| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:37:59 PM | Well, I don't have many things to complain about women but I think this is a universal dilemna for us guys that drives us nuts......
What's up with the "silent treatment" thingy ?....hahaha
Imean, I can understand it if it happens because of a really bad infraction and it's probably a good tactic.......but, I'm sure most guys here can agree that you ladies can use this "weapon" for stuff us guys don't even know we did.........give us a break will ya's ?.......lol
So, c'mon ladies, explain how this works because you know it drives us male folk around the bend...........lol......do you ever use it without telling the guy what "rule" he broke?...I'm hoping to see some guys chime in and say "hell yeah" !...what's up with that anyhow?
Thanks in advance...   | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:44:16 PM | I've never given anyone the silent treatment - but have had a previous partner do it to me.
Sheesh, "hell yeah!"..... it is EXTREMELY frustrating. I can't stand all that passive-aggressive, immature crap. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:45:49 PM | LOL.I am quite vocal with my feelings,so I never feel a need to give a man the
"silent treatment".
Rest assured,when a man dates me,and I am bothered by something he has done,I
have no hesitation in telling him about it. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:46:57 PM | | Yeah I agree ... passive aggressive crap. Basically a person feels a need for control and things feel out of control so they are going to exercise control over what they can ... themselves. So they will refrain from talking or withhold sex or not do something else in order to inflict suffering on whomever has caused them to suffer. It is "easier" sometimes to do this by NOT doing something than by actively DOING something. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:47:57 PM |
c'mon ladies, explain how this works
You answered your own question in the same sentence..
because you know it drives us male folk around the bend
It works because you let it..
I myself love quiet time...
~Belly~ | |
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Rys_
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:49:12 PM |
Rest assured,when a man dates me,and I am bothered by something he has done,I
have no hesitation in telling him about it.
That's key. Very rarely have I come across women with that mentality/attitude. Word! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:49:59 PM | SOME women do that - SOME men do it too.
It's not nice, not fair and since most of us will 'claim' communication is one of (if not the) most important aspects of a Good / Healthy relationship, what does it say when one partner shuts down that communication?
Not a "game" for this Adult. Either we talk or someone walks.
A.S.is
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:50:04 PM | Oh gawd I have...cross my arms ...pout my lips ...squint my eyes
Why??? Because you allow it to work that's why
We just can't win can we... yak too much it bugs ya ... don't talk at all it bothers you... | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:51:40 PM | It really is very frustrating to be on the recieving end, I'll agree with that. I've had it done to me often, so its not just women.
Although I will readily admit I've done this on occasion, but only after I've tried to explain what I was upset about...sometimes its the only way to really make the other person realize you're serious.At least that was what happened in my situation...never really worked anyway, if they don't listen when you talk, they sure as hell won't get it when you're not talking...
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:59:03 PM | To me the silent treatment is a sign of immaturity (and is not restricted to either gender) - they are trying to punish you by denying you - but all they really end up doing is damaging the relationship through neglect. Closing someone off doesn't fix problems, it just makes them feel unloved and unrespected.
To have a successful relationship communication needs to be open at all times so that if something isn't working it can be discussed and options negotiated to avoid future problems. Also keep in mind that you may have to have this discussion again in the future to reinforce the importance of this topic. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:00:22 PM | The question can only be why one, specific person applies the "silent treatment" (or whatever passive-aggressive **** slap) on one, specific occasion. These nonsense threads that pose "girls vs. boys" generalizations are fraudulent on their face. I certainly share almost nothing in common with OPie. Every other man is plenty different from both of us as well. Same goes for women.
Any fool who posits a throughline that explains all male or female behavior either has not met enough people to form an opinion or has not paid attention when meeting them. If you want to know why Gladys won't talk to you, then ask Gladys. No one here has any idea, and why should we?
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:00:50 PM | lol......great responses so far......I find that when a woman ends the "campaign of silence", they usually say....."I just wanted to see if you cared"......lol......oh man, you women know what cards to play when you have to....lmao!
I don't mind the silent treatment as long as you ladies say what we did wrong !....cause most times we don't even know we broke a rule.....lol
and as far as guys doing the silent treatment?......that only happens when NFL football os on the tube.....it's born into us....lol | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:05:49 PM | | ToMessage # 13.......lighten up.....sheesh!..I just thought it would be a fun thread to start the New Year off......if I needed to be psycho-analyzed, I'd consult with my three teenaged daughters......they can bring me to my knees in tears the way they point out my faults......EVERY DAY!......lmao! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:10:58 PM | Well, I have never used the silent treatment on anyone because...well, (a) I'm not the silent type; and (b) I don't play games (except Chess and board games). However, I might add that I've been at the other end of the spectrum. I speak my mind; if I have something to say or question, I say so. I find that there are quite a few men who can't handle that. I've actually been told to "state half an opinion." That is one of the most ignorant things anyone has ever said to me. Think about it - one either has an opinion or doesn't. There is no in between. Geesh!
I've also been hung up on because I had my doubts about what a guy was doing, so I asked him. I did not "scold," I did not whine - I just asked, as I feel if I am seeing you in any way, shape or form, it's my right (and yours) to ask what's going on if you are wondering. Apparently I was under the mistaken impression I was dealing with an adult. And no, we are not talking about a 20 year old; we are talking about a 50+ guy. So, what do you do? Be quiet - we're pouting; speak our minds - well, that doesn't work either  | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:11:59 PM | Well if we have to tell you what YOU did you should know what you did fathead!
Just teasin' you actually I don't give the silent treatment ...I just withhold sex
I gotta question for you ...why do you give them the power to treat you that way? If I was a guy I would go to the bar..ha! Me time is good! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:13:05 PM | it's called 'emotional blackmail'.
it's a tactic that's employed in order to get the recipient to comply in favorable fashion.
this happens time and again. and once the 'emotional blackmailer' becomes accustomed to what your 'hot buttons' are, the person in question will continue to push them in order to control you; be it consciously or unconsciously.
most important: the more you give in, the more you are reinforcing this type of behavior.
if she is too immature to speak about the issue, she is too immature to be in a relationship.
but if she specifically requests a little time to think things over, this is perfectly acceptable; and in most cases the healthiest approach to maturely address a serious issue. it gives you both some time to 'objectively' sort out the various components of the issue in question. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:16:54 PM | This happend to me once....the silent treatment.
I later found out that she had laryngitis.......
I said to her, " Why didn't you tell me?"........
She just looked at me........and extended her middle finger towards my face.....
Amazing...how you can get your message across without saying anything | |
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16f84a
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Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 20 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:18:21 PM | Yeah I hear that! I like the one where I'm asking hey whats wrong, after a nice quiet afternoon has gone a bit further and ventured into uncomfortable silence. To get the response I'm not telling YOU, YOU would wouldn't understand.
Yeah, of course I'm not going to get it if its not explained to me, I don't read minds here, that why I ask questions.
I could be very wrong here, but it seems like the punishments people pick reflect that they think would be just awful. Like I could live without talking, This week I think i have vocalized less than 1000 words, most of which were morning salutations and giving of thanks to those providing services I'm grateful for. A few months ago i had a co-worker who would trump that figure several times daily, I'm certain. Words would flow from her like water from a river. And strangely enough, for those that annoyed her to the point of no return she would give them the silent treatment. I would think communicating explicitly the the exact nature of the problem would be more conducive to solution. But what do i know. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:18:32 PM | I scoff at silent treatment, as all that equates to is peace & quiet in my books!
Worst comes to worst OP, feel free to use my patented Ultimate Cure for the "dreaded" Silent Treatment:
"Well Honey I think it's time I head out the door to meet/date someone new/more attractive since there are no objections and..."
And watch how quickly the obscenities fly out of her/his mouth... Problem solved! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:46:10 PM | lol..good one Tiger Woods!.....hahaha
And to Indigo Rose? (nice name by the way).....why do we keep falling for it?....well, we swear that we won't let it bother us the next time......but it's a bad habit we get into.....it goes like this....Hun?....what's wrong ???.............(response: nothing) !!.........wellhunnnnnn, something's wrong!...........(response: nothing !!).........silence.......chirp, chirp <------dreadful sound on crickets
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:20:23 PM | I find that I announce why I'm angry, THEN I do the silent treatment (if he didn't quite respond). Hee. At least he's never confused.
But I hate when I get the drop in contact for no conceivable reason. It drives me bonkers. And why it works is because it's punishment by withdrawing something good (their loving attention). It's like a child with a parent's affection- they'll do anything to get it back again. And in the meantime, your girl (or guy) gets to have all this attention lavished on them while they pick and choose when they feel like giving you some loving back.
It's sucky, but it's been going on for eons. You can either deal with it, or you can find someone who communicates better and looks for a solution rather than immediate and swift punishment. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:20:48 PM | | I don't "give the silent treatment", but I DO keep silent, otherwise I'd say something that would REALLY, REALLY HURT. There is no passive side to my aggression. Sometimes you just have to leave someone ALONE, "Well, since you don't want to talk right now, if there's anything I can do for you, let me know." That puts the onus of contact on THEM. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:31:06 PM | I'd rather be quiet than say something i'd regret later.
words can cut like a sword and I know i can say things that will cause a wound to never heal.
so in my defense the silent treatment is to protect you, really. I'm looking out for you :) Cause if I opened my big mouth when i'm angry you'd hate me forever.
so relish and enjoy the silent treatment. I will talk to you when I have something nice to say.
like "honey, you know you make me giggle when you are being such an ass"...
ok i'm kidding
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