| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 5:21:19 PM | Okay, here is my delema, and maybe you can tell me what to do!
I am 24 years-old and the object of my crush is 18. He is a friend of my friends husband, I know it sounds complicated already, but it really isn't, trust me.
Okay I sorta sounded too wanting and really sick. Everyone told me to be forward and tell him what I really want, so naive me did this, and this is the speil!
I told him that I wanted to give him you know what, and that I was an amazing performer, and that I was going to be home that evening.
Well with of course many other words in between.
Needless to say, he didn't show up and he still hasn't called me!
But I didn't want to sound like a whore (ho), and I did, and I was brutally honest and now almost 2 weeks later he won't even talk to me, he won't even go over to my friends house.
I feel so bad that I was honest, and forever feel embarrassed that I would sound so crazy.
How do I let him know that I am truely sorry?
How do I let him know, I don't really do that thing to strangers?
How do I let him know that I value his friendship?
How do I let him know that I want so badly to restart at "hello?" | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 5:42:57 PM | Have you talked to him at all??
I would just tell him you were sorry for what you said, how it was a little more forward then you normally are.. claim temporary insanity if you have to...
I'm not a guy, but I think it's safe to say you blew this one big time. There's a way of telling a man that you want him without freaking him out. Obviously you learned the the hard way what NOT to do. Would have been better to say, hey.. I think you're really cool and I'd like to hang out and get to know you more.
Keep in mind he's 6 yrs younger and is more than likely at a different stage in his life than you are and might not understand how to start over like you want.
See if you can get his email addy from your friend and email him and explain things in detail. After that it's a waiting game. That means YOU need to wait for him to decide what he wants to do next. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:32:18 PM | I agree with the post #2. You blew it. But only because he is 18 years old.
At 18, guys may be considered men physically, but not mentally. You were way too direct for his age. You probably freaked him out and it will probably take him years for him to see you as anything but a desperate woman.
Oh, and he's probably bragged to a million of his buddies about having a woman desperate for him...
There is also a huge maturity gap between the age of 18 and 24. No amount of your explanations will work things out in his mind.
However do not despair... by the time he reaches age 24, he will be desperately trying to find your number. Trust me.
He would've most likely responded positively had you acted like an 18 year old girl. You know, chew bubble gum and twirl you hair around your finger. But never be direct. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:44:18 PM | Tell him. Hell, show him this thread. Look, honesty is always good. Yeah, you might have drove him off, but you gotta let the chips fall where they may.
If you want to salvage things, be honest. Tell him you were sorry for being so forward. Most importantly, you have to him believe what you're saying. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:43:44 PM |
I'm not a guy, but I think it's safe to say you blew this one big time.
... Well... Not um... quite... 
Just chalk it up to experience. Apologize, let him take it or leave it. Keep in mind that someone at 18 is way more aware of the age difference between himself and a 24 year old.
You probably scared his balls back north from whence they just descended in the not too distant past!!! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:00:13 PM | This isn't even an age thing. Its more of a "I don't want that type of woman thing"
I'm 27 now, and if a woman comes up to me and says that, I would do the EXACT same thing. If I were 18, I would do the same EXACT thing. If I were 9 I would've cried home to mom, and then do the same EXACT thing.
Why? All guys want the same thing: a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed. He doesn't know you, so now he thinks you're a freak in the bed, a freak in the streets, and a freak at church.
98% of guys out there don't want that for a relationship. They want a girl they can bring home to mom, and a girl that says/act the way you described you did in your first contact is NOT that type of girl. That might not be the case, but that's all this kid as to go with, and perceptions can be more powerful than reality.
Bottom-line is, move on, and take this as a learning experience. That's what life is all about. You live and you learn. Now you know what NOT to do the next time you meet a guy you like. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:19:46 PM | My feeling is you likely scared him off. If he was my son at 18 I don't think I would be too happy if a 24 yr. old wanted to give him what ever......show him the ropes etc.
I don't think you can win him back, this may have scared him away from women for a while and will start looking for the under 18 girls.
Some guys like to do the teaching... | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:57:48 PM | Maybe...just maybe.....he just wasnt into you...I would leave it alone...and.....let him come to you..if he is interested......Maybe next time ..you should think about what you are going to say...before you blurt it out... | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:05:55 PM | | Gosh!~ he's only 18! He probably thinks of you as an old woman......especially compared to the 16-17-18 year old GIRLS hes been dating....no darned wonder you scared him off....... | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:15:24 PM | | "I have a crush on you" Should NOT translate to " I want to *bleep* you". Ever hear of innocent flirting then let him pursue you if he's interested? | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:38:03 PM | Maybe the bigger question is.....are you really going to let the possibility that an 18 yr. old might have blown you off completely freak you out??? I wouldn't even apologize, I'd say that I wasn't really acting like myself that day and that I hope that you didn't assume that's how I always am. You did mention that "his friendship" is important to you....were you friends before this little "thing" happened??? And if so, then I would think that an explanation should NOT be necessary. After all, my FRIENDS know that I'm not a "ho" and I don't have to tell anyone that. I most certainly don't have to explain myself to anyone who does NOT really know me but would make ANY sort of assumptions about me. If I would do anything, I might mention to your mutual friend that you feel that you handled it badly...that you were so nervous because you have this "Crush" that you acted way out of line for your normal behavior. IF, of course, this mutual friend doesn't mind playing the go-between which most people do (as well they should...lol..that gets even MORE messy....) but perhaps if they were to mention in passing that you had been nervous because you really like him, that people had been telling you to just be "bold" and that you realize you flubbed it up......Well, IF he's even close to mature enough to take that into account (but..oh wait...he's 18! Oh yeah...well...never mind) then maybe someday he'll call. If not...I'd say count your blessings and go find yourself a Man....you know someone who can LEGALLY take you out for a drink and a nice dinner w/o having to borrow the car or um....well....you see where I'm goin'.....Sorry! (And I am sorry that you're feeling so badly but not you now what you do NOT want to do in the future. Yay...life's all about learning things like that and deciding who you want to be as defined by the choices you make every day. Better luck next time....)  | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:54:35 PM | | Oh now...don't chastise yourself over this! He'll be wishin' he was ready for you that day whenever he does get the itch for some hot sex from a lusty babe. Even Mr. You- Know-Who a few remarks up knows that. That double standard bullsh1t's gotta take a flying leap, already. They're not always so worried about appearances, are they? Didn't think so...Love, Titus | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:04:56 PM | OK... you made a mistake. Now learn from it and move on. It stands to reason that you will never get chance with him again. Let it go and find another to date. Trying to hang on to something that never was hoping for it to be is futile.
:))
Witchy | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:07:54 PM | | just a quick word of advice.......... it did sound like a hooker. You should have started with some innocent little flirting.... then after a week or so.... sttep it up a little yal are all doing the same thing then you could have moved in and kissed.......lol.... be sly | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:18:33 PM | Just dont worry so much about this guy,
heck you'll meet someone older and ready to hear the FUN stuff,
well.. wait a few dates at least I mean, but yea, don't give up on expressing those
needs verbally or otherwise, live and enjoy! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:56:23 PM | | I'm proud of you. You are listening to your conscience and attempting to right a wrong. There will always be temptation and a desire for instant gratification. It takes courage to know right from wrong. To manage our behavior (and words) takes courage and character. Next question: do you wish to reconnect with him to make amends or to save your reputation or to bed him? If your answer is to make amends; bravo! He may or may not forgive but inside you will be changed forever. There are always consequences when we go against our right and wrong compass. If you answered save reputation or bed him ... get help ... as you will have difficulty managing your behaviors the next temptation arises. You're a smart woman, who got off-track. Consider it a temporary detour not a way of life! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 12:01:32 AM | At first I wondered why a 24 yr old woman would be interested in an 18 yr old boy (big age difference when both still so young), but then I read the rest of your story.
Good God Woman! What the heck were you thinking? Yuck!
If it were me I'd tell him I was TOTALLY wasted at the time and then I'd clean up my act - starting with going after men my own age (actually mentally you are very young, especially since women mature faster) and never act like a ho again!
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:04:45 AM | Don't feel bad about a 18 yr old reacting like that.
I'm a lot older and I still react like that when I'm approached that way..
Ever heard of STD's?
Women that come on like that scare the hell out of anyone that knows about STD's..
The reason why is because it makes a man think you have already been with too many. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:23:33 AM | Next time think before you speak....you probable scared the poor guy off,oh and dont always take your friends advice,so young with so much to learn
I'm sure theres plenty of guys out there that would have jumped to your offer ,but yeah you make yourself sound whorish | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 1:43:31 PM | Wow. You really told him that? Was there any hint from him that he was interested in you before you said it?
I don't think that was quite what people had in mind when they said be forward and tell him what you want...they were probably thinking you'd tell him you'd like to go out on a date, which would have been more appropriate.
Could be two things:
1. He's a stand up guy who's not interested in just sex.
2. He's not interested in you.
If it's # 1, there's always the possibility that you can explain what happened and convince him that you were temporarily insane. Thing is...if it IS # 1, he's probably going to think you're saying that to every guy out there and that will lead him to # 2. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 1:55:24 PM | | Good lord! Sounds to me like the only thing you left out was that you would charge him ! You said you didn't mean to sound like a whore, but thats exactly what you sounded like. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 1:56:25 PM | This is just so wrong in so many ways. So what if he is legal......the age difference is still there......and at their ages it DOES make a difference. Geeze.....what were you thinking? Focus on your child that you mentioned in your other thread....he has special needs that need a lot of attention and quit worrying about your "special needs".
If it walks like a duck....it is a duck
If it talks like a tramp.....................
Yuck, yuck, yuck........That would have been inappropriate even with someone older. I'm guessing this tactic has worked for you before.....I really doubt this is the first time you used this approach, it is probably just the first time you were turned down. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 2:09:37 PM | I think I figured it out. The OP has no picture posted and says she is overweight. She also has a poorly written profile.
My guess is she gets no mail and no attention from men here on POF. Saying that she willingly gives blowjobs to men (and boys) that she is not involved with....and don't forget that she says she is good at it........must be a ploy to get dates.
Wonder how it's working out for her? | |
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