| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 8:20:33 PM | | I posted on here a while ago, been doin pretty good. A lot of going out with friends. But i still think about her constantly. Anyway.. I had received advice that I should "write her a letter explaining all my feelings" but not send it. well, now i've done that and I WANT TO SEND IT. I think it explains really well how I felt etc. Any advice? do I say screw it and send it, or forget it. It's not a mean letter with the whole "you ruined my life blah blah" but it focused on the things i loved about us and our relationship. any advice would be great. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 9:05:02 PM | Don't send it! I do this all the time and it does end up helping. Sometimes I write more than one letter. I just keep writing and writing. I eventually feel better and am so happy I never sent the letters.
I hope you feel better =) | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 9:05:02 PM | | I'd post it, but that's me. What's the worst she could do..ignore it...write back and tell you not to bother her again. If you can handle that, run out and buy a stamp, if not, put it away and maybe set a date...3 months from now, a year........then post it..or just keep it in a drawer until you can look at it and say...yeah, that was great, but now it's time to let it go, then burn it. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 9:20:16 PM | The whole point with writing the letter is to let go . But I understand that youd want to send it. I would too.
If you have all these wonderful memories of you two together, she probably does too.
Send it if you think it would make YOU feel better. But think about it before you send it. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 9:27:56 PM | | I know the point is to let go. Its just the first time i've put down everything on paper. and I want to send it to her. I know she's over it or she wouldnt have broken up with me, but I need some closure. AHHHH | |
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soxxs
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Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:08:08 PM | | If its closure you need then don't send it. Sending it will get you nothing in return except not hearing back from her which will make you feel even worse. So drop it and move on-ward and up-ward my friend. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:18:17 PM | I did that with my ex about couple months ago, except I sent an e-mail saying how much shit he had put me through and I'm glad that we broke up. I made sure to put a tracker (kind of creepy, but whatever) so that it would tell me if he even bothered to open it.
Sure enough, he did, and never deleted it. He still opens it up and reads it at least once a week to this day. Nice to know he's still thinking about me. Dumbass. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:22:17 PM | Only you know if you want to send this letter....
I did this with my ex and I was glad that I did. I made sure to block him so that he couldn't reply to the letter.
You know what the right decision is...Best Wishes! | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:19:26 PM | ^^^It was...you're probably already regretting it.
But good for you for having the courage to move on with your life!
Good Luck out there my friend!
Heart | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:20:30 PM | Gees......
2 and 1/2 hours worth of waiting for advise!
Ya sure took your time Hey!
Why did you even bother to post a posting?
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:26:11 PM | | I agree with soxxs. The letter is one written not to send. If you cant communicate face to face then it isn't meant to be. Remember there are plenty of fish and you will eventually find one who feels the same way about you as you do them. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:45:10 PM | | I've heard of this kind of therapy for a broken heart, I think it must be fairly common, I read about it somewhere else on-line, don't know if it works or not though, I sent mine. It didn't help anything, if anything it just made it hurt more. The way I heard it though is that you're supposed to write the letter and then throw it away or delete it. I guess it's supposed to be some kind of "release" of your emotional pain or something like that. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 1:23:26 AM | i wrote a letter to one of my exes never sent it..but came close explianed how i felt etc and the like it stayed on me at all times just incase i saw her...eventually i ripped it up and binned it. I Knew i was over her and she was over me so what was the point in giving her the letter...saw her recently shes not doing to well (think she was living in a caravan with her new bloke) sounds fun! especially in winter with no heating it felt good knowing i was over her, | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:41:29 AM | | I think it's good to be able to write it, put your feelings and thoughts on paper, it sometimes helps to move on. Rather you send it or not it is up to you. To me I feel it is a lost cause. I have done it and I often think it helps to build their ego only, from now on I hold on to them. Idon't need to bring joy into their lives when they have brought mysery to mine, only my 2 cents worth. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:45:33 AM | Writing is great therapy, sending is a complete disaster.
Remember that 'living well' is the best revenge. Just live your life and fill it with others and the pain will lessen.
If you really want revenge. the opposite of love is not hate, it is indefference. If you stay indifferent you will be better off and it will hurt your ex-more. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:52:38 AM | the opposite of love is not hate, it is indefference.
intriguing perspective. thank you teaching me something ive never thought about
ps...i wrote a letter 11 years ago, but never sent it. i still regret not doing so.. even after all this time. weird huh? | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 9:29:48 AM | I wrote one....a damn long one, and sent it to her... I get a two-sentence response back saying she was sorry and that it was time for me to move on and that she loved me but wasn't "in love" with me.
I don't regret sending it...I left the door open for her but she shut it. But karma got her already for the hurt she caused me. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 1:09:24 PM | You have to be very careful with the writeen word.
It can be used in evidence in stalking cases.
I write many letters but never send them. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 2:19:54 PM | | well, I dont think this is at a stalker level. we're still civil and didnt have a bad break up. I just thought it reflected how i felt about the relationship. It was a positive letter, not a negative i hate you / resent you letter. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 3:21:00 PM |
I chickened out and didnt end up sending it. not ready to deal with whatever response comes
Good on ya....common sense prevailed!
Obviously there is still the occasional conversation between you so in time, She may decide that you are indeed The One!
Had you sent that letter it would have lowered her opinion of you, as in begging for another chance etc:
She knows you had a "good Thing" happening and her head will be full of those memories as yours is. I note you have stated that your still civil and did not have a bad break up!
Show her that you are strong of character and flexible of her needs for some space.
One way or the other things will work out!
Keep that letter and "Maybe" in years to come you can show it to her then!
To other people that have jumped on the bandwagon, read tho OP's other thread titled Recent Breakup.
Helps to have the whole story
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