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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Would you invite a "friend" to Christmas dinner with your family?      Home login  
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 Myapet
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1
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Would you invite a "friend" to Christmas dinner with your family?Page 1 of 1    
I had been dating someone for about 2 years when he admitted that he didn't love me and suggested that it might be better if I started seeing other people (hence my profile here). We have remained good friends and still share the occassional meal and/or movie. While we were dating I was never introduced to his family although he spent some time with mine - including a Christmas and meeting my parents. We were talking on the phone the other day and, out of the blue, he invites me to have Christmas dinner with his family. My family traditionally celebrates on Christmas Eve and I usually spend Christmas Day with my sister (who is also single) and he knows this. It's not as if I would be alone over the holidays. I have always thought of Christmas as a particularly family oriented holiday and not a time when you invite someone who was just a friend to share dinner. When I asked him about this he says "it's just a meal". *sigh* Do guys really think of Christmas dinner as just a meal? Would you invite a female friend over for Christmas dinner with your family?
 jpgg
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 2
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Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:17:46 AM
Some people do, I've been invited several times to other people's X-mas family parties.

But I would never invite anyone to my familie's party, most of the time I don't even want to be there.

To some it is just a meal.
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 3
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:24:39 AM
Xmas is the "one" time of year when I want to be with family only. I have never invited a friend to share that time, because most of my friends are doing the same thing. There is only one person I would make an exception for, and that's my best friend. He, and his family are like our family, and vice-versa. But they live in another province.
 someplace***
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 4
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:58:58 AM
he admitted that he didn't love me and suggested that it might be better if I started seeing other people
He's already informed you, that he's not interested in you, as anything more than a friend. But you seem to be hoping to find signs that you still are more than a friend.



he says "it's just a meal".
If he intended it to mean anything more than "just a meal", he likely would have told you that, when you asked.
 September68
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 5
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:27:21 AM
I would typically agree with the reply that 'someplace' made, but would also be curious as to the intent behind the invitation given that in the two years you were together, an invitation was never extended to meet his family... I would be wondering 'why now?'. Sorry if that confuses things more... bad habit of mine .
 iris43
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 6
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:14:18 AM
It sounds like to me that he feels the pressure has been removed from your relationship now that he has told you that he only wants to be friends. Him inviting you to dinner means just that, he is inviting a friend to dinner. I personally believe the holidays is all about friends and family, no one should be alone at this time the more the merrier

I know from personal experience that if I was dating someone and felt that they were more into me than I was into them, I too would have the friendship talk. I would feel more comfortable hanging out, knowing that there were no expectations....it takes the pressure off to get know each other as friends and if something transpires from that then so be it.

Merry Christmas
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 7
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:21:54 AM
Well, I am not a guy...but I cannot see how it cannot be reversed and turned into a question for all to answer anyway!

I have a tendency of trying to include at least one person who has no family and would otherwise be alone for the holidays...and while you say that this does not apply to you, does this guy know such? Also, I would more than welcome my friends over for the holdays...but most have such full plates already, it just does not happen. So my general consensus would be that, no...it is not just a family time! If I were dating one person exclusively, I would most definitely invite the fellow over for the holidays...at least to stop by and wish them a happy holiday and exchange gifts if applicable.

I agree with the other poster(s) who are more curious as to WHY he is only now inviting you, and not the previous years when you were actually having a relationship? Some things that pass through my mind is that he, 1) gets pressure from his family for being single...and you are a "safe date" to take those pressures off? or 2) perhaps he IS rethinking your relationship...certainly would not be a 1st...and he would like to see how you interact with his family? or even 3) he is sincere in the fact that you are a friend and he simply would enjoy your company as such, around the holidays?
 Tramp
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 8
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:43:33 AM
I am spending Christmas day with a lady friend and her family. Same situation as yours, I feel comfortable with it would you?
Two years never met his family? You did not need to wait for him to tell he wants to be Just friends.
If you do go, enjoy.
Could bring your sister as well, I am sure they would not mind.
Happy Holidays.
 ~vhdc~
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 9
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Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:03:03 AM
Do guys really think of Christmas dinner as just a meal?
Yes, it's just a meal shared with friends and family. I invite everyone I know ...some show, others already have plans. He has been honest with you so why try to read something into it?
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 10
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:09:26 AM
I think I'd spare a man I actually liked the pain and suffering of 200 questions and indepth analysis, foul language that they might not understand and over indulgence of alcoholic beverages with some of my old school Italian family. Eeee gads. They'd dump me in a heartbeat. And rightfully so.

I even try and ditch myself when I hang out with them.
 Jemue
Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 11
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:13:19 AM

Do guys really think of Christmas dinner as just a meal?


Yes that's right, we're all exactly the same ......

And yes it is just a meal, what every religious, social or person context a person puts on it is up to them.
 Luv Karla
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 12
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:32:48 PM
This guy has given you a clear indication of how he feels about you.

If he has told you he wants to date other people,and that he does not love you,then why do you still want to be around him?

To me,Christmas is a special occasion to be shared with loved ones.

If your "friend" just looks at it as another meal,then why bother inviting him?

Honestly,this guy sounds like a jerk.lol
 McLovin359
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 13
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 4:37:25 PM

no one should be alone at this time the more the merrier


thanks for the reminder

nil points for tact on a singles site
 strangerstill
Joined: 12/20/2004
Msg: 14
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Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 4:40:53 PM
Sure why not. I have family but I often spend holidays with friends just for a change of pace.
 belgarion
Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 15
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:49:24 PM

but would also be curious as to the intent behind the invitation given that in the two years you were together, an invitation was never extended to meet his family... I would be wondering 'why now?'.

I was thinking the exact same thing! I would personally tell him to take his drumstick and shove it.
If you weren't good enough to meet his family when you were dating and sleeping together, why the hell now?
Seems he treats his freinds with more respect then he did you. Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!
 suzicutzi
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 16
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:54:09 PM
If I had someone cute and snuggly that I had been seeing for a few months, if he wanted to come to xmas dinner he would be welcome. It's not just a meal to me....means more!

 floating down the river
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 17
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:58:15 PM
I have 14 brothers and sisters and tons of neices and nephews. We usually have around 40 or so over at mom and dads and we have a lot of other outside people stop by. I had some Iranian friends over for Christmas who had nowhere to go and they had a great time. We have a ping pong table, pool table and every board game ever invented. I don't think I would ever take a date over, unless she did not have a place to go. Its just to frickin loud.
 Zeanah59
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 18
Would you invite a friend to Christmas dinner with your family?
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:58:23 PM
I would not have a problem taking a date or a friend to my familiy holiday dinner. My family would just welcome them and not think a thing about it. I especially would invite a friend who didn't have a place to go.

However...I find it rather curious that this man did not expose you to his family while dating. I think most are missing your point. Why would he NOT invite you while dating and being intimate with him for 2 years, but now you are "just friends", he asks you? And knowing you have a family you spend time with? I just find that wierd.

To say, the pressure is off of him is rather callous on his part. I find that no excuse to now being open to inviting you to meet family.
In all honesty...I had a similar situation. I dated a man for 2 years and he never introduced me to his family or not one friend. It ended when I ask "Why?" and he saw it no big deal and he "didn't want to encourage me into thinking there was a future", although he met ALL of my family. So...in finally admitting he was not for me...I ended it.

If I was you...I'd spend time with my family who loved and respected me. He is not worth missing time with family and making those memories. Merry Christmas!
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