| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:58:13 PM | | For better or worse, I am living with Mom. Our family has been kind of screwed up by Dad on psychological and genetic bases. We deal with it as best we can. My youngest sister has been successful financially, and spends Christmas in Hawaii. And it is wonderful to see that her family seems to be traversing a different path. The rest of us were supposed to spend Christmas with my next younger sister, who is unmarried. Mom left this morning for this other sister's place, and I was to come later (I'm working on finding work, after having finished finishing her basement this last year). Late this afternoon, I get surprised, Mom is back. My other sister is having "problems". I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I don't read non-verbal communication (I'm an Aspie). We had kind of planned to buy a turkey at some point, there is a special on them. So fine, I will cook a turkey for Christmas. I have a history of buying flowers, which I think also might go well. Anything else I should be doing? It feels like I should be doing something else, but I really don't know what. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:22:32 PM | Just let your mom know you love her! Spend some time together playing cards or Scrabble. Enjoy Christmas Day for what it is .... a day to give from the heart and enjoy the company of our loved ones.
Merry Christmas to you!
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:46:20 PM | It's the 23rd already... you better go buy that turkey!
Takes 12 hours in the fridge, to thaw. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:32:59 PM | | My son and I spent many Christmases with just the two of us. As long as you are with people you love, that's all that matters. This Christmas, as well as the last two, it will be me, my son and daughter-in-law. We all live together. Since I've been unable to work for the last 5 months, it's going to be a bare Christmas as far as presents go. But being with my kids and them with me, means more to us than all the presents in the world. The flowers for your mom are a lovely idea. The two of you can make Christmas dinner together. Perhaps your mother would like you to accompany her to Christmas service. I love going to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. It's a wonderful way to start the Lord's birthday. Have a lovely Christmas with the person who loves you most in the world. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 6:52:18 PM | | It could be worse. My mom is in the hospital so I will be alone for Christmas. Make the best of the day with your mother. The DVD "A Christmas Story" may be fun for your mother to watch. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:52:42 PM | | If there's only two of you it might be better to get a chicken. It will probably be easier to find a chicken at this time of year, possibly cheaper and you won't have so many leftovers. I personally also find chicken more moist and therefore tastier than turkey. But that's just me. Christmas dinner isn't complete with out mashed potatoes either. Also incorporate any foods that are a tradition at christmas (for my family it's this cheesecake type stuff my mom makes and cabbage rolls and carrot casserole, some families have different traditions). Also, just be sure to let your mom know you love her, take her out for Christmas eve service if she's religious. Maybe there's lots of houses with nice lights you could go on a tour of after Christmas dinner... | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:55:13 PM | | Cooking dinner for her is the best gift and being with her that day. I think that's enough. My dad is 70 and alone, parents divorce, his family is completely dysfunctional and he has nothing to do with them except one sister who has her own family. I am not rich and there's nothing my dad needs. But, he loves a good meal that someone took the time to prepare right. So, I'll start making up things tomorrow in preparation for baking on Christmas day. But, if you wanted to get your mom flowers and she likes them then I would. But, I'd guess she'll appreciate the dinner and time spent with her. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:57:35 PM | I don't consider the "trappings" as nice as they may be to be all that important.
Some of our most memorable holidays as the ones where we share memories, family stories that are passed down or just enjoy each other's company.
The best thing you could give your mother is that you love her and really DO enjoy being with her. I'd rather share a TV dinner with my kids and have a good time just being with them then to have a gourmet meal and be caught up in the "expected" have to haves.
It's a priceless heritage to know that your children still seek out and truly enjoy your company.
If you'd indulge, give your mom a hug for me. I'd love to give my mother just one more. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/23/2007 10:15:37 PM | | I'd check out the movies on TV, rent DVDs if necessary and choose some *nice* things to watch. She might like Shrek or the Grinch or just some old-fashioned Cary Grant films. As others have said, take her to a local church service if she enjoys that kind of thing, and perhaps a walk after lunch. It would be nice if your sisters would phone her, on the day, but that may be difficult to arrange. I am sure she will appreciate the fact that you are there with her and Perhaps the two of yu can have a good talk about Christmasses past and what your favourite parts are. I know that my mum and I appreciate the same single thing - the Christmas tree -- the wonderful smell of pine. That makes my Christmas complete, really. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:54:00 AM | Well, it's the morning of the 24'th, and the turkey will be purchased today. There's a sale on, wouldn't you know. First I need to find my 20 litre pot, because the plan is to brine the bird. Most of the stuff I've read about brining talks about not putting the bird in the brine until it is already thawed, but I can't see where it would hurt to actually stick the bird in frozen. It probably has a bit more tendency to float when frozen, but I suspect it would thaw faster in brine. I've cooked a long time, and gotten pretty good at it. As far as shows to watch goes, it would be nice if there was a Christmas show that involved golfing, she enjoys that a lot and is getting pretty good.
Thanks for writing people. I hope you guys have a good holiday season as well. | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:51:42 AM | My holidays are much, much different than years ago. I have no close family left except one brother and my two kids. My ex husband has remarried and the kids spend some of the time with him and his new wife and her mother...her mother gets my kids stuff, which is nice, but it makes me miss my deceased mother and makes it hard to not resent this woman for somehow replacing my mother (even though she is not even trying to do that). It is hard not to focus on "what used to be" during the holidays. My ex-husband's parents (who do not speak to him anymore because they don't like his new wife) have even invited me to their family get-togethers because they feel sorry for me for being allll alone, but, first of all, I didn't get along with them when I was still married to him, and secondly, I would feel like such an outsider. I am tired of always being an outsider. So anyway, I try to just do things around the house to make MY holiday enjoyable for me. Of course, at work tomorrow, people will ask what I did, how much family was around, etc. and it sounds so pathetic compared to their lives.
But, maybe people like us are gifted: we KNOW enough to think of others during the holidays, those who are lonely and doing without...even someday when our lives are better, and they will be, we will remember how this feels and will do something to share with others? | |
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| Christmas for 2 (me and Mom)
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:37:59 AM | My Mom's side of the family has been pretty consistent with "Christmas", but it is the first Saturday of December. So, well away from collisions with other happenings. My Mom goes more often than us kids, but I still get their occasionally. Lots of people, and zillions of younger cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. that I don't have a hope of remembering (numbers I can remember). I've been working on the family tree on and off as my contribution, Grandma and Grandpa are both dead. Not too many records survive from the Ukraine.
But, like all families some people get divorced. It seems the family has made a decision to continue inviting the former members of the family to Christmas. Something like 5-10 years now. It seems to work okay, from what I've heard and seen. | |
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