| FEELINGSPage 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|I just wanted to know if you are in a relationship what gift would you give your lady for xmas?what happens if she does not like the gift would you get mad and end the relationship.what do you think of a man that gives a women a gift that it is the type that she could of bought or you could of bought at anytime and it is not the type you would give to a women on x mas?and the women bought her gift with care and know it was something you would like and the man never asked the women what does she like or need.what I am saying is when getting someone a gift for someone you say you love at x mas the gift should be personal filled with love and in this case the gift was not and made the women fill not love or cared for .and the gift can cost a doller but you know you are loved and cared for.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:17:34 AM
|I would get her whatever she wanted. what is this a trick question?|
your making a big deal about gifts, like your a cheapo.
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:20:55 AM
|I had to read your question a few times to understand what you were asking and Im still not sure I do.|
When I buy someone something I try to listen to them to find out what they like and don't like. It may take some very subtle hints to find out what they like. If you listen to them during regular converations you should know what they enjoy. Then buy something along that line. it still doesn't have to be expensive.
I also think it depends on how long you have been dating. If you have just started keep the gift generic. Flowers, a bottle of wine, heck get three bottles if you aren't sure what kind they like to cover all your bases. If you are really concerned about it do something nice for them like a card with a home made certificate that says they get a free one hour massage from you, or dinner for two cooked by you etc. There are lots of ways to tell someone you care without purchasing a thing!
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:28:41 AM
I just wanted to know if you are in a relationship what gift would you give your lady for xmas?
Something she wanted.
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:29:05 AM
|I had to add punctuation (mentally) to read this. If I have it right: What do I think of a man who gives ,what I think is, a gift he put no thought into?|
I wouldn't feel very special to him.
| My I|
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:42:58 AM
|I wouldn't give her one gift. I think I would mix up the gifts. Some romantic and some gifts wouolod be according to what her needs are. As well, there are those simple little gifts that make a person's life a litle easier. Such as an emergency road kit for her vehicle or a membership to CAA in the event she needs emergency towing or a battery recharged in the dead of winter.|
The idea that all gifts should be romantic is not reasonable.
If she complained about the gifts I gave her, I wouldn't end the relationship (she'll probably ruin it on her own).... I would become more aware of her pretentious attitude... red flag!
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:48:14 AM
|give her cash. |
nothing like giving a woman the gift of shopping.
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:12:32 AM
|It is not how much money the gift cost but what she needs and the gift shows feelings and that she was thought of and cared for and loved.I it can cost a doller but you see the feelings the care the love.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:45:38 AM
what happens if she does not like the gift would you get mad and end the relationship.If she doesn't like the gift, she might get mad and end the relationship.
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:12:51 AM
|Ssomeplace what if the women gave the guy a gift that was a gift he can use for something he loves but he put nothing into her gift and he gave a past girlfriend a gift she slept with for months?|
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:43:35 AM
|why ask us? We aren't the one seeing her. We don't know her intersts or tastes. Get real.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:06:56 AM
|After reading the initial post, I was trying to figure out what you were questioning. At first I thought he might not know you well enough to get an appropriate gift for Christmas. Then you said:[quote he put nothing into her (your) gift and he gave a past girlfriend a gift she slept with for months?That statements says a lot more to me. It appears as if you are saying that his past girlfriend got a better gift than you did.|
Now, think of the reasons why this may be (it could be one, or a combination):
1. he knows his ex girlfriend better than he knows you.
2. he is not over his ex girlfriend, and you are a 'filler', with him hoping to go back to her.
3. he is saying he loves you, but he is NOT REALLY SURE OF HIS WORDS. Therefore, a token gift to you.
So, in all of these above reasons, you need to find out the real reason WHY. Calmly (emphasis on CALMLY) ask him why he gave his ex girlfriend a gift. Do not worry about your own gift. You need to find out what he is thinking. If you rant and yell at him, you will probably lose him, and never know why. Do not be jealous of the ex girlfriend and her gift - focus on finding out what he is thinking.
Think positively on this one. You have him in your life. Isn't that good enough in itself?
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:21:34 AM
and he gave a past girlfriend a gift she slept with for months?
What’d he give her? A pillow?
Posted: 12/25/2007 3:03:17 PM
| smilian bob you are with someone and you are talking about people you used to be with but are no longer with and you talk about what gifts you gave past relationship and the guy tells you about someone he dated a long time ago and what he gave her and it turns out women liked the gift and she never took it off for six months .and he tells you he loves you.and you give the man a gift that he can use for something he loves to do.and right now I feel hurt very because in one way I should of taken the gift and in another something inside me says he did not want to give a gift with feelings.and if this gift was given out of feelings I feel bad because I hurt him.gift was something not a gift a man gives a women he loves or says he loves it is something women can use but he should of then gave something with it that shows love and caring and it could be a poem from the heart a massage a candle lit dinner.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:04:23 PM
he gave a past girlfriend a gift she slept with for months?
Corded or battery operated?
Duckman a necklace
I will have you know young lady that I am not a necklace...
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:07:22 PM
|Duckman a necklace and that was years ago!!!|
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:58:47 PM
|What was this gift that was so thoughtless??|
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:09:57 PM
| bart 148 A thing for joint pain.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:17:10 PM
|Well the next question would be do you have joint pain? did you talk to him about it at one time or another? if you did it would be a thoughtful gift,but I would think there should have been a more personal gift on top of that.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:28:51 PM
|Thank you for the clarification.|
I would not be upset at a gift my mate had given to someone else in a past relationship. It is history, and I cannot change it.
I also would not expect my date to give me an equal better gift ('raise the bar') based on their past gift-giving history. There could be lots of reasons. They might not have money to purchase an extravagant gift. They might not be not have a strong emotional attachment. They might not think 'romantically.'
This is obviously bothering you. You think you have been left 'holding the bag'. I do not know how strong or how long the relationship has been in place between you and him. You now have a choice - continue the relationship and hope the gift 'importance' increases, or quit the relationship. It is your choice.
If I received a gift, regardless of the value, or impact on me, I would remember it as a gift.
I would also send a thank you note.
But, I am weird.. and that is just me.
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:34:02 PM
|yes some arth and he has one also for that.yes I told him I could use that but I feel on xmas that is not a gift to give someone and he could of given it to me months ago.he has given a past women a necklace she slept with it six months.and he had a cord thing that looked like a yellow gold necklace and was not and said here is your present and laughed.he was going to give me a art kid gift for my birthday and said why should I give you gold you will break up with me.and I took my present that I had given him back.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:40:44 PM
|smilin bob H e has good job and spend alot of money on his self for something he loves to do!I know it is not about money but love and caring!and I am talking about a tiny bit over a year.gifts should make you feel loved and cared about!we had a big fight I ended up in the cold waiting for a family member to come and get me on xmas eve.and he says he loves me.sad so sad crying all day all I wanted was to feel loved and cared about.on top of that my divorce was final a few months ago we were apart years and it would of been over 20 years! my husband cheated and did some bad things to me.I just got back to dating after ex husband and met this one and I am hurt again.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 5:57:36 PM
|It sounds to me he got you something he felt you needed,he cared enough to not want you to hurt,where he made the mistake was telling you about the necklace,where you made the mistake was expecting something because of the necklace.Just be glad you have someone in your life who cares how you feel ,some of us don't have anyone.|
Don't give up on him yet,see what Valentines day does,thats when true feelings should show IMHO.
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:05:51 PM
|bart1948 we had a fight on xmas eve about it I said I am going and I left after he said get out and I waited outside in the cold for a family member to get me my mom we are very close. he called this morning to say I hurt him and the wire cord thing was not real and made a joke saying here is your present!!and something about I do not deserve this gift or a better one.I spoke to him like I had said in the morning a few times and it was not nice.he said he loves me on xmas eve morning.there is alot more stuff going on then this but this it not the place to air it out.I have not spoken to him since the morning and it is nightime now.I feel so bad hurt and sad.I did not mean to hurt him but he hurt me alot over alot of things and I said some not nice things to him out of being hurt and because of the things I said this is what he gave me to get even with me.|
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:22:38 PM
|i think that the real question is why are you in a relationship where you do not feel cared about or loved to begin with?|