| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:17:33 PM | I was wondering if anyone else has encountered that most parents past 40 usually have older children and don't want to be involved in parenting a younger child, and younger single dads with small children usually are not interested in dating women older than themselves.
Are there any men here in WA that would consider dating a 40+ woman with a 4 year old child?
Happy fishing to all! | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:00:29 AM | | I'm actually doing that right now. She's 42 and has a 4 year old girl. Personally I have no problem dating a woman with a child, whether that child is younger or older. The thing that turns me off is if the woman has hardly any free time to date because of the child. If it takes an act of God to create some free time for a date, then I lose interest quickly. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:28:33 PM | Nice to hear from you, Rob.
I understand that you would lose interest if it was hard to get a date, single mom or not. I find that when I am interested in a person, there are always ways to share a cup of tea, ice cream, a walk, a bookstore. Location isn't as important as enjoying good company.
I wish you luck with your new friend, and keep us updated! | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:49:43 PM | | I think that any parent that is 40 years old and has a young child faces big dating challenges. An adult that is 40 years old usually has children that are old enough to "babysit" them selves. Look at all the profiles of 40 year olds and see "All My Kids Are Over 18", or they dont have children. Its unusual for adults to have a child at 40 and even more unusual for them to be single parents. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:23:50 PM | | I agree it's unusual, and it's definitely a challenging situation. Then again, many women are having children well into their 30's and even their early 40's these days. From my perspective it matters little. If the woman has the time to date, and is truly interested in trying to make something happen, then I'm absolutely fine with it. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:46:19 AM | ^Thank you for your answer. I am glad you have such a positive outlook. I am sure that being a single parent with a young child or children will become increasingly more common. I do agree that it seems rather unusual at this time. I wonder how many older single male parents are out there too?
Happy
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:12:36 PM | Hello Fairsong,
I was so glad to see your post. I am in the same position, that being over 40 and having an 8 yr old. I am fortunate to have an x husband that helps out 50% of the time so getting away for dating has not been so much of a problem for me. What has been a problem at times is others perceptions of an older women having a child at this age. I find this dissapointing although a reality. To each his own although judgements of others are harsh at times.
My best to you. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:21:11 PM | Hi Niche,
I am so glad to hear from you. I agree that some people don't appreciate the fact that being actively involved with a young child keeps a body, heart and mind limber and flexible.
I know that I for one would have never appreciated the miracle of nurturing an unfolding young life with such intensity if I had been a mother in my early 20's.
I believe that being a mother at my age has made me more a more compassionate and understanding person, and has certainly helped me develop patience and a sense of humor. I feel blessed and humble to have been bestowed the responsability of being a parent at this time of my life.
Please feel free to email me anytime.
I am sure that you will find a wonderful person that will appreciate your sterling qualities very soon.
Regards | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/7/2008 12:09:01 PM | Glad to see this post as well. I have a 5 year old and will be turning 40 this year. My son was what you would call an unexpected blessing. Unfortunately the marriage ended, leaving me with joint custody with my ex husband. It is a challenge dating as a single parent, however 50 % of the time, I am available.
I am so glad that I became a parent when I did, I am much more stable mentally and emotionally now that in my 20's. I do work extra hard taking care of my physical health to keep up with him, and of course to be around for him for a long, long time! The benefit to that is I have a high level of energy based on how I take care of myself. I make wise decisions, and spend time with people that truly interest me and are of like mind.
The way I see it, there are many people that will appreciate these qualities, and if they don't......I'll just keep fishing. Something is not necessarily better than nothing. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:38:21 PM | ^ Your statement, "Something is not necessarily better than nothing" is very true, yet I believe that somewhere there is a kindred spirit for us...Jus't haven't met him yet!
A good week to you, dmunn | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:32:09 PM | I wouldn't say that it's "unusual". I would say that it tends to be an American thing that you graduate highschool and start a family right away.
It does tend to seperate people into the two camps of:
1. made a family right out of the gate, then tried to get themselves in order.
2. focused on getting themselves in order (education carreer), and then looked to make a family.
I'm not going to make a judgement call either way about which is better. I'll just say that each camp has it's issues, and it really depends on what you want from a partner. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:06:28 AM | ^Although I have found women like myself that had children past their fourties, and it seems to be an increasingly common occurence due to
# 2 of your post, it is rather annoying that some people to automatically assume that I am Grandma when they see me walking with my daughter.  | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/12/2008 1:00:08 PM | | I wouldn't necessarily rule it out. I don't want to say no to what could be an incredible relationship. On the other hand, I've already raised kids and my plans for the rest of my life would have to be drastically altered to include a child. I was married to a woman who had 3 kids. I was fourth in her life. I'm not ****ing about it, I knew it going in. I just don't know if I want to take a back seat anymore. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/16/2008 5:36:34 PM | Fairsong, I'm sad to say I've done that with a client. (I'm a network engineer by the way)
She was a 60 something that waited until her late 30's to start a family, and she had a great volume of pictures of her late highschool/early college brood all over her office.
I REALLY felt like a heel when I asked her where the pics of the grandkid's parents were and she replied "you're looking at her".
Luckily she had a great sense of humor, and we ended up talking about her kids and situation for a while. In the end it helped strenghten the relationship, but it still took me a while to get the taste of shoe leather out of my mouth.
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/16/2008 6:57:56 PM | A LOT of women are waiting till later in life to have kids. It's something that is not really rare anymore.
I didn't have my boy till I was 31, he's going to be 10 soon and can't babysit himself yet. People just have to deal with it if they want to date me. If they can't, whatever. No loss on my end. I only like to deal with compassionate humans. Not selfish ones. | |
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| Woman 40+ with young child
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:04:35 AM | Vaxplant, that is such a funny description!
If you are an older parent, believe me...you will develop a sense of humor!
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