| | Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I have been involved in casual chat for about 3 months with someone I really like. She says that I am nice, funny, and that she is interested in me, but I have never been able to plan a date. She says that our schedules are different. I offered to go there, and meet her at a restruant any time she likes, but she doesn't say when would be a good time for her. I have a 4 day weekend and love to travel, and she only lives about 15 Min. away. Am I not getting the big picture? Should I just stop sending messages?? | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 3:27:11 AM | That's the thing with the internet-- You never know if the other person is being honest.
If she is going to great lengths to be evasive, one cannot help but suspect she's got something to hide or not being truthful about something.
If you haven't even met her yet, there is nothing that says you have to be exclusive at this point. Talk to other women while you are waiting, and see if you can get a date elsewhere. If she decides to come clean, she'll let you know. | |
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Kekun
| | Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 3:31:05 AM | After 3 months, she's not even able to find the time to take a coffee with you ? No even half an hour ? And she's interested ? She's lying and have something to hide.
You don't believe me ? Just tell her you want to see her and won't take no for an answer after all that time. She will of course reply "NO" and play the angry scene. Problem solved. You've stopped waisting your time.
NEXT ! | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 3:48:13 AM | I have talked to women like that. I just move on. If someone has issues and/or is into game playing its just not worth it. I am intelligent, loyal,articulate, gorgeous, self supporting home owner with a sense of humor and I keep in shape , if someone is still not interested in me or fears me for whatever perceived notion I cut bait... as the website states there are PLENTYOFFISH  | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 3:48:18 AM | | She's content with keeping things status quo. She either isn't interested in developing a 'real' relationship or, as suggested, she hasn't been completely honest with you. If you want more than a chat buddy, set a deadline. Either you meet in the next 2 wks (or whatever time frame you are comfortable with) or you'll move on. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 4:43:56 AM | | I agree with everybody here. She doesn’t want to meet you. But the reason can be anything. Why don’t you ask her? She might be just very shy of something or she might be married. Ask and you will have a chance to get a direct answer. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 7:00:58 AM | | If I were you I would just straight out tell her that you're here because you want to meet someone, and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her, despite the fact that she lives so closely to you. Tell her you think it's pointless carrying on a conversation with her if she has no intention of meeting you in the near future. Ask her to get back to you within the next couple of days and let you know what she has decided. That way, you will know that you made every possible effort, and if she still isn't interested, then it's her loss. I think some of the other posters are right, she is either scared of entering into a relationship, or she has something to hide. Either way, you may as well find out once and for all. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 7:09:32 AM | I have finally stopped laughing after trying to equate "loves to travel" with "only lives about 15 mins away".
Yes, you should stop sending messages. She is either married or is in some other way misrepresenting herself. Cut her loose. After all, it's only been casual chat so far. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 7:45:39 AM | Cardiac,
If, in 3 months, she can't find time for lunch or a cup of coffee, how on earth is she ever going to find time for a relationship?
It't time to let this fishy go and find one who is actually available.
good luck to you | |
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real12
| | Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 7:53:02 AM | Be careful here OP. I spent far too long messin around with 'something' here on this site & passed up more than I will ever know in the process. In the end 'it' just faded away.
Its far too easy to become transfixed with a few pics & promises here, but in the end keep your wits about you & by the sounds of it, your insides are already telling you something......listen to yourself OP. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:47:01 AM | I'm astounded at the amount of bad advice here! OP: Wait another 3 months! Drop hints now and then that you'd love to meet someday, but there's no rush. You've heard plenty of horror stories about people who rush into things, only to regret it later. Don't fall for that!
In fact, I'd suggest waiting 3 years before meeting would be preferable. Studies show that those who maintain contact for up to 3 years prior to actually meeting face-to-face have the highest probability for success! Why argue with what has been proven to work?!
The rest of you who have offered such poor advice should be ashamed! Ashamed, I say!! | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 9:52:20 AM |
The rest of you who have offered such poor advice should be ashamed! Ashamed, I say!!
Lmao, I consider myself well and truly reprimanded. I still maintain the OP should just be honest and ask her about it though. It would be a shame to waste three years contacting a person who had no intention of dating  | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 10:18:24 AM | | I have been on this site for about a year now and have met/chatted with men, (online) I will probibly never meet. We swap dating stories, give dating advice kinda like best girlfriends. The ones who contact me saying things like I want a long-term relationship and want to meet you for coffee , gets my back up against the wall, if you know what I mean. Being assessed over a cup of coffee isnt all that comfortable, waiting for the questions to be asked , responding, eating without choking on food, Who knows what her problem is, I sure dont. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 10:39:26 AM | have been on this site for about a year now and have met/chatted with men, (online) I will probibly never meet. We swap dating stories, give dating advice kinda like best girlfriends. The ones who contact me saying things like I want a long-term relationship and want to meet you for coffee , gets my back up against the wall, if you know what I mean. Being assessed over a cup of coffee isnt all that comfortable, waiting for the questions to be asked , responding, eating without choking on food, Who knows what her problem is, I sure dont.
That's fine if you make it plain to the other person that you're not interested in dating them. Then they can make up their own mind whether they want to continue conversating with you as a friend rather than potential possible relationship. From what I get from the OPs question, this lady is just stalling him without wanting to tell him one way or the other, that's when it gets into game playing and wasting peoples time. The OP could be wasting time getting attached to her when she has no intention of meeting him. In the meantime, he could be missing out on other opportunities, and Lifes too short to hang around waiting for someone who may never know what they want IMO. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 11:33:02 AM | This girl I've been talking to on here called ME to ask me if I wanted to hang out, I said yes and she told me to call her when she got done getting dressed.
I called her twice, she left me hanging the whole night, not even the courtesy of a phone call. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 11:50:33 AM |
It would be a shame to waste three years contacting a person who had no intention of dating
It's makes perfect sence. OP, Take 3 years minimal, up to ten years if needed. Most women generally need time for thier thoughts to gather. "longlivechivalry" is really giving the proper advise to other men.
[Mental note to self] "I don't know why I have never thought of this.
It's one less in the pond to compete with if he is occupied and
awaiting a date this length of time. "longlivechivalry" is an absolute genious!"
[/end of mental note]
Those voices.....I hear voices again.........where are they coming from? | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:16:45 PM | If a woman is interested in a man, the man would definitely know. Unfortunately, based on what you describe, it doesn't look like she is.
As far as being evasive, perhaps she's too nice to say: "Sorry, but I'm not interested in anything beyond cyber chat."
I'm not sure...
I would respectfully move on to another potential where you will have better luck. :) | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:23:21 PM | "longlivechivalry" is an absolute genious!
I'm far too humble to toot my own horn. But I've been trying to convince my SO of that little factoid for over 3 years now. One of these days, maybe she'll recognize it and give me that long-awaited smooch!
Or not.
Genius is rarely recognized in its time... | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:39:38 PM | OP, people are really jaded and you should let your own gut guide you with this woman.
Is it really that big of an investment to continue to communicate with her? Is it that big a waste of time? What's your goal? Just the big payoff? It is absolutely pathetic that one would see communicating with someone for any reason at all as a waste of time if it doesn't get them what THEY want. On a FREE dating site... No credit card required... You get NOTHING out of talking to her? Nothing? Your time is so valuable that it's pissed up against a wall when a woman just writes you for awhile?
Seriously...
The last relationship I had was with someone I met on another dating site. He contacted me but at the time I was in a bad place personally and not interested in meeting anyone until I got my sh.it together. He contacted me again and again and didn't give up. Two months later we met. We wound up together for 3 years.
Maybe she's not in her best personal space at the moment and is avoiding meeting people until she is. | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:50:12 PM | 3 months is a very long time to wait for someone that only lives 15 minutes away. Between my children and work i am a VERY busy person, but if someone sparks my interest(and i theirs) i have said that i will meet them within a month. If i don't do it by then that tells me we really didn't have much of an interest.
That being said I have only met 2 people so far......... maybe im overly cautious | |
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| Is she evading me, don't really want to meet, or just playing?
Posted: 12/1/2007 12:54:29 PM | When I'm in the mood to date, I meet someone within a couple of days.
When I'm not... You'd need a crowbar to pry my ass off of the couch and get me out there. It's just timing. I still like talking to people that engage me on some level.
There's a guy that was quite patient with me the past two weeks. I wasn't in a hurry for date #1 but added him to my favorites because I thought he'd be one I'd like to investigate when I was in the mood for dating. I wrote him and told him that. We ended up going out that night. Spur of the moment thing.
I haven't been in a rush for date #2 because... it's month end, my apartment is a construction zone, my daughter and I are arguing... blah blah blah.
He was patient enough, and didn't get all pushy on me, that we're heading to a movie tonight. | |
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