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 Author Thread: Prejudging By Looks
 dupe1969

Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 1
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:18:37 PM
I kinda thought today on how come I haven't had too many replies to my profile. I asked a few of my new friends I've met on this site and came up with this .....

People look at my pics I have posted and think I'm slightly better than average looking. With this opinion comes the assumption I am possibly stuck on myself. But without contacting me and getting to know me, they do not know that I have more to me than looks. People today judge a book by its cover way too easily. I am a simple man with the goal of finding someone special to share my time with just as everyone else on this site. Take a closer look, maybe take a chance. You never know what's behind a friendly face... Good luck in your search!
 avalonswan

Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 2
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:33:34 PM
Hey, not that I am a social psychologist or anything, but in reviewing your profile and specifically your pictures, I'd say that you came off as a player and someone who would use a woman for a one night stand in their minds. You are fit, so I'd play that down with a few nice "corporate" type pictures from a photo studio. Something that shows you as you are and highlights this but does it in such a way as to mitigate your above average looks. You want to convey your look but not scare women away as your to good for them. Of course you also have to watch out for the sharks that want a sugar daddy to sponge off of.
This is just my interpretation though. Good Luck!
 jojonla

Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 3
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 1/10/2008 2:24:43 PM
I personally dont see player or when I see your pics as stated in the previous post. Thats a little over the top. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself high marks in the looks department. If you dont like what you see when you look in the mirror, how will another person like you.

Unfortunatley people are judged on looks first but remeber this when a person opens their mouth you can be considered ugly no matter how beautiful you appear to be on the outside.

Keep giving yourself high marks nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself as long as you dont put others down.

Good luck!
 scorpionking35

Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 4
Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:22:41 PM
You don't have any room to talk,you judge every guy on this site by their looks,"if your cute,i'll tell you",what kind of crap is that,why don't you stop judgin by looks,thats why you can't find no one,because no one wants someone that has a ugly personality like yours,so don't talk about judgin looks.
 Cajun3149

Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 5
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/13/2008 4:39:05 PM
Looks are skin deep. I was in a relationship with a woman who I thought was very lovely on the outside. She showed an evil inside. As the old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover".
 avalonswan

Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 6
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:03:06 PM
Based on Jojo's comments, I think some clarification is needed of my comments. In analyzing you profile from a male perspective, I would still say that your profile comes across as your trying to pick up a one night stand. What makes me say that is pictures two and three and that you have very little to say for your interests. Again I am no Dr. Phil, but this is what my interpretation is. This is not to say that you should down play yourself, As Jojo stated “be who you are” but perhaps better pictures in a neutral setting and some more cerebral information will serve you better. let women know what catagories your interested in and try an mitigate the negative effects your above average looks might have on a stranger. All in all though, remember that perception is reality in here and communicating yourself to a stranger is a high art form.
 LordGreystoke422

Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 7
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:55:45 AM
First off..the reason that you get very few responses is because men tend to outnumber women on these sites. You are probably writing to those women that are of above average looks. So how many messages do you think they get each day? They probably cant keep up with them.
Also Avalon is correct in that your profile is rather shallow. I think if you triple the size of your profile...things may improve..don't write too much like I have..people are lazy and wont bother to read it. For myself..it serves my purpose..it weeds out those who are not serious though can be disheartening. Your profile interests kinda sounded like you were looking for a Menage'a'Trois.
I also have to agree with the other fellow about JoJo... I have seen her on various other sites over the years and have written her a few times and I must say her attitude has grown increasingly worse based on her profiles... I mean I know on of POF she had for a time under location Nunya.... She writes things like this when its information that is totally pertinent on whether a man is willing to waste time trying to contact her. If you have an attitude like that WHY bother to post an ad?
 Dianne71301

Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 8
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/23/2008 4:09:24 PM
Hello - Happy Saturday to All:

While you are an attractive man, I don't see that your looks are that superior to many others on this site. As to what you have to say, your professions of being honest to a fault are on the one hand commendable, however, the wording makes you appear callous, to the point of being rude. And, Kudos for not wanting to hang with married women; but, are you really in a position to judge all married women that have an affair and lable them as not having any morals at all? Also, you say you are looking for the one that is right for you - yet you say "she should have her own life". Well, to a woman that may very well read as "he says he wants to find a mate but will I be just another Toyota he drives while he's younger, then as he ages he will need/want to settle down and will go get that Ferrari he's always had his eye on."

Perhaps I'm totally off base by all of this - but you did ask for some input. I also agree that you should invest in different pictures - let us see pictures of you iteracting with some of those friends that say you are too good looking to get a date..... show pictures with your family (children), if possible.

Also, if you are 39 and have never married (single on a profile means that you are NOT married but also that you are NOT divorced, i.e., single = never married), a woman will see that as a possible unwillingness to commit. So, if you are divorced, you should so state. And if you have never married, that is fine - but let the women know that you have had some sort of relationship that lasted more than a weekend, if same exists.

Good luck, and I hope that all the advice you are getting is helping on your quest for true love, Peace, Dianne
I agree with several others - you should post what it is you are interested in. Are playing pool, or hanging out in clubs... your only hobbies?
 playfulthrills

Joined: 12/16/2004
Msg: 9
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 2/25/2008 7:54:37 PM
well here my 2 cents YOUR PROFILE SUCKS

IF I WAS A WOMEN ITWOULD MAKE ME WONDER WHY I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU...


LOOKS... YOUR NOT BUTT PHUCK UGLY SO THATS A PLUS BUT U DONT give a women a reason to wonder about you and get to know you
 cerulyan

Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 10
Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:47:21 AM
I agree that there are many that only go by a persons looks and do not take the time to find out the inner person. On my profile you see only a top picture of me, I'm not being stuck on myself by saying this but I believe I'm a very attractive woman for my age,and most men think so to but once they find out that I'm a BBW (big beautiful woman, for those who do not know what BBW stands for) then they lose interest. Instead of taking the time to get to know me and find out who I am as a person they pass me off. All I can say to those who pass someone for their looks, size or what ever is that you might be missing out on something really good and you'll never know.
 JEJEsPlace

Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 11
Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:40:03 AM
Actually, the only thing preventing me from contacting you is your age. Oops...and a couple statements in your profile that lead one to believe that you're only after a one night stand.

I consider myself a little old for you...but that's my opinion. Prove me wrong if you think otherwise.
 catharsis1

Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 12
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Prejudging By Looks
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:53:36 PM
Look. I think everyone prejudges based on looks. But I would hope that nayone that is looking for a mate online has learned to give a little leeway. Pictures rarely do anyone justice, do they? But I think we have all been out on our share of dates with someone that we have no chemistry with. So attration is oftentimes something that you have to be THERE for. Don't worry if you're not getting tons of responses. Quality not quantity! Good luck, and have fun fishing...
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