| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:39:48 AM | I went out with this lady a month or so ago,we had a great time,and I was quite attracted to her, Very positive attitude. She told me she was to me,and was looking foreward to see me again in so many words,I could feel the chemistry.. After a few phone calls which were great and enthusiastic,she eventually blew me off,there was'nt much pressure on my part,just going with the flow.. Just interest. I called her a week later,out of curiousity and asked her what her motives were in a casual kind of way,after some good conversation... And she told me what made you think I was attracted to you? (I told her that I have no problem telling someone that I'm not interested,but if they want to be friends thats great). I like to get it all out in the open. And I remeinded her of what she said,then she replied with,YES,I am really attracted to you and I had a great time,and am looking foreward to seing ya again. but these days I'm busy with my kids and such,how do Thursdays work for you?? And I said well call me and let me know. Never heard from her. I recently knowticed that she's on this site now,and I emailed just to say hi. she emailed back,and said with your time of,(I'm off for a few weeks),we should get together So I emailed back and mentiond what days would be good for me,but will be gone after next week for a few days,well nothing back so far. Talk about insulting ones intelligence. :modhammer: Why am I 44 and still unmarried with no kids?? And developed my own independance? It's because of this crap,I've not had too many problems attracting women,but if I like them..... this is the treatment. Where are all the fairly attractive sensible women? | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:57:56 AM | | She's a game player and a head case. Don't waste your time and effort. There are many women who are extremely reliable and honest. You might have an affinity for drama queens without being aware of it. BTW, some men do the same thing to women. Cut your losses and move on. | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:02:27 AM | Once again, this is NOT a man/woman thing.
It's a personality issue...
Some people are flakey, some people lose interest, some people expect too much, and some people are just busy..
There can be a million different reasons...
Don't stress about it, if it's meant to be, it will be..
JJ | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:05:30 AM | Hossey...move on hun...this lady is playing with your emotions.....I must say there are men on here just like this too......just chalk it up a lesson learned....be patient....there are many fish in this pond....you may have to change bait....I did and it worked wonders....your special lady is there....just don't settle for less....ladybug | |
|
| |
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 3:53:32 PM | | Looks like you have more time on your hands than she does. She has kids ..keeps her on her toes. Yes she is talking with other guys too..and I assume you are talking to other women. Same old song and dance... | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 3:58:15 PM | | Phhlease. If I had a $5 every time a guy did something like this....And even more, like making a date, emailing the same day saying "see you there" and then not showing up. I think it's lack of human integrity (as opposed men/women). Also I feel internet is a big enabler of all of this because it's all strangers and so impersonal. If you met through friends /relatives I think chances of such behavior are less because it would be known. Just a byproduct of the process. keep plowing ahead, if it was all so easy we'd all be already paired up and lived happily ever after. | |
|
| |
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 4:53:08 PM | Hey 007-
You just need to be more Like J.B (James Bond)...the world was his oyster.
Personally-after having had an"episode" with a single mom with child- I have narrowed my focus even more to exclude women with kids from my possibility list.
Why? Because I am needy?!
No-au contraire...because I know that a mother's priority is always going to be child-first and foremost.
I suppose if I absolutely fell in love with the Mom and also her child (or kids-plural) ,I might consider hanging in there during the relationship growth phase.
That said- and knowing what I know now (having dated two women in my life with a kid) I would continue to date other people just to cover the bases(while seeing the single mom), because... as I said, a woman who is a parent will always put the kid and probably herself way before she'll open her life up to share with a new man.
Remember-she has already "been to the circus" and mere chemistry is not as attractive as it was before giving birth.
They(the divorced moms) are looking for someone who will either A) stick around, B) be a good surrogate father to their kid, or C) No Strings hot and heavy sex with no long term threat.(so if you were starting to fall for her-this could've scared her off.)
She's possibly been burned once in her first marriage(if she was married) and as a consequence "has issues."
Rule of thumb: Older single guys who have never been married are questionable to single gals looking for mates.
Divorced women with children are questionable to single men...
Consider that - if you 'hook-up' with a single mom, you also have to be a successful step parent- and you have to deal with the ex-husband.
So really-when you date a divorced mom-you are actually embarking on a relationship with several human beings...Yikes!!!!
For some-the more the merrier I suppose...takes a certain type-are you that type?
I say-move on and be happy that she cut you loose...
On the other hand-perhaps she just wanted some nookie?
If that was the case-you missed out on a fun deal...
Enjoy and Plenty of Fishes in the sea...
R | |
|
| |
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 5:17:49 PM | Hey R,very insightful. Yup I've come to learn that women are really testing me on issues with kids,when they have them,because they want a dad to ultimately step father their kids.. But when I'm questioned this, Right away I tell them that I'm involved with a youth group and I love kids. It appears to score good Brownie points. And yeah I definitely love them,and thy definitely take to me,because I have a humorous kiddie side to me they like. But while still being at the responsible adult level. But being I have no kids myself it can appear unusual to some. But from my point of veiw I could come off saying to single people with kids "how much do you love your kids by not trying to make your marriage work?" Or "what? you could'nt control your passions enough to wait till you have a stable father?" lol,well you know what I mean,the list goes on,and there are many unfortunate circumstances out there,which I feel for . But the reality is,I've chosen to wait on all that I guess ,I've learned that to always keep opportunities open,until you're ready to commit to someone. Better than being COMMITTED i guess lol. I have an old saying with dating and when things start getting goofy like the olympics "let the games begin lol" | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 5:19:22 PM |
That said- and knowing what I know now ( having dated two women in my life with a kid) I would continue to date other people just to cover the bases(while seeing the single mom), because...as I said, a woman who is a parent will always put the kid and probably herself way before she'll open her life up to share with a new man.
You've got to be kidding me? You've dated two women with children and this is what you've come up with? Wow..........what a sad tale you tell. Such a pity for one to think dating a divorced person with a child/children is "embarking on a relationship with several human beings....yikes" (as you say). My guess is you really are "needy" and much too needy to understand what giving is. To each his own. | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 5:43:28 PM | I know I can rely on LinedInGold to cut to the heart of the matter and see both sides to a story woven on the forums...
Pfffffft... and you say women aren't reliable OP... can't get much better than that... | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:26:14 PM | I know I can rely on LinedInGold to cut to the heart of the matter and see both sides to a story woven on the forums
Pfffffft... and you say women aren't reliable OP... can't get much better than that.
Ummm...errr...is there something going on here, that we should know about?...........
Really OP...sounds like she just doesn't have the guts to tell you ...she's just not interested...... | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:33:18 PM | Probably just changed her mind, or maybe she's holding out for something better to come along. You're probably better off without her....Go out and find someone who is stable and be happy.... | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 7:47:49 PM | This is "cutting to the heart of the matter"?
Sorry, Charlie, but getting involved with a woman who has one or more children, you *are* embarking on a relationship with several human beings; her, her kids, their father(s). And I would be running far and fast from a woman who didn't put her kids first, but to be telling someone "yes, I am interested" and then completely blowing them off (and who hasn't been blown off by a woman at some time in their lives? oh well) is just wrong.
The very attitude that wanting someone to at least be honest, if they are not going to live up to their words, is "being needy", much less being "much too needy to understand what giving is" is outrageous and condescending. Sorry, I have no sympathy for a woman who is going to string a guy along, no more than for a man who does it to a woman, and I certainly have no respect for anyone cheering this kind of balderdash on. | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:34:39 PM | | Yes, I agree. One can always count on ladies to be unreliable. That is, one can never count on the reliability of ladies. Damn, I need to work on this, be right back... | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:13:17 AM | You've got to be kidding me? You've dated two women with children and this is what you've come up with? Wow..........what a sad tale you tell. Such a pity for one to think dating a divorced person with a child/children is "embarking on a relationship with several human beings....yikes" (as you say). My guess is you really are "needy" and much too needy to understand what giving is. To each his own.
AND ...
I know I can rely on LinedInGold to cut to the heart of the matter and see both sides to a story woven on the forums...
Pfffffft... and you say women aren't reliable OP... can't get much better than that...
^^ ha!?
Either the rest of us neophytes here are missing something or the two of you should collaborate as editors and start some magazine with a title such as "How to jump to conclusions and label others ... quarterly".
I have no idea what I'm missing ... unless this is one of those female-intuition things.
Maybe the OP's title should be "Why I've given up on trying to understand women" | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:23:19 AM | | Some women either like to see if they can "get a guy" even if they don't want him. Anger issues with father ect. the first post was right. She's a flake. A lot of women are divorced because they're just that. Yeah there are guys like that but I don't think nearly as many and it really doesn't matter. She is and you're not. Cut your losses and don't get suckered by her again. Should be a site for people like that that you could check before getting sucked in. If there's one entry for a lady, well it could just be sour grapes but if there are six different verifiable entries you'll know you're not the first and won't be the last. Pray for her kids...there are a lot a ppl who should never have been allowed to have them in my opinion | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:24:52 AM | This thread was somewhat true and somewhat silly.
My children have a great father (two kids and the same father) HOW SHOCKING some people might find that!
I am not needing anyone to "stick around" unless he wants to.
I am not looking for a "surrogate" father to my kids.....kindly stay away from them. They are mine.....not yours.
Hot and heavy sex...how charitable of you LMAO.....to offer that to a poor mommie....get a grip. | |
|
| |
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:12:01 PM | | PLEASE READ This has been an interesting forum ,and I believe some cans of worms were opened. Alls well with me and thank you all for your insights. Yup I do sense that she really is'nt all there now. But I think the potential,and the unrealistic expectaions sort of got to me. Was sure nice being out with someone I felt sparks for. A lot of times I attract women who don't even appeal to me. If ya look at my pics,I'm far from a 10 but not bad looking. Be nice to meet someone in that catagory. OK now a new point, I went to a resataurant with a buddy today,and this waitress who he knew was there and she was quite attractive,and nice.,but the more she talked to us ,She went on about her husband (I think) who was very abusive to her,not necessarily physically but in other areas,sounds like a real nut case,and she was really frustrated. I'm sure her 3 kids have seen alot,so sad that this is going on everywhere. Do people not really look before they leap or what?? | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 2:03:50 PM | Thank you Psssst and please know I think you're priceless!
Now what about that collaboration?!!! 
"magazine with a title such as "How to jump to conclusions and label others ... quarterly"
Let me set you straight here. First we would never get involved in a project that would be "quarterly" not with all the intellectual and stimulating topics we have expertise in....has to be weekly. You apparently did not read the post from which I quoted the mighty wise one in msg. 9. I'd say (my professional opinion only of course) he's the "labeling type".
Evidently acronym is equal to A. S. S. ???? | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 3:04:22 PM |
the two of you should collaborate as editors and start some magazine Dayum... how did I miss this little job offer?
K... here are my contract requirements... none of them are negotiable...
1. I want us to have twin body-builders in a uniform of cut-off shorts fanning us... with palm leaves... and I'd prefer if their names were something like Juan and Enrike...
2. Spring water running from a fountain constantly... I don't drink it, but I like the ambiance...
3. A staff of three assistants each... after all, there are far too many screwed up people for us to deal with this all on our own...
4. Syndication... in no less than 5 national periodicals... and none of the rag mags that talk about how Quasimodo is pregnant with quadruplets and sueing Clinton for child support...
5. Weekly pedicures, manicures and facials... just cause it's going to be important we look good...
6. Fresh, seedless grapes, peeled and chilled to 3 degrees Celcius... the green ones, not the red ones...
Well... that's a starter... I'm sure I'll think of more and you can have your people talk to my people...
Cheers...  | |
|
| Women are often not good at being reliable
Posted: 11/20/2007 3:35:13 PM | ..."Do people not really look before they leap or what??..."
Where you been hiding???? under a rock??? NO, most do not look before they leap...men OR women...I can be accused of the same in the past...you just learn, that's all I can say.
Any quirks you may want to overlook in the beginning, will come back to bite you in the A-S-S later on. | |
|
Home
login 
