| | why do men seem to distance them selfs after sexPage 1 of 1 | | i have been seeing this guy i meet on this site for about a month and about a week ago we had sex and everything has been ok but lately he seems to be a bit distance we still talk on the phone at least 2-3 times a day and we also text he has been busy at work the past few days and he says he misses me and wants to spend time with me it's just things keep happening this past week to where we have not been able to see each other is he pulling away or am i just over reacting | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:16:06 AM | hmm..hard to say really, if you're still talking/messaging and he's not totally blowing you off then its prolly ok but if a guy uses a female..get what he wants, His gut instinct is to cut the ties for whatever reason that he isnt interested anymore..and run
- sex was no good
-no connection/awkwardness during sex
-or he was just using you [This is the most common..he got his kill..next plzz] | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:50:55 AM | It is Christmas Holiday. Things could be busy. When you indicate you talk on the phone 2 or 3 times a day, are you calling him, or is he calling you?
If YOU are doing all the action, and he is only responding, he may be pulling back. If HE is taking actions (calling you, texting you first), then you may be over-reacting. He indicates he is busy. Do his reasons for being busy sound legitimite?
So, first take note of who is calling whom. From there you can judge if he might be pulling away. If you keep calling him all the time, then he may not be pulling away.. You might be PUSHING him away.
I wish you the best of luck! | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:55:58 AM | If a guy is REALLY into a woman....he doesn't become distant after the first sex.
If a guy is 'not really sure' he's into you, but you're cute 'enough', he'll see if the sex makes him REALLY into you......because, after all, why turn down sex if the woman is offering??
After the first sex, he realizes the sex didn't make him see the stars he thought it possibly could.......and he starts distancing himself..... and starts looking around for a woman he can be REALLY into......
Shallow??? maybe.... but it's just as shallow for a woman to give it up so fast and expect a different result until they were BOTH sure...... | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:11:20 AM | Talk on the phone 2-3 times a day? No wonder he's a bit distant. He must have put in some serious effort and time. He probably needs to resume his life in a normal fashion. If someone calls me more than once a day just to chat, I get annoyed. Guy or girl.
If you really wanna know what's up, stop contacting him. Or at the very least, cut it down a lot. 2-3 times a day? Whew!!! | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:22:37 AM | thats true too..im talking a to female on this site and we only message on myspace or talk on the phone like once a day at most..so, yea..lay off see if he comes to you..you dont hear from him in 4-5 days..move on
and no santa said -
"Onward Ho !"
Sorry couldt help it. :) | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 12:10:43 PM | For the reason that runners stop after they cross the finish line. Why keep running after you reach your goal?
Busy at work? If he is so busy at work, where is he finding time to call you 2-3 times per day and text?
He got what he wanted and he is now distancing himself from you. Sad fact, but that's how it typically goes. | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 12:20:23 PM | | My problem with this post is you said "why do men..." yet you are only talking about 1 guy,I can't answer for him but it's not fair to generalize on one occasion. It would be better if you put "why did this guy..." | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 12:40:28 PM | Some men are only into a onetime thing, like a lot of women i know, it's the chase i think...and it works both way's, men and women....like Oh Sh*t...what have i done!... | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:17:13 PM | | Wait, calls 2 or 3 times A DAY? Yeah, that might be the problem. How do you have anything to talk about when you see each other face to face? I don't like to be left guessing if a woman is interested in me, so I like them to take initiative too, but that might be a little suffocating. Otherwise, Bob is right, if he is instigating a significant portion of the texts/calls, then you have nothing to worry about, he's probably just busy. | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:29:58 PM | it's a pride thing...we are nervous about talking about our feelings, and what we really want, and after sex, we want a little space, because we got something we're not getting used to on a regular basis, so it has to sink in, and we have to search our feelings.
and sometimes, unfortunately, after sex, many men see all the flaws in the woman they couldn't see before they had sex with them, and now that they got that relief they needed, they dont want no part of her because of all those flaws.
some men, also just want to sit back and see how she's gonna react...believe it or not, men get used for one night stands to. happened to me in June of 2006...and i honestly thought I had found the girl of my dreams. 5'5", 115#, dark curly hair, blue eyes, had an education, and a career, and all the bells and whistles a guy looks for in a girl, and she used me for a $100 night on the town (dinner + 2 tickets to Lisa Lampanelli), took me back to her place, and proceeded to give the best 11 hours of sex I have ever had in my entire life, and when i woke the next morning (with only about 45 minutes of sleep) to go to work, she kissed me good night, made me promise I would come see her again in 2 days...i said definitely. I left her house floating on Cloud 9, 100% in love, and ready for a serious relationship, and ready to give her children. I never heard from her again, and I don't think ever been so devastated so badly, in such a short amount of time, in my entire life. i went by her house a week later, only to find out she had moved, and according to her sister, moved 2 1/2 hours south, and had met some rich guy at a company party.
but back on topic, when he calls, don't give in to sex, just tell him you want to spend some time with him and enjoy his company. and if he doesnt show or makes excuses, then give it up, and move on. | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/26/2007 1:57:35 AM | Talking on the phone 2-3 times a day (and texting too) after dating a month doesn't exactly sound like he's distancing himself to me. Half of it is probably in your imagination, the other half is that he obviously doesn't have to try quite so hard to hold your attention now you've slept with him.
Starting worrying if you're not hearing from him for days. Otherwise, you'll just get paranoid and push him away. | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/26/2007 2:53:27 AM | | You are afraid of losing him. I can understand that. You didn't say if he also calls you or not. If you're doing all the calling, then there's a problem. It's normal to get busy at work. Are your phone conversations a lot shorter or very different. You didn't give us enough information, but it seems like he is definitely still interest since he does send you texts and calls. A man who isn't interested won't do that. If he just wanted sex, he'd be gone by now. Don't let fear take over you... | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/26/2007 3:00:34 AM | -the female black widow spider will kill and suck all the vital juices out of the the male after mating
-the female preying mantis will rip the head off the male to complete the copulating process
-the female scorpion will kill and eat the male, if she gets the opportunity
-the famale cat (in heat) will attack and try to injure the male cat -if he isn't fast enough to jump off and run like hell.
(honey, he aint taking any chances...) | |
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| why do men seem to distance them selfs after sex
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:02:42 AM |
he seems to be a bit distance we still talk on the phone at least 2-3 times a day
he seems distant but you talk 2-3 times a day?
and you text each other?
It seems to me that you are being somewhat paranoid. If you are initiating on the contact, back off a little. If he's truly busy then he's not going to appreciate getting lots of text messages.
Take a day to appreciate the wonderland that is winter. Look at a few possible days that you could meet with and then call him and set up a time/date to meet for dinner or something. That way you set up something specific to put your mind at ease and give him flexibility if he is busy with work. | |
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