| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:30:57 PM | I met a wonderful person who told me right away that she was HIV positive but that she is a super supressor of the virus. I have no reason to doubt her.
Have any of you dated someone you knew whas HIV positive? What was it like?
I haven't been anything but a freind at this point but it has raised some really interesting questions and I wonder if anybody has any experience with this. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:42:03 PM | | Sorry... I couldn't do it... regardless of precautions or anything else. I wouldn't be able to become involved with someone that tested positive for any STD... | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:42:49 PM | I would not date anyone HIV positive. Too dangerous. I don't want want to die over sex plus I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone who has a death sentence hanging over their head. I would be their friend though.
"super suppressor"? is that an actual medical term or just some slang she uses to make it sound like she's somehow more in remission than is typical? | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:51:51 PM | No, I don't think I would get involved with anyone who had that. It kind of indicates their life style in the past, but not always. It would be taking too big a risk, regardless. 
Pink | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:58:33 PM | Hi,
I have a friend who is dating someone with AIDs. As a friend, alot of us were very worried and scared for her and her health safety. But they have been dating for years and she is still clean. If you REALLY care and want to go forward with the relationship you should research the risks yourself. Best luck either way. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:01:52 PM | | The actual term is Long Term Non Progressor. It's fairly uncommon. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:06:09 PM | Honestly I would have to say no I would not date them. It's way too much of a risk. I could be their friend only. No romantic relationship.
My prayers to your friend. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:06:28 PM | | AND we all have death sentences hanging over our heads, unless you are in immortal.... | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:09:28 PM | i wouldn't knowingly date anyone with a potentially fatal std, for my childrens' sake if nothing else..
however, hypothetically, if i were thinking about doing so, i'd make sure that i had researched everything possible i could find on the subject, from a variety of sources, so i could make an informed decision as to the potential dangers/safety precautions/percentages of risk etc...
but no, for me, too risky | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:21:50 PM | No I haven't. Never have personally known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Would I? No.
I would advise seeing your doctor for complete information, risks, etc before having sex with them. Never take another person's word when your own life is at risk. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:13:18 PM | | personally i have never dated anyone who tested positive...wow, what a dilemna especially if you are very fond of her..myself i couldn't and wouldn't take the chance,but there is nothing wrong with developing a close friendship. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 8:22:18 PM |
I wouldn't be able to become involved with someone that tested positive for any STD...
I think it's important to point out that HIV/AIDS is not always an STD. It can be contracted in other ways, as well. Some of them completely accidental and innocent. By receiving contaminated blood products, for instance.
I don't know if Icould or not, I'd have to be in the situation with whatever feelings I had for that person, get all the info I could and make a balanced decision. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/18/2007 10:35:38 PM | Yeah str8, I just left that one alone......
There are no great feelings going on in this situation. I've only just met her but she is pretty amazing. It's a really heavy thing though and a total head job even considering such a relationship. It has really put a new perspective on people who are HIV positive and what their lives are like. As you've seen here there is the stereotyping, the obvious fear, ignorance (raises hand), and almost dehumanization.
The things that come up for me are that if we did decide to be anything more than friends I could NEVER be truly one with her which is a really big deal because I don't use sex just to get off but instead as a spiritual tool and I'm not sure if it's possible to use that energy without being fully connected. There has been the thought of hooking up with someone just to have them die on you but the fact is you never really know about that one anyway and she could outlive me. There is the idea that to really get involved in a relationship with HIV as an aspect to it you know you'd have to be pretty into it which could translate into something rare and special. Sex would probably not be the main glue which holds the relationship together which could have its benefits as you would have to really develop other aspects of the relationship which would lead to real and lasting intimacy.
The studying I’ve been doing has been really interesting. There are many issues as to even what AIDS is never mind HIV. There are those who don’t think HIV has anything to do with AIDS.
It has really been a brain jogger…. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 3:39:41 AM | I could date them ,but never under any circumstances could there ever be any sexual contact . Sorry but even when being extremely cautious you can still get infected .
AND we all have death sentences hanging over our heads, unless you are in immortal....
Well of course ,but we don't all have aids hanging over our heads .I would rather not engage in risky behavior that could result in my being infected with HIV. That's a terrible death that can be avoided. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 3:44:52 AM |
I think it's important to point out that HIV/AIDS is not always an STD. It can be contracted in other ways, as well. Some of them completely accidental and innocent. By receiving contaminated blood products, for instance. You are correct... but in this scenario, we are discussing dating someone that has a disease which is sexually transmissable... hence my use of that term... | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:39:27 AM | | The FACT is that you have more of a chance getting killed commuting to your job than getting infected or being killed by HIV. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:47:48 AM | | I wouldn't date someone with HIV, but the comments about testing positive being a good indication of their life-style are false. Many people contract HIV from sources that have nothing to do with sex or life-style. I would never date anyone lacking compassion or that automatically judges or criticizes another person without all of the facts, either! | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 8:40:27 AM | It is a shame so many people dismiss such a person so quickly. They do not even know her and have made all sorts of judgements about her character and the risks of being around her.
It seems to me since she has HIV but not AIDS that the risk to you though potentially life threatening is quite minimal; and through some education and precausions when followed faithfully would lower that small risk to almost nothing.
She might have even got the virus from the one time she got drunk and someone took advantage of her or she just decided to go for it or her boyfriend lied to her. Most of us probably did worse than that.
You say that she is a wonderful person. You want to be her friend. Be her friend. If you decide you like her and want to date, court ,live together or marry her don't let these nay sayers stop you. She is a person too and deserves to be loved as much as the rest of us. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 8:53:17 AM |
The FACT is that you have more of a chance getting killed commuting to your job than getting infected or being killed by HIV.
I`ll take my chances with my commute. Seat belts, airbags...I`m good to go........ | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:02:01 AM | I can only advise you that you learn everything you can about HIV and AIDS.
I wouldn't date someone with HIV or AIDS. I would probably date people with certain other STDs - the harmless ones, the ones where they were currently being cured, and the ones where the change of catching anything was extremely small.. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:16:36 AM | I don't make judgements about a persons character at all who has HIV . I am fully aware that not only dirty , bad people get it. People from every walk of life get infected . However i don't care if the risk is almost nothing . It's still a risk.
Personally i would rather die commuting then in a long drawn out horrifying death. The last days for aids patients are terrible. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 9:16:42 AM | It's true that they've made phenomenal progress (in the West) with treatment for this, but, it still has to be borne in mind , IMO, that this is still a terminal incurable illness. Some people have begun to take it too lightly these days. Yes it's not the 10 (or so) year "death sentence" it was in the 80's. Yes there are such people who are LTNP (Long Term Non Progressors), even if rare.
LTNP's, with the "cocktail" treatment, etc, may or may not ever get sick (ie, actually get AIDS; which is determined by whether they have had one or more of the "opportunistic infections" which attack & sometimes kill HIV patients, and / or their Tcell count has dropped below 200). Some "x" factors are : individual body chemistry / pre-infection health (everybody's different, literally, & each body handles the virus somewhat differently); amount of exposure(s); viral load; and even what kind of HIV it is (generally there's only one strain in the West but people can get more -- or less -- 'nasty' types of it, just like w/other viruses).
Regardless, someone in his or her early 30's , for example, who is diagnosed with HIV , still has to realize that they have possibly just had about 20 yrs shaved off of of their avg life expectancy (in the West). Sure, there's the argument that commuting is just as dangerous & unpredictable; but then for that matter no one would even get out of bed in the mornings because it's "just as risky as having HIV". But come on...
Living with that virus is very very difficult (the meds are prohibitively expensive & oftentimes have some pretty bad side effects that go along with them, & insurance companies will balk at taking you for coverage -- here in the States at least). Caring for someone who (eventually) gets sick from it (which nearly all HIV positive people do) is also monumentally trying. But if you love the person you'll be ready and willing to do it.
I've seen people dying from it, when I was doing some volunteer work bringing meals and groceries to men in Chicago who had full-blown AIDS. The biggest eye-opener for me was when I see a man who's a mere 9 or 10 yrs older than myself, and he looks as though he's a deathly ill 85-yr old. A guy who , in pics from a few yrs back, was tall and athletic and strong, and now is covered in purple marks and weighs about 115 lbs. That's when you learn not only to 'respect' , but also to remember to still have a 'healthy fear' of this lethal STD. | |
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| Have you, would you???
Posted: 12/19/2007 10:15:24 AM | There are so many things that have horrible stigmas to them. In a few years, the HIV/AIDS epidemic may be none existent. With drugs that suppress the virus, MANY people live long, relatively healthy lives. And isn't HIV/AIDS the same kind of virus as Lupus (not totally sure but they're both immune deficiency diseases) ?
Ever think about the other communicable health issues out there that can be contract just by physical contact alone? HPV, with some strains that lead to cancer??? What about Bacterial Meningitis? I mean there's so much to worry about these days.
If you meet a truly wonderful person who has Herpes or HIV/AIDS, why would you pass a chance to get to know them just because they're afflicted with a (currently) incurable disease. Take precautions, as with anything.
Remember when interracial dating was illegal? LOL To me it's all the same...people are TERRIFIED of the unknown. Educate yourselves. Love freely.
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