| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:28:39 PM | flowers or poems for no reason, a willingness to give a bit of themselves to another?
I spoke yesterday with a friend discussing whether or not these 'rituals of love' still exist. (Yes, I would also mean women treating their men this way too!) Is the expectation out there for women to be asking men out on a date? for ladies to treat?
and for women to propose to men?
Do men no longer plan wonderful dates with their potential or simply as them what they would like to do?
Any and all advice, words are greatly appreciated!
I am hoping the tides have not completely turned... | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:32:41 PM | | Yeah we exist, when I had a special someone I used to randomly send her flowers and notes, and do special things like that. I always loved the way her face would light up. So no the tides haven't turned as you say. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:47:39 PM | Yes they do exist just ike there are good woman out there that exist I just cant find them.
I surprised my g/f at the time with flowers at work (red Roses), the next day woke her up with a gift card to her favorite makeup store, the next day gave her her favorite perfume, and then took her to her favorite restaurant the next day for the 4 days of the birthday weekend.
I have wrote many of poems to her and I thought I treated her very well. Come to find out she cheated.
There are the good men out there, keep ya head up girl!
Doug | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:49:44 PM | ^^^
Yeah we exist, when I had a special someone I used to randomly send her flowers and notes, and do special things like that. I always loved the way her face would light up. So no the tides haven't turned as you say
Thanks Jeff, that's pretty much exactly what I would have said but you got to it before I did, but yes, we do still exist. It's just difficult to find that special someone to do all those things for lately. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:51:49 PM | One thing I've noticed is that a lot of the men who did sweet gestures and were all around gentlemen usually end up getting screwed in the end.
Quote: "It's just difficult to find that special someone to do all those things for lately."
Seems to be very true for men like us. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 2:58:19 PM |
men who did sweet gestures and were all around gentlemen usually end up getting screwed in the end.
Well then they were doing it backwards? And getting screwed, well - ahem -
Seriously - I got sent flowers a couple of times in my whole life. The first time, I had to have a baby to get them. The last time was from my kids. I probably would have heart failure if a guy did that stuff for me. And I like to do nice things for men as well, but this new dating pool just doesn't get it.
I had a guy over to dinner - cooked him a beautiful gourmet feast with nice wine and the works. He chowed down, kissed me a couple of times - all this time looking at his watch. "I have to go now" and poof, out the door. It's never a good feeling to give the "sweet gestures" and have them fall flat. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:00:22 PM | I spoke yesterday with a friend discussing whether or not these 'rituals of love' still exist. (Yes, I would also mean women treating their men this way too!)
Would you? More specificaly would you advocate women treatng their men in this way as a matter of routine?
In these boards no woman dares gripe ONLY about the men or she gets it back in the face with the shame ful way so many women treat thier men and the sick pride they take in doing so.
But outsied these boards. In girl only situations. Do you still believe that women should be treating their men bettre??
Then why did you direct your post squarely at the men.?
You asked "Do gentemen still exist" Unless you are totally sexist the question should have been "Does true romance still exist"
I would suggest that you ask the moderator to close down this board and start a new one about romance in general. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:10:22 PM | Very interesting. When I am feeling romantic towards the right person, I am extremely expressive. Flowers, Cards (Homemade), Calls for no reason other then to hear their voice, Notes, Poems and more...
But, it's incredibly hard to find a woman that appreciates all the little things. Where are they? They go after men that treat them like crap, hoping they will do the things that some of us romantic saps.
Thats the big problem is finding the woman that will appreciate me as much as I apprecaite her. I guess it boils down to the final issue.
Never settle for less the true Love.
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:18:23 PM | As one can not please everyone all of the time...I will leave the question as such!
Any of the men I have dated could agree to the fact that I treat men as I would like to be treated myself--with respect and dignity.
Since others responding with understanding to the question I posted, I do believe the question came across justly. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:22:25 PM | I will update that I have never found a woman that has treated me like I have treated them. Woman like to have special treatment every once in awhile and I believe that guys should also enjoy this treatment.
Just thoughts | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:10:10 PM | Im an extremely affectionate & thoughtful person when im with the right man....cant do enough for him.....and ive got it ALL bottled up in me, just waiting to shower that special guy with absolutely everything ive got...
Hmm.......maybe this year,08........ | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:14:50 PM | Yes, men like us do exist, even though we are part of the Endangered species community, we are here. It's just that because of all the bad men that have come and gone through many women's lives, we are often not noticed because we have to pay for their transgressions by not being given opportunity to prove to you we ARE gentlemen.
But believe me.....we are here, we are among you....
And we are waiting. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:15:19 PM |
Seriously - I got sent flowers a couple of times in my whole life. The first time, I had to have a baby to get them. The last time was from my kids. I probably would have heart failure if a guy did that stuff for me. And I like to do nice things for men as well, but this new dating pool just doesn't get it.
My local florist used to love seeing me stop in... hehe I really enjoy sending them for no particular reason; it makes them that much more of a surprise. I like hiding cards too, or little chocolate surprises.
We do still exist. I used to be disappointed when the gestures were not really appreciated, now I look at it as a clear sign that she is not the one.
Unfortunately, I'm falling out of practice... | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:49:55 PM | > Is the expectation out there for women to be asking men out on a date? for ladies to treat?
My momma didn't raise a fool, if she wants to pay, go for it! Heck, I'll usually even sleep w/ her and she won't be disappointed. WAIT! That's why she's taking me out, those damm ex GF's blab about everything... :roll:
>and for women to propose to men?
I had this happen, still kicking myself for saying "wait another year and it's yes".
>Do men no longer plan wonderful dates with their potential or simply as them what they would like to do?
I will do that after 5-6+ dates since I have good taste in food, that eliminates the date whores looking for a quick meal and you never hear from them again. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:52:13 PM |
im a gentleman but this site still sucks
IMHO, this site is on par with the others and it's free, even the pay sites I've seen are similar.
Remember one thing, the people who resort to internet dating sites are NOT the cream of the crop or they would be already taken. This is usually a last ditch effort for the folks who have not been successful anywhere else. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:54:58 PM |
Remember one thing, the people who resort to internet dating sites are NOT the cream of the crop or they would be already taken. This is usually a last ditch effort for the folks who have not been successful anywhere else.
That is sooo not true! Internet lets you expand the area w/o having to go someplace far away to find someone. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:00:26 PM |
Remember one thing, the people who resort to internet dating sites are NOT the cream of the crop or they would be already taken. This is usually a last ditch effort for the folks who have not been successful anywhere else.
That is so wrong in so many ways...... Is that why you are here? | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:46:46 PM | When I meet a woman out to whom my heart goes
There's a rather good chance the rhyming will flow
But when I hear it fil'tring through my head
Is when I know I've become infatuated.
Some guys may find making rhyme to be rough
As they try to impress and strut their stuff
But the simple things mean oh so much more
Like flowers, or poems, or holding the door
Whether actions or words your fondness sings
Guys know what I mean, those little small things
If it makes you feel good, do it for her
That'll bring a smile to her face, for sure | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:01:52 PM | I used to do cards, random gifts, breakfast in bed, notes, dates, etc...
When I'm with the right person all of that seems to come naturally because I want to make them happy.
My problem, lately? I don't approach first dates with that sort of enthusiasm. I've been told that many women are looking for sparks, passion, and romance right from the start, and that isn't something I can give them without some sort of familiarity. I'm not talking "friends first" or anything, but it is unlikely that I'll be inspired to do anything profoundly romantic for someone I've only been out with once or twice. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:08:55 PM | | I received flowers in 2007 from a dear sweet friend and had no idea...I made it perfectly clear to him that I loved them and in turn I spoil him rotten with cards and such. I always make it a point to thank all of those who send me gifts and I make it a point to do the same for them. I always remember, they are not required to send me anything...so I am always thankful...... | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:21:10 PM | I agree with Cort1295. I feel natural doing things for someone only AFTER they become someone special to me. And similarly, I feel most comfortable accepting such gestures from someone only after they are someone special to me.
Some guys are going to make sweet gestures just to rise above the competition or to further their sexual agendas. Now I know that some guys are more sincere, but the fact is that it's hard to tell until someone is closer to you. I have received flowers and felt distinctly uncomfortable because I wasn't sure if the guy was expecting me to get him anything in return, or if he thought that was obligating me to behave a certain way. I HATE getting flowers early on. Unless it's my birthday or we're celebrating a personal accomplishment of mine, I think a guy should wait until we've been dating regularly. Maybe it's because I'm an INTJ, and a little too literal-minded, but it bothers me that I don't always understand the clear meaning behind specific gestures...until I know someone better, I'm not confident that they're doing something for decent reasons.
My personal favorite is to cook for someone or buy them a gift of something little or much-needed. I like to try new recipes that I think they will like. I've never felt that my cooking was all that appreciated though, so maybe I need to work on that skill. 
I once bought an office chair for a boyfriend. Okay; doesn't sound romantic, but it was given after much thought. He was initially unenthused about such a functional gift, but he later admitted that it was one of the best gifts he'd received, because it made him feel so much better and he didn't realize that's what he needed. He was always complaining about back soreness, he really liked massages, and he was a big guy who spent a lot of time sitting in a miserable little task chair. So I figured a better chair would help his back. Later, I bought him silk underwear (boxer briefs) to help with skin rashes. He seemed to appreciate the gesture, but later told me that he didn't like them because the material made him feel one step closer to wearing manties.   | |
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