| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:33:32 PM | | I have been on POF on and off for awhile now, and I recently had an experience that leaves me confused. I met a man (Lawyer) who, in his profile, stated his age to be 54. Upon meeting, he told me he was 56. He asked me out and when I questioned him as to why he had lied about his age on his profile he told me he was actually 57. So he lied to me twice. He said it is vanity and the fact that he wants to attract a younger women. What he in fact did, was not allow me to make a decision based on true facts. In his profile he states very clearly he is honest. What are people so dishonest? I am losing faith... | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:45:27 PM | People think that if they fudge details to get past your criteria and you spend time with them, you'll forgive them for what they lied for because they were so wonderful.
Strange concept to me, because what it does is show you they have no regard for what you want, and they're deceptive to get what they want. 
It never works, and strangely enough - on top of it all many of them are shocked by it. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:46:42 PM | | OP, there is only one answer to this, some people have double standards, and they expect someone to put up with their 'little white lies' but they are not prepared to tollerate them from other people. It's a sheer form of blindness to their own dishonesty IMO, and the blinder they are, usually the more dishonest. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:59:51 PM |
It never works, and strangely enough - on top of it all many of them are shocked by it.
Oh yes it does. I know a woman who started talking to a guy who's profile pictures were total fakes. After getting to know him on the phone, he finally admitted it to her, she forgave him for it, and wound up dating him for quite some time. Of course now there's a restraining order...lol!
Mark
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:04:05 PM | Same reason guys lie about hair color or even having hair at all or women who are "a few pounds over weight" when in actuality are 50 or 100 lbs over weight.
I'm guessing they hope you'll like their personalities enough to date them and discount the little white lie. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:09:22 PM |
Oh yes it does. I know a woman who started talking to a guy who's profile pictures were total fakes. After getting to know him on the phone, he finally admitted it to her, she forgave him for it, and wound up dating him for quite some time. Of course now there's a restraining order...lol!
Who's restraining order is it? lmao. It just goes to show, if you don't take notice of what sticks out in front of your nose then you're going to bump into something nasty. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:17:52 PM | I have a question for you, OPie. What else did the fellow lie to you about? Was it only his age, or did he go on lying about his car and his dog and his diet and his taste in music and - what else? Or does one fault forfeit the match on your court? I'm wondering if he got the chance to tell you the truth about anything else.
I have another question, come to think of it. What did you decide not to put in your profile, and then not to tell the fellow, about yourself, that might have persuaded him to give you a pass? Or are you above vanity, yourself?
Geez, I have another. I'm on a roll! OPie, if you want someone who is always utterly candid with you, why did you go out with a lawyer? Weren't you asking for it?
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:20:28 PM |
What he in fact did, was not allow me to make a decision based on true facts. In his profile he states very clearly he is honest. Wh[y] are people so dishonest? I am losing faith...
Well, I can answer your question succinctly. You asked why he was dishonest and claimed his age was 54 in his profile. He did so so that he could contact you in the first place, since your restrictions don't allow contact from anyone older than 54.
I'm not saying he was right, and I *do* think you have every right to kick him to the curb for lying about it. But you asked why he did it, and that's the very simple answer why. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:49:26 PM | | DallasFlier, I in fact was the one to contact him! I believe that honesty is the cornerstone to a relationship.. if you aren't honest in your profile, what does that say about you? Check my profile out, any questions? It is honest and up to date. If you want to know anything else just ask. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:53:12 PM | Is 3 years a really big deal? I could understand if it was 8 or 10...that's a lot of years to hide.
I don't have my real age posted on here. I haven't come across a guy who cared that I don't have my true age posted. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:58:46 PM |
Is 3 years a really big deal? I could understand if it was 8 or 10...that's a lot of years to hide.
I don't have my real age posted on here. I haven't come across a guy who cared that I don't have my true age posted.
I don't think it's so much the age as the fact that if people are prepared to lie about their age, what else are they prepared to lie about? anyone with integrity would NOT lie about their age, and some people value integrity. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:03:00 PM | | I personally wouldn't lie about my age or anything else for that matter! I don't really see the point as the truth will come out eventually. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:05:08 PM | I accidentally made myself older on my profile.
But I might be tempted to shave a few years off my age on my internet profile because I don't look as old as my years. People assume I'm 34-35.
Most men my age would reject me for being 40 +, due to dating site search engine restrictions. Many men in my age bracket (39-46) are looking for a woman 25-35. If they met me in real life (i.e not via the internet), they'd never guess my exact age.
Your man's exact age, somewhere between 54-57 isn't such a big deal. Had you met in real life, you'd probably guess him to be in his 50's and leave it at that.
I think that's one problem with internet dating-- you know exact info about a people that isn't really important. And then you're able to, either consciously or due to the matching criteria you select, reject them. The internet is forcing people to bend the truth because of that.
I wouldn't be too concerned about him fudging on his age-- but the bit about being vain and wanting younger women is a turn-off because it makes him sound insecure. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:10:52 PM | anyone with integrity would NOT lie about their age, and some people value integrity. I am a person with a great deal of integrity and it's a quality I value highly. However, if someone chooses not to divulge their real age that's their business. I think this is more about not being able to trust people not their lack of integrity. There are far important things that people lie about and should be deal breakers in a relationship. Shaving 3 years off one's age? That's not a big deal. Totally insignificant and trivial.
By the way, most people assume that I am between the late twenties to mid-thirties. Lying about my age saves me a lot of public embarassment because a lot people have no manners and like to tell anyone within hearing how old I really am. I hate that! | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:15:26 PM |
I think that's one problem with internet dating-- you know exact info about a people that isn't really important.
Well, it can definitely feel a bit awkward sometimes, because you know a LOT of things that you wouldn't normally know just going out and looking for someone. Before you meet face to face you know their ambitions, what they like to do in their spare time, whether or not they want to have children, what their sexual likes and dislikes are, and what their sexual history is. Walk into a bar and pick someone up, and you don't know jack about them.
It's certainly a whole new ballgame now. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:27:47 PM | | ^^^^^^^Yes but the man did divulge his age, and he lied about it, and then continued to lie about it, and yet you are saying the OP shouldn't be bothered by it because it was only a few years. What I am saying is anyone who VALUES integrity would have a problem with that. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:40:24 PM | When one lies about anything, that sets the stage for trouble right off. I have gone out with women who told me the were divorced. Nope. Seperated. I have gone out with women that told me they did not smoke. Only when they were around me. I was born at night, but it was not last night. Everything i put in my profile is true. I am 44, i am thin, i am a private pilot, etc. No one who contacts me can say i lied to them. Now, the rest of me, one will have to date me to find that out. But that is part of the fun of it, eh?  | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:40:52 PM | | I'd say the Op was doing the guy a very big favour by discounting him/judging him for this . Sounds like a good way to weed out all the uptight people ! | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:41:07 PM | I think it is perfectly understanding why he lied....he is a guy and a lawyer!!!...lol.
Couldn't resist....actually the age isn't the issue.....but if it creates a pattern of lying...then that is the problem. I agree with a prior post.......before you accuse anyone of lying...be sure that you've not stretched the truth. I don't think it is very smart to be so restrictive in your age range.......some 40 year olds act like 60 and vice versa. My profile says from 40-70......just so that it doesn't exclude anyone that I might find interesting. JMO
Becca | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:41:21 PM | Who knows...maybe he just wanted to add intrigue...let himself out slowly, verses laying it all out....not so black n white...show his own particular sense of humor
funny, I thought this was a 'woman's (only) prerogative'...times are a changeing...or am I just catching on
As a lawyer, he has the ability to...manipulate or lays out truth as he sees it? | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:43:21 PM | Sorry, P-Pooch, but the only people who will care are the Gotcha players, the scorekeepers and judgment mongers.
The rest of us take people as they come, and you know what? We find that, once people know they are accepted, their defenses start to come down, along with whatever exaggerations and distortions they've relied upon theretofore to feel safe. I suspect that anyone who meets you, and hears you claim to speak for "anyone who VALUES integrity," will add a few more fibs to their repertoire, just to be extra safe. Hasn't anyone ever cut your humanity a little slack?
Cheese!
Vulf | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:54:23 PM | For the same reason people lie about weight. They think themselves clever or are delusional. I guess both apply.
Ask a woman her age. Always 5 years less than reality after 36. Same thing with weight.
It's all relative. I'm the smallest one in our group on buffet Wednesdays at the hungry heffer. So I'm either petite or average.
Note to self. Change weight on profile. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:04:23 PM | ^^Good point. 
There are some people on here who shave a couple (or 10) years for "search purposes". I myself could give a rip and flat out refuse to lie about my age.  | |
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