| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 8:18:39 AM | Ok so i did that thing a lot of us did and got pregnant and married at a young age, grew up and realised it was a mistake! ( not the kids obviously!) Now i find myself single with two kids at 31 years of age and wondering does THE ONE actually exist for everyone? I mean you watch all the romantic comedies and series on tv and being female wish that happy ending would come but life just isn't like that is it? Unfortunately! lol So give me some hope, any stories out there of that real life happy ending? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 8:25:42 AM | It's not over until you're dead.
Currently very happy with someone very special who is absolutely "the one" as far as I am concerned.
The thing is, that until it's over, you just never know what will happen next.
Stay optimistic, but don't fool yourself with wishful thinking -- see and appreciate what is, for what it is, now.
Happy is now. Happy is never "ever after". | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 9:14:35 AM | There's about a hundred for me, it's just WHEN I meet them. 
LOL Sorry - joke. There is no "ONE" but there are a few that with time effort communication and commitment, will not drive you totally insane... | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 9:15:23 AM | Does "the one" exist? Maybe. But it'll still be a lot of work and involve a lot of compromise and acceptance.
I don't think "the one" exists the way it's portrayed in movies. But I think it's possible for most people to find a deep unabiding love with a partner if they are willing to. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 9:41:21 AM | | For you, "The One" is an ideal that every man you meet will be less than. There are two kinds of women looking for men. One wants an ideal, a dream, to feel the way she imagines she will feel when she meets him. She invests herself in fantasy and wants the ideal man to come find her. The other kind of woman wants a man, as he is, because she knows what men are like and she wants to be with a man. If you are dreaming of Prince Charming by any other name, you won't be satisfied with any mere man of flesh and blood. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 10:22:39 AM | | A very realistic look at it grog280, especially the not being driven totally insane by them! lol People will always get on each others nerves no matter how much you love them! | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 10:56:43 AM | It's not over until you're dead.
This is the truest statement I have read on this site.....
 rune3
I know of people getting married in their 80's as it took them a life time to find "THE ONE".
I know of people who have stayed with each other through misery and died in misery because they thought it was for the "GREATER GOOD".
I BELIEVE there is one unique person in the universe that was especially designed for just you, and me, and every person on the planet. The only problem is trying to find them, this is not a small task.
All we can do is keep searching, high and low, near and far.... all the people that we meet will leave an "IMPRINT" on us good/ bad/ in-between.. and we continually learn about our own likes and dislikes through time because of meeting others.
Never give up hope, and never say I quit....... one day it can and will happen to me, you and all the fishies in the deep blue sea!
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 11:27:13 AM | Sure, there's a "the one" for everybody.
Unfortunately, I think my "the one" cut me
off in rush hour traffic, so I flipped her off,
and now she probably won't talk to me if
we ever do meet.
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 2:11:49 PM | Dead on description Moto...I am in the second class..yeah for me...left Cinderella land years ago
As for the OP, I am 41 and have 3 kids. Did I expect to be in this place at 41, not hardly. Do I think there is "the one" out there..I really do not know. I do know this though, I am a damn special lady, and therefore the man I get involved with will be damn special too.
You are not dead at 31..you are just getting started. Just remember to protect your kids in the process of dating. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 5:37:46 PM | | It seems you've done it the modern way that was probably the right way now that I have been cruising profiles on here. Try being in your early 30s and wanting to start a family and share your life with someone - but everyone else already had kids with 1, 2 or 3 other women. It's damn near impossible to find someone who waited. It would be nice to actually spend all years of a kid's life with the guy I started out with - but looks like that's just not the way the world works anymore. Just be happy you already had your kids - now you can hook up with someone who already had his kids too. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 11/30/2007 8:40:54 PM | To determine whether someone is truely " the one ", I think that it takes meeting the right person at the right time and under the right circumstances ...
jeffery | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/1/2007 5:33:12 AM | Yes, there is a "One"....but it's an attitude/choice within yourself that has always been there for you to make.
You've changed a lot in how you view the world since you were an idealistic, young dreamer. Now you know that life is chock full of imperfections & compromises.
The "One" is about finding a decent, kind person who also wants to make the daily choice (with you) to see the other person as, and strive themselves to be, as close to 'perfect' as they humanly can.....this too will be filled w/ imperfections & compromises.
It's not a fairy tale anymore....but I'll tell you what, the fact that your partner actively chooses, on a daily basis, the joy of being with you despite those imperfections & compromises is about the most romantic damn thing there is.
& it happens EVERY day!
How's that for a happy ending? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/2/2007 12:01:28 AM |
It seems you've done it the modern way that was probably the right way now that I have been cruising profiles on here. Try being in your early 30s and wanting to start a family and share your life with someone - but everyone else already had kids with 1, 2 or 3 other women. It's damn near impossible to find someone who waited. It would be nice to actually spend all years of a kid's life with the guy I started out with - but looks like that's just not the way the world works anymore. Just be happy you already had your kids - now you can hook up with someone who already had his kids too.
Actually Finn, I have the opposite problem. Most of the men on here my age ..their children are grown and out, or close to it. I didn't have my oldest until I was 26, and my youngest when I was 31. So I have a long ways to go in finish raising my kids. But if they can't deal with it, that is their issue not mine.
Good luck, you will find someone! | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/2/2007 6:13:20 AM | | thanks everyone for your replies. very interesting to get the varied responses. As for moto monkey, i went through a marriage with an alcoholic husband who could never seem to put the kids and i first for 8 years, i put up with a hell of a lot in the name of love but theres only so much of that you can take before the love eventually is kicked out of you! I'm not looking for the movie kind of love, i'm just looking for someone i click with that puts me first and is there for me through the ups and downs in life and vice versa. Someone who makes me feel special and i can make feel special too. Not much to ask in life you would think but a helluva difficult to find! Fairytales for me ended long ago! | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/3/2007 7:11:53 AM | I don't believe there is only just 'the one' for any person, but there probably are a few people who could be 'the one'.
"The one' to me is someone with whom you connect much more closely with on many levels than is normal. I have a couple of friends who were fortunate to meet someone like this early (20s) and are still married 35 years later and extremely happy! It can and does happen occasionally but I think it is quite rare.
I've been in a few LTRs, including being married for over 20 years, and even though they were responsible, stable men who never cheated on me, I never felt they were 'the one'. The biggest reason was that they were true introverts and I was not and we just could not connect on that level. The relationships became very hard over time because the men could NOT accept who I was--they wanted to stifle me into staying home with them ALL the time. When they found out I couldn't stay home 100% of the time they even started to become mentally abusive to some extent even though I was doing very benign things--volunteering time, going shopping with girlfriends, etc. only a couple of times a month. They could not understand me or accept me for who I was.
This time around I was determined to not only find what I had had before, I also wanted someone who was a true extrovert like me. It took 20 months, but I did find him! We both like helping people--last night we were over my bf's neighbor's house putting furniture back in place after cleaning more carpeting in his house. We truly connect on every level, including this one. We understand each other.
I believe with all my heart that Michael IS 'the one'. And that I was lucky to find him. We were talking over the weekend about our relationship and we both said that if for some reason this relationship fails, (even if due to death) it would be a very long time before either of us dated romantically again--if ever. Once you have experienced something this close it would be hard to settle for anything less. We both know how rare it is to find 'the one' and both very much appreciate how lucky we are to have found each other. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/4/2007 4:33:58 PM |
Yes, there is a "One"....but it's an attitude/choice within yourself that has always been there for you to make.
You've changed a lot in how you view the world since you were an idealistic, young dreamer. Now you know that life is chock full of imperfections & compromises.
The "One" is about finding a decent, kind person who also wants to make the daily choice (with you) to see the other person as, and strive themselves to be, as close to 'perfect' as they humanly can.....this too will be filled w/ imperfections & compromises.
It's not a fairy tale anymore....but I'll tell you what, the fact that your partner actively chooses, on a daily basis, the joy of being with you despite those imperfections & compromises is about the most romantic damn thing there is.
& it happens EVERY day!
How's that for a happy ending?
I think you hit the nail on the head ! I don't buy into "the one" thing, there are probably hundreds or thousand of people in the country that any one particular person could have a happy meaningful life with. I have met so many people looking for "the one" and to this day they still are looking for "the one". These are the same people that "won't settle for less" on their profile and have a very specific and ideal type person they want to be with. I can't help but think that most of them will be lonely until they do settle for less than their "dream partner". People rely on first impressions way too much. I have met many people that I didn't like at first that have turned out to be great friends. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/4/2007 9:39:44 PM | I dunno people. Not to sound cynical, but I believe "the one" for anyone out there is themselves. Meaning my "one" is me. A girlfriend, wife, whatever...is an added extra.
I used to be idealistic, positive, and assured in myself that a wonderful woman was out there waiting for me. Time and pain has thus educated me into the realistic logic now that I am the only person who can truly make myself happy. I can't expect nor want someone else to make me happy in life.
Now I find myself questioning what I believe. I can only believe in myself right now. I've lost practically all my faith in everyone else.
Not a happy story, but then again...life wasn't meant to be a happy story. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/4/2007 9:41:31 PM | | i agree with simplelady66. i had my kids later in life so they are 5 and7. most guys my age do not want small kids around and younger guys want kids of their own--not going there! if you meet somene who has kids you could be a good role mdel for them and an asset to their lives. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:57:43 PM | Am I the only one here who didn't get pregnant???? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/5/2007 5:35:31 PM | I met the one once but then I realized that there can be only one and cut her head off. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/6/2007 1:54:09 PM | There is definitely more than ONE. The ideal match may be one in a million, but that still means there are a few thousand 'ONEs' in the world.
It took over a thousand contacts to find my one, so patience and persistence may be needed if you are truly seeking a nearly ideal match. A few others came very close, but timing or other uncontrollable issues prevented it from working. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:30:09 AM | | I just read another blog about being 30+ and feeling like a freak for not being married with kids. I say dont worry about what everyone else thinks, enjoy life, try and meet people, and if it happens it happens, if it doesnt then it doesnt. Roll with it and when you least expect it you'll find yourself with someone that will probably end up being the one. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:46:14 AM | | For sure. My ex was 36 when we met. She has 2 kids. Wasn't an issue at all. Raised them as though they were mine, loved them as thought they were mine, still do and will always be there for them. So don't fret, it just takes time to find the right one. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:01:38 AM | Seemingly you are bringing the kids into the equation for finding "the one", as though they impede on your chances of ever finding romance again. Perhaps you should concentrate on your children first rather than seeking a partner.  | |
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