| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:32:48 PM | The beginning of a new romance is truly a wondrous thing, and a wonderful thing to behold to be sure. Those first magical moments, those first stolen glances, that chance to see ourselves through the eyes of another. All great things indeed. So it crossed my mind why are so many people so worried out that first impression, and making a good one?
When it's all said and done we all want to be loved for who we are, so why do so many go to such great lengths to make a good first impression, rather than simply being who they are without all the games and false pretense? Why not simply be who you are, and let others revel in the person that is you? Why all the needless concern over something so inherently simple?
I now find myself at that early stage of a budding romance, and I am both content and confident in who I am, as well as what I bring to the romantic table, so as is the norm for me, I am simply who I am, and will let the chips fall as they may. Love me or leave me has always worked for me, I am well aware I am not every person's cup of tea, but I am someone's. The charm only lasts for so long after all, and a bloom eventually fades, even from a rose. It so happens that the woman in question finds me fascinating for reasons I can't completely understand, but I am glad she does, and I look forward to where the road ahead may take us.
So what do you think? Are first impressions as important as some make them out to be, or is it instead preferable to see yourself reflected in the eyes of those you desire the same way the mirror reflects who you are every morning as you brush your teeth? Whats your take? You tell me.
Have fun ;)! | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:50:19 PM | First impressions are more important for job interviews.
For relationships it's making a lasting impression that counts. Someone mature enough to look past a bad first impression might find that there is something (at date 3 or 4) that they find attractive in a person that they didn't notice before. I'd hate to miss that just because someone made a bad first impression.
Of course, that would have to be qualified by saying it depends on HOW bad the first impression was and whether or not it is forgivable. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 12:54:40 AM | | Sadly, most people have been conditioned to believe (myself included), that their true selves are not 100% loveable. And we all want to be loved. Some of us go out of our way to make sure the other person knows what we consider to be our flaws and grungies first -- and then are somewhat mystified when the other person sticks around -- I think we do this because we consider a love that is blind to our faults to be worth nothing. Others of us put on our best face and hide the grungies as well as possible, believing that the other person will definitely leave us if they know and wed rather have them stick around for a little time under false pretences than not have them around at all. The sad part is that we are all 100% loveable, we are only afraid that we are not and this fear makes us appear to others to be even less loveable than we actually are. We are our own worst enemies. The person who is at peace with his or her own humanity, is more open to love and to be loved. Some refer to this as "loving yourself" but I think it has got more to do with allowing yourself to be human, and therefore, perfectly flawed. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 1:34:57 AM | yes in answer to your question i understand fully what you are saying i myself am at a certain age and time of life when i think to hell with them love me for what iam or not at all i have been on this site and spoke to many wonderful people and some not so wonderful i for one would gave most people a second chance to redeem themselves and iam comfortable in my own skin [even if it a bit overweight ]to say hey if you dont like what you see and you havent got to know the real me well move along dont waste my time yes is the answer to your quetion a man will always choose a woman who is nt going on about her looks all the time to one who is more at peace with herself so i have found xxgood luck in your new romance by the way xx | |
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nona37
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 5 | |
| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 2:46:11 AM | | I think first impressions are of course important in dating, but what matters even more to me is the second, third and fourth, for most people can make a good first impression, it's when they continue making those good impressions afterwards that means the most to someone such as myself. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 4:20:43 AM | | There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to see the best side of you. When I meet someone for the first time, I do want to make a good first impression. That doesn't mean it's not ME. I am just going to put the BEST of me out there for the meet. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 9:45:33 AM | Its simple: a relationship really, really impacts the ego.
A job cannot, by law, fire you for who you are. Only for what work you don't do. But to be rejected by someone who are you are interested in? No matter how much they tell you, "its not you, its me"....you still suspect they are rejected you not for your work ethic, but for who and what you are as a human being.
So, since we think so much is on the line, we invest more in it. We puff ourselves up, hide our little faults. Cheat the process to avoid the honest outcome, if you will :)
Some people can handle the honest outcome...b/c they think they already know it will be good. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 10:45:21 AM |
why are so many people so worried out that first impression, and making a good one?
Because first impressions are very important in potential dating situations. Women (and men too) are going to make a decision within a few minutes of meeting you, whether you are "datable" or not. If you make a bad first impression you'll never get a date. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:00:19 AM | | Well, quite honestly, I think you couldn't have stated it better when you said that you are confident and content in who you are...I think that is very important in all aspects of life including romance/relationships. I also have always subscribed to the love me or leave me idea. It is very important to be yourself. If you can't be yourself on a date or when first meeting someone, then you might need to take a long hard look in the mirror at who you really are. :) | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:17:22 AM |
So it crossed my mind why are so many people so worried out that first impression, and making a good one?
Well since we are not talking about getting hired for a job and I and even think that it's not done deal either in get hired without a good resume also.
and I am both content and confident in who I am,
Yes, bringing that to the table is who you are and tells the other if this something they would what to know more about or likewise.
It's a good impression because it's you and so be it.
Why not simply be who you are, and let others revel in the person that is you?
Presciely! And the same in the other,to admire,respect,love
and don't try to fit it because it's not broke! | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:28:56 PM | My fiance and I have been together over 6.5 years, and periodically through that time, we've looked at each other, and said "I think the honeymoon's still going".
The honeymoon period, that is. We're not married just yet. Part of why we feel the honeymoon phase is still going, is that we've never been anything but what we are.
He's an easy-going, laid back, intelligent, semi-mr-fix-it, nerdy type of guy, and I'm a high-strung, competitive, intelligent, obsessive-compulsive, loving, geeky type of gal. We've always been honest about our short-comings, and always been honest about our strengths... we work together and complement each other... because we aren't trying to be anything we're not.
*shrug* | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:08:13 PM | Well it's been a few months since I posted this thread, and I am now convinced that first impressions are essentially worthless. While they may serve as an impetus to move forward and explore the possibilities with a person, they are far from long lasting nor even remotely prognosticative of what one should or could expect as time passes.
So in saying that, I would be inclined to suggest "too hell with first impressions". If you feel inclined to get to know someone better well then go for it, regardless of what your gut instinct tells you (assuming your gut instinct doesn't scream "run" in which case you had best beat feet), or first impression is of a person because you simply just never truly know for sure. First impressions are hardly reliable, and only time can tell, and it inevitably will. So in the end, what have you really got to lose, except for a little time spent?
Have fun ;)! | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:27:37 PM | Thorn you know there is a huge a gap between how you think you come across and how others actually see you? Right? And by you I don't mean YOU... I mean people.
But I hear you ...why do people try so hard to impress? *Shuggs*Be who you IS not who you is NOT..!!!
Although I do find that at times I am able to size some-body's self-assurance and likability up in 30 seconds flat. It's a talent. And YOU have been judged a decent man...keep pluggin' big boy you will find a suitable impressionable young lady. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:41:20 PM | I figure if I can't manage to impress someone with the real me, why bother. I know I have managed to do so in the past (whether it actually went further or not), so it's all good and I see no reason to be something other than myself.
I'm not even sure I understand how it'd be possible to be anything other than myself. | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:58:01 AM | think first impressions are important have noticed that over the years for sure . can make things hard for yourself if you start off with a bad first impression but if you start off with a good one things get better .
it can also be hard to change that initial bad first impresion into a good impression if not impossible | |
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| First Impressions: A Look Through the Eyes of Those Who Behold Us
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:09:51 AM |
I figure if I can't manage to impress someone with the real me, why bother.
So true! Why try and pretend to be someone you're not just to create a 'good' impression?
If other people can't accept you for who you are, they're not worth bothering with in the first place. | |
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