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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 1:46:06 PM | The quesiton is quite simple:
Can you miss a person that you have never met?
Sometimes you start communicating with people here... emails, IM... eventuallty you switch to the phone. In the ideal world (at least in my ideal world) you meet soon after that.
But, sometimes you cannot meet... for all kinds of reasons... You have to wait. And, you get this strong sensation of missing this person (who you never met in reality). And you miss them just as much as you miss your family, or friends who live far apart or are not here anymore.
How is that possible? How can you miss someone you never saw or touched?
If you have had such experience I would like to hear about it.
And, if you did not and think that this is just a fantasy that one has in her head, please feel free to explain why do you feel that way....
Edit: spelling mistake | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:03:54 PM |
The quesiton is quote simple:
k, i know ya meant quIte - not gonna bust yer chops fer dat 
~Simply~ the 'answer' to your question is goingto be different, Quite diff.
from person ta person
But: T H E answer IS...'It depends on how ~sensitive~ one Is
To 'things'
Yup, sho does
Some folks Can develop ~Feelings~ (yes, R E A L feelings) for others
(in/through this vortex)
The folks that 'come here' , Scoff at that (at you/at AnyOne) who...
'says' such? They Simply have Not had That Experience
depending on how 'Much' T I M E one has / how 'valuable/precious' they deem that Time...it might be prudent to Not spend a lot of it on the 'corresponding'
BeFore, meeting (in Flesh/Blood) | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:07:37 PM | IMHO.... you are not missing the person you have not yet actually met but what you are missing is having a special someone in your life and you are merely casting this feeling upon your yet to be met person.
Anyway.... that is what me thinks..... | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:08:19 PM | | I know of a past relationship I shared with a very special lady. We never got the chance to meet face to face, but we talked on the phone daily. I looked foward to hearing from her, it was the highlight of my day. Strangely enough, we were so intouch with eachother , we both knew when something was wrong with the other. To answer your question, it is very possible. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:09:31 PM | | it's because you connected with this person on an emotional level and are longing to see if it will be the same once you meet. You want the connection to be real in all senses | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:20:29 PM | SUCKAFISH, thanks for heads up on spelling mistake... was able to fix it:)
General comment.
I know that in part you are missing a special person, an idea of having someone special in your life. And, in part what you are missing is a fantasy (which might or might not live up to the expectations).
And, I always prefer to meet sooner rather than later.
But, on occasions you have to wait for that first meeting... Unless you can teleport. Or, the meeting does not happen for reasons that are out of control (yours or his/hers).
The missing sensation, in my experience, can then be just as strong as it is when it comes to people that you have met. Or even stronger, because you are also anxious if the fantasy will live up to reality (your fantasy of the other person, and their fantasy of you).
So, you are dealing with absence and anxiety at the same time.
That teleporting thingy is really, really needed... | |
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real12
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 10 | |
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:35:33 PM | How can you miss someone you never saw or touched
Fact is you did 'see' them, you did indeed 'touch' them & they in turn 'touched' you. Obviously not in the physical sense, but for some of us, why hell, our hearts & the feelings harbored within are so damn large, so true, so ethereal, that like a vapor just through the written word or the mere sound of voice these vast distances can easily be breached.
I have been here going on 2 years & there are both men & women alike whos heart, humor & wit I miss tremendously. I find it easy really......we are human.
Hell, I can read the words of Abe Lincoln from days of old & 'feel' the heart that wrote them & sure as sh*t I never knew the ol' b*stard but I somehow miss him all the same.
Edit Post: Excellent post by the way. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:41:05 PM | Yes, you can miss someone whom you have never met.
Sometimes, there is such a meeting of minds, hearts, and souls that two people become intricately connected. Perhaps that person is the elusive soulmate. For some reason, though, life and distance intervene and you cannot meet.
I know because I conversed with someone from POF, and for several reasons, we did not meet in person. The intensity has waned, of course, but I still miss him, think of him often, and wonder how he is doing. Circumstances will not ever bring us together, but I will always think of him.
The memory does not keep me from moving forward, though, in eagerness and in pleasant anticipation to meet my next partner. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:41:49 PM | Yes Cassandra, you can miss someone you never met...You don't have to have some romantic notion either...
I have made long distant friends on the net, and have talked to them for over 6 yrs... (Actually going on 7) When I don't hear from this friend I miss him... I miss knowing that he is ok, and how his life is going... I miss being able to share crazy stuff in my life, sharing how our kids are doing.
TO often people get the idea that just because you haven't met a person then there isn't a real relationship... Truth is, it is just different, because of the age of communication we have.
Have you considered learning to astral travel????
And yes you can fall in love long distance... Back in the good ol days of WWII, men and women would write strangers and communicate back and forth, and meet and get married after communicating through letters for a couple years... | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:48:28 PM | I think that you can have all the same feelings of missing someone whether or not you have actually been with them. The brain is a funny thing, it apparently lights up in the exact same way for an event as for the memory (or idea) of the same event. There is a special and rather beautiful word in Welsh: "hiraeth" meaning (approximately) the yearning or longing for home. This missing is a yearning, longing to be with someone, to see them, of course you can long and yearn to see someone you have never met, someone you have a sense of, someone whose absence is felt even thought you have never known their presence.
Feelings often are not logical. I used to feel homesick, missing home, even when I was at home, perhaps because I never quite belonged and home never felt quite like home, but I still had an innate sense of hat it would feel like to be at home and I longed for that.
Feelings are not the result of logical arguments, they just are, and your feeling is always real, and is always valid: it is what it is. A feeling cannot be a delusion. The thoughts that go with it, however, can be. You have to admit to yourself that you do not know for sure that seeing this person would satisfy your sense of longing -- it may not -- just as being at home did not satisfy my longing for home. Feel and respect your feelings but do not pretend to yourself that your feelings give you a certainty about the way things are or will be in real life: they don't. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:52:18 PM | | This thread is by far the most obvious signal I have had, somehow, ...I have been sulking most of the day because of something very similar. I do miss someone that I have yet to meet. We have been going back and forth exchanging emails and talking on the phone for hours on end. He is currently is the service and will be back in a month. I am really looking forward to finally meeting. Yet I do know that it could be dissapointing. Heck he may not like me, one never knows. I believe it's the idea of being in love again that we miss. Being thought of by someone else, ...always knowing that they are there. I have also met men that I wish I never met. Yet, I am constantly drawn back to this man that I have never met. Talking and emailing has afforded us to really find out many things before our meeting. Right now, I have been waiting for the phone to ring as he will call me soon from overseas. I have never met this man, yet he treats me as if I'm living in a fairy tale. I'm going to go with it. So, of course!! You most definitely can miss a person that you have never met. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:57:38 PM | Absolutely! I don't know if it can be as intense as missing someone you've known 'in person' but I am not doubtful that it could happen, just hasn't happened to me yet.
I have been corresponding via (e-mail only) with a really nice, funny man I 'met' here at POF, and he has been working a lot lately, so I no longer get the messages that came almost daily for a while. I miss him a lot! It is nice when he does find time to write, just brightens my day to know he thought of me. He lives a couple states away, so I'm not sure if we'll ever meet or not, but I sincerely hope to keep in contact for a long time.
Another man I actually met from here, similar story, has been working a lot for the past few days and I miss seeing him, messaging, etc. I find that I am missing him only a bit more than the guy I just write to. I think it just has to do with there being more possibilities with this one, as he actually lives close by.
As someone else mentioned, way back before modern communication, people often corresponded by snail mail, fell in love, planned their weddings, and lived 'happily ever after' so I think it could still happen.
Call me:
Hopelessly Romantic AlternateRed
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2gd4u?
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Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:59:29 PM | I did. Now that I've met him.. I don't anymore..and not because of the negative thought you may be having, but because of the real good one so few of us do..
Good Luck and keep hoping, wishing, dreaming, missing.. he'll come along sweets..one day. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:00:06 PM | | maybe your missing the communication or whatever it was they provided in your life, but I wouldnt say them... just whatever they provided. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:01:57 PM |
Can you miss a person that you have never met?
Yes.
It may or may not be as intense as the emotion one has
for someone they've spent a lifetime with. But, the emotion
for many can feel just as real.
How is that possible? How can you miss someone you never saw or
touched?
Huh?
Never saw? Email exchanges, instant messages, phone calls, etc...
can be much like a "visit", as you're spending time with the person(s).
It's just a different way of meeting.
Never touched? Sure, not in the physical sense.
But words from even an online friend,
can touch the heart and soul just as deeply as
as any friend, poem, or work of literature. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:17:51 PM | | yes i beleive that you can.BUT it could be worse and you could have met him and after a while not get along. ahhh a double edged sword. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:26:30 PM | OP, I think anyone, who has been meeting others online, sooner or later, has had one of those "virtual romance" things that ended, before you ever met. It leaves one with something unresolved, in addition to the normal sense of loss that comes, when a relationship ends.
What happens even more often, is that real feelings can develop online, and if allowed to continue for a long time, won't "translate" in real life, when you meet. IME 2 out of 3 times, the chemistry just isn't there, and when it's not, there is that sense of "loss" of someone, who was in a very special place, someone viewed as the real love in your life.
One of the things I discovered, after having gone through those experiences, is an absolute rule for myself, that if we have been in contact with intensity, and real feelings are developing, that we "have to" have met, or have certain plans to meet in the very near future, or to simply accept that it was just a real seeming fantasy. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:38:06 PM | Yes ,you can miss someone you've never met.
Online we meet many people, we may randomly connect to someone on a deeper spiritual level, after all our being is not enclosed in the physical body.
As mere mortals we verify reality with what we can see and touch.
We may be drawn to someone for some mysterious reason,if it's reciprocated, it can become a strong emotional bond .
And if the connection is broken , there will be an empty feeling , we will miss them. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:40:12 PM | Great question OP....
Can you miss a person that you have never met?
Yes, you can. There is a fellow pof'er right now going thru a bad time I miss him. I pray for him. He was never a love interest so Yes, you can.
How is that possible? How can you miss someone you never saw or touched?
I think sometimes we are given a rare opporunity to glimpse inside of a person. It is up to us. whether enter the door or not. If two people are lucky enought to connect.. Mentally and spiritually it is a rare gift. That should never be abused.. I do believe that when you finally get that time to meet, It is even stronger than before. Than meeting someone off the street cold and trying to connect..
I also believe sometimes, When we start the dance of emails, IM's, And then Phone, We go thru a honeymoon period, But eventually that drops off and reality sets in for the two people.. IF they can still maintain the contact thru thick and thin in the virtual world we are playing in. If They can be real, to themselves and to the other person, it is so much easier to take the relationship that has been building to the next demension in Reality.
I have someone right now I talk to each day. on IM and phone. They mean the world to me. I have only had a glimpse into them. Not enough to say a physical relationship was started.. When I am able to go home. I want to see about it tho. I want to make sure that the dance that has started is going to be as good in person as on here.
Just my .02 cents
Would I have said that it was possible before, Yes, but I wouldn't have believed it with my whole heart till now. I would have said that it could happen but rare.. Let's get the physical started..
Now sometimes, I am learning that in life, we are dealt a deck of cards it is up to us how we play them.. That means if we are unguarded with ourselves and allow another person into our inner space.. Well.. you have invited them in.. | |
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| Can you miss someone you have never met?
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:59:40 PM | Rule Number 2. TABULA RASA.
Men! You should pay me for this information.
I am not going to say that what you are doing is wrong. Or that it will lead to disaster. But this is what it always happens. And that is that until your first meet, LIVE anything that happens before is out the window. TABULA RASA. The problem is that, before the first meet, you begin to fall in love with an illusion you have formed in your head of that person and that person's words. Now, remember that when a person writes or expresses him/her self, they are about 60 percent themselves, and 40 percent a projection of what ought to be them. So you are meeting the assumed persona that that person has. They are not lying to you. You are not lying to them. But since here, you can be, whoever you want to be, you inject your real self with that persona. When you meet in person that assume persona has to float in it's own coat of reality, face the eye contact, survive the instant respond or question. So it cracks. Besides, women and men, can read a person in less than one minute. So assumed personas no longer float. What makes it worse is this. All the stories that this person said, let's say they are all true. But now on the meet, guess what, you've already heard them. They are Old news to you!!! Told by some incredible person that lives in your head. Not this person in front of you.
So, I wish you luck. I wish that you pass from one to the other, instead of being the usual casualty of war that you see so much in these forums. | |
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