find someone you may become compatible with in a relationship?!? I guess if you precieve dating as a 'fvck fest' - then hum - that may be the clue as to why some are still single and having such a hard time finding a companion and a partner in life - not just in bed! Dating is NOT about your genitals - it's about friendships and enjoying life! Geeze!!
Oh and there are 7 days in a week - gives ya plenty of time to go out for dinner - the movies - bowling - parties - dancing......... Especially if ya hate sitting at home!  | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 7:54:31 PM | Sounds to me that the magazine is promoting drama and games. If I took someone out on a date and they told me that they were also dating 3 other guys. I have enough drama in my life, just living is drama. Anyone who denies that is living in a fantasy world. Ex. Go to you're local gas station, LOTS of drama there!
Dating is not a joke or a game. You're giving someone a chance to get to know you and for you to know them. It's about the connections that either become established or not.
Not about competition. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 8:09:54 PM |
stated you should date 4 people at the same time
And think of all of the fun to be had when
someone get's called by the wrong name.
No more National Inquisitioner for you. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 8:20:37 PM | I know people that do it. I can't. I'm the type that will go on 2-3 dates with one person that has my undivided attention, make a decision and move on — before meeting another.
I don't personally see anything wrong with it if it's alright with everyone involved, but I wouldn't date a guy that was dating multiple women.
I'd be telling him to check out the best when he's done with the rest. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 8:42:39 PM | This wouldn't work for me. I am incapable of multi-tasking.
I would confuse everything. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 8:48:57 PM |
that stated you should date 4 people at the same time.
Wonder if we could get group discounts??? | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 8:51:41 PM |
Oh and there are 7 days in a week - gives ya plenty of time to go out for dinner - the movies - bowling - parties - dancing......... Especially if ya hate sitting at home
True, but that would be a nice scenerio if you are single and have no children at home.
I agree with you Leeanne, that dating is just dating. Having fun and getting to know someone and without sex involved.
Me personally, I think I would get a headache trying to juggle 4 guys at once, let alone all in one week. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 9:13:27 PM | Why not have sex with all four of them at the same time and date the best!!!!!!
Stupid thread me thinks! | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 9:30:59 PM | Is dating not about allowing the person a small part of your heart as a beginning step to see how they will treat the next more important piece?
If yes how are you supposed to pay attention to 4 different pieces of your heart? | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 9:35:42 PM | Thanks for all the responses. I think it shows that a lot of people prefer one on one dating.  | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 9:42:40 PM | if i was told a guy i was dating had three other chicks on the leash well id give him back the collar F^&* that if a guy wants to date me then he should jus date me . im not a friggen candy bar that he can nibble on and decide oh i like this one better phhfftt.
i can see the competition theory in what you said but i would totally lose any interest in the guy and not because i aint sincere its cuz id feel the guy needs an ego boost in a big way and isnt serious about me or the other chicks hes dating.
oh and since when is finding love a competition anyway? | |
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Posted: 11/15/2007 9:55:28 PM | This will cause a bit of competition and the ones who are sincere, will put their best efforts forward.
....or it could back fire and turn off those who recognize the desire to breed competition with suitors as nothing more than a childish game. I could never treat a guy like that and when I've become aware that someone may be trying that with me, I loose the desire to make any sort of romantic effort.
Although I wouldn't necessarily assume that a person dating more than one person is having sex with all of them, I could never be anything more than a platonic, causal friend to someone like that. I did date a guy about a year ago who was seeing many people and he was upfront and honest about it. I liked him and he was fun to be with, but I couldn't allow myself to think of him as anything more than a friend.
For me personally, one person at a time works best (for both). With that, I am then more comfortable exploring the possiblity of a romantic relationship. | |
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