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 EtchedOut
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 1
How do you perceive lonersPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
As a teen and young adult...making friends and building my contact list was everything to me...I'd goto the bar once or twice a week and socialize, a practice which I still follow, although not so much to make new friends, but to be around those who already are.

Other than the bar however, I'm something of a loner...I work from home...software developer so I'm pretty isolated. I'm hoping to have my own business in late spring of 08 and this will likely require me to travel a lot. Separating me even more from friends and family.

Honestly, I'm just getting tired of being around people...I'm pedantic and hate being inconvenienced, but I think most would say I'm mellow in apperance...I don't typically complain, just bite my lip and **** about it online.

I goto the movies by myself and the bar as well...sometimes I go out to eat, walks, etc...my "me" time is important as I constantly need to adapt to the rapidly evolving software market.

Whether I am becoming a loner by choice or it's my life's destiny I'm not sure, but what do you think of people who are loners?

Would you ever vote a single (albeit successful & well articulated) man into any kind of political power, whether local municipality or what have you?

For the women: If you met a guy and a few days later ran into him at a theatre and noticed he wasn't with anyone and asked who was with and in response he said himself...would you consider that creepy? Would it scream "commitment issues"?

Cheers :)
 The Belly
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 2
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:27:37 PM

Would you ever vote a single (albeit successful & well articulated) man into any kind of political power, whether local municipality or what have you?


Well of course! There will always be the thought that the guy is gay, But a marital status wouldn't make much difference.

But that is a rather ignorant question to ask if you put it all together like you have..
I'm sure as feck not going to vote for a guy that doesn't like to be around people, and would rather not be inconvenienced... Hell we already have a Bush in office..


~Belly~
 outofthedesert
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 3
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:37:35 PM

For the women: If you met a guy and a few days later ran into him at a theatre and noticed he wasn't with anyone and asked who was with and in response he said himself...would you consider that creepy? Would it scream "commitment issues"?


I might wonder why he had not asked me............wait, that is another thread--he's just not that into you.
 nymie465
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 4
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:12:28 PM
Being a loner isn't all that bad. At least you already know the company that you'll be going home with! lol... I've worked in a bar for far too long and the side of people that I see at the end of the night usually doesn't inspire me to go out and get deep into their emotional issues. Hence, the bar buddies. Working in an office? Work friends. When my marriage ended, I seem to have lost the friendships that were made during that time. It's a shame, but life goes forwards. When I'd gotten married, I lost my single friends and acquired his.... There's a shift in balance of friendships. Where you are in your life determines much of who you allow in. Closing down the borders is something that is insideously easy to allow to happen but I don't believe it to be unhealthy. But finding myself alone on Christmas Eve.... I much prefer this to being with a group of people that are vaccuous and phony.

As to the politician being a loner? Wasn't Clinton basically a loner that was married? lol.... That to me wouldn't make a difference. Just as long as the candidate was qualified.
And if I ever met a guy alone at the movies? It would only be creepy if he was going to see a kids movie by his lonesome...
 beauty_marked
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 5
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:13:51 PM
Its cool. Im a loner so i understand fellow loners
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 6
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:24:47 PM

Its cool. Im a loner so i understand fellow loners


I feel the same way.


Most of the famous people i looked up to as a kid were loners at some point of their life. They went out and ventured into the world alone and accomplished great things without having a mate let alone a sidekick.

Being comfortable being alone is a strength... not a weakness.
 joro
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 7
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:25:00 PM
its xmas eve. only ones left are loners. doesnt make us bad and it doesnt make us loosers. just makes us.. well... us.

many of us probably have the deepest souls out there. some of us just plain dont get all this bullsh-t. there are just way too many worthwhile battles to fight to argue with people here.

so think about what the holiday is for, what it means, who you are, and do the best the next chance u get. chances are we'll be fine and find someone on our journey out there in the real world doing what we do.

until it happens,
 Wemble_on_KrimiaRiver
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 8
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:33:40 PM
Damn, EtchedOut, you said "pedantic". Do you know how hard it is to work that word into everyday conversation?

I am a confirmed loner myself. I don't know if it is my destiny, or just who I evolved into being. I prefer my own company to that of other people. I am nonsocial rather than antisocial because put into a social situation I can be witty and funny and can talk the hind leg off a mule. But when push comes to shove I prefer to be alone and do things alone. My life is simple and uncomplicated and that's the way I like it.

And yes, I would vote for somebody for public office who was a loner, as long as they were qualified and here in the U.S., not a Republican.
 vahbsc
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 9
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:16:20 PM
single or married, people put up with all kinds of sh** throughout life.

i would vote if people didn't throw elections and any type of charity or government help reached the inner cities and ghettos of america

and i'm a loner with a lot of friends

half of the "popular people" are hanging out with people who'd rat on them in an interrogation room.

don't sweat that... i'd bet you're the reallest nicca you know. so thereore stay with them real folks... brush it off man. i know its tiresome but things won't always be the same...

i think people who go out to eat and to the movies alone are raw. i'm one of them
 Next Time Round
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 10
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:03:42 PM
I was social as a young kid to a degree but I always needed alone time. Later I was isolated by parental rules but I rarely went out even when I got married.

We'd go camping together every weekend in the summer but there was such a screwed up situation with step-parents and in-laws and whatever that the winter was spent doing what I felt was pleasing everybody else.

I'd never been to a bar till I was 21 and, as much as I liked hard rock on my headphones or as background music, I'd get bored and confused in places where the music was too loud to talk.

Sure I have issues about getting together with someone but I think that's borne out of poor decision making in the past and baggage that was really hard to work through more than anything else.

I like myself and I'm a loner who takes myself out all the time. I don't think it's weird because if I don't give myself an outlet to just be myself I'll withdraw, daydream, or tune out regardless.
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 11
view profile
History
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:31:20 PM

For the women: If you met a guy and a few days later ran into him at a theatre and noticed he wasn't with anyone and asked who was with and in response he said himself...would you consider that creepy? Would it scream "commitment issues"?

No. Chances are I'd be there by myself, too.
 2 girls short of a 3some
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 12
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:38:39 PM
lets see

loners - have belief in themselves, do what they want to do rather than conform, generally achieve alot as they fill their time with more than just idle pursuits, are more than capable in many circumstances having learnt to be self reliant

just to name a few qualities -- qualities that are admirable

so yep loners are ok
 MtLoopHiker
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 13
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:43:13 PM
The only people who notice loners are themselves, and maybe, other loners. Everyone else is too busy.
 Herding Cats
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 14
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 9:09:03 PM
Hmmm... I don't know any other loners...

 The Devils Advocate
Joined: 7/27/2007
Msg: 15
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 9:09:40 PM
Yep, Another confirmed loner here,.. so I'm very cool with loners.
I would'nt think it was creepy to see someone sitting in a theatre themselves,.. I'd probably just think it was rather brave,.. I'm a loner that prefers to stay at home,.. or near home.. you get the picture,lol.
I think Thunderballs put it perfectly.. loners have some admirable qualities.
Introversion is only undesirable to very extroverted partners who must have that outward interaction to feel good. Introverts understand that solitary pursuits are fine. DAx
 Eric48
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 16
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 9:18:10 PM
Would you ever vote a single (albeit successful & well articulated) man into any kind of political power, whether local municipality or what have you?


Naaah, cause on your first day of public office ... I'm afraid you'd impose a 10: PM curfew for all citizens and push through an emergency order for more ... "me" time.

Or, something more diabolical, like; ... "Reserved Parking for Mayor EtchedOut, Only" ... at all the Movie Theaters, Bars and Restaurants across town.





Besides ... you gotta kiss a lot of babies to get elected ...


and I just can't see you doin dat.

 imaginings
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 17
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 9:20:41 PM
I'll be in the den.
 Bethlett
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 18
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:27:52 PM
Sure you do, Herding! You know me! :-) Just think. Once we are living together in taht little cottage on the coast, we won't be loners anymore. We'll be Duo-ers. LOLOL

Cry Me A River said:

"Damn, EtchedOut, you said "pedantic". Do you know how hard it is to work that word into everyday conversation?"

Usually everyday conversation is pedantic. But calling that to anyone's attention is somewhat insulting...hence the reason for the lack of the use of the word.
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 19
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:34:32 PM
As a bonafide loner, I have received many a quizzical remarks and expressions. Such as you're; gay, strange, boring and bewilderment as I buy one ticket at the box office.

Now to top it off, we loners are being compared to Bush. Well, please remove this loner from this group... too funny! In my perception of reality, loner does not equal idiot box.

People fear and ostrisize the unknown. Loners are the epitome of the unknown. This fear of the unknown is a basic human instinct. Most do not relate to a non-social being, because culture instills socialistic behaviour at a very early age. Yet, I still yearn aloness. Why? Could it possibly be imprinted in my DNA? I know I have been this way since I can remember. (maybe even longer)

Yes, I would vote for a loner. Examples: Stephen Harper, Ralph Nader, Garry Kasparov...

As for fear of commitment, I fear I have this fear. After all it is an unknown. What is it they say,'fight or flight'?

By the way, I love animation such as Walt Disney's through 'Lord Of The Rings'. I guess that makes me really really creepy guy and not just young at heart.

Now it is time to return my head where it belongs,
in the sand,

Ur 'Ostrich' Xoxo.
 Herding Cats
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 20
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:35:08 PM

Pedantic:
marked by a narrow focus on or display of learning especially its trivial aspects


I had to look it up. How boring to focus on the pedantic, I'd say :)
 pnayplayr
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 21
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:39:45 PM
i used to think guys who watches movies on their own are "losers"...but now, i think, they just don't have that many friends...atleast the kinds who he/she has the same interest in. i think loners are cute. creepiness to me is defined by how he interacts with me and stuff...
 Herding Cats
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 22
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:53:08 PM
I see movies whenever I want. I don't need someone sitting next to me.

In fact, I was heading out on a huge music weekend party and knew that the last showing of a movie I wanted to see was the last night I'd be in my home town. No one wanted to go...

So I went.

Glad I did, too. That particular movie lost a lot in translation to video and if I was a puss about going on my own, I'd never have seen it in full gory glory.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 23
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History
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/25/2007 2:07:56 AM
I've been going to the movies by myself for years and I don't really have much of a problem with it. My friends are either not interested in going out to the theaters (they prefer video at home) or they only like action movies. I like the idea of leaving the house to see a show and the blow-them-up movies often aren't my choice, so I either go by myself or miss out on what I really want to see. It's obvious what I choose.
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 24
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:56:58 AM
I'm a loner and I appreciate other loners. They give you your space....you just have to find one who wants 'togetherness' about the same percentage of time that you do.
 MrVitamix
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 25
How do you perceive loners
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:00:02 AM
some are tortured poetic souls, some of them are bad poets.

some are people who just don't conform to society in a multitude of ways

some are just sick of OPS ( other peoples shyte)

I have met a few well adjusted people ( mentally) who are loners but most are not well balanced mentally.

I dont think a commitmentphobic and a loner are the same thing.
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