| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:23:28 AM | I have heard people say that you need someone around your same age because you grew up in the same era. I'm not so sure that is true.
Wouldn't you have too much in common?
I have heard in the asian culture that 7 year difference (up or down) is the best because they have a balance of common knowledge and different experiences to keep it fresh.
How do the other cultures view it?
I know in the western culture there is a tendency (both male and now female ) to try and date much younger, 15-20 or more years. I, myself, at 48, find if under 35 I really have trouble viewing her more than a friend.
What does everyone think? | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:30:40 AM | When have you ever had "too much" in common with someone?? I would LOVE to find a man who does what I do, when I do it, and when I want to do it.
I think anywhere plus/minus two years is about ideal. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:33:15 AM |
What age difference is best?
Have too much in common? I would think that would be a good thing.
I say date whatever works for you, everyone is different.. Most men that I know want to date younger, and my opinion of that is they are trying to regain their youth. Usually they wake up after awhile and smell the roses..  | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:13:07 AM | The only difference in age should be when one is on their death bed and the other is standing with a lollipop next to them.
Really... age isn't really something to worry over. I use the equation: age / 2 + 7
That is... take your age. Divide it by 2 and add 7 years (rounded up.) I turn 49 on Sunday. So by this equation, I would date anyone 32 and up. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:48:26 AM | | I know people with age ranges of 9 - 14 yrs, the woman being the younger. I say whatever works for you......we will always have questions or we'd have nothing to talk about. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:59:16 AM |
I know in the western culture there is a tendency (both male and now female ) to try and date much younger, 15-20 or more years
If I date a man 15 years my junior he would be 32. Just three years older than my son. Ewww. If I date man 15 years older (so that I am 15 years younger) he would be 62. Closer to my father's age than mine. Again I say "Ewww"
That is... take your age. Divide it by 2 and add 7 years (rounded up.)
If I use this I would date a 31 year old. If I were to date a man who used this formula he would be 80. Do I need to repeat myself here? Ewwwwww!
How do these formulas work both ways? | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:00:09 AM | | It gets tricky when you calculate percentages. Let's say you start out at 25 and your GF is 20. She is 80% of your age. Seems fine, right? Now look ahead to when your are 50 and she is 45. Suddenly she is 90% of your age. Now, if you don't die soon enough, the gap shrinks and eventually she will catch up, pass by and be older than you. When the human lifespan increases enough it will be common for children to become older than their living parents. I have to imagine social expectations will adapt. And so I think it is a matter of opinion and there is no real answer. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:04:46 AM | I use a 10 yr limit on either side of my age which is more about what I am comfortable with than anything else.
A man outside those limits could convince to take a chance - if he's a very special man 
Everyone at every age is a little different - making those differences a bridge , instead of a divide , often makes the strongest of relationships.
I say keep your heart and head open, life often has a way of surprising us - or as I always say - "God has a sense of humour" | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:35:08 AM | | My personal preference is 5-6 yrs older or younger for me. I think the age difference depends on what a person wants, so I can't speak for anyone else. The only thing I would think about concerning a large age difference, would be how that would work 5-10-20 years down the road. Even if you can keep up with much younger now, will you still be able to do so down the line??? I guess just dating wouldn't matter, but this could come into play in a long-term relationship. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:47:29 AM | I don't think having "too much" in common would ever be a bad thing. That said, when we use age, it means we are making certain assumptions about that age so we're always going to eliminate the "outliers", those whose lifestyle, interests, etc. aren't really "typical" for their age. Do we really want to do that? Might we be passing over some real gems?
So, it's not so much what age difference is best as it is about being in the same place as far as goals, lifestyle, lifestage, energy level.... As a woman who probably started family, career, etc. a little later than average, I find the most in common with men up to about 10 years younger and 5 years older. I think a 10 year difference is a bit much though so I usually keep it around 5 years but I'm open to older/younger if the other factors fit. If I find a younger 30 who started early and is a match in maturity and intelligence (and isn't looking to have any more babies), I might consider him. If I find a 50 something who started later and is nowhere near the "grandfather" or retirement stage yet, I might consider him. But those are the "outliers" and they're rare. Usually, I will just not have enough in common to make for a lasting relationship with these men. However, a woman my exact same age with grown or almost grown children, or a woman who is "starting over" and might still be thinking about kids, would have completely different ideas on this than me. And hers would be just as valid.
The /2+7 formula is a ridiculous formula if you use it for very young or "older" adults. It's mostly touted by 40, 50 something men who still want to think they have a reasonable explanation for dating someone way younger. It's best applied to mid 30's with the + number adjusted higher than 7 if you're younger/older than 35, probably by 1-3 years for each 5 year difference from 35 (so a 25 year old would do /2+9, a 45 year old /2+9 or 10 and on up like that.) Otherwise, that would make my lower end 29 years old and I can tell you it's a long shot that a 44 year old and a 29 year old would actually be compatible. Physically and/or sexually attracted... I can see that. But long term compatible.... way long shot. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 1:21:50 PM | I like having a commonality in a relationship- whether it's as friends or someone I would date, there still needs to be some basic shared experiences in the time line... I have friends from most age groups from early 20's up, but would be more comfortable dating someone that has that shared experience, speaks the same language, lived through similar times. That's not to say that they should have the exact same experiences because that would be just weird and creepy.
As I think about it, I suppose I limit searches to +/- 5 - 7 years. Might go +10 years, but younger by that much puts them into a different generation, and that common ground would be muddied. That's just me though- personal tastes and all... everyone is different. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 1:31:22 PM | I'm thinking that if you have a lot in common with someone then how would conversations and interests deminish?
If the man is too young I may not have all that much in common with him. And the same if he is much older than me. I have dated younger and older. I think if I were ready to date again I would stay in a closer age range to myself. I would think it is a personal preference. I want someone who has the same interests as me and can understand where I am coming from. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 2:00:09 PM | As a rule of thumb the cohort rule is best. the cohort rule is an age difference not greater than ten years. personally i love to look at beautiful younger women , and would be flattered by their attention, but there is absolutely no way i am going out with anyone who is that much younger than me. too many issues can crop up everything from having more kids in your golden years to what you gonna do when shes forty and hot and your sixty and not. its not worth it. have heard of good relationships that beat those odds but i think i will play the odds, safer that way.  | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 3:39:39 PM | with in 5 yrs less or more  it will work for me same era, same interest
Now 10 yrs less or more is not that awesome 
Now 20 yrs less or more is totally not so  | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 3:56:53 PM | Statisticly... the woman should be 3 to 5 years older than the man so that on the average neither will have long to go after the other dies of old age.
Any other interpretation of the "Ideal age difference" is purely subjective.
My personal preference would be to find someone within appx 5... maybe 10... years of the same age.
I don't want a new mommy... and I don't want someone young enough to be my daughter.
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:03:03 PM | | age is totally irrelevant, if you get along what does it matter, within reason of course. At the end of the day it is your outlook on life that really matters and if you are young minded then this shows through. I usually tend to go out with guys that are younger than myself as I have a very younge outlook and generally find that older guys are more settled in their ways... but then I dont think I have ever grown up and dont really want to. We are all so different and want different things out of life, just be happy with the person that you are and dont worry what people think if there is a age gap, happiness is paramount. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:21:25 PM | | I like it best when the man is up to 5 years older,,,,kind of makes us even then! LOL | |
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notard
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 6:38:06 PM | | After several years of post-divorce dating in my 50's I find women 15 to 25 years younger seem to be the best choice for me. At 54 I started and maintained a fantastic relationship with a 29 year old. Going in she and I knew it would not last forever for many reasons not related to our age difference but we were quite attracted to one another and so were together for a year and a half. We are still great friends! | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:05:03 PM |
That is... take your age. Divide it by 2 and add 7 years (rounded up.)
That would make a fella .................... 32.
That's too young.
Late 30's and in their 40's is fine with me.
Now that we have that out of the way, where does the line start for dates?
^^BG^^ | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:23:57 PM | Well, if you take this number and divide it by this and then subtract whatever and square it by this.... blech......
Look, as far as I'm concerned, I want to be with a man that has the same understanding as me. Have you lived through the same things? Have you had enough years to experience enough failures and successes? Do you know who the Brady Bunch is? Ya know, the important stuff.....
I don't want to be with a guy that hasn't had the chance to screw up, make up, do over and stand firm..... time and time again.
And I don't want a man that's been there, done that and doesn't want to do anything anymore either!
Give me a guy that's no more than 5 years older and no younger than me.
I want to look in his eyes and see his experience... not have to go through it with him AGAIN.
Hell, I've been there and I ain't goin' back!!!  | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:26:14 PM | It seems some find this equation of mine hard to except. But it is for men only and yes, it does adjust the older the male gets. For instance, a 60 year old man must add 12 year instead of 7. For every year after 60, the number increases by 4 years.
Anyway... it's just a guide line that I use. I'm still full of life and I'm healthy. I see no reason why I shouldn't attempt to be romantic with women in their middle 30's and up. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/30/2007 1:14:58 PM | I've always done the within 10 years thing. That's younger, not older. I'm not interested in older women. Just a preference. My ex was 5 years younger.
Of course I started on this dating thing when I was 45 so my searches still start at 35.
I do prefer late 30's and 40's though. At least when you talk about something in the 80's they will know what you are talking about and the fact my oldest daughter is 24 I'd feel weird introducing her to someone that was only a few yrs older than her. I don't need a young thing on my arm to make me feel better, I need someone with intelligence. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/30/2007 5:59:22 PM | | I've been married to men of various ages. The oldest was almost 19 yrs older and the youngest was 10 yrs younger. I never found age to be much of a factor in any of the relationships. It is nice to talk with men around my age, and have the same frame of reference in relation to growing up and living through the same social and historical events. | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 11/30/2007 6:39:20 PM |    SO, FREDHH, DO YOU SELL LIFE INSURANCE OR ARE YOU AN ACTUARRY BY ANY CHANCE???????? SMILES, VARVARA   | |
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| What age difference is best?
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:05:29 AM | some very interesting opinions offered in this thread.
that is some formula offer age / 2 + 7 ???
where did that come from??
I do not have a formula myself, I tend to be attracted to fellows near my age give or take a few years... but mainly it is the area of interests that is attractive and not the age. | |
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