| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:43:20 PM | Met someone at a house party, We had a great time chatting and getting to know one and another. She seems VERY interested. Anyway we departed and at the end of the day we said to each other to try to keep in touch. Anyways she went out of her way a few days later and got my number from someone and contacted me.
Our first date the other day was VERY lame, where she didn't seem very much like the other night. As much as I tried to humor her and have a great time, it seems like she was holding back and not very communicating. So I left with little spark and a lot of dissapointment.
Me being polite and genuine person, sent her a text message and thank her for other night and wished her a happy new year. I got 2 text masseges from her after that which kind of surprise me that if she's playing me, is seeing somebody else at the same time and accidently sent me the 1st message or really means what she says.
message 1 = "thank sweetie! I had fun too. Can't wait to see u soon"
message 2 (15 min later) = "hey thank u so much. I really enjoyed ur company. Hope we can do it again sometimes"
this is what I sent her
"Hey xxx...how you doing? just wanted 2 thank u 4 last night & wish you a happy and pleasant new year"
what throw me off is that on our date she seemed pretty bored and not much into me. And why would she send 2 texts. Was that 1st text for somebody else she accidently sent me? And I must also add that on that party night last week I saw her talking to somebody else and exchanging phone #'s toward very end. So please tell me how should I approach this.  | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:12:08 PM | was there alot of drinking goin on at the party?
I'm typically a shy person, but having a couple drinks usually loosens me up to be more social in a situation like parties or what not.
possibly she was a little tipsy the night of the party and when you went on the date the sober her is much more reserved then what you met or she relized she wasn't that into you once she met you again
however the two text thing is wierd.
reading what you sent and how she responded in both, I'm gonna guess that the first was not for you.
since the date was a dissapointment anyway, you're not losing out on much by just moving on, because I'm sure the next date won't be much different. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:17:45 PM | Sounds like she is poorly playing the hard to get card. Alcohol and not being prepared to meet YOU would most likely show her true colors.
They always say:
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Personally, you are young so no biggie but I would throw aside someone who obviously cannot stand for who they are. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:25:03 PM | Alcohol makes people bolder. Perhaps at the party she was drinking?
So what if she sent the two text messages...you still are at the nothing stage.
Who knows...it takes some people more than one date to warm up...maybe she was just shy.
Go on another date and see what happens, if you want to, that is. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:35:51 PM | Alcohol? Party atmosphere?
Maybe she was nervous being around you?
One things for sure, she's got you thinking. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:48:15 PM | Maybe she thought she sent the message and then wasn't sure, so she just typed it out another way with a little more serious undertone because she was annoyed that it might not have sent the first time.
She can't be "playing" you if you aren't together as a committed couple. It doesn't mean anything that she got someone else's number. You'd get to women's numbers in a night too.
cindi | |
|
nogo3
|
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:15:02 AM | hell she sent you two text messages wanting to date you agin, so whats your problem.
If you like her and you had fun, ask her out agin and see if things are better.
she mite have just had a bad day on the day of your date, it happens to everyone once in awhile.
 | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:08:51 PM | | Funny! I think your suspicions are correct--she went out with another guy and had a "better" time, so the first text was supposed to be for him. I personally would mention that I got that wrong text, but sort of make a joke of it. It's not like you two are exclusive after one date, anyway. If you like her, pursue the relationship knowing that she dates others; if not, don't bother. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:28:13 PM | | hmm my take on it would be the first one was her drinking and just sending the reply out, the second seems more like whoever was around her realizing what she did try to send you a more "direct" message which wouldn't sound like the first one which would be she is surely interested in you despite your experience on the date. The best way to deal with it in my opinion would be send another message on a regular work day where the chances of her drinking would be minimal and see what kind of response you get, based on the reply you get back you would be able to judge more clearly which one of her text messages would be more realistic in your mind and make your decision on how to approach this from there. What exactly to say in the new text without sounding desperate might be tricky as you know some people can take "hi how are you" as he's looking to go out with me again!. Good luck and if you decide not to do anything on the suitation so what, plenty of fish in the sea! | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:51:33 PM | One of those messages was meant for you and the other one wasn't, but we don't know which was which, though you're probably right about you not being the intended recipient of the first one.
That she was exchanging numbers with another guy at the party is nothing to sweat, because you only just met that night and she's a free agent, just like you are. And still are, because you had only one date, you're not a committed couple that either you or her have to drop everybody else, so I don't get why you think that if she's seeing someone else, that she's "playing" you.
I'm wondering how it is that YOU didn't get her number that night. You spent some time chatting, you say she seemed VERY interested, and she even mentioned staying in touch with you, and you didn't ask for her number?
So your first date didn't pan out well and since message 2 is probably the one meant for you, I wouldn't expect she's going to agree to a second date.
So you want to know how to approach this? Okay, you must be one of these guys that makes life more difficult for yourself by actually putting effort into all the wrong paths instead of the right ones, which require less thought and effort.
If you want to make sure about things, rather than ask for feedback and put a lot of thought into which text message was meant for you, just call her and ask her out. She's either going to say yes, or give you an excuse as to why she's too busy (in which case, unless she offers a date and time and not just a 'call me next week and we'll see', throw her number away). I think she's gonna blow you off, but this is the way to figure it out for sure, since you don't see the handwriting on the wall already. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:00:23 PM | Firstly, if the date was lame why do you care?
Consider that if YOU thought the date was lame and yet still like her enough to want to see her again, it's entirely possible she is thinking exactly the same thing - "I hope I didn't bore him, I want to see him again" etc etc.
Regardless, at this point the absolute best thing you can do if you want to see her again is just ASSUME she had a good time and wants to see you again. Ignore that she might be dating someone else. Why? Consider the possibilities:
1) She likes you, and met someone else too.
2) She likes you, and didn't meet someone else.
3) She doesn't like you, and met someone else.
4) She doesn't like you, and didn't meet someone else.
If 3 or 4 are true, you have zero chance of getting together with her anyway, so it makes no difference whatsoever what you do.
If 1 or 2 is true, you would gain nothing by letting on that you think she might be playing you and dating someone else too. If 1, doing so would come across as controlling and probably push her towards him rather than you, and if 2 then you'd come across as paranoid and insecure, and probably put her off.
Stop trying to over-analyse things. If you had several other girls chasing after you, would you even care if this one was seeing someone else? No. You might arrange to date her again and see how things go, but you wouldn't worry about what she was up to. Think of it as an 'abundance' mentality. The moment you get into a 'scarcity' mentality and start treating every girl as someone you *cannot afford to lose* and *must succeed with*, things will go wrong. That doesn't mean 'not showing interest' or acting aloof, but it does mean not being particularly worried about things not working out - after all, you barely know her yet.
You should approach this as if you had no idea whatsoever that she might be seeing someone else. Whether that means calling her again or waiting to see if she calls you, is up to you and whether you want to see her again. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:49:35 PM | Just to be clear...
that first text message... doesnt seem like it fits with the message you sent. The second one does. Something is weird.
| |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:23:22 PM | | Okay, it shouldn't really matter, because you two only had one date anyway (in which SHE had to chase down YOUR number), so I don't see what you're complaining about, anyway. But here's a thought that no one has mentioned yet. If a girl is affectionate with her other female friends, that first text could totally be meant for a female friend that she had just hung out with. A lot of people say "sweetie" and "hun" to all sorts of friends. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:36:52 PM | | i noticed how friendly the first txt was and the second one seemed very formal so which one was meant for you thts the question we all send a txt messege twice by accident but not two different ones sounds a bit fishy to me if your really interested in this girl ask her out again and just make a joke of it and ask which txt was meant for you see how she reacts you have to give some the benefit of the doubt if she seems bored again then you will definatley know which one was meant for you its really a case of how much you like her but at the end of the day if shes giving other fellas her number as well as you is she worth it there must be hundreds of young ladies on here for you take it from an older lady lol and experience if you have doubts dont go there best of luck to hun xxxxxx | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:32:14 PM | You didnt mention fun in your message, so my guess is that the first message was meant for someone else, the second I think was meant for you. But, 'hope we can do it again sometime' well, sometime often means never, or when she's made her mind up about the other guy, she's putting you on the back burner 'just in case'.
If Im right, then there are plenty more fish in the sea and Im sure you'll find a nicer one that is more interested in you and will want to see you again 'soon' rather than 'sometime'.
GOOD LUCK. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:50:31 PM | You can tactfully ask her. Tell her that you think you might have received a message intended for someone else and explain why.
It ain't that hard :) Gets easier and easier to skip the bullsh1t the older you get, trust me on that one.
Practice on her.
She might embarrassedly admit you're right and apologize, or she might say "No no that was for you, Sweetie."
She's got the answers though. We don't. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:44:41 PM | This is yet another example of lack of patience and the need for instant gratification, instant chemistry and instant attraction.
As previous posters have said it could also be the fact she was tipsy at the party and sober on your date and she was nervous. Nervousness gets misinterpreted as coldness many times.
Learn some patience. If you are really interested call her up and go out again. See what happens. You never know who she really is until the nervousness and shyness wears off.
It doesn't matter about the text message. It is not worth thinking about. The jist is the same, she enjoyed herself and would like to do it again. Don't sweat the details this early.
Just my 2 cents. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:55:57 AM | After reading your post I really think you are right with your kind of suspicious thoughts.
You said the date was Lame! Yes sometimes dates can be hard work but only you know what you felt inside about how things were going. If it wasnt what you expected move on. There are so many people out there and yes its hard to find the right one. I guess you could try and give it a go another time and make a decision after that.
Your asking questions now so you are stressing about it. You dont want that!!!
Hope I helped??? | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:39:24 AM | She sounds like she is young an loving all the attention,
Which isnt really wrong, but if your interested in more, and not sharing, then dont waste your time.
I'd ask her straight out about the txts, you'll get all the answers you want from her reaction. | |
|
| need your feedback on this
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:31:10 AM | Hi Specialone(oh yeh!!),
She probably didn't realise until she met you without her having a drink,how paranoid you were. The text messages were her just being mannerly,which is a lot nicer than being accused of cheating by someone you have just met. | |
|
Home
login 
