| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:01:13 PM | Hi, ive been talking to a girl online and on the phone, she sounds really great and we talk on the phone nearly every day (she rings most of the time is what ive noticed) . However, we have tried to meet 3 times before and it never happened so im wondering if im getting messed about.
First tme she was goin to come with her mate to town and i was going to meet her. However after around 9pm her phone was off and could not get in contact for the rest of the night. THe next day,she said she phoned saying she tried to get in contact but says network busy. Was a bit suspicious of this but a few days later i tried ringing her and also got the same message (she does get bad signal sometimes as she lives in a village )
Second time, during the day, her mate slipped on the pavement, got a nasty gash and had to goto A and E to have it checked out, by the time she came out, it was in the evening, so it was too late for her to go home, get changed then come to my town.
Third time was last night. She works in a quarry as an office assistant or something - deals with deliveries from trucks etc... Yesterday she and her work colleges were messing around and something hit her in her eye, a little rock or mud. Cant remember but she had to go to A and E supposidly to have it checked out and put an eye patch. The doctors supposidly said that its best not to drive as it could affect vision so she could not meet.
Ive talked to a few friends and they seem divided. Some say that this is all suspicious, however some say she is interested , otherwise why would she phone most days after her work. To be fair, we do talk long on the phone (sometimes up to an hour) and we always have a good laugh.
Thing is ive been messed around far too many times in the past - in relationships AND in the dating stage with other girls, so im immediately thinking something is not right,
What do you think is going on? | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:24:50 PM | The key words are..she already has a mate. She likes your emails but not ready to make that step to meet you..because your fantasy..her mate is reality. She does not want to mess up the fantasy part of her life.
Don't ask to meet again..just be email buddies and leave it at that... | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:34:14 PM | | She probably looks nothing like her picture or the image you have of her........so she isn't going to meet up with you. She probably choses to keep you as a phone/chat buddy to keep you around. Quit asking her to meet up......... let her make decision to meet up.. and keep on fishing!~ | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:34:26 PM | | OP..........sounds like to me the old, mind playing game. Wants to keep you on the hook, but not interested enough to reel you in. IMO drop her and move on. You said she already has a mate, is this s female or a male mate? | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:03:21 PM | | The same thing happened to me and the man I'm dating. I had to cancel out on 4 dates before we were finally able to meet in person. I was sure I would never hear from him again after the fourth cancellation and he's told me he thought of giving up by then. Fortunately, he decided to give it one more try. We are both glad he was persistent. When we finally met, we had a wonderful time, and we really enjoy being with each other. So, don't give up. Things happen. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. By the way, loss of vision in one eye does affect a person's depth perception and does make driving more dangerous. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:06:05 PM | | A mate as a friend basically who she has known since school (shes a girl), not a "dating" mate :) | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:45:12 PM | | I say keep at it tillyou finally meet her. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:36:09 PM | Im just confused, if she didnt want to meet, she could easily just say no. And she also said she would come down all this time to meet, ive asked her would this week be ok and she said friday should be ok. Ive said i can come down instead of her coming this way and she is ok at it. Of course i do get worries im getting played, but there does seem interest. Im just going to keep my options open, maybe chat to a few more people off here. But i do like honesty  | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:52:44 PM | Making up excuses is more work than just saying "know what? I'm going to have to pass."
I'd say she's still interested BUT I would tell her to contact ME when she's ready and would not initiate anything further.
I had a guy I had to cancel on twice. After the second time he completely went off on me (different dating site) and I was very glad I didn't actually invest any time in meeting him in person.
I had been interested, but his reaction to my reality made me go... *Flick* | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 1:07:43 PM | I like the "3 strikes and you're out!" rule. If I understand correctly, not once did she call in advance to inform you that she couldn't make it did she? You always got an explanation the DAY AFTER she didn't show. I don't think that's at all cool.
You can have about as much fun alone as you can alone and waiting for somebody that never shows up. 
Regards and best wishes.
- Michael  | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 1:25:08 PM | | She is not being very creative with excuses (they all seem to have medical consequences). Probably married or involved. Likes IMing and emailing and phoning. Safe little way to cheat. Has to keep you on theline by promising an eventual meeting. Hope I am wrong for your sake but it's not looking good for the home team. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:06:28 PM | | Actually for the last two times, she has called in advanced , both around the afternoon. Only first time with the mobile business she couldnt get in contact , and i got the same message calling her a few days later so may be some truth in that. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:34:13 PM | We have become a sloppy bunch of people.We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. On the Human Interaction Stock exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. Now you think it's no big deal she didn't meet up and cancelled three times but it IS a big deal. Why? Because you should be persuing and meeting a girl at least as good as her word! Here's what's up....an "excuse" is a polite rejection. When a woman likes someone, we really like to meet them. Especially in person. I know, I know...Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to even think about meeting up w/you. It was just THAT CRAZY. Bullshit.
When we really like someone we will move mountains to meet up with them. We like to take a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. and we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were feeling you, meeting up w/you and FINALLY meeting would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never NOT want to meet you!
p.s. It's possible her village has lost its idiot!
Good Luck~ | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:36:30 PM | | things happen like this OP. I do believe you need a little more self confidence. She is not messing you about, she just sounds really really unlucky! Why would she ring you up if she wasn't interested? Try and rationalise it - and try and not compare her with whomever went before. She's the future, not the past. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:43:25 PM | | OP take that hook out of your mouth and move on. A fisherwoman's got you on her line and she won't be landing you for years. Don't care about what she's up to - focus on how it's making you feel and move on. Confusion doesn't bode well. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 6:08:30 AM | | Just sent a quick text saying if we are still on for tonight. Now just got to wait and see | |
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JaredR
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Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 8:13:49 AM | OP,
I have to agree with some of the others... It just seems like luck hasn't been on your sides.. That happened to me as well though so don't despair.
Think of it this way, when you two finally do meet, if you hit it off as well in person as you have on the phone you'll have one hell of a story to tell others of how you met and what a struggle it was... | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:25:48 AM | | Sounds as if she may be married and/or lonely and needs attention. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:55:27 AM | | Well she phoned up 2 in the afternoon saying she cant make it as she has to babysit tonight | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:03:08 AM | Then give up entirely on her. Stop calling, stop talking to her unprovoked... When she talks to you, be distant and uninterested.
Force her to make an effort and set up a meeting(which, if she breaks.. AGAIN, just drop her), and if it doesn't work, you're already well on your way of removing her from your life/not caring. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:37:42 AM | yes she suggested next thursday/friday as she is only doing morning shifts (Friday is better for me) so im not going to bring it up.
However she rang a few mins ago and really genuinlly felt sorry (she even said the word and she said she felt bad about it). She even said you sound pissed of, which i did not answer so she may be knowing how i feel now. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:15:43 PM | Since I am almost half a century older, not to mention an ocean apart, I can only observe what I have learned from watching my 19-year-old son. I have tried to teach him to tell the truth and follow through on his promises. A number of times I have been on the way to pick up a young lady, only to have his phone ring and hear excuses like the ones you mention.
Your situation sounds like too many things going wrong, and all of the explanations I can imagine are variations on one of two themes. One possibility is that her life is out of control and she may never get around to you. Another is that she is getting better offers at the last minute and lying to you to keep you on the hook. It's up to you to decide how bad you want to find out the truth. | |
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| What is happening?
Posted: 11/23/2007 1:50:31 PM | | Too much drama drama drama......you can't even find one night to get together and you want this person, WHY???? | |
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