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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 12:20:31 AM | | its been hard to move on from the girl i love i still miss her now but it was for the best im a british soldier tryin to find someone who will support me and stick with me theres only one reason i hate been in the army and thats because iv found it hard to hold a relationship wot do u think about seeing men who are in the armed forces? | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 1:55:09 AM | | My first husband was in the RAF, and I dated a guy who was in the army, but I wouldn't do it again, too much heartache. I'm getting to the age now where I want to be happilly settled with a man, not worrying about his safety, and spending half of the year on my own. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 1:56:15 AM | Dating men in the armed forces is not for the weak, that is if a relationship is formed. I am ex-military myself and I use to have problems with relationships as well, especially with the constant moving around and having to start over. When I first joined the military, after training that is, I did not want to date military men, but I found that civilian guys upon finding out about my job, were very intimidated by the fact that I was a soldier, therefore, I struck out alot as far as relationships were concerned. Have you tried dating military women? I know there are military women who would love to date someone that performs the same job they do, and that is serving your country, you would have alot in common, and would understand one another better as compared to civilian vs. soldier.
You are what you are. If women can not understand or be faithful to you while you are off performing your job and serving your country, then they more than likely would not be there within different scenario's as well, I think time will prevail for you and be proud of what you do, serving one's country is a very noble job, don't ever regret your job especially because of some inappreciative women who can't realize how hot military men are. :) Good Luck to ya. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 2:09:37 AM | | thank you i would try dating military women but theres hardly any in my regiment n the ones that are are already taken or married kinda hard really but thank u | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 2:24:19 AM |
You are what you are. If women can not understand or be faithful to you while you are off performing your job and serving your country, then they more than likely would not be there within different scenario's as well, I think time will prevail for you and be proud of what you do, serving one's country is a very noble job, don't ever regret your job especially because of some inappreciative women who can't realize how hot military men are. :) Good Luck to ya.
Yes OP, you are what you are, and you should be proud of it, but at the same time, it doesn't hurt to try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. I spent 9 months worrying myself sick over my partner and eventually lost him. People have their own reasons for wanting to avoid the kind of heartache that military relationships can bring, and it's not always down to worrying about them cheating, some of us have much more depth of feeling than this particular lady imagines. I'm not saying that people shouldn't date you, but you should try to understand that there are different reasons why some would not want to. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 2:36:24 AM | | i understand thank you i dnt worry about cheating if they are going to do it then thats there problem i detest it they no where to go if they arnt happy i worked very hard in my last relationship and spent a small fortune doin so not all military relationships bring heartache i always remain commited n i'll be gettin out son anyway to tke ova my dads business so i wont have to worry about it for much longer thank u for ur words of wisdom | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:59:04 AM | My dad was in the navy 12 years and my mum and dad had seven children. They split some years after he left the navy not in it. My mum was close to the other naval wives, they even rallied round when I was born when me dad went off for months at a time. Their was a close sort of community. Me mum loved it living in foreign lands,
She even used to wear the native type clothes.
I don,t think families go abroad like they used to anymore. Some women don,t mind when their partners are away they have full lives although love them don,t fall to pieces. Their are other women who fall to pieces if their partner goes to the shop to get some milk and does not come back in time. (Their is men like this as well suffocating)
I think you will find someone nice, you just have to try a bit harder but their are lots of independant type women around today. Expassilly in the forces. One of my daughters in going in the navy soon to train to be an officer. Mind you I think its a bit different if you are a female cos theirs lots of men in their (not that she is looking for anyone or that is the reason she is going in.) but you will find a nice women to be your girlfriend just make sure she does not fall apart and questions you when you have gone down the shop to get a pint of milk. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:09:55 AM | | I find them curious and they have interesting stories. They also have a role in this life that I would not be able to fulfill if put in their position. Love, Titus | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:33:27 AM | "Yes OP, you are what you are, and you should be proud of it, but at the same time, it doesn't hurt to try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. I spent 9 months worrying myself sick over my partner and eventually lost him. People have their own reasons for wanting to avoid the kind of heartache that military relationships can bring, and it's not always down to worrying about them cheating, some of us have much more depth of feeling than this particular lady imagines. I'm not saying that people shouldn't date you, but you should try to understand that there are different reasons why some would not want to."
Last time I checked, people can die even outside of fighting for one's country, someone can get hit by a bus, or shot while walking along the street. I feel military men are the finest most countries have to offer and if a woman, can't understand that, it's her problem, and women can give any excuse they want, because that's all it is, an excuse, men are men, no matter what they do for a living, I wish more women would understand that. I feel the same way about our female troops serving as well. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 10 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:38:32 AM | "i understand thank you i dnt worry about cheating if they are going to do it then thats there problem i detest it they no where to go if they arnt happy i worked very hard in my last relationship and spent a small fortune doin so not all military relationships bring heartache i always remain commited n i'll be gettin out son anyway to tke ova my dads business so i wont have to worry about it for much longer thank u for ur words of wisdom"
I would like to think you are not merely getting out of the military because it's hard for you to meet women, because if so, that is one lame excuse troop :) I would recommend before you make such a hasty decision, you talk to your re-enlistment NCO, maybe re-enlist into another MOS, or another duty station? All I"m saying, is review your options before you make a decision based on a lonely heart, you are not the only military member to even state these things.
I've seen military members give up their careers because some woman back home was whining, etc...and then almost 90% of those relationships never worked out, and here this man has given up a career and still no woman. So explore your options before you get out, and if you still decide you want to try greener pastures, that is great, but don't do it because it's hard to get a woman currently, that is not a good or mature reasoning for getting out. Just my opinion. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:45:09 AM |
Last time I checked, people can die even outside of fighting for one's country, someone can get hit by a bus, or shot while walking along the street. I feel military men are the finest most countries have to offer and if a woman, can't understand that, it's her problem, and women can give any excuse they want, because that's all it is, an excuse, men are men, no matter what they do for a living, I wish more women would understand that. I feel the same way about our female troops serving as well.
Excuses is it? maybe you should try being on the other side. Having to pretend that you are fine to your children, when all the time you are being torn up inside every day with a gut feeling that this could be the last time you get an email from someone you love completely. Maybe some people don't feel it so strongly, but I knew what was going to happen, and I begged him to come back, but of course he wouldn't. Yes, it's true, we could all go out and get run over by a bus tomorrow, but you know yourself there is more of a risk with a job in the forces. You accept that risk because it is what YOU want from life, that doesn't mean that everyone else should want a partner who has chosen this kind of risky lifestyle. We're not all the same, have a little respect for other people being entitled to have their own feelings, without branding them as excuse makers. You are way too judgemental on other people. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:57:56 AM | "Excuses is it? maybe you should try being on the other side. Having to pretend that you are fine to your children, when all the time you are being torn up inside every day with a gut feeling that this could be the last time you get an email from someone you love completely. Maybe some people don't feel it so strongly, but I knew what was going to happen, and I begged him to come back, but of course he wouldn't. Yes, it's true, we could all go out and get run over by a bus tomorrow, but you know yourself there is more of a risk with a job in the forces. You accept that risk because it is what YOU want from life, that doesn't mean that everyone else should want a partner who has chosen this kind of risky lifestyle. We're not all the same, have a little respect for other people being entitled to have their own feelings, without branding them as excuse makers. You are way too judgemental on other people."
Actually, I have been on the other side, but thank you :) I married a military man, would you like to say that again? :) I met my ex husband while stationed in Europe and we were together for seven years, and yes, I dealt with the deployments, I dealt with the hectic lifestyles, I dealt with missing him so much I thought I would die of lonliness without him, but I loved him, and I knew no matter what at that point in our lives, no matter what he did for a living, I loved him anyways. And I will say once again, if a woman is going to judge a man by his job, primarily being in the military, she will judge outside of this scenario, where everyone is entitled to what they want or do not want, I find once again, it's only excuses, for men are men no matter what they do. Of course I'm judgmental, same as you and everyone else, get over it. I've seen the "dear Jane" letters, I've seen the "dear John" letters, always from women who claim they can not take the lifestyle of military members, they are full of crap, and as I said earlier, our military members deserve to be happy, and I wish more of them would be more picky as compared to the civilian ho's most of them pick up at the local bars, I think if military members just stay the course, they will eventually meet women they deserve and someone who can handle the lifestyle, it takes strong men/women to deal with it, and if you aren't strong enough, then don't do it, that' simple, because some other women will greatly benefit from it I"m sure :) | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:03:43 AM | | i have recently dated a man in the army i was only with him for about 6months, but he had to go to iraq, he left at the beginning of th month. we had a good relationship, but the reason he broke up with me is because he was so scared i would send him a 'dear john' letter and break up with him that he did it before going. he's made it easy for me to get over him i guess, as there's no contact, but its another side to the story...this is what i think one of the women who posted a reply were trying to say, is that u can commit to someone, anyway in the army or not and you never knw what can happen. im a very trusting person, and it attracts cheaters, but no matter how many times a relationship fails, everyone is different, i love being in relationships so i wont believe that every relationship will fail, cos the one ur suppose to be with wont fail! theres a quote from a song that means alot...."this can only be a good as we both make it, guess sometimes is gonna hurt, we can be as happy as we want to be girl but we gotta make it work" and that to me stands for most relationships. if both of you want it, it doesnt matter what kinda job someone has, i beleive that 'the one' will see that and stand by you, u just hvnt found her yet. have faith. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:06:59 AM | | So you married a military man, so did I, and I would have done so again had I not lost someone I loved, and if not being able to handle the thought of going through that kind of heartache again makes me a 'weak' person, then so be it. The OP was asking for opinions, you seem to consider that your opinion is correct, and everyone else is just making up petty excuses. If I already loved a man I would go through whatever I had to all over again, but sinse I don't want to go through that again, I personally find it better to just keep away from that kind of possible situation. That isn't an excuse, it's my reason, and I have a right to make my own choices just like you do. If you chose to be in the forces, you chose to be for YOURSELF, because it's the lifestyle YOU wanted. If someone else no longer wants that kind of lifestyle then that is THEIR choice, and they don't need make excuses for themselves for taking that decision. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 15 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:13:10 AM | | Actually, I believe you are very touchy, and hey, that's ok, but you fail to understand there are two sides to every story, and you seem quite upset that I disagreed with you, that is not my problem, I do believe it's yours. I also stated you had every right to make up any excuse you want, therefore, I don't understand why you are repeating yourself, hmmmm. Nonetheless, I hope you calm down and realize that other people have opinions as well, where I feel you are merely making excuses, that is my opinion, and will not change, same as your opinion, I for one accept that, if you don't, that is your problem, not really my problem now is it? :) | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:19:40 AM | I also meant to say, yes I chose to serve my country, hence why I know the other side of it, where no one can force anyone to date military members, I hate to see military members discriminated within this part of life, most women who state that they will not date military members, will date a cop or firefighter, or someone from another dangerous field, which makes them hypocrites, I"m not stating this is you, but I have seen this, that is why I feel more times to none, women make excuses, and men as well, I will be fair.
It just absolutely rubs me the wrong way for anyone to stand up to a soldier or military member period and say "I would not date your kind", for in my eyes, that is disrespectful as well as demeaning, that is my opinion, and I have seen it numerous times, and that is the side I have viewed numerous times, and I have found this is not really different for military members worldwide, same issues, same discrimination. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:26:47 AM | | Oh please. You consider this and that disrespectfull, you consider this and that excuses. Who are you to stand in judgement over people, just because you serve your country. It is not discrimination, it is having the right to chose your own kind of lifestyle. As for me getting touchy, I just don't like people who lump a whole lot of people into a stereotype based on a few people. No-body likes to be called something they're not, and I don't make excuses, I'm honest about my reasons. If I were making excuses I would think of another reason to say why I didn't want to date someone, excuses are lies, reasons are reasons, there's a difference. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:40:23 AM | Yes, I served my country, you should try it sometime, if you can that is. So anyways.....
Ok, it's obvious you want to argue, might I suggest some other
avenues? ONCE AGAIN LADY, I WILL STATE YOU CAN CHOSE WHAT YOU
WANT! Just don't sit and make excuses, if you don't want to date
military members, then don't, it's that simple, but to come up
with each and every excuse, that's a cop out in my eyes, for I
feel you or anyone else could be missing out on some great guys.
I honestly do not care if you are touchy or not, this thread is
obviously bothering you. You state you do not like stereotypes,
but yet you stereotype, I believe that's being a hypocrite, last
time I checked in the dictionary anyways. :)
You call them reasons, I call them excuses, get over it, we
disagree, and last time I checked, I'm allowed to disagree with
you. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:01:33 AM | i'm sorry that you've lost the gal you loved.. stick with it mjf, you're doing something admirable that requires a lot of sacrifice and one day you'll meet a gal who has the awareness to appreciate that and the strength to embrace it and you'll know you've got a special one  | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:21:56 AM | (((Big Hugs being sent to You)))
Thank you for protecting all of us.
There is a girl in love with you, she's looking for you and she will find you or you will find her OR you both will run into each other one day when you least expect it.
My 2nd Ex-H was a Marine, my Son is a Marine, Father was Army, my entire family was/is Military and they had no problems getting a lady in their lives, sure, some had to wait and although it bothered them that love didn't happen instantly, it DID happen.
Hang in there sweety, she is on her way.
Belle~ | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:24:45 AM |
You call them reasons, I call them excuses, get over it, we
disagree, and last time I checked, I'm allowed to disagree with
you.
Tit for tat sweety, you're free to stand your corner and disagree with me, that gives me the right to do likewise :) | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 22 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:36:55 AM | | Exactly "sweetie" as I will continue doing so, don't forget that :) | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:46:42 AM | | The difference being, that you are slating everyone who doesn't want to be with a soldier and calling them excuse makers and complaining that they are discriminating against them, whilst I was merely stating my own opinion as to why I personally would not wish to get involved with a guy in the forces, and not in any way slating them or being disrespectfull to them. You are the one who is generalising, and that is why this argument started in the first place. You of course are free to think whatever you like about weak and excuse making women, but yet you do not expect them to come back and say that they are not weak or making excuses, they are just stating their honest opinion. You can argue till the sheep come home, you are the one with a blinkered view who refuses to see that people are individuals. | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:54:02 AM | Not exactly Pamerpooch, I know I come off very harsh, but I have seen the other side of how military members get treated by women/men, and no, I wasn't generalizing, I was merely referring to women I have witnessed who treat our men in uniform like crap, such as the ones who do not care that their men are over in a war, for they are far too busy cheating on them and emptying out their bank account and oh yeah, let's not forget the women that when their men are fortunate to make it home from war but disabled, they leave them because they no longer want to deal with a disabled soldier, so yeah, I've seen all of this, I do not have a "blinkered" (whatever that means) view of things, I just know one side of it all to well. I will state for the last time, that you are entitled to what you want, I just honestly hate to see people state that they will not even give military men a try, because from what I see, military men as compared to our civilian population of men, with few exceptions, are great men, they are the only types of men whom I have held long distance relationships with, and it actually worked, which is why I married one of them, unfortunately, it didn't work out in the long run.
I do however understand how hard it is to be a spouse of a military member. I must say, even after serving 6 years myself, being a military spouse was harder, my hat goes off to all men/women who take this on, but I would like to think that if a good man came along for you or anyone, that they would not be judged on what they do for a living, this is where I have a problem with what you stated, I feel all men deserve chances, no matter what they do for a living, I feel to deny a good man this chance on the sole grounds of what he does for a living, is narrow-minded thinking, but where this is understandable to a point, one does have to respect someone's opinion, and whether you respect mine or not, that's ok, many a man/woman has died so you can have that opinion and voice it openly, I hope you remember that. | |
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| a broken soldier
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:30:32 AM | | OP as a former US Marine I totally know where you are comming from. People always wonder why these fit guys have fat or ugly wives and your answer stems from their jobs... when at some time you can be deployed for months or in some cases(the US Army) years at a time to a place where you can't take family you get cheaters... hell in Camp Lejeune, NC the women have actually set up a signal with their front poarch lights. | |
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