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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > “Viewed me” link on POF      Home login  
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 artistic-serenity*
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 1
“Viewed me” link on POFPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I had a conversation with a girlfriend who is also on POF who told me that often guys will use the “viewed me” link hoping that if the woman is interested she will respond. Is this true or is the man maybe just not interested so did not say hi?

I personally don’t tend to use this option...but she got me thinking…

I know many guys are afraid of rejection so could she be right? Do guys hope that if they “viewed you” and the woman is interested THEN she should message him??? Seems strange to me… Why do guys not just say hi????

 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 2
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:33:41 AM
Just because someone has viewed my profile, it doesn't mean he is interested in contacting me, or vice versa. If they have selected me as a favourite without ever talking to me first, I have to wonder why?

Pink
 chasingplastic
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 3
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:36:35 AM
I view alot of profiles, doesn't mean I want to meet any of them. They may have said something clever in a forum, and I wanted to learn more about them.

In fact, I'm probably gonna read yours right now since you posted this thread.
 juanchito26
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 4
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:38:41 AM
I have about 25 people on my "viewed me" section. I have only messaged one of them, and she replied quickly.
But since they never replied to previous messages, I kind of lost the will to keep messaging people. Besides, I am here more for the forums than anything else.
 go97
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 5
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:41:43 AM
This option is a carrot to get the bunny hopping...turn it OFF..
 artistic-serenity*
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 6
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:41:53 AM
Hummmm interesting…and good point … was what I was thinking initially but got to thinking that maybe she is right (that some guys are to chicken to message first and use the “viewed me” link to be noticed) …

I have personally thought that if a guy wants to meet me then he would approach and say hi… but maybe I am wrong… lol ((and yes, I turned OFF my "viewed me" feature because I tend to read the profile of people I respond to in a profile))

….(but for my GF’s example) what about the men who are obviously single and looking -- using the “viewed me” feature…

If the man is too chicken to approach…. Is he also going to possibly be passive in communication -- if there was a connection eventually???

[[[[[[Hummmm interesting… my way of saying in a nice way if he cant approach is he a whimp… the hunter prevails…. lol ]]]


 lilangel33
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 7
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:44:03 AM
I agree,,, chasingplastic
Often something someone says in the forums intrigues me or if they have viewed me I often check them out. it doesn't mean I am interested in them.
If I view them back I often get an e-mail.
It's hard to know what others are thinking....
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 8
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:49:40 AM
i look at people's profiles for a myriad of reasons - usually just to see who it was who posted an idea on a forum, sometimes if they've looked at my profile and their pic catches my eye and i wonder who they are/why they might have looked at mine ... sometimes i end up looking at a profile several times, because i've forgotten i'd looked before.. or i'm interested to find out something else about them.. (usually pertaining to something they've posted on the forum again...)

..so, in the same way that my looking at profiles doesn't mean much, i don't take it as meaning much if mine is looked at.. i have a tendency to read too much into things, so recognizing this about myself, i wait til someone's overtly interested (by writing to me, telling me he is, lol) before i think he may be..
 chasingplastic
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 9
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:50:01 AM
Now that lilangel agreed with me, I have to look at her profile.

As far as a guy contacting every view, that's just silly. That would mean that they aren't reading profiles at all and just contacting everyone they think is attractive. I might view a profile, so I pop up on your view window, but I read the profile and find out we have nothing in common. So why would I contact you?
 dingolover
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:50:04 AM
I check my "viewed me" link. I have messaged women who have viewed me. Gotten good response. Many women use it in hope that you will email them. Several have told me so. Had a few dates because im not afraid to message them. But lots of women are afraid to make first contact.
 Davey_Baby
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 11
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:55:37 AM

I know many guys are afraid of rejection so could she be right?


I think you are very wrong by saying this! The "viewed me" function is useless.

Who cares who looks anyway, I wouldn't care who looks at me while they walk past unless they interest me and the same goes here. I am sure a lot of people think that way.
When desperation kicks in I am sure it is important to feed ones ego with the who viewed me button. Other than that, I can see no good use for it.

D
 Da_Leafs
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 12
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:03:01 AM
I'll allow people to see that I viewed them just to show interest. I normally have it turned off.
My thought is that if they view my profile, and I can tell if they did, I will let that determine if there is any interest on their part as they can just add me as a favorite without contacting me and I will contact them. I could just add them as a favorite but if they are already on over 30 favourites then you would just get lost in the shuffle.


If the man is too chicken to approach…. Is he also going to possibly be passive in communication -- if there was a connection eventually???

[[[[[[Hummmm interesting… my way of saying in a nice way if he cant approach is he a whimp… the hunter prevails…. lol ]]]


Nope, not a chicken or a wimp. Just got tired of wasting time writing and sending emails that aren't replied too. I've accepted that and thus have gone this route. Of course we can assume you read and reply to all your emails. Because that's what everyone says when complaining about people viewing them and not saying Hi!
 lilangel33
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 13
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:10:29 AM
Now ..chasingplastic .. you made me check you out. The first thing I look at is the age thing, I do take time to read the profile even though most of them are too young.
If there is something in a profile I like I often write and tell them regardless of age and sex.
We all need an ego boost sometimes.
 katsst
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:11:24 AM
I think that's the whole idea of the viewed me link. If someone viewed you in whom you may have an interest, it doesn't hurt to write them.

What's the worst that can happen? They don't respond?

Personally I have the option turned off since I don't want to give the wrong people the wrong impression. But if someone interesting views my profile, I'd
definitely write them. Got nothing to lose.
 dashriprock223
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 15
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:13:28 AM
(msg 13)

I've actually been sort of curious about this function as well.....

It's pretty common knowledge that women do receive FAR more initial emails than men do in here....And it seems they have little time to answer them all. So I have wondered why a woman would keep her 'allow a person to see I viewed them' option up, and open themselves up to get even more email from a person who saw that they viewed them?? Particularly if they might only be 'catalogue browsing' to begin with.....So are women doing this same technique as Da Leaf mentioned??? Are women turning the function on and off at will to allow certain ones to see they viewed them??

ladies??
 dethroned
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 16
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:13:47 AM
Excellent post da leafs.

It would be extremely naive and somewhat ignorant to assume that just because a guy viewed you and was presumably too shy to send a message that he would be passive in communnication...

I view a plethura of profiles daily, and I leave the 'I have viewed you' option available... because I've got nothing to hide nor lose.

I rarely contact people on this site, but that is because in all honesty in my age bracket there are few users who are interesting enought to warrant a message.

While this may be a case for some men and women alike, I would honestly hope that if i a woman was interested in mine she'd shoot me a pm, and those that have I have always responded to (assuming the question was valid and more than 'hi wats up' etc.).

I would hesitate to however assume everyone that viewed me as attracted to me and contact them based solely on that assumption.

Reading someone's profile is the only way to get a bearing. And sometimes, really, that's all anyone is doing.
 cocytus
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 17
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:21:02 AM

I had a conversation with a girlfriend who is also on POF who told me that often guys will use the “viewed me” link hoping that if the woman is interested she will respond. Is this true or is the man maybe just not interested so did not say hi?

I personally don’t tend to use this option...but she got me thinking…

I know many guys are afraid of rejection so could she be right? Do guys hope that if they “viewed you” and the woman is interested THEN she should message him??? Seems strange to me… Why do guys not just say hi????


It depends...
if I view somebody and I don't leave a message...usually something in there profile...made me lose interest..or made me think that they wouldn't be interested....
I've said "Hi" as well..only to have women not respond...
Usually when I look at a profile...there's something about the pic that made me do so...
If they respond...cool..
If not...that's cool too...
 Paul is Me
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:23:28 AM
Rejection got old fast on this site. I said hello, and got no response, more times than I can count. Now I tend to use the favorites list as a way of expressing interest. Adding her, or having her add me is a good way to open the door a crack, but it too is a flawed approach as many women seem to feel that I should write-- rather than just faving them!

Oh well, when the tumblers all fall into place this will no longer be an issue. Right?

 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 19
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:42:55 AM
(msg16)

nope, i've left the "viewed" me function on all the time, because i never really thought about it much or attached any importance to it.. but if it's giving a false sense of interest to those i look at, then perhaps it'd be best turned off, it doesn't matter to me either way

* there, turned it off.. now i can skulk and lurk in peace.. mwahahahha :))
 Notallthere...yet
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 20
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:51:56 AM
Either way, if they're interested, they'll either reply, or wait a while till they do. If not, plenty of fish in this sea.

Yes, I know that was lame.
 rockandrollthunder
Joined: 7/20/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:22:33 AM
I have found in the past, when a profile's restrictions will not let you message them, but there is a definite commonality between your profiles, (like my Maltese, or my Drag racing), that the viewed me, and/or favorites notification might draw a response. Or maybe they might be curious enough to add you to their favorites list, as that will lift the mailing restrictions... But my bobber has gone under water, so it is a mute issue....


 UniqueManinSoCal
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 22
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:38:37 PM
Things like Viewed me and favorites are tools to help you during your experience on this site. There may have been the original intent of the tool when they designed it but as users of any technology will do, they will use the tool to help them do what they want. Each person will use these tools as they see fit.

I can only speak for me in that I see the viewed me tool as a way to see who has seen me that I may have missed in other search tools. I also use favorites almost like a bookmark tool in your web browser. If I email them now or later it is not linked at all to my favorites selection.

As for your question the viewed me being less of a risk emailing them than other means doesn't make sense. And in my view no one has an obligation to contact someone just because they viewed them. Hell if that were the case my fingers would be bloody from typing so much.
 supragurl
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 23
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:48:20 PM
I don't know if this is true, but i often check out the viewed me section and visit the profiles of the men i find attractive.....

usually soon after that i get a message from them hahahaha.....unless they're not from where i live.....and then chances are they were checking me out in the forums :)
 artistic-serenity*
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 24
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:07:19 PM
dashriprock223


<div class="quote"> So are women doing this same technique as Da Leaf mentioned??? Are women turning the function on and off at will to allow certain ones to see they viewed them??

Good question… (and possibly good idea)… but I have always thought the direct approach is best (meaning if I am interested then message and say hi...) ... but apparently some think differently :-)

I guess is why I posted this because I was curious as to how people use this feature (and its true purpose)… Is interesting reading everyone’s viewpoint on this topic :-)
 OctoberAngel
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 25
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:25:52 PM
I often view the profiles of guys I find attractive while browsing to find out if there is any compatibility. If I think there is I message them, cause the worst that can happen is they don't respond and who cares it's a stranger. (and there are "plenty of fish"). If there are aspects of their profile that I don't appreciate that I won't message them. At first I assumed that most guys are the same.

But you bring up a good point.

Unfortunately, POF does not make allowances for shyness and I don't think you can interpret anyone's intentions from a "viewed me" picture. So ultimately, You must decide regardless of what you think may be going on in his head, is this someone you want to message or not. If so go for it, if not don't.
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