| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:32:49 PM | Ok..here it goes. I just recently started seeing a girl and we hit it off right away. One day we were making out and I started to move my hands under her shirt and she pulled away. She was red in the face and looked like she was about to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she told me, "Sorry but I've never done this before." I then asked her, "Are you a virgin." She nodded her head and I could see her start to cry. She then walked to the door of my apt. and said, "I better leave. I'll understand if you don't want to see me again. If I gave you the wrong idea I'm sorry." I rushed over to the door and told her it was ok and that I was fine if she wanted to wait. She looked at me like she was debating if I was lying or not. I then hugged her and said, "Come on just stay, we'll cuddle and watch a movie." I could tell she wasn't going too, so I brought out the puppy dog eyes. She then stayed and we did just that, cuddled and watched a movie. I really like this girl and I couldn't have been more happy.
Now my question is guys, would you leave the girl or stick around? I'd stick around. And girls, what do you think?? Is she up tight or is she doing the right thing by standing her ground and not doing something that she isn't ready for.
Before I head off I'm just gonna put something out there and tell me if you feel the same. I think that a girl who is still a virgin is awesome. To me it shows that she's waiting for the guy and that she considers that something special and she just wants to show the man who she will be marrying that he was just that special that she waited for him. The guy won't have to worry about STD's and his girl won't have a bad rep. I think this kind of girl could be really trusted. And it just shows that there is something different about the girl......a good different I think. I don't see it as a big deal. Personally sex is the last thing on my mind. Why are girls who want to keep it, usually the ones who never have a bf?? Is it because that us guys only think with our****?? Girls what do you think of this?? Or why is it so bad if a guy wants to keep his too?? Just a question. Please give me some feed back on this. Hehe.....I know I'm going to get a lot of "your gay" but oo well. I know I'm not and that I actually care about my lady. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:37:22 PM | Sex is on your mind "you don't have to worry about std's,or this girl having a bad rep".
If you respect her wishes to be a virgin,then that is great.
But you don't sound all that respectful to me,especially when you assume you are going to be the one who is going to take away her virginity.
Edit: And just because a girl is not a virgin,does not mean she doesnt respect her body.
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:03:12 PM | | Sorry my bad. No I really do respect her. Yeah I worded this wrong. I'm not expecting to be the one to take it away. Especially since she's waiting for marriage. It's way to early in the relationship to tell if that's where were going LOL. I never meant to say that women who aren't virgins don't respect their body. Sex is the last thing on my mind tho, I was just pointing out something. To me sex is over rated. Dont' get me wrong, I like it a lot, but it don't have to the basis for a relationship. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:07:24 PM | If your only goal is to take the virginity, then I'd say hit the road. If you're looking for long-term, possibly marriage, then I would say stick around. But yes, respect her... always.
Sort of off topic.... I once knew a guy who married a girl, JUST because he wanted to take the girl's virginity. The marriage didn't last long; he cheated on her. How selfish is that??!! | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 2:35:14 AM |
If you respect her wishes to be a virgin,then that is great
Well OP....if you really care for this girl and you have total respect for her morals....well good on you.
Take care of this one OP.....she sounds like a great girl.
Don't spoil it with an ulterior motive please. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 12:29:01 PM | Unless you rape her, you don't take her virginity away, she gives it.
First, you two better discuss STD prevention and birth control. If that is too embarrassing or difficult, then one should be too embarrassed to engage in sex.
She is obviously not comfortable with the idea of having sex, maybe because she isn't sure how she feels about giving up her virginity, how important it is to her. She may have fears of inadequacy and ineptitude due to her inexperience and/or knowledge. It could be that she has body image issues. She may have concerns that it may be painful, or that she may feel pressured/obligated to do something she doesn't want to do/try/experience, she could worry about her reputation, wonder about your motivations or be riddled with guilt for committing sin. She may be wrestling with trust issues. Could be any, all or combination of the above, as well as something I haven't considered.
I can guarantee this, we all hope the first time would be pleasantly memorable and guilt free.
Talk to her, only she can answer the questions I pose. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:48:57 PM | I think what you did was nice. You were understanding.
I think it's good that she stood her ground.
I'm a virgin and I've had to say 'Not happening' many times.
I don't regret that, either. If they don't respect what I want to do with myself and my body then they don't respect me. Simple, no need to ever talk to them again.
Why are girls who want to keep it, usually the ones who never have a bf??
I usually always have a boyfriend. I've dated a lot of people who weren't virgins and some that were. I'm going to wait until I'm married to do that. I'd also be looking for someone that is waiting as well, even if they aren't virgins. It's like how some people say they want a person with a nice body because they have a nice body.
If you were just looking for some arse you would have been more like the guys I've seen here. It seems you really like her and I wish you guys good luck. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 2:54:47 PM | I really think that most guys would bolt... I mean why have the cow if it isn't giving any milk, right? (lol thats something my mom would say). And I say this because I've had prior relationships where, because I wouldn't give it up, the guys would break up with me. Girls have broken up with me because I wouldn't let them go down on me... That being said- There really isn't a right or a wrong to this stance. She is doing what is right for her. That's it. A girl whose slept with many guys is doing it because she feels its the right thing for her at the time. Everyone is capable of making the right choices for themselves in life and in all honesty I believe that is what this girl is doing. How she feels about it though... well I can't blame her there are too many people out there that view sex as a norm and the lack thereof as abnormal. Look at it the other way around though, a guy who is a virgin is portrayed in society as something to make a mockery, however I think its actually a bit refreshing- Wow you managed to find other things to occupy the time hahaha. A girl who is a virgin is usually looked at as something to be concquered and ravished. While I realize not all people hold these views they are the majority.. and no to those who are getting ready to bash me by saying "I don't believe that!!" I said "usually" ie it is the majority, so therefore an assumption and now norm that society follows- I do know some people aren't so mainstream so I applaud you for being able to be of a different mind then all the other fishes in the sea  - Sun | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:56:13 PM | | Talk to her and see what she is waiting for. if she is waiting for "true love" then I would stick it out if your really into her. If she is waiting for marriage then I would find someone else. The fact that you were just touching her breast and she pulled away is a bit strange but then again it depends on how long you have dated. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:44:50 PM | OP I think you are very sweet and respectful and there should be more guys like you out there. You should stick it out and see what happens, there is nothing wrong with her being a virgin and she could very well be worth the wait.
"But you don't sound all that respectful to me,especially when you assume you are going to be the one who is going to take away her virginity."
^^^^^^
Ignore that kinda crap right there thats just bitterness.
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:21:30 PM | Well, your response to her virginity is interesting.
She's a virgin. What does this mean? she hasn't had sex.
It doesn't mean she is more trustworthy than other girls. Or respects herself differently.
I don't know her age or how many guys she's dated. If you're the first, then it doesn't even mean she is "true to her convictions". (I'm not quoting you, but that's a commonly heard phrase).
All it means is if you want to date her, you won't be having any sex with her. period. As far as fooling around, well, that's something I suggest you discuss (and not while kissing). Like, when I was a virgin, the first time a guy stuck his hand up my shirt, I probably wasn't sure how to react. But, well, let's just say a lot of guys stuck their hands a lot of places before I was ready to have sex with someone. For me, there were a lot of steps b/t kissing and sex and I conquered each of them before I had sex. (not oral though...that just freaked me out back then - I was a bit scared of penises in those days).
And something I wanted to add is that there was only *1* guy who has ever pressured me to have sex, before or after I was a virgin. And that happened to be the ONE virgin I dated. Funny, huh? All the others were very respectful that I wasn't ready. We certainly fooled around, but when I said stop, they stopped. And, eventually, we broke up for reasons that had nothing to do with intercourse. So I guess I was glad I waited.
Of course, I never planned to wait until marriage. I was just waiting until I was "ready". and actually I do wish I had waited longer...but oh well. I was 18, incidentally.
Kaylie | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:13:47 PM | | Let me tell you something about my girl....she's the sweetest and most caring person I've ever met. A few of you have been quick to say some harsh words about her. No she's not acting. No she's not got anything planned behind it. I don't have anything planned behind it either. I don't give a damn if we do or don't. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:35:25 PM | You are only 21, and unless you really think you are going to marry this young lady be prepared to be your own best friend for a few years or walk away. It sounds to me like you have just started dating and just because she wants to wait doesn't mean you have to feel the same way. Odds are as she matures she may not want to wait either but after having sexual experience with other girls do you really want to go back to holding hands again? Be honest with yourself.
PS: Virginity does not mean sainthood, she can lie, cheat or piss you off just like anyone else. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:56:53 PM | | yah i'm only 21, i dont' think that matters much. if i have to be my own best friend so be it. i've been dating since i was 15, had sex for the first time at 17. we've been dating for 2 months now. she's very mature for her age, and she's sticking to her guns. and yes i do want to go back to holding hands because she is a very special girl. i am totally honest with myself. like i said sex is not the basis of the relationship. i didn't say it was saint hood...i just find that by knowing that she is one, it made her into a great woman who realizes what she wants, although that is not the only reason she is a great woman. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:14:03 PM |
Sex is the last thing on my mind tho, I was just pointing out something. To me sex is over rated. Dont' get me wrong, I like it a lot
*cough*...bullshit.. *cough* | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:36:25 PM | i'm an idiot, trying to quote someone else, but quoted myself. hahaha. if i was a guy i wouldn't date a girl who was a virgin. I think they would be more likely to cheat. i know when i was younger i was engaged, and had only been with like 3 people. i'm obviously not engaged anymore, but now i know that I'm glad we broke up because i've had more of a chance to see what's out there, experiment a little  | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:51:07 PM | wow
good for you, good luck with this one op
as for me, my first GF, who was a virgin as well :: I am a virgin too and still am::, wanted sex after a month of going out with me. I declined and told her that I wanted to get to know her first, surprise surprise!! she dumped me a few weeks later.
it goes both ways
and no, not all guys are looking for sex. Sex is also the last thing on my mind. I've been a virgin for 25 years, why would I care for something I've never gotten to feel or "taste" ?? | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:22:12 AM | RE: First post.
Well Im just gunna disregard commenting on the main issue and say you're a giant sleezeball for making an innocent, shy girl feel guilty about not sticking around when she was CLEARLY totally uncomfortable. Keep your gods be damned puppy eyes to yourself. -_- | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:47:30 AM | | LMFAO. I wanted her to stay to show her that's not what I was after. The reason she was running off because she was afraid I'd be mad. I wasn't. I just wanted to show her that wasn't what I was after. I love it how I'm all of a sudden the bad guy when I didnt' do anything LOL | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:50:47 AM |
wow
good for you, good luck with this one op
as for me, my first GF, who was a virgin as well :: I am a virgin too and still am::, wanted sex after a month of going out with me. I declined and told her that I wanted to get to know her first, surprise surprise!! she dumped me a few weeks later.
it goes both ways
and no, not all guys are looking for sex. Sex is also the last thing on my mind. I've been a virgin for 25 years, why would I care for something I've never gotten to feel or "taste"
well good for you for sticking to your guns....not all guyz would admit that and good for you...just goes to show u don't jump into bed with just anyone. | |
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| Question reguarding women and their virginity
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:59:27 AM | | If you dont think you did something wrong there then you know little to nothing about women let alone young girls. Which, I guess, seems likely according to your story. | |
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