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Posted: 12/29/2007 4:54:10 PM | i find out thru a series of phonecalls from men i've met from this site that i'm not worth more than a roll in the hayloft. each one just pounds the crap out of my self esteem and drives home the idea that i'm not worth more than being some man's sperm dumpster. one that i'd agreed to be a sex buddy with had the nerve to tell me because i gave him what he wanted that i was the "bad guy"
i cant count the number of late night phone calls i've had offering me the perverbial booty call in the last week..even from those that i've never had sex with..i cant believe how stupid i was to think i was worth more than the crumbs i'm being offered.
i'm done with this place for a while..my esteem has taken all it can take from the men in this place/town
good luck to the rest of you...suckers....
edi | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 5:04:52 PM | | If you believe what they say, then that is your problem. The fact that they think this way is their problem. Never let someone else define how you feel about yourself. Only you know your true worth and how good of a person you are. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 5:06:57 PM | You get what you're willing to put up with - the only problem is when you want better value it takes more care and even a willingness to go without the easy stuff. I've come across plenty of women who only want sex (and my ex wife only saw me as a sperm donor and told me so at the end of our marriage 13 years in).
Sorry OP but you sound like someone who's just realised they've got to take more responsibility for their sexual behaviour. It's a matter of what you think you're worth, not someone else. You must have put yourself in the situation in the first place? It can be difficult to spot though, can't it?
Raise the stakes by valuing yourself more - all you've learned is what you don't want. Don't feel too bad about it; happens to all of us. Chin up, mate! | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 5:15:40 PM | Edi.........
"i find out thru a series of phonecalls from men i've met from this site that i'm not worth more than a roll in the hayloft. each one just pounds the crap out of my self esteem and drives home the idea that i'm not worth more than being some man's sperm dumpster. "
My first question, is.......WHY? Why are you allowing yourself to be used? As long as you are allowing those that are users to use you in that manner, your self esteem will suffer. You women and yes some men, keep doing this yo yourself, is beyond me. Then it ruins it for the guys and gals that want a serious relationship, and deem an intimate relationship. Intimacy is something that is supposed to groe out of a relationship, or so I thought it was supposed to.
The best to you. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 5:19:16 PM | Don't feel like the lone stranger. It isn't only YOU. I have talked to a lot of women -- all sizes, ages and backgrounds. Men just have a bad habit of thinking with their pointy little heads. Don't take it personally.
As for the guy who tried to turn it around on you . . . he will do that in ANY situation. He is primarily a juvenile who cannot take responsibility for his own wrong doing.
Tell me something, vosche, is masturbation so much better with someone else in the room that you are willing to undermine your own self worth and self respect? And believe me, that is all sex with strangers is -- masturbation. Frankly, I can do it myself with a lot less hassle, self recrimination and self doubt. Not to mention few men are as good at sex as they think they are -- you can probably satisfy yourself a lot better than most guys. For companionship -- if you really think about it, your lady friends are rally more fun.
Men have a short circuit between their brains and their crotches. Take heart -- be ruthlessly guarded of your virtue. If a guy takes you out for the first time through the 3rd time -- don't have sex with him. If sex is all he wants, he will disappear, but you will still have your self respect and HE can't say anything bad about you.
Good luck. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 5:42:46 PM |
Men have a short circuit between their brains and their crotches.
Um, excuse me, but unless this series of men forced themselves on her, she's been giving it up at a pretty fair clip.
YOUR self esteem is only YOUR problem, and you are in complete control of it. You are in complete control of when your knees come apart, so don't blame men for taking what you give them.
Sorry to sound harsh, but blaming others for how you see yourself is a load of shit. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 6:33:03 PM | | sorry edi, to bad I do not live in FL anymore... would have loved to change your mind about guys. good luck in your endevors. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 6:38:53 PM |
YOUR self esteem is only YOUR problem, and you are in complete control of it. You are in complete control of when your knees come apart, so don't blame men for taking what you give them.
Sorry to sound harsh, but blaming others for how you see yourself is a load of shit.
Harsh, but I'll Co-sign.
Sounds like she just needs to take a break for awhile to get her self esteem & self respect back.
POF (IMO) is not a good place to date when you aren't being realistic about how many bad apples there really are on here (both male & female)
POF = entertainment ...nothing more, nothing less. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 6:46:13 PM | | and yet another example of my favorite saying... "Once you pass 18, there are no victims, only volunteers." | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 6:46:24 PM | | Well maby you should stop talking to jerks, or maby you should stop being one. Judging by your post, you've got a 50/50 chance of being right if you choose one of my above pieces of advice. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 6:49:21 PM | | I also am done Jan. 1. To many broken people. Most men on this site are not together enough to date. At least I can say I tried this. Not for me. Happy new year and best of luck to all. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 7:25:00 PM | Edi , what do you expect??? you have a pics showing your body what do you expect from some men? you're a woman , they are horny buggers and want tap everyone they can
I have female friends on here that hasn't experience the same thing, because they set healthy boundaries and most men wouldn't dare cross the line.
Maybe you should re evaluate what you are doing to attract these types of men? no. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 7:39:56 PM | So why Jan 1st? Just enough time to have people beg you to stay?
You mean you won't even stay for the sheer entertainment of the Broken Hearts forum, where woman after woman posts about her bad taste in men? Where man after man posts about why his 22 year old girlfriend left him the last time he was arrested for running a portable meth lab in his van?
You can't get better entertainment than this without pay-per-view!!!
Don;t you feel REALLY good about yourself when you read the tales of woe posted by the truly desperate who see POF as the last chance to snag someone knowing that you are a lot smarter than that?
C'mon!!! | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 15 | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 7:49:20 PM |
one that i'd agreed to be a sex buddy with
Sounds like you're on here for sex, not a serious relationship, so that's what people are going to expect from you.
Quit agreeing to be sex buddies with anyone unless that's what you are looking for.
Quit giving your number out to so many people. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 7:49:25 PM | edi..
Noone can walk all over you unless you lie down....
Dont blame the men you are talking with at all hours of the night because they will try to get what ever you allow them to get away with....
Always remember .... as my mother always taught me.... the woman sets the standard....
Sorry...
 jj
ps. with regard to her photos.... they most likely arent her body. WHO takes 4 pics, 2 with faces and two with just body parts? ( rolls eyes) | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 8:10:22 PM | LOL justjanice for real tho....aint that the truth!!!
YOUR self esteem is only YOUR problem, and you are in complete control of it. You are in complete control of when your knees come apart, so don't blame men for taking what you give them.
Sorry to sound harsh, but blaming others for how you see yourself is a load of shit.
Harsh, but I'll Co-sign.
Sounds like she just needs to take a break for awhile to get her self esteem & self respect back.
POF (IMO) is not a good place to date when you aren't being realistic about how many bad apples there really are on here (both male & female)
POF = entertainment ...nothing more, nothing less.
I agree to this.
But also she isn't saying that she is sleeping with these men...she is saying she is sleeping with one. I mean a sex buddy isn't so bad...right? A girl's got to get her freak on every now and then...plus, all men who are calling her are wanting to f*ck after portraying they want to get to know her and stuff. I just want friends and have been having the same problem and its hilarious to me coz its like...dude first of all you've never ****ing met me, second of all, you don't know me, and finally you don't live where I live so you are only setting yourself up for failure...talkin bout if I come up there can I spend the night at your house....my reply is HELL ****IN NO CREEPY DUMBASS I DON'T WANT HERPES!!!!
I will agree that it is extremely hard to find a guy who would rather be with you for you then to mess with you. Guys and girls are both bad at this and thats a human flaw; nothing more, nothing less. As of the self esteem issue....edi thats all you. YOUR point of view is the only thing that should matter to you. Why don't you STOP looking for someone to "settle with and date" and find something else that makes you passionate? Are you truly fulfilled with yourself? Have you reached your ideal self? What else are you immensely passionate about? I am on here to find friends because I know if you go and put yourself out there to be used, you will be used. If you say, "Yeah I want a relationship" guys will know you want sex eventually and all they have to say is the right thing. Don't sound desperate. Not to say all women who are on here looking for a relationship is desperate but just don't rush things and be aware. Its not hard to know who is being serious and who isn't on this site. After the initial call or so you should know. Don't let it get to you; don't hope. You get it; you get it. You don't; you don't. No reason to hang yourself and curse at them and be all pissed off when they just turn around and erase you from their mind the very second you say no. Just let it go and find some hobby or save a life. You can make a difference. Complete you and you never know...maybe someone will creep along and become a part of it. :-)
~Elle | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 8:17:39 PM | Why are you giving your phone number out so indiscriminately?
Use some judgment! | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 8:48:56 PM |
i cant count the number of late night phone calls i've had offering me the perverbial booty call in the last week
You have given your phone number out to that many men and you answer the phone after 9pm?
Maybe I don't have that because I try to only date one guy at a time and when I am not dating him any more, that is pretty much it.
It does often seem like guys are into finding out if you will be fwb if you don't make sure you let them know that you are disgusted by that.
Of course the other posters on here have some great responses...good luck to ya | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 8:54:12 PM | | i find that the problem on theses sites is that most people lie, they lie about body types, they lie about age,jobs, kids even intentions (long term, dating ect...) We all know it, and we even catch ourselves lying on our own profile. not maliciously of course, but because we want to be as appealing as possible. Im positive there are some good guys on this, its all about the screening process. when i first got this POF thing i was very naiive to sweet talk and if i had chosen to meet theses guys after talking to them only a few times before i had met them i would be in a very similar situation than you. but i found that most men will let their (true) intentions within a week or two. just ask the right questions and dont be afraid to tell a couple of them to **** themselves if they are going to be piggish, thats the beauty of the internet. don't give up and don't let inconsiderate losers affect your self image, its called SELF image, its all about you. You've got the power, not some sad man looking for a quick lay prying on a nice girl like you. | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 9:05:30 PM | dear men..
thanks so much for your double standard replies. its people like you that are driving good people like me off dating sites.
i love seeing the real attitudes of men here that just make my statements in my profile on this subject that much more concrete!
good luck to you all..i'm out | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 9:22:40 PM | YOUR self esteem is only YOUR problem, and you are in complete control of it. You are in complete control of when your knees come apart, so don't blame men for taking what you give them.
****************************
OMG I am actually oing to agree with this man what a shock...
agree that they cant have what you dont give and if it makes you feel so poorly close your legs... | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 10:20:13 PM | Men only treat you the way you let them.
Besides, why would you even let someone talk to you that way?
The second someone even tries to down talk me, I tell them to **** off. And to even consider talking to them a second time, well then the problem is with me obviously.
Might want to consider some self esteem group therapy. And keep telling yourself you're a strong beautiful woman, and deserve nothing but the best.
Keep your chin up! | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 10:59:41 PM | You are an easy lay, on this site for sex, yet complain when all men want you for is sex?
Cry me a river..............................
Instead of self esteem, try crossing your legs, it will do wonders.......... | |
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Posted: 12/29/2007 11:18:30 PM | First thing get a cell phone and use it only for dating-you know you can shut it off when you dont want to be bothered.
As to how the men treat you-why do you let them treat you badly
Your buddy needs to be kicked to the curb and I suggest you dont get another one for a long time since you cant handle being in that type of situation
Dating is always going to be a challenge no matter where you meet the people. | |
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