| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:09:16 PM | In reading through posts from many women,I get the impression that many of them think that how the female mind is wired and how women relate to sex is somehow more "refined" or "creative" or "imaginative",and I hear words like,"deeper,more intimate" and "hotter".
OK let's compare it.Men like graphic visuals.Breasts and vaginas and the basic mechanics of sex.Men tend to relate to sex and women the same way they relate to everything else.Their cars,their stereos,their plasma TV's,whatever."Have you seen Joe's wife?Great rack!""Seen Bill's truck?Nice engine!"Thus the dreaded objectification syndrome.If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal.
Women OTOH talk about intimacy and connection.Feelings.Romance.Is this really better,or is it just different.
In a long term relationship,I like both.The intimacy and romance is fine,but when it's whoopie time, I want my woman to be the wanton porn star in the sack.There's a time and place for everything.
I really don't think one view of sex is better than the other,they're just different. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:17:55 PM |
In my opinion,male and female sexuality is equal.
Do you mean equal in value or equal with likes,dislikes,how they relate to the opposite,etc?I don't know of too many women,even discreetly who talk about guys the same way men talk about women.How many women have you heard say,"Did you see the bulge in that guy's jeans,I bet he's hung like horse!" | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:26:35 PM |
I get the impression that many of them think that how the female mind is wired and how women relate to sex is somehow more "refined" or "creative" or "imaginative",and I hear words like,"deeper,more intimate" and "hotter".
Im always astounded that men think women are not able to behave in exactly the same way some men do. We are just as able to be driven by our desires in any form we want.
Some of us either do...or do not choose to behave this way.
If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal.
Umm...nah...never seen a guy objectify a mates wife/gf (past 25 yrs old)...in the same context as he'd would over a plasma...he'd be likely to cop a smack in the mouth.
Its a boundary you dont cross because people do take it personally and most of all IMO an intelligence and class thing, not a male/female thing.
Same as you dont verbalise that you think a mates daughter is the hottest piece of ass you've ever seen. You just dont do it.
In a long term relationship,I like both.The intimacy and romance is fine,but when it's whoopie time, I want my woman to be the wanton porn star in the sack.There's a time and place for everything.
Always remember being told...a man wants a lady in the house and a wh0re in the bedroom.
Women (well me personally) want a gentleman in the house, at work & in public and Mr Get-Ur-Freak-On in the privacy of our own home. Absolutely nowhere else. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:31:57 PM | | oh ya.men do objectify there buddies.if you ever saw a group of guys together bonding you would here some of the most objectifying things you have ever heard.its the way men say i love you man to another man.the more we can objectify each other the more it says i love you.dont ask a man to admit it that way though.lol. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:32:25 PM | | OP women are more inclined than men to see sex as a form of closeness and intimacy. That isn't to say that all women can't appreciate sex as just sex, and all men see women as just a form of sexual relief but it is more general for women to see sex as some form of deeper attachment. You have to remember that women are brought up with the ideal of finding a man to care for them, and to sleep with lots of men would be considered sluttish, whereas men are brought up to believe they should sow their oats untill they find the RIGHT woman, therefore, women are more likely to want to become attached to a person once they have sex with them. Some women find it hard to understand why men are different and can see sex on two different levels, sex as sex, and sex as togetherness. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:39:11 PM |
If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal. Women OTOH talk about intimacy and connection.Feelings.Romance.
This either comes from mainstream media or forums, not from real life. Men aren't nearly so objectifying (ok well maybe so) but women definitely aren't so much romance-crazed in real life.
In reality, there's nothing "refined" about a hard **ck, wet p----, slurpy sounds, bedroom groans or just about anything else related to sexuality. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:55:12 PM | It's almost impossible to take the cultural/social component out of sex. Women are conditioned by SOCIETY to not want it (so they say) or they're sluts. Men are conditioned by society to ALWAYS want it, or they're fags. It's all stupid, but humans are social animals, so it matters.
Both sexes like the same things--but to differing degrees. Both are visual, just to differing degrees. Both are sensual, just to differing degrees. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:53:22 PM | Are we not all born with a sexuality ? I think the better is sensuality. Some men, expecially
Italians have a stronger touchy feely urge than other races. Maybe women come to bed with
their emotions and men with their ummm small heads. There is a difference between the
sexes but to pin point it out.......is difficult. Are we women more refined , it all depends on
the mood. To be honest........I forget. lol | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:09:07 PM | Oh boy - this is a can of worms!
Um each guy and gal are different but at the risk of explaining sterotypes men tend to compartmentalize sex more. Women tend to want to "connect" on an emotional and psychological, even spiritual level more than men do, in my experiences. Some men need this as much as women do and some women don't need it at all. However I have found the best experiences are when I can connect with someone on all levels and vice versa, anything else just feels- underdeveloped.
peace | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:04:48 PM |
If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal.
I agree. Often times this objectification isn't done out of malice, but a real appreciation of the "goods".. be it a car, tv or a set of breasts.
Women do it, too, but I think we word ours differently.
Same as you don't verbalize that you think a mates daughter is the hottest piece of ass you've ever seen.
Thinking it, while not verbalizing out of politeness or classiness.. is still objectifying, though. So the theory (is it a theory?) still applies pretty well.
This either comes from mainstream media or forums, not from real life.
I don't know about that. I don't think we can help but objectify half the time. We intellectually know that guys, for example aren't objects for us to ogle and/or play with (and I mean sexually.. not play with as messing with their heads).. but that doesn't stop us from wanting to.. we just don't because it'd be crass. Either to verbalize it or to do it.
I'm not saying it's good or bad to objectify, but I do think we can't really help doing so.. we can help following the impulse up, however. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:10:34 PM | They're very different and often end up being the causes of arguments. I had this same conversation with my bf a few days ago as follows:
Men fantasize about all different women all the time... where as women *usually* fantasize about their lover or someone they have a strong EMOTIONAL connection to. This we feel insulted because you're imagining this gorgeous woman we could never be, yet you'd be insulted if we compared you to a man who was all around your superior because it diminishes your masculinity. It just plain sucks. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:16:27 PM |
where as women *usually* fantasize about their lover or someone they have a strong EMOTIONAL connection to.
I almost never do that. I fantasize about what I don't have at my fingertips. I fantasize a lot more like how I imagine men do. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:54:13 PM | I don't think "refined" is the right word..."different" would be.
Go to a male strip show once and just watch how refined women are...lol.
I think we women tend to hide our true sexual feelings for fear of being branded a slut, whore, etc. And that happens often...if a woman is overtly sexual, she gets labelled (usually by other women, but by some men, as well).
I think if you could delve into the average female mind, you'd be scared of what you'd find. Many of us are just as horny and have the same objectification thoughts as men do...we just don't want you to know that (damn you for making me say it!).
I do think that women tend to bring emotion into even one-night stands. We want to be treated as if we AREN'T slutty, as if the man we're with is there because he wants to be with us only. It can't be helped sometimes. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:08:06 AM | I don't think "refined" is the right word..."different" would be.
I agree.Yet in talking to some women,you would get the impression that many women believe their sense of sexuality is more "refined" or somehow superior.The fact that men like to look at graphic porn(like one poster said,"I don't get all the breasts and vagis") or they want their SO to masturbate so they can watch,or they fantasize about FFM threesomes.In reading many forums,a lot of women react with disgust and use the old,"men are pigs" stereotype because of the way we are.
Years ago a woman I was dating at the time wanted to go with me to a strip club out of curiosity.She was aghast at how "lewd" they were and I said,"What were you expecting,art gallery type nudity?This is how most men relate to their sexuality".This woman was in her thirties at the time.
Women are conditioned by SOCIETY to not want it (so they say) or they're sluts.
I believe social conditioning is only part of the answer.There are major brain chemistry difference in the sexes.For instance,as I understand during sex,the main chemical for the woman is oxytocin,which is the same chemical associated with feelings of bonding. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:29:09 AM | | I think that once a man and woman find the one they want to show thier full respect and full devotion to - that division in how they view sexuality becomes less prevalent. In reality I think that the sexes are more similar than different - it's only the expression of that to others that is different - due to the fact that women have reason to protect their virtue! | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:00:44 AM | The objectification side of this thread really deserves its own conversation. On that end, I would say that 99% of the issue is a really simple misscommunication: When women say they don't want to be "objectified", most of the time there is an unspoken "only" added to the mix.
We men don't always add it (some do, let's be honest) when we see women through a sexual lens, but women nearly always tack it on internally. To many women being a sex object at all is exactly the same as being ONLY a sex object. Not many men feel the same way. I daresay that very few women want to be thought of as the sister of the person they might marry and spend the rest of their life with.
On some level everyone wants to be viewed sexually. The problem comes in when that "only" appears in the mix, either because it truly is how the man sees her, or it is how she feels even when the man sees her as a companion, confidant, mother-to-his-children, friend, partner-in-crime, source of "homeness" and all the rest.
You see the "unspoken only" dynamic very clearly when you look at all the arguments on these forums about men being upset that women say "must not have messaged looking for intimate encounter" on their profile. So many men don't understand that to women that filter means sex is still possible--just not a relationship that is ONLY sex. The men think, "oh noes what's with all these women who never want to have sex for the rest of their lives!" and the women are thinking, "I don't want a one-night-stand". Cracks me up every time I see it. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:36:51 AM |
If men objectify women,it's because they objectify everything,so don't take it personal.
This is one of the best explantions I've ever seen for what happens in guys head.
Same as you don't verbalize that you think a mates daughter is the hottest piece of ass you've ever seen.
Thinking it, while not verbalizing out of politeness or classiness.. is still objectifying, though. So the theory (is it a theory?) still applies pretty well.
Totally applies. We just don't *say* anything out of respect for you (as a woman we find attractive) or our buddy who's wife or daughter we find attractive. Still happens and it doesn't mean we don't respect and admire "the objectified" for many other qualities.
I had this moment this morning actually. There's an analyst in my company's FP&A group that is fantastically gorgeous. I have to consciously resist the inclination to watch her walk past my desk, which she does regularly. I also admire the fact that she's *very* intelligent and accomplished in her position (which very well may be part of the attraction). She regularly makes my job easier and I appreciate everything she does professionally. She doesn't need to know that I sneak glances of her twitch when she goes to get a snack. I understand that the respectful relationship we have would be ruined.
Is that so hard for women to understand? | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:00:47 PM |
Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male ?
Are you asking someone in particular? Because if you've read comments that made you ask this question generally, it seems that you are taking certain people with their thoughts and expanding that onto someone else that you know nothing about.
My answer is to the topic question is...of course not.
More gender generalizing...blah, blah, blah.
One on one....
One on one...
One on one....
No expections....
No preconcieved notions.... | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:04:12 PM | Are you asking someone in particular?
No.The question is aimed generally.Therefore the generalizations.What's so wrong with generalizing?I have sense enough to know that people are individuals and it's not my intention to paint one gender,one race,one nationality,whatever with a broad brush.But there are very sound sociological reasons why stereotypes exist,and whether or not anyone wants to admit it or not,men and women (generally speaking) think and feel differently about different things,sex included.This is due to differences not only sociological,but physiological as well.A woman's body has a different function than a man's,therefore,it stands to reason that there are different chemicals in the brain at work,different neurohormones and such and this will be partially responsible for emotional differences and such.Add the social differences in and we have the current mess we now enjoy. | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:44:02 PM | I agree with the in general, generalizations are generally not specific enough. So sue me.
In general women do not go around horny or hungry, and mostly horny, for most of the time. I'm glad I had a big brother who patiently explained "man" to me. Otherwise, I might truly hate men, in general with that my gosh, is sex and once in a while food all they ever think about? "Yes" he said. Everything is a crotch and we're stuck like that. Then I felt sorry for them all. So, I went around for a week, trying to make out a crotch, boob, prick, balls, and ass in everything. My goodness, what an exhausting, frustrating, and daunting task. I am so glad I am not stuck like that, you poor thing.
Supposedly, the average and healthy male libido thinks about sex every 6 seconds. I don't know how they do that but no wonder why they get so hungry. I couldn't live like that. Sex is not an obsessive preoccupation with me or with a lot of women. Try not thinking about it constantly?
Comparisons don't work for me. It's trying to identify. Would you want to be a woman? Why or why not? | |
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| Do you really believe female sexuality is more refined than male?
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:24:27 PM |
Supposedly, the average and healthy male libido thinks about sex every 6 seconds
Urban legend?I don't think I thought about sex that often even when I was a teenager so I must be way below average.I don't think it's so much about how often,I mean I don't think about sex when I'm driving unless maybe I stop at a traffic light and a hot woman crosses the street.It's more that we think about sex when there is a stimuli.I see an attractive woman,sure I think of her sexually at first sight and wonder about what she looks like naked and such,but I don't go around with a tent in my pants 24/7.
Would you want to be a woman? Why or why not?
Might be an interesting experiment,if by some magical means I could be a woman for 24 hours,I'm sure the experience would give me great wisdom and insight.I was checking my email once after a female friend of mine logged off.She inadvertendtly left her IM's on,and to add insult to injury her screen name was a little suggestive.I had barely sat down when I was flooded with IM's from horn dogs.I got a little insight about what it's like to be harrassed.I'm afraid I couldn't handle that pressure,I would go postal.But then maybe if I were really a woman,with a woman's brain and "soul",I would feel somewhat differently.After all,it is somewhat complimentary attention.They wouldn't come on like that if you looked like George Bush in drag.
Maybe one day I might create a fake woman's profile and put it on a dating site just to see what I get.
I have a friend who was born hermaphrodite.He/she was born externally male and grew up as a male,but had 70% female organs internally.Later in life he/she decided to become completely female.She says the life experience of living as both sexes was tough,but it gave her great wisdom.
Would you like to live as a man? | |
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